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Here's chapter eleven!

He's smiling at me just like he usually would. "Hey, Gabi."

Oh God. Troy's being so nice already and all I can think about is how I humiliated myself in front of him last night.

"Hi," I finally reply a bit too quietly.

He notices immediately, and to my surprise reaches for my hand as he moves closer to me. "Hey, it's okay. I just came to see if you're alright, but you don't have to tell me anything. Please don't be embarrassed, there's no need to be."

"I beg to differ..." I tell him, but I manage an appreciative smile at his kindness. "And I will explain...that's if you want to hear it. It's kind of a long story."

Troy smiles back softly, then nods in answer to my invitation.

I let out a sigh that I can't hold in, hoping he won't hear it. Then I turn away to lead him to the sofa.

When I first spotted this man driving my usual bus to work, never in a million years did I guess that a week later I would be telling him all about my past.

But here I am...

"Troy," I start hesitantly, because I'm about to tell him something I've not spoken aloud for years. "A few years back, I was married. That man in the pub last night, Matt...he's my ex-husband."

.HSM.

"I don't really let myself think about it. But if I'm honest, he's the reason I've stayed single all this time. I've moved on in every other way apart from that."

Troy is listening intently. I can't think of a name for the way his face looks right now; but one thing I do know is that he cares. Enough to give the subject of my broken marriage his full attention.

I thought this would be hard, but it's not. Maybe that's because I'm discussing it with someone who's never heard the story before.

Or it could be because I seem to be able to tell Troy anything effortlessly.

"We got married too young – we met at school," I'm explaining. His eyes don't widen when I reveal this to him; but I'm certain that no one would ever have thought I had got myself married at the age of eighteen.

"We'd been married for about a year and a half when I had this accident – I'm sure that bit doesn't surprise you..." I'm not sure whether I want him to laugh or not, but when I look up I see that Troy is smiling. It's enough to make me continue.

"Anyway, I broke my leg in several places, and Matt had to look after me. He resented that, and we started to argue a lot. Obviously, I couldn't work for a while with a broken leg, so I...I became overweight. That's what happens when all you're capable of is sitting at home and eating, I suppose."

Troy's eyes are watching me with a flicker of understanding in them. I know he's piecing together the reasons for my insecurities as he listens.

"I woke up one morning to find that he'd just...left me. No note; he hadn't even said that he wanted out of our marriage. It seems even a joke to call it that now – a marriage. I rang everyone I could think of frantically, trying to find him. His sister eventually answered, saying he was staying with her. She told me he'd left me because I was fat."

There's no emotion in my voice as I come to the main point in my little story. I've been over it too many times; talked about it so much that now, years later; I've disconnected myself from it. I know it's the story of a big event in my life; but to help myself overcome what happened, I've had to act as though it simply didn't happen to me. The overweight girl with the broken leg wasn't me.

And in some ways, it's true. I'm not the same person I was then.

Troy hasn't said a word yet.

"Troy?"

He takes a deep breath, then finally answers me. "I'm so sorry," he whispers.

And suddenly I'm laughing. He must think I'm deluded, having just given that depressing monologue.

"Well...thanks, but it's not your fault!" I say as my laughter dissolves.

Just as quickly as my amusement disappears, the embarrassment returns in full force. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that last night..."

This seems to snap him into action, and he moves to sit right next to me now. "Don't give that another thought, Gabi, please. I'm just glad you're doing okay."

Troy couldn't be more different to Matt if he tried. And now I realise something as I sit and watch him watching me. All this time, I've thought myself perfectly willing to find someone – if only to end the years of being a singleton.

But was I willing to let a man into my life like this before? Probably not.

It just goes to prove my point, then, when I find that I'm keen to finish the rest of my story. "You know, I really didn't think it was true at the time, when his sister told me why he'd left. I demanded that Matt tell me himself. So he did."

I think his exact words were: "You've let yourself go, Gabriella." But I'm sure Troy gets the gist without me having to tell him that.

"That's...awful. I don't know what to say," Troy replies, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Neither did I," I answer, smirking as I think of something that used to cause me so much pain. Now I just wonder how I didn't see it coming. "Especially when I found out that he'd met someone else."

"You're joking!"

I shake my head, but I'm smiling. That part doesn't bother me anymore. What happened next...that part does. Despite how much I've moved on now, I can't say I feel nothing about the months following my marriage split.

Yes, I forced myself to pretend it wasn't me for a while. But it's still there – I know it was about me.

I look up at Troy. He can see that my thoughts have drifted, and his eyes are asking me what I'm thinking about.

"I was so upset at the time that I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I stopped making an effort. I stopped going out, I stopped all my training plans; I even stopped eating properly."

I know what that last admission will have him thinking; and sure enough his eyes widen with shock.

And pain, too; I see that as I study his face just that little bit longer.

Although I'm not clear on why my words have caused him this much distress; I'm desperate to set things straight.

"It wasn't an eating disorder, Troy. Maybe it could have gone that way, but my head was a mess – it was far too muddled to even think of trying to control my body. The not eating part only lasted about a week before Sharpay intervened and gave me a good talking to. She shocked me into going back to square meals and everyday routines; but I still wasn't myself. I didn't truly pick myself up again until the divorce came through and I finally decided to carry on with my hairdressing training."

So that's it. That's my life story told. I feel like I've been talking for a week, and that was only the short version. I don't want to relive those awful dark days any longer than I have to.

I can't bring myself to look at Troy again; not yet. I need to hear him say something first. Anything.

"So that's why you can't see yourself through my eyes," he mused softly, startling me with his unexpected remark.

Does anyone see me the way he does?

I can't find an answer for him. Not directly, anyway.

"Well, with the way I was behaving, the weight dropped off me; unhealthy as the method was – though it really wasn't intentional. By the time I was eating properly again, I'd pulled myself together enough to start eating better, too."

Troy looks like he wants to say something else in relation to how I see myself. I can tell because he's got that curious look on his face again. So it throws me completely when he opens his mouth and instead utters another set of words entirely.

"Gabi...this might be the wrong time and place to say it, but if I could just tell you anyway; you don't have to answer me right now."

"What?" I blurt out, stunned. "I mean...sorry, carry on."

He laughs at my reaction, something he must be used to by now. "I don't think this is how most people do this. Sometimes I'd like to be spontaneous like most guys, but I don't think this is the right moment for that. What I want to say is...I've got feelings for you, Gabriella."

Something about the use of my full name makes the statement all the more sincere – though I don't need any extra convincing of it's truth.

It's as though some sort of spell over me has been broken. Suddenly I know exactly what to do next.

"Troy?"

"Yeah?" His smile is nervous as he waits for my reply, but my own face is brimming with life right now.

"Who says it's not the right time for a bit of spontaneity?" I ask impulsively before leaning over to kiss him.

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