Standing in front of her door, he realises he has no idea what to do next. He contemplates waiting for her until she decides to exit her room, but he realises security could have him removed, as that would be considered 'stalking'. He wants to knock. But what would he say once he saw her? I'm sorry? Not enough. He wouldn't even forgive himself with that.
His fist taps against her door twice. Crap. He should have thought things through first, just as he should have thought twice before paying $500 for a flight across the country. A one-way flight.
The latch unlocks, and his heart stills. When her door opens, he feels like he's unconscious.
'Oh, my God,' she whispers, but to him, her voice sounds so much louder, echoing around him.
She attempts to smash the door in his face, and he's not quite sure how he manages to react so fast, but he stops her, his hand pushing it back open.
'Don't,' he mutters, and resumes just standing there, looking at her face. He remembers everything just by glancing over her eyes. The eyes that never lie, at least not to him. The eyes that he used to dream about. The same ones he still does sometimes. But when his gaze drops, and he observes her body in the process, his lungs fill up and he feels like he can't breathe. Like the walls are closing in on him, like the door is locking in his face. Like there is no way out.
He cannot look away from her waist, and especially from the small bump evident from between her hips. His eyes widen. He starts to slowly think. He realises she is...
pregnant. He cannot believe it, but he becomes more and more aware of it. He cannot believe it. He has always been an able student when it came to Math, so it doesn't take him long to put two and two together. Four. Four months since the Shepherd divorce party. Four months since they had sex. Four months along. He cannot believe it.
A soft noise distracts him, and his eyes shoot up. She's crying. And his first reaction is to pull her towards him. He is gentle, and careful, and it surprises him more than it should have when she pushes away from his embrace. Weakly.
'You were never supposed to know!' she shouts, and walks into her room, leaving her door open for him to follow. He does, and closes it behind him. Everything feels surreal, oversized, nothing is simple anymore. It takes him a while to comprehend.
He wants to clarify things. He doesn't know how to ask, and the fact that she's sobbing in her hands isn't helping, but he walks towards her and kneels by her feet. He doesn't touch her.
'Is it mine?' he asks, the stupidest question known to man. He knows the answer.
It takes her a while to compose herself before him. She dries her eyes harshly with the back of her hands, and stares at him. Deep and cold. Her eyes are red and puffy, but to Dan, she is still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
'You were never supposed to know. Why do you think I'm here, Dan? Everything was supposed to run so smoothly...' she looks away, shaking her head.
'Everything?' he asks, fiddling with his hands in his lap.
She laughs, a laugh similar to the one he heard on the phone. Sad, and broken, and too mature for his liking. Drowned by sorrows and hurt. He hated that laugh.
'There is a family here that wants to adopt. They can't have children, and it seems I can... I sometimes think it's ironic.'
Again, he speaks without really thinking about it. 'Serena, is the baby mine?' he asks, his tone stronger this time around.
She looks at him, and he reads the answer in her eyes. 'I really want to say no. But I can't. That's why I left, why I came here. I didn't want you to know.'
He can't control his anger, his frustration. 'And you're going to give our child away? Without even speaking to me? It seems the saying 'like mother, like daughter' is not a complete exaggeration.'
She slaps him. Hard, and then flinches at the realisation, covering her mouth with her hand. It feels as if it's burning against her skin. Or maybe that was just the anger bubbling inside her.
'How dare you say that to me?' She doesn't care if she cries. She doesn't want to hold back anyway. 'How dare you come here, and be angry with me for not telling you about this, for giving it away, when you told me you wanted nothing to do with me anymore?'
With every word she speaks, his head drops further and further with shame and hatred for himself.
'What, did you think I would bring a child into the world that would never know their father? I know what that feels like; it's the worst feeling possible, and I would never willingly do it to anyone! How could you, Dan, compare me to my mother, when you know, maybe better than anyone, how hard I try to be nothing like her?'
She stops for a moment to attempt to control her breath, and he takes it to hold her hands into his.
'Don't touch me!' she shouts, pulling her fingers away from his.
'I would have been here for my child. You know that. I would have been here for you. You know that too.'
'I don't anymore.'
'Serena, you don't have to give the baby up. We can work things out. We can raise him, or her, together. I want to get the chance to.'
'You know what's really ironic? I used to want it, too. For a really long time. But what you said the last time I saw you changed that, and it's just so damned ironic that it happens when I stop wanting it to. It doesn't matter what you want. As far as I'm concerned, I'm in this alone.'
She gets up and steps around him, opening the door and extending her arm towards the exit.
'I don't need you this time. Not anymore.' He is so close to believing her, but the characteristic weakness in her voice doesn't allow him to. Her eyes, glossy and pained, prove to him she wasn't truthful.
'I don't care. I'm not leaving you again.' He stands, and looks at her, pleading with his eyes.
'Dan, don't make this harder than it should be. Please, just leave.'
'No.'
She shakes her head. 'Then, I guess, I'll be the one to go,' she announces, and walks out, running slightly towards the elevator. She doesn't even look back to see if he is following.
Serena runs out of the main doors of the hotel, and flinches at the loud noise of the hectic city. She is taken aback by it, but soon decides to move again, not wanting to give him time to get to her. She knows she would find it harder to leave him once more.
Her vision is partially clouded by the heavy flow of tears, and she has no idea where she's going, but she runs anyway, wrapping an arm around her middle. The first time she's shown any compassion towards the human growing inside of her. She realises that Dan being there, making her clarify it was his baby, made her care for it. Love it. But she knew she couldn't let that happen. It would make things that much harder when her time was up.
She is much too caught up in everything to hear the honk of the car approaching her. It just suddenly darkens around her.
A/N: Tension. I know, so much angst in this chapter, but, hey, you only have the GG writers to thank for that. There's only so much you can do with what happened in the season finale. I hope you like this, and review to let me know what you think. Cheers!