Disclaimer: If only I could have had that idea on the train all those years ago… Alas only Mira and Caylarium and all the OC's are mine. Oh except Ness…
Ness, VANESSA RIVERS, is the creation of Cookies-And-Ink, she is completing a spin off side project of Ness aptly named Snapshots in Multicolour [Rated T]. Check it out. :)
Chapter Three was completed on holiday so that will be up soon :)
Last thing. I am a beta so check out my profile :)
Much love to my Beta Cookies-And-Ink
Chapter Two – Judgement Day
Date and Place: Unknown
I can't see anything. My heart is racing, I can feel it pulsing against my skin and if I'd ever had a bad feeling before this must be the worst right now. I shift my shoulders and the surface below me is hard and cold.
There's something rubbing my wrists, like rope almost. I twist them slightly but it only hurts more. What makes it even worse is the fact that it's dark again and this fear stems from when I was much younger. The fact that Matthew Logan would lock me in the dark every night was part of it but it came before that I'm sure. I remember something.
I feel a breeze near my feet and I'm suddenly aware that I have no shoes or socks. I wiggle my toes, who would take my shoes? This isn't right. This isn't right.
Why the fuck can't I see anything!?
I can smell fire, hear it crackle and can feel the heat radiating around the room. It didn't feel right. It was a petrol fire - at least that's how it smelt anyway.
I lift my shoulder blades up once more, straining my arms as I take a deep breath in. Then my ears prick as there's a creak of an old heavy door and I hear footsteps. My eyebrows knit together in confusion and automatically my body tenses up. Hell, who is it? Who the fuck is it?!
I squirm, panic pulses through me and my breathing quickens. My heart stops as a harsh chuckle reaches my ears.
"You'll never get away with it" I say, though my voice trembles slightly. The dark chuckle echoes once more round the room.
"No baby I expect not..." the voice whispers, it is male, "But by the time they find us it'll be over"
When I woke up, my whole body lurched forward, shaking. Blaise materialised next to me wrapping his arms around me. I dropped my face sucking in a breath, rocking gently. He held me for a long while because even he knew this was worse than usual but after about twenty minutes I finally managed to take a breather.
"C'mon, let's get you upstairs" Blaise said as he supported me to stand up, I shifted and circled my shoulders.
"I think I can manage" I replied weakly, Blaise rolled his eyes and as always refused to remove his arm from around my waist. I sighed and we made our way upstairs. I hate this bit. The bit where they finally let you out and you feel so pathetic, so weak, but as soon as we moved into the main building from the basement I plastered a smile across my face.
"So come on tell me what's been going down while I've been on holiday" I snorted.
"Malcolm stabbed the new guy" Blaise grinned. My eyes widened, this new guy wouldn't be around long.
"Said his name?" I smirked, Blaise nodded. "When we say stabbed..." I began.
"A quill right through his hand" he answered. I flinched, I bet that hurt.
"Still here?"
"Yeah" he answered, I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah I'm surprised, being stabbed would scare me off" Blaise grinned, bloody Slytherin.
"If someone flicked you it would scare you off" I laughed as we finally reached the top floor and made our way into my room. Someone caught the door and I turned to see Vanessa Rivers stood in the doorway.
"Hey Ness" I smiled, heading to the bed to sit down. "Come in." I invited her in but as usual she hesitated and took a step in to be polite, leaning carefully against the door. Blaise had dropped into the chair and I had to smile. This was practically his room just as much as it was mine. This was probably where we were the safest compared to the rest of this place.
"We're glad you're back" Ness said quietly, speaking for the four of her. Ness had three alter egos: Luke, Sasha and May. We think she can see them sometimes in the worse moments of her life but mainly she just spoke with them. Ness was one of the lucky few who attended Hogwarts, she'd tricked the system to get there. She was really smart but we knew and Vanessa knew she was pretty insane, she definitely knew when to hide it though.
"Thank you Ness" I said with a smile, "Anything exciting happened whilst I was gone?" I asked her despite already asking Blaise the exact same question
"I told her about Malcolm" Blaise said with a grin. I figured he was the one who told Ness about Malcolm - he'd probably tell it well, he can be highly dramatic.
"Alan thinks the ground screams when it's hit by lightning and the New Guy -" she hesitated, almost unsure of what to say, "I've decided I don't like him."
"Yeah he's an arse, the idiot! I hate Joanna but he could have killed her never mind me! I mean honestly" I cried animatedly, flinging my arms in the air. Never mind Blaise, I could be highly dramatic when I wanted.
Vanessa shrugged at that since she really couldn't talk; she'd tried to kill Joanna once. I'd only just arrived when the whole thing had gone pear-shaped. It hadn't worked out and Ness had been sent off for fourth months but as a laugh Joanna wouldn't stay for more than eight minutes in the same room as Ness unless she was forced to.
"Why don't you like him Ness, anything in particular?" Blaise asked. It was a long while as she thought and I shifted into a more comfortable position on the bed, pouring myself some water watching as Blaise's dark eyes caught Ness's and she bit her lip. Ness was here when Blaise came to live here and I appeared not long after and we got on pretty well. We weren't like most other people here we understand Ness and the others.
"He doesn't understand, he's fucking new." Ness said, eyes fixing on the window before darting back, meeting Blaise's gaze and then my ice grey ones which were narrowed slightly, "and he called me doll so Sasha wants to kill him. Luke won't stop her and May is scared. Alan said he'd do it for me when I asked so it's okay, don't worry. I promise I won't go crazy."
She winked with a broad grin which made me laugh at her; this was very typical Ness. Blaise rolled his eyes as always but Ness knew that was just his thing.
"I really am glad you're back Mira" she repeated as I caught my reflection and took in that my usually messy black hair was even worse than usual. "Excited?" Ness asked finally
"For?" I replied looking at Blaise to see if he had any clue what was going on. He didn't.
"Hogwarts! It's only 879 hours and 36 minutes until you're on the train!" Ness said and I knew she was rapidly doing the calculations. "So are you excited?"
"Ness we haven't even been assessed! They might decide we can't go." Blaise said. Ness waved that aside with a smile.
"You're going to Hogwarts. You are. So are you excited?"
"I guess so." I said, a little uncomfortable, what if I didn't get into Hogwarts? Blaise would - but what about me?
"And even if we're not I know if we get there it will be exciting. The press are probably going to have a field day, us in the same year as Harry Potter, again if we get there." Blaise said quickly noting my face was a little worried. Ness wrinkled her nose at the mention of the press and it appeared she was having a conversation elsewhere, she hesitated and then sighed.
"Luke wants to know if you'd like a copy of my notes? They're organised by subject, coloured parchment and then topics within the subject."
"Thank you Ness but it's okay." Blaise said. He and I both knew Ness didn't share and she wouldn't be comfortable if we did take her up on her offer.
"Yeah we'll have our textbooks soon if we pass, we can take notes from that. Still, thank you very much." I added, Ness ducked her head with a smile, wearing her school tie wrapped around her forehead for some odd reason.
"Well I'm going to go and dance and I know you want to talk. I just heard you laughing, it sounded good." she finally told us.
"Don't worry about it Ness. You coming to dinner?" Blaise asked.
Ness shook her head "I had five hundred and forty five chews of coco pops, I'm good. See you later and be careful of the New Guy. He doesn't feel right, we're all agreed on that."
Blaise nodded for the both of us and I think Ness was glad we took her so seriously. Ness waved, fingers clenching up and down nine times quickly as a goodbye before she seemed to suddenly remember something.
"Oh, Mira?" she said, a blush brushed her cheeks as I looked to her, "I ate your pieces of toast for you."
I looked at her in surprise and then I thanked her quietly with a smile. The door closed almost silently and Blaise and I sat quietly for a moment. My mind drifted back to that finally memory.
Well if you could call it a memory, I doubt it considering it had yet to happen. I couldn't establish much from it, except for the fact that I'm sure memory Mira knew who the unknown male was and she was so terrified.
That's what scared me the most.
"What happened Mira?" Blaise asked firmly, his eyes locked to mine.
"It wasn't right" I said, "It wasn't just the Logan's house, or me sticking up for Tom. It wasn't just Giles and Ami..." my voice was hollow, "There was something, after that was all over, it wasn't a memory..." I whispered. Blaise's eyes narrowed, his face a picture of confusion for a brief moment as he absorbed my words.
"Do you think perhaps you had a vision of some sort?" he asked, I snorted but shuddered at the same time.
"Are you suggesting I can see the future Blaise?" I raised an eyebrow.
"It wouldn't be the first time..." he retorted, I blanched momentarily, my eyes darting to the door and back.
"That was a coincidence" I snapped, "Besides this memory, vision, thingie ma bobbie, I never EVER want to see it come true..." I told him, he rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair.
"One day when you become a seer, you'll probably kill me for saying I told you so..." he muttered, "What happened? Who was in it?" Blaise moved on quickly, something both he and I knew was a good idea.
"I couldn't see anything but shit, I was terrified Blaise" I stared down at my wrists, rubbing them subconsciously, "I was tied down and the other person in the memory-thing was a guy and I think memory-Mira knew him" I said, as Blaise appeared at my side once more, his arm looped round my waist.
"But you didn't know him..." he confirmed, I nodded, "Did he say anything?" Blaise asked, deep in thought as he sat at my side and kept me from breaking down.
"I told him or rather memory Mira told him that he'd never get away with it and he said something along the lines of: No baby I expect not... But by the time they find us it'll be over. I mean who says that... I woke up after that" I explained, circling my shoulders, which were still incredibly stiff from the fall down the stairs and days of little movement.
"Maybe it was your subconscious making stuff up from the previous memory" Blaise suggested, testing my ability to support myself before he removed his arm from my waist. He's right, my mind could have totally squished some memories together and came up with a totally whack one.
"You're right..." I yawned, "It could be coincidence again" I grinned at him as he dropped his head into his hand in defeat shaking his head slightly. He would do anything to prove I was slightly less normal than I already was. He didn't see it like that of course. I flopped back on the bed, despite being stationary for three days I was still shattered.
You need a shower too! My subconscious shouted at me. So pushy.
"You smell" Blaise quipped as if he had read my mind, I pushed him hard off the bed but unfortunately he remained on his feet and made for the door.
"I hate you" I scowled at him, he grinned.
"You could never hate me Mira" he winked as he walked to the door and I rolled my eyes. I chucked a pillow at his retreating form but he was already gone.
What would I do without him?
The next morning, I felt much better and began plotting my revenge on the New Guy. As I made my way down the corridor, I saw that Blaise's door was open and the room was empty. Damn he went to breakfast already? I continued down to breakfast alone, checking my watch as I did. I noted that I was neither later nor early yet it seemed quiet but it only took me a few seconds to figure out why. Today was the day we've been waiting for, the twenty-fourth of august.
It's Hogwarts Assessment day.
My heart soars for a brief moment then drops like a stone - today could guarantee me a second chance or rip away my life just like that. All I have to do is get through the day and little over a week I could be heading to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. The hairs on my arms rose in anticipation as I entered the kitchen where Callum, Blaise and Thomas were sat already eating breakfast. Malcolm was there also, despite the age gap, sitting next to Thomas just talking to him as if Thomas would respond back.
Blaise's eyes met mine when I sit down opposite him and he gave me a reassuring smile. I grabbed a couple of slices of toast and covered it with a thick layer of chocolate spread. Might as well indulge myself now at least then I'll be happily fed when they tell me I can't go. I took a large bite.
"You'll get in" Callum said, his voice small but clear, "My sister, she should have started this year..." his eyes look sad and angry at the same time. For the gazillionth time since I got here I wondered whether that's a normal thing around here. Callum's sister who definitely would be starting this year was totally going on the instant dislike list. I hated that Callum had to wind up here, he's a good kid. I smiled softly at him after swallowing a mouthful of chocolate toast.
"I hope so" I replied.
"You better keep your fingers crossed for us scamp" Blaise added, scooping up a spoonful of Frosties after ruffling Callum's hair.
"I'll keep all of them crossed" he beamed, abandoning his breakfast and trying to cross all his fingers. I rolled my eyes and continued eating my toast. One by one people started drifting down to breakfast and something amused me greatly. Joanna tried to make a bet with Kacy - a bipolar 14 year old who'd been around about two years now - that I'd go mad like Giles had when I didn't get in. Kacy, who I got on with quite well, scowled at Joanna and told her calmly to Eff off because she was eating breakfast before meeting my eyes briefly and winking. I was glad she was having a good day; she was pretty witty when it came down to it.
It wasn't until just after nine that Keira Ashton entered the kitchen. If there was one adult that understood everyone here it was her. Well, and Milo Jordan, but he tended to smuggle in prank items made by his brother's best friends for us all. Instant Peruvian Darkness Powder was just one of those items.
The three you had to look out for were Ella-Lousie, Fabian Knowles and Jake Panbing, although Jake lived in the grounds. He sets the wards around Caylarium so no one escapes - basically he's in charge of security. Fabian is a teacher here, he along with Milo, are in charge of helping people to read, write, add, etc. He's really not good compared to Milo, who is the one you really want, Fabian was a coward and a sucky teacher.
And then last and certainly least there is Ella-Louise. I hate to say it but she's unusually pretty for someone with such a fugly personality. She was the woman on the front line of this place, she ran it and span it. That's what we called it because she did run the place but she spins a horrendous web of lies to convince people Caylarium is a good place for a child. Another thing she does is force feed kids medicine, which has to be done the muggle way because the magical way that used to be used damaged the magical core. So consequently my arms looked like they belonged to a bloody drug addict not an eleven year old almost twelve year old child.
"You okay Mira?" Keira asked me, when she realised I'd zoned out and I realised she had been talking and I hadn't been listening.
"Yeah I'm fine" I replied, finishing my toast, "it's a big day" I added.
"Don't worry you and Blaise will be fine" Keira smiled as she helped Callum clear his stuff away.
"Yeah Mira I'll be fine" Blaise joked, I kicked him under the table sharply before smiling sweetly at him, "You've got chocolate on your nose" he added, rubbing his shin with a frown. I rubbed my nose with the back of my hand and stuck my tongue out at him. He opened his mouth to respond but Ella-Louise appeared in the doorway.
"Blaise, Mira, there's a ministry official in the main hallway" she said, "Let's not keep him waiting"
Urgh her voice goes through me. I can't believe it still annoys me. Blaise gave me the look and I realise he's ready to go and I have no socks or shoes on.
"I just have to get my shoes" I replied.
"Two minutes Mira otherwise you can go as you are" she responded with a huge fake grin.
"Yes Miss" I grimaced and practically sprinted upstairs because I knew she was being deadly serious.
I skidded back into the main hall two minutes later still pulling a shoe on. Blaise smirked at me as the ministry official looked down his nose in disgust and checked his watch. I ruffled my fringe to the side and met Blaise's gaze. His eyes snapped to the man and he jerked his head in the same direction.
"What a git" he mouthed from behind him, I coughed to cover up a laugh and shook my head so my fringe dropped back over my eyes.
"The cars waiting, let's go" he said, holding the door open to let us through but I knew already that it certainly wasn't out of politeness but out of wariness. If we were behind him he wouldn't be able to keep an eye on us thereby he was trying to give himself the upper hand. Like either of us were going to do something stupid on a day like today and hinder our chances of getting into Hogwarts.
"So we're going by car to the ministry?" I scoff under my breath.
"What you didn't think they were going to let you floo anywhere, did you?" Blaise quipped.
I scowled at him, "Oh yes I find it highly likely that they're going to let a pyromaniac use the floo" I sighed as we begin our journey to the ministry. I was sure it wouldn't be too hard for me to use the floo, in fact, I'd probably be most adept. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably as the countryside started whizzing past. It wasn't often that I left the wards of Caylarium and usually I really would take more in but I was just too distracted by the day ahead.
Blaise and I didn't talk the whole way there although we both know we were just as anxious as the other one. It's not as easy to be ourselves around people we didn't know. There was a moment somewhere in the journey where I grabbed his hand and didn't let go. He didn't even flinch or look round from the window but I felt more comforted than I was before.
After a painstaking journey of around three hours the car came to a halt outside a red telephone box on a back road in the centre of London.
"I think I've lost all feeling in my hand, thanks Black" Blaise said, shaking his hand like he'd just had an arm wrestle with Chuck Norris.
"No problem Zabini" I smirked climbing out of the car and into the phone box. It was a really tight fit having Blaise, the Ministry Guy and myself all squished inside but the guy just grumbled and reached past Blaise to grab the receiver and type in the number six-two-four-four-two.
"Magic!" Blaise and I chorused before looking down at the floor and waiting for something else to happen.
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." A clear cool female voice said as if she were standing right next to us.
"John Teller, Department of Exams and Further Studies, here to escort Blaise Zabini and Mira Black for their Hogwarts assessments" the guy said clearly into the receiver.
"Thank you" the voice returned, "Visitors, please take the correct badges and attach them to the front of your robes"
Two badges shot down the chute where coins would usually dispense and I hurriedly picked up the correct one. Mira Black, Hogwarts Assessment.
"Visitors, you will be submitted to a search and be registered as an official visitor to the ministry upon arriving at your assessment" the voice rang out as the phone box began to sink into the pavement making me immediately tense up and shift towards Blaise ever so slightly. Almost too quickly we were lapsed into complete darkness and all we could hear was the grinding of stone as we sunk deeper and deeper into the ground. Luckily it couldn't have been longer than a minute when light began to rise up from our feet until it reached our eyes making me blink tightly just like coming out of isolation after a few days.
"The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day" the female voice said one more before the door of the telephone box swung open and we stepped out into the hustle and bustle of the Ministry Atrium.
"This way" John Teller beckoned us immediately away from the main atrium and into a lift where he pressed a button which read: Departments Education through Improper Use of Magic Office. Blaise read it under his breath.
"I could do with reporting a few people to that office" he added quietly and I completely agreed with him of course. The lift doors slid across and I watched the crowd of other people outside the lift shoot away as the lift jerked backwards and down out of sight in two fluid movements. I hate lifts - they make me feel queasy.
We eventually found ourselves sitting outside the Testing and Assessment Office, just us, alone.
"I think this might be the first test Black" Blaise said, leaning back in his chair his face barely twitching into a grin.
"Quite possibly..." I retorted, "What do you think we should be doing?" I asked him, swinging my feet back and forth along the carpet beneath me.
"I don't know - but I expect they don't want a song and dance" he responded. I rolled my eyes and thanked god that I got his sarcasm because it goes straight over everyone else's heads.
The first two tasks of the day take until 11 o'clock. They tested both our General and Magical Knowledge over a series of about one hundred and fifty multiple choice answers. By the end of the tests I was completely zapped but I reckoned I'd done pretty well. Blaise seemed positive too, although, I reckoned he was much cleverer than I was.
"There's drinks over there" the receptionist nodded to us and we looked at each other. I was about to go over but Blaise stopped me discretely.
"That's okay Ma'am, we're fine" he said before we took our seats once more and I glared at him.
"Erm Blaise, why the hell do I not want a drink?" I whispered harshly under my breath.
"Because Mira, it could be a test, it could have something in it. Anything as minor as caffeine could change the way you behave" he responded, I instantly felt a bit pissed off that I didn't think of that already, "Start thinking before you do things, at least try for the next seven hours..."
"Yeah yeah I know" I replied, "They don't want to admit the crazy kids" I said in a higher pitched voice than before. It was all stupid, no other child had to do all this, they just got in. Although, if everyone at Caylarium got the help they needed maybe we all wouldn't have to go through this.
"Mira Black" a male voice called out, my head snapped up and there was a tall man stood in a nearby doorway. He had sandy blonde hair and was dressed in smart robes which designated him as a St Mungos Healer.
"That's me" I said.
"Do you want to follow me?" he smiled, "We're ready to do your medical now"
A medical? That's sounds fun. Not. I stood up and followed the man through to an office as I left I heard Blaise being taken off elsewhere for his medical. It was a doctor's office so I loitered in the doorway afraid to go in but of course I didn't show that. I just stared at him blankly.
"Take a seat" he said as soon as he noticed that I had remained by the doorway and anxiously I crossed the room and sat down, "I'm Nathan Goldstein, a healer from St Mungos, how are you feeling today?" he asked, his smile still lingering on his face.
"I'm okay" I responded, nervous that if I said anymore I'd say something wrong.
"Have you had any illness or injury in the last two weeks?" his eyes moved quickly upwards to my eye where I had whacked in my fall down the stairs.
"Well, I fell down the stairs about four days ago now" I shrugged slightly, "Hurt my eye a bit"
"May I?" Nathan leant forward and ran his thumb across the cut just above my eyebrow, "This probably could have done with being professionally seen to when it occurred" I wanted to shrug again, what was I supposed to do? I knew that but clearly the people that should do didn't.
"It didn't hurt too badly" I answered in response to his thoughts. I wanted to add that I was used to it that, I'd survived almost five years at Caylarium. I could get through another six years.
"Did you get a headache? Feel woozy or dizzy? Odd dreams? Anything like that?" Nathan questioned, I shook my head.
"Did you injure yourself elsewhere?"
"Not really, just bruises"
"Could have been a lot worse" he supplied, "You clearly know how to fall down the stairs with grace, Miss Black"
For the first time under the presence of someone other than Blaise since arriving here I smiled.
"I do everything with grace" I grinned before adding Mr Goldstein to the end. I forgot that I had to act politely here. To my surprise he smiled back.
"Even falling down the stairs?" he asked.
"Even falling down the stairs" I repeated. Why wasn't this guy giving off such bad vibe?
Not everyone's out to get you, my subconscious told me and I tried not to scowl.
"Now Miss Black, if you would be so kind as to stand up so I can do a diagnostic" he asked, standing up himself and pulling out his wand; I bit my lip and he instantly sensed my hesitation, "It won't hurt and you will not feel a thing, you have my word"
Anxiously I stood up and took a small step away from the seat. He waved his wand towards and I couldn't help but squeeze my eyes shut. Nothing happened but after thirty seconds Nathan Goldstein spoke again.
"All done, you can take a seat again and we'll go through these" he said. Together we found out that I was in good physical condition but pretty much everything else was quite boring. He put the diagnostic into a file with my name on it and pulled another piece of paper out. It was labelled Initial Report and dated the 25th November 1985. I paled a little - that piece of paper put me in Caylarium.
"Do you mind if I read this out - I feel if you know what you're dealing with you might find it easier to establish what people here and elsewhere might think of you" he said to me, "I personally believe if you know what this says then you will be able to use that to get to Hogwarts"
Wait? He wanted me to go to Hogwarts, he wanted me to be out of the dark on all this? It all sounded very sneaky on Nathan Goldstein's behalf. I didn't deserve this anyway, all this testing and assessment, not me, not Blaise, not Ness, not Ami, not even Giles.
"I'm not crazy - some people build a picture too quickly. About being a Caylarium resident, about being a Black - I am not my father. I am an eleven year old kid" I retorted, my voice was raised slightly but I stopped abruptly knowing it was stupid to speak out of turn like that, "Sorry" I said quickly following my outburst.
"Miss Black, I do not form opinions from reports, place of residency or on last names" he warned, "I also believe that you are very right about people's stereotypical way of thinking"
I was still on edge though, even after his reassurance that he was not prejudice in any way at all. I secretly hoped that Blaise's medical was going better than mine but if I know Blaise, which I do, he can be incredibly detached.
Right now he's probably wearing a bored face and answering questions in a very straight way. Blaise is so different around other people, even at Caylarium he's only himself to Ness, Callum and I. He's an observer, he prefers to make a judgement based on what he sees whereas I do the opposite. I just do things straight away not really thinking - he balances me out he makes me think a little more.
After a moments silence Mr Goldstein spoke again, "Still want read?"
"Please" I said my voice barely above a whisper.
"Right, I'm going to read out the assessors comments" he replied, hmm I remember the assessor being a jerk, "I first met Mira Black when she was at the age of six years and two months. She clearly has developed pyromaniac tendencies by becoming an arsonist ..."
"I am not an arsonist!" I interjected.
"You burnt down your foster parents house" he reminded me.
"I didn't know any better I was a six year old being abused not a sadistic demon child" I countered before I froze. This is why I need Blaise, I wouldn't say stupid things like that which only he knew.
"Pardon?" he stuttered, his eyes quickly scanning the report as I dropped my head into my hands.
Nice going Mira. You caused an issue that never needed to be fixed. It could have easily been left alone. You better think bloody fast.
"Never mind just forget it" I muttered, the Logan's got away with what they did to me. Although I can't say I kicked up a fuss, in fact, I avoided the subject and remained impartial to the events happening around me. Besides it was done, over, something like that was going to stop me getting to Hogwarts.
"Miss Black did your foster parents harm you in anyway?" he asked looking down at me. Yeah, just physically, emotionally, mentally. Pretty much everything. I wondered whether to lie or not.
"Look, Mr Goldstein, I don't care about what's already happen. It's like forgiving and forgetting but without the forgiving part" I explained, "I just want to be treated like a normal eleven year old, you wouldn't put someone who was dyslexic through an ordeal like this so why put us through it? Why put a kid with ADHD through it? Why put a kid who got angry once through it? Why put a kid who didn't know any better at six through it?" I tried not to raise my voice throughout but by the end I was shaking. I moved the conversation on so well he blinked at my downright disrespect and then smiled.
"Usually I'd have to tell a parent but since that can't really happen I will respect your decision" he told me, I hardly believed he was treating me like a normal kid let alone as maturely as an adult, "I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to let them get away with it..." he began.
"Please Mr Goldstein just... keep reading it out" I interrupted, he quickly held up his hands to stop me and grabbed hold of the initial report once more.
"An issue that also was picked up by the previous foster parents was Mira's inability to remain calm and have angry sometimes violent outbursts" he continued, I scowled, only if I was provoked. I said nothing in reply to this and allowed him to continue to read out the rest of the report. After doing all the rest of the assessment went pretty much perfectly, Nathan Goldstein let me into a small secret. He was going to approve my medical, which confirmed me of sound mind and that I was physically fit to attend Hogwarts. However sure I was that he was telling the truth, I still couldn't fully put my trust in him.
I was glad to finally meet back up with Blaise and I flopped into the seat next to him. He face was hardened, his jaw set and his eyes were distant. Great.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Fine" he said briskly, I rolled my eyes and dropped my head back staring up at the white ceiling above me. I hate Blaise when he was like this.
"If you're going to be an arse Zabini, just listen to me" I said quietly, "Whatever they said, did, whatever they're going to say, to do, you're going to pass. I know it" I told him, "I know it..." I whispered. He didn't speak and I sighed in frustration. Surely this was over now, surely. I stared up at the clock, one in the afternoon, we weren't scheduled to finish until six so what the hell was next?
Ten minutes later, Blaise and I found ourselves in a classroom with eight other children around our age perhaps slightly older. They called this a mock lesson, I suspected it was to test our interaction with other students and with the teacher I imagine.
"Hi" a boy sat down next to Blaise and smiled at him, he had dark hair and was fairly small. I tried not to snort, Blaise is very cold with people he didn't know or like.
"Hello" he responded forcing a smile across his face.
"Are you looking forward to the class?" the boy asked.
"I am, are you?" Blaise replied, his eyes meeting mine briefly. I soon realised after the boys mindless chatter to Blaise even after the lesson had begun that they were doing it because he could be as good as mute. I turned to try and focus on the man doing the lesson but to be honest I had no clue what it was about. It was at this point I noticed the girl sat in the seat in front of me to the right was scowling at me. I frowned at her and tried desperately to focus on what was going on but in my peripheral vision I saw her crumple up some parchment and throw it towards me. I grabbed the paper from the air and slammed it down on the table, trying not to look back at the girl. I wasn't going to start a fight with this girl not here, unfortunately, it wasn't the girl I had to worry about.
"Miss Black, were you going to throw that?" the teacher snapped, I glared at him, "How dare you disrupt my class!" I took a deep breath and tried to ignore my natural instincts.
"Don't" Blaise barely moved his lips.
"Miss Black answer me" the man interrupted, "Were you going to throw that parchment?" I felt my fists clench but I managed to get some polite words out.
"Of course not sir, I wouldn't want to disrupt your class" I replied as convincingly as I could, which turned out as well as I could have hoped for. He seemed to ignore my retort and I assumed he had going to turn back to his lesson but he didn't. He pointed his wand at the scrunched up piece of parchment on the desk.
"Incendio!" he shouted, the parchment went up in flames and my eyes fixated on it. The fire spread round the paper and I gripped the edge of my seat in order to resist doing something stupid. I can't believe they're doing this on purpose. I closed my eyes briefly as the flames died and every set of eyes in the room were fixed on me.
Calmly I picked up my quill and looked to the teacher to continue. He looked somewhat unimpressed that I hadn't reacted in the way he'd expected. I was lucky that I was able to control my magic because usually when I see fire and I react oddly, my magic reacts oddly too. When he eventually turned around I looked to Blaise who grinned at me.
"Nice going Black, you got through that relatively calmly" he smirked, I nudged him lightly and luckily no one saw.
Finally we had reached the last task. Blaise and I were separated one again and I was locked in a room. I instantly became more aware of my surroundings and my body tensed as I turned to face the room. On the far side in the corner there was a newspaper on the table and slowly I approached it. I was scared of what I was going to see. My heart skipped a beat as I picked up the Daily Prophet. What the-?
What is this?
BLACK'S DAUGHTER FOLLOWS FATHERS FOOTSTEPS
Are you joking me? I pressed on through the paper, which reported - in great detail - how I'd lost my mind and killed over thirty people, muggleborns specifically. I felt sick, this wasn't me, I wasn't like this. It continued to highlight my past, abnormalities that didn't exist, abnormalities that perhaps did exist and dramatic detail into my acts of homicide. I shuddered but quickly put the paper down - if I reacted badly - fuck this isn't good.
I'm not like my Dad. I turned over the paper turning to the crossword because, of course, I hadn't done it today. I made it seem like I wasn't bothered but inside my mind was reeling. Going through the words in the Prophet over and over and over again.
'Mira Black, daughter of notorious Sirius Black...'
'...slaughtered thirty-seven muggleborn witches and wizards...'
'...expelled from Hogwarts...'
'...crazed and riddled with mental abnormalities...'
I rubbed my head, which was spinning, I couldn't be like my father and I'm not crazy, I'm not. I swear to god I'm not. Inside, my body was shaking and my fingers shaking trying to comprehend this.
Suddenly a radio in the corner jumped to life. Funny I hadn't noticed that on the way in.
'...We are sorry to report that our usual Wireless reporter has been viciously murdered by the current Azkaban escapee Mira Black...'
I covered my ears, focusing my eyes down on the crossword where the boxes merged in front of my eyes and the words around doing something similar. What the fuck is this?!
"I know I'm not like this" I said aloud, "So just let me out when you're ready to, I'm just going to do this crossword" I told the empty room. I was surprised that my voice didn't falter, it stayed strong despite the fact that inside I was losing it.
They couldn't possibly predict that I would ever become my father. I would never ever become my father; I couldn't be prejudice like that let alone killing thirty-seven muggleborns in cold blood. Sickening. I rubbed my hands together to cover up the fact as they started to shake uncontrollably. Fuck.
Fuck. Let me out of here. I felt like they were restraining me here because of this article. I felt like I'm mad.
Oh god what if they never let me out? What if this was all a trick and they just lured me here so I would never escape? I wanted to throw up, I'd get up and pound on the door if it wasn't for the fact that part of me still thought this was a test.
I focused on nine down: a magazine which is primarily based on fictional or conspiracy based facts. Eleven letters.
THE QUIBBLER
I scribbled the answer in and my eyes came to rest on six across: Notorious Murderer who killed thirteen muggles and one wizard. Eleven letters.
SIRIUS BLACK
Shakily I quilled in the correct answer, I was going to lose it soon. I needed to get out of here - now. I tried to take some deep breaths and cleared my mind. Suddenly I felt hollow and all I cared about was finishing the crossword.
Three Minutes.
"Done" I barely whispered to myself, I do the prophet crossword every single day and my time just gets better and better but it was never that good. I jumped when the door behind me opened. My clasped my hands together to stop them from shaking as someone took me back to the waiting room. When I was finally alone I dropped my head into my lap my whole body uncontrollably trembling. Would I forever be compared to my father? I don't know how many times it has been brought up and usually I was so good at ignoring it. I ran my fingers through my hair, massaging circles into my head. Is this over yet? Is this over?
Blaise returned and sat next to me, without any words at all he grabbed my hand. My eyes snapped to him – this was so un-Blaise like. His eyes were dark, focused on the clock on the far wall. At six o'clock we were going to find out what whether we'd be attending Hogwarts or not. What had they done to Blaise, what had been in the last room for Blaise?
All we had to do was get through the next ten minutes and it was at this moment that I realised without Blaise there I would have most certainly lost the plot.
I squeezed his hand, "It's going to be okay, no matter what, it's going to be okay"
Watching Alias :) – Would love reviews in exchange for cookies.
Ami xx