She not only wakes up to the smell of the croissants and pastries from her favourite bakery in LA, but she wakes up to him, his face buried in a book. She always wakes up to him. As much as she'd wish otherwise, the fact that he's there, the fact that he hasn't left yet, makes her smile every time she thinks about it.
He'd make a good dad.
'Just because you bought me cinnamon swirls doesn't mean I forgive you, just like that,' she speaks, a faded smile playing on her lips, and a soft, gentle tone twined with her voice. It feels easier to be around him. And she hates the fact that she loves that.
His eyes don't stray away from the page. 'There's also pain-au-chocolat and croissants. Surely that counts for something,' he says, and she giggles softly to herself as she bites into one of them.
'What are you reading?'
'Something I bought at the gift shop downstairs. It's called '50 Shades of Grey'. It's a really popular read, and I can see why. It's basically classy porn, without the 'classy',' he explains, and she chokes on her croissant as she laughs.
'It's nice to know what sails your boat, Dan.'
The sound of her laughter subconsciously makes him smile, and he almost forgets her accident, and her pregnancy, and Blair, and leans over to take her hand into his. She stops chewing and looks at him, confused, and he tries really hard to not feel intimidated and let go. So he grips her fingers tighter.
'Are you ready for hurricane Lily? Her plane lands at midday, and I'm supposed to pick her up from LAX.'
She looks away as she smiles. 'I haven't got a problem with her coming here. She knows everything. It's you that should be worried.' She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
'Let's pray she has an enjoyable first class flight, with lots of champagne.'
-xoxo-
Lily van der Woodsen is like... a beautiful hurricane. She is intense, superior, dominant, mesmerizing; the older, more experienced reflection of her daughter. The curve of her nose is the same as Serena's, and so is the colour of her hair, but inside Lily there is a kind of obscurity for which Serena is too... good. Serena was light where her mother was darkness, and in Dan's eyes, that is a blessing.
He doesn't dare to look in her eyes. This is where her dominant side comes in. He feels so small underneath her careful gaze, so guilty. Her luggage is handed to him, and it feels like the greatest privilege to carry it; getting on the good side of the mother of the girl whom he had gotten pregnant.
One sentence.
'Daniel, the next time you rent a car, make sure a chauffeur comes with it.'
They didn't speak after that.
-xoxo-
Serena is asleep when they arrive at the hospital, and the nurse forces them to wait outside. His knee bounces up and down uncontrollably, and from the corner of his eyes, he notices Serena's mother perched on the edge of her seat, knees slanted to one side, right foot over left, right hand over left in her lap, back straight, chin up. Elegance. Poise. Two more words to add to the list of words to describe her. Elegance that came with an elevated level of education and class.
Dan clears his voice. He feels like he should say something. And still, nothing dares to come out.
His throat dries. He tries again.
'So how did you hear about Rick and Donna?'
Lily smiles that smile that only the people close to her knew it wasn't the kindest she could have.
'Small talk is not exactly appropriate right now, is it, Daniel?' She doesn't look in his direction as he speaks.
He sighs. 'I'm sorry. I just... feel like I need to apologize to you, and I have no clue where to start.'
She turns to face him, and Dan suddenly feels like he wants to crawl into a shell and hide.
'You broke my daughter's heart. It's not me you should apologize to.'
He feels even more uncomfortable as before. 'I... I know that. My apology to you was regarding this situation.'
'This pregnancy wasn't a choice either of you made. Blair, on the other hand, was.'
Shame lowers his gaze.
'Look, Daniel, I've always had a fondness for you. You're always going to be dear to me, even if I've had quite a few strong urges to physically hurt you in the past few weeks.' There is a strange kindness in her voice, and a ghost of a smile on her lips, so his shoulders relax, and his eyebrows unknot.
'But you don't get to my age and not learn something about the people closest to you. My daughter hasn't been the same since that September afternoon when she went to a performance of Lincoln Hawk. I knew her before, and I've seen the changes ever since. She loved you. More than she loved anyone else in her life, even her own mother. To see her suffer because of it has been the hardest thing I, as her mother, could experience. And I'll try everything I can to prevent it from happening again.
But I've learned quite a bit about you, too, and so I know you will try to convince her to keep your child. You need to know what that entails, and that no less is acceptable. She won't keep it without you.'
His gaze meets hers, and for the first time that day, it feels kind of equal. 'I wouldn't want anything less.'
She smiles. Kindly. 'You better mean that.'
-xoxo-
When he enters her room, she is sitting on the edge of her bed, feet dangling on the side of it. Her head shoots towards the door, and Dan is by her side in less than a second, blocking her way.
'You better not be trying to get out of that bed. If I remember correctly, your left arm is still fractured.' He pushes her gently back into the mountain of pillows, ignoring her protests.
She complains about her hands. Insists they are cold, asks for a radiator, but he just gathers them in his and brings them to his lips, blowing hot air over them. His eyes close for the briefest of seconds, and when he opens them, hers pierce right through them. His breath is hot against her fingers one last time, and then he kisses her knuckles as if it was the most natural thing to do at that moment.
'Better?' She can only nod.
'So Lily is outside...' he starts, 'and she wasn't as angry with me as I thought she'd be. I didn't get any scratches,' he jokes, and she giggles slightly in the distance between them.
He rambles about planes, and flights, and how the pressure in the cabin can influence one's behaviour, and as she watches him speak about things she can't keep up with, a small smile creeps on her face.
This is the best time to tell him. It's the easiest time.
'Dan?' she interrupts and his gaze locks with hers again. 'I've been thinking about this for a while, and I spoke to Rick and Donna, and they think it's okay. I want the baby to be born in New York. I want to go back.'
She allows him to snake his arms carefully around her, and as she feels his lips caress her cheeks, a tear drops out of the corner of her left eye. She can at least give him this.