Dan places the sofa pillows back to the way they normally were, and neatly folds his duvet and places it on the side. The same thing he's been doing every morning for the past three weeks.
He stiffens as Serena enters his living room, a loose pyjama around her body and blond hair messy and golden and pulled to the side in a wild pony tail, and to Dan, she is still the most beautiful woman he has ever known. He greets her as he does every morning; he kisses her. His lips linger over her cheek, and he feels her smile softly under his touch, so he smiles against her skin as her arms gently wrap around his waist. A full hug; the ones teenagers dream about and become experts at giving, the ones that love and comfort and care silently but effectively. She was never one for meaningless hugs.
'Hi,' she whispers in his chest, and his hands smooth her hair as she pushes away from him slightly.
'Hi.' He grins, and her head leans to one side as she laughs slightly.
They're taking it slow, even if it feels like they've waited their entire lives for this stage. It means that they can wait a bit longer to make it perfect. Right.
She is broken, and tired, and weak, but kind of so is he. Slow is good for both of them.
-xoxo-
'S. You're paler than those horrible pyjamas you're wearing. Get out of this loft, only for a couple of hours. Flaunt your yummy mommy body, while you still have it. I can watch Sophia,' Blair instructs when she visits one day, and she is so insistent, Serena and Dan practically find themselves being dressed and kicked out by the brunette.
Neither of them yearns for the madness in Manhattan, and there is a soft crispiness about the air around them, so Dan holds her hand in his and they walk, intertwined fingers between them.
They stand underneath the Brooklyn bridge, their eyes resting over the skyline and the thick layer of ice on a river that never stops.
Serena leans her head on his shoulder. 'It feels like Christmas,' she mutters.
He laughs and kisses her hair. 'The cold, the quiet, the smell... It's like Christmas Eve, when you walk out of your house and it feels like you're under observation because it's so silent and peaceful and empty, and you know that everyone else is at home, with their families, preparing to celebrate Christmas the next day. And it's not even close to late, but it's still dark outside and snow falls like heavy drizzle around you and it all feels so... magical. It's one of the best feelings in the world.'
They're quiet for a minute, and she breathes everything in. Crispy and fragrant, it smells like her teenage years.
'Let's pretend,' he whispers, and she pushes away from his embrace, her hand resting thoughtlessly on his snugly covered chest.
'What?' she asks, eyes big and blue and weaker than they could be, but stronger than before.
'Let's pretend,' he repeats, a gentle smile playing with the corners of his lips. 'For a couple of minutes. Let's just pretend it's Christmas Eve. You didn't get a proper Christmas a couple of months ago.'
She laughs softly and snuggles back into his side, his arm tight around his shoulders, and her wrapped around his waist. 'Okay, let's. What would you like for Christmas, then?' she jokes, allowing her eyes to rest back on the city miles away from them. For a minute, the river seems like a barrier, like a separation from the city where so much drama existed at its best, and Brooklyn, their little haven of... them. Just them. It's always felt like a peaceful escape to her, the best place to heal. Not just herself; but themselves.
'You back.' His voice brings her back from her thoughts, and she brings quickly a few times, before lifting her chin and locking her gaze with his. 'I don't want us to go back to what we were. We've both changed and so much has happened; I want us to be better, more. I know we can. And it doesn't have to happen right now, but I hope one day it will.
I know I love you, Serena. And I'm prepared to do my large part for this relationship, work the hardest at it because I have the most to make up for, because I love you. I want an 'us' again.'
Tears pool at the bottom of her eyes, and she can't see him very well, but she can hear him, and everything he feels behind his soft words. She moves in front of him, her hands gripping onto the collar of his coat, and she can feel him, too, the heat of his body radiating overwhelmingly to her. She smiles as he places his hands carefully on her waist, as wary as he feels like he should be at that moment. That testing moment.
'There's always been some version of 'us'. Always,' she declares and for the first time in weeks, for the first time in longer than she wants to think about, she lifts her chin just so slightly, slowly, high enough for him to bend his head gently and touch his lips to hers. Her arms knot around his neck in no time.
-xoxo-
She walks around the nursery, a dim light in one corner of the room, and her baby girl on her chest, and she sings gently in the quiet of the night, trying to get her to sleep. Her feet make no noise against the floor, and the peaceful rhythm of the little human being's breathing is peaceful and perfect against hers. She smells... like a wonderful summer day and a lazy afternoon on the beach, and Serena presses a tender kiss to her small head, the thin strands of her soft hair brushing against her skin.
Serena places Sophia in her crib, and covers her with a blanket, leaving the door just slightly open as she walks in the living room. She sees him fight with a duvet cover, and giggles gently as she leans against the wall.
'Don't laugh. It's harder than it looks.' He flashes her a beautiful smile, and her heart increases in speed for a second. Sometimes she contemplates over the fact that she is too old to still react like this over a boy, but he's not just any boy. He's the exception to all of her rules.
'I think you should sleep in your own bed tonight,' she mutters, and Dan's head shoots up, his eyes finding hers almost instantly. Her hands extend before her, and in two strides, he knots his fingers with hers, lifting her knuckles to his lips.
Her back curves perfectly against his chest, and their legs intertwine, and his hands are flat on her stomach and her hands are flat on his. And it's like she's seventeen and they lie on a beach towel with sand in their toes, sun in their hair and summer in their blood. Intoxicated by each other. It's like she's in love again, but she knows she's kind of always been in love. With him.
-xoxo-
The sun is bright and beautiful in the middle of the sky, and there is a faint sound of murmurs and butterflies and love around her. It's a magical moment; almost surreal, and she's had her fair share of these moments. It's perfect.
There are delicate garlands of small, round red and white flowers hanging from the wooden framework, and the faded smell of the sea makes everything seem exotic, special, unique. Her hair is free around her shoulders, a refined headband of tiny flowers wound between strands of blonde. Her dress is long and flowing and it trails just slightly behind her, and she wears sandals, her feet flat against the ground. The most grounded she's ever been. The most real. This is it.
Chuck links his arm with hers, and she holds tightly to a bunch of wild lilies. Beautiful and free and precious. Dan's idea of her. She hears music start and people stand and from the corner of her eye she sees her daughter and her elegant red dress and a rain of white petals following her, as she runs down the long, straight, narrow bamboo raft. There is wind in her hair, and childhood in her eyes, and she reminds Serena a little of herself.
Her stepbrother kisses her cheek and ceremoniously places her hand in Dan's, and she can hear Lily's soft sobs somewhere to her left. He says 'I do', and looks in her eyes in that way, that 2007, brown stripy sheets, fire hazard kind of way, and she says it, too. And her life is complete.
A/N: The sad moment when I finish a story. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this, you guys have been incredible with your nice, encouraging words. I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint, and that you tell me whether you liked it or not in the last reviews. I want to mention Chiara, Beez, Shu and the rest of our wonderful DS family, who have made up the well oiled machine that has helped me write this story. This is for you guys. ENJOY AND REVIEW. Love you all :') 3