This chapter contains yaoi. If you hate yaoi, scroll down to the page (or press the down button if you're reading this on mobile).
Edit (September 6): School has just started and the chapters will be rolling out at a slower pace. Fortunately, I take Information Technology (computer class) and have access to Fanfiction during free time and breaks.
Bowser Jr's POV:
I woke up on a comfy couch in my father's dressing room. Oh yeah, I remembered. Ghirahim was showing me his moves and accidentally harmed me. He fled while Lucario picked me up and placed me on the couch. Anyway, I still have people to interview. In a pile is the applications numerous characters sent. Included was Zoroark's translated application. It was typed up instead of written because Lucario typed it up.
Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions
Your Character: Zoroark
Weapons (any): Dark Type moves
Armor (any): Fur
Your Abilities: Illusions
Your Achievements: I'm just a wild Pokémon with aura.
I walked to the stage with the application to see Zoroark and Lucario sitting on a leather couch.
"Hello Zoroark."
"Zoro." said the werewolf.
"It's saying that he's happy to be here." Lucario said. I thought of what original question I could ask the Illusion Fox Pokémon.
"Well thanks for applying for Super Smash Bros 4." I nodded. Zoroark whispered in Lucario's ears about something.
"It said that it was a Pokémon Contest winner once and its trainer wants it to compete in Super Smash Bros for fame." Lucario said while playing with aura.
"You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and thrown into a blender. The blades of the blender start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?" I said. I heard mumbles from the audience about what they would do while Lucario tried to explain the question to Zoroark. Zoroark replied to Lucario before the Aura Pokémon gave me its answer.
"It would try to use brute force until the blender glass tips over and escape from there." Lucario told me. He was still playing with the aura ball but he accidentally threw it at Zoroark. It deflected the ball at Lucario.
"Oof!" Lucario went. The ball of aura burnt patches of his fur, making him look like a cheetah or some spotted animal.
"Go put your application in the 'Possible' box." I instructed.
The Illusion Fox Pokémon teleported away, while I saw some other crew members carried the Aura Pokémon away. I took a nap, but a prepubescent voice woke me up.
"Bowser, I have someone who I'd like you to interview!" the voice called. I looked behind and saw Ness walk into the room with a girl his age. She has blue eyes, a fair complexion and curly golden blond hair worn long. The girl wore a dress made from pink fabric. It has a medium-length flared skirt and short puffy sleeves. It was with a white ribbon that acted like a belt. Pinned to the back of the girl's hair is a large red bow.
"This is Paula. She's my girlfriend."
"Wait; are you still mad because Jimmy called you and Lucas a homo?" I asked suspiciously.
"Who's Jimmy?" Ness questioned.
"He's an applicant who saw you and Lucas battle on TV. I've heard nasty rumors about what you did with Lucas." I mocked.
"Why would you do that Ness? I thought we were friends." Paula said.
"It's a misunderstanding…And Bowser, I didn't do anything to him." Ness stammered.
"Bowser Jr was right!" Ganondorf chuckled while walking into the room with a projector and laptop. He got it set up, went on YouTube, typed in "ness kissed lucas" and several videos of the scandal showed on the search results. The ones on the first page were responses by big breasted reply girls and other comments by celebrities. "There it is!" the Gerudo said. He clicked a link called "MY PET DEKU SCRUB" by RoyWilliamJohnson.
"Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. This song doesn't rhyme. But no one cares." Roy sang. His orange flame-like hair made all the girls fangirl while the boys had hatred in their eyes. Ganondorf allowed the viewers to watch the first two videos, which was a video of a person feeding a Deku Scrub. After that, Roy commented over a video of Red screaming while playing a FPS game.
"Alright guys, here's the last video. It's this make out video between two popular Smashers, Ness Onett and Lucas Itoi." Roy said. "This video got 1 million views in less than 3 days." A counter rolling up to 1 million appeared over Roy's head.
"So there's this team battle between Ness and Lucas versus Snake and Captain Falcon." Roy commented.
A Smash Ball appeared on the stage and the contestants were flocking to it. Ness managed to hit the ball with his wooden baseball bat and do the Final Smash.
"PK….STARSTORM!" the physic kid yelled. Meteors appeared on the stage, knocking out Snake and Captain Falcon."
"And do you want to know what happens next?" Roy asked the viewers sarcastically. The scene cuts to the victory scene where Ness and Lucas got congratulated. Ness faced Lucas to say something.
"Lucas…do you love me?" Ness said meekly in the video. Lucas's face head lowered shyly, making the viewers assumes he had a secret to tell. Ness repeated those five words, but Lucas still didn't listen. Ness simply repeated those words louder.
"…" Lucas was playing with his tiny fingers. Ness kissed the blond boy on the cheeks, which Lucas quickly reacted too. "I love you Ness." Lucas announced loud. He pulled Ness's face towards him while closing his eyes, both lips molded together, perfectly.
"GAY ALERT, GAY ALERT!" Roy yelled. He was back in the reviewing room. "If any of you were disturbed by this video, you don't seem to mind if I play it again?"
Roy played the kissing scene again, but the video also showed a bonus scene. It focused on a candy in Lucas's mouth while the two were French kissing. It was a flame red hard candy, so it may have been cherry, strawberry or raspberry.
"Tasty." Ness moaned.
"There's also something hidden in the video, but it's only seen in the eyes of a careful watcher or a *bleep* pervert. I can't show it because it violates YouTube's guidelines, but try if you can find it." Roy laughed. "Thank you for watching this and see you next episode." Ganondorf closed the laptop, took down the makeshift theater and went backstage. I noticed Paula sobbing and her face looked all red. This gave me a guilt trip and I felt sorry for the poor girl.
"We can do something about it." Ness bargained as he attempted to hold Paula's hand. But Paula didn't listen.
"YEAH, BUT YOU'RE STILL GAY!" Roy hollered from backstage (he worked part-time here when not reviewing videos)
"Shut up Roy." Ness snapped.
"It's over." Paula said sadly.
"Ness, you're upstaging her. Please leave." I told the physic kid.
"OK." Ness nodded. He walked backstage, sadly. I talked to Paula.
"When you have calmed down, we can start the interview." I said while I gave her a tissue. I looked at the application that I received from Toadette. The handwriting is in pencil, but in cursive writing.
Super Smash Bros Character Auditions:
Your Character: Paula Polestar
Weapons (your best): Holy Fry Pan
Armor (your best): Goddess Band, Goddess Ribbon, Lucky Coin, Star Pendant
Your Abilities: PSI Magic (Freeze, Fire, Thunder, Magnet, Shield)
Your Accomplishments: Saved the world from Giygas
What game are you in? Earthbound/Mother 2 (SNES), Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance, cameo)
"Hey I know you!" I exclaimed. "You were the one who taught Ness how to use PK Fire, Thunder and Magnet!"
"That's me! On a regular night, Ness rang the doorbell looking all panicky. He was scared that he didn't have good moves for Super Smash Bros, so I taught him some of my moves." Paula replied
"Did you teach him PK Starstom?" I asked.
"No, that was Poo." When Paula said it, I noticed the preteen and teenage boys burst into laughter.
"She said Poo, what a comedy genius!" Hilbert cracked up. They're so immature, laughing at childish jokes related to sexuality, bodily functions, or private parts.
"Grow up!" Paula hollered at the audience.
"So, I'll place your application in the box." I said to Paula. I placed the application in the Possible box. We were about to wrap up the interview when a giant stage light fell on me and Paula.
"Sorry!" Iggy called. "I was just changing the lights!"
"Iggy, change the lights when we're on commercial…" I collapsed from the intense pressure on my body, while Paula collapsed a few seconds later.
Ganondorf's POV:
I walked back in to check on Bowser Jr, but I saw a giant stage light covering two pairs of hands. I lifted it and moved it in front of the backstage. Underneath the light was Bowser Jr and some girl crushed by the weight of the light.
"Morton! Larry!" I called. Morton and Larry (the Koopaling) walked in. "Please carry those two kids backstage!" Morton dragged Bowser Jr backstage, while Larry lifted the girl and carried her like a fireman. After that, Lucas and a tall man dressed as a cowboy with a 2x4 entered the room.
"Dad, why do I have to go with you? I'm not required here!" Lucas cried. The man ignored Lucas and dragged him into the room.
"You didn't send an application." I said. I continued to go on about the policies, when the cowboy cupped my mouth.
"The mushroom woman told me to bring my application here." he said. He handed me his application. I noticed that he filled the blank spaces with a black pen. The pressure made ridges on the back of the paper.
Super Smash Bros Character Auditions:
Your Character: Flint
Weapons (your best): Fresh Lumber
Armor (your best): Ordinary Hat, Chick Bandana, Aquarius Bracelet
Your Abilities: Brute Force
Your Accomplishments: Defeated a dragon with a piece of lumber, father of Lucas
What game are you from?: Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance, originally for Nintendo 64)
I don't know what a brute force is, but it sounds really godly. "Tell me more about that Brute Force." I said.
"It's something I get instead of those PSI stuff like my son or that Ness kid. It's why I'm strong like you!" Flint chuckled. I felt bad for Lucas because his father forced him to come here. He looked bored and I heard murmur smack about his father.
"Here you go Lucas." I handed him the black 3DS that I took, I mean borrowed from Link.
"Yay!" Lucas took the 3DS and started playing with it.
"Back to you Flint..." A teenage voice interrupted us.
"I'm sorry Flint, but you don't have what it takes to be a smasher." We looked back to see Larry, Link's obnoxious rejected brother. "What?" he asked rudely.
"Bowser told you, we are not putting you in the game." I yelled. Larry stood up.
"This is still bullshit. Link gets all the celebrity status, and what do I get? Oh, a script writer for Nintendo, really exciting. He doesn't have any talent or powers except for that silly triangle on his hand. What does he have? A petty sword, a small shield and multiple pieces of equipment. Yeah, really cool for some little elf boy like him. That's not fair…." Larry whined as he went on. "And the wife of the man you're interviewing is stupid enough to get killed. She could have taken the kids and run off….." Larry complained. I do hate Link, but he's more annoying than that green ChuChu summoned by that racist princess (She hates Gerudos like me). I cracked my knuckles to do something, but someone grabbed my hand.
"Let me take care of him." he offered. The cowboy picked up his 2x4, snuck up behind Larry and swung the lumber.
"TWACK!" Flint whacked him right in the head, knocking him out. I was about to ask another question when my troll sense tingled, as a malicious grin formed in my mouth. "Um Ganon, are you OK?" the cowboy asked concernedly.
"Oh yeah. You know how you brought the old man to defeat the dragon?" I asked maliciously.
"Uh..yes." Flint stammered.
"Did you use the old man as dragon bait?" I snorted. The crowd howled with laughter. I even saw Lucas giggle as he played the 3DS I let him use.
"Yeah dad, did you?" Lucas chortled sarcastically, before continuing his game. Flint's face turned red and snatched the 3DS from Lucas, tearing the two screens apart. He placed the broken 3DS on the ground, and stomped on it. I don't know what to say to Link about it.
Link's POV (at home):
Marth, Pit, Ike, Ness and I were still in the games room. I didn't have my DS, so I felt like watching a little TV. I turned it on and I noticed something shocking about the fate of my DS. Ganondorf took my DS without asking and let Lucas play with it. Worst of all, his father broke my DS into pieces. I sat there in front of the TV with my mouth wide open.
"Wh…what? Ganondorf took my DS?" I said while crying.
"What's the matter Link? Man up already!" Ike called.
"How can I if that cowboy broke my DS in front of everyone watching? That was a limited edition DS!" I sobbed.
"Don't worry, we're here for you. We'll report him for theft." Marth tried to calm me.
Ganondorf's POV:
"This isn't funny Lucas and that's really disrespectful to your grandfather. I'm also ashamed about what you did with that Ness kid too." he said angrily. He pounded his lumber on the floor, making a huge whacking sound, before walking towards me.
"Try and fight me, you can't defeat me due to my Triforce of Power!" I laughed. He ignored me and hit me on the head. Oh wait, that gloved hand forced Link, Zelda and I deposit our Triforce pieces into a vault. He claimed that we were too overpowered with those and we need "dramatic nerfs".
"Ganondorf." he said while whacking me on the head. "This…is….not…funny!" he screamed. Between each word, Flint whacked me once on the body. When he got to the "funny" part, he did a Power Smash on me and knocked me out. At the same time, Bowser walked in, surprised by what Flint did. The cowboy started talking to the Koopa.
"Ouch." I moaned.
Flint's POV:
I'm really embarrassed by what Lucas done. First he made out with a guy and now he and Ganondorf insulted me? I'm taking him back to Tazmily until they announce the next season.
I looked around and saw blank stares. There was a red box with the possible applicants, so I placed my application in the bin and grabbed Lucas's hand.
"We're going home." I told Lucas. We looked at the floor and saw Ganondorf and Larry still moaning in pain. "That's what they get if they messed with me." I said to Lucas. Before we could leave, Bowser walked on the stage, noticing the knocked out bodies. Think Flint, what could you do to prevent yourself from getting rejected? I know, I'll simply apologize to him.
Bowser's POV:
I was still relaxing on the couch backstage, a few hours after they released me from the hospital. My daughter, Wendy walked into the room.
"Bowser, there'a a man injuring your friend!" Wendy yelled. She pulled my hand and escorted me to the stage. The scene looked surprising. An angry cowboy was swinging his lumber like mad. On the floor were Ganondorf and Larry.
"This is embarrassing. I'm really sorry for what happened. I've overreacted like that ever since my wife died." the cowboy said. Roy walked in with his video camera.
"Yeah, but I'm still putting that on my show." Roy said while showing the cowboy his video camera with the incident playing. He grabbed the camera from Roy, smashed it and stabbed the lumber into the ex-Smasher's body.
"I was just joking!" Roy cried as he fell to the floor.
"Lucas, we're going home until the next tournament begins." the man said to Lucas.
"What about Claus?" I asked, while pointing towards him.
"He can stay." the cowboy replied. "I'll take Lucas back to the hotel." He left the stage with Lucas, while Claus sat down and opened a can of soda. I looked at my watch. There was a minute left, not enough time to interview Claus.
"This wraps our show. We'll interview Claus, two more Mother characters and some other 3rd party characters. I've got some calls from some of our fans about Sora, so we may bring him in next episode."
"This episode is brought to you by:" said a female voice.
A commercial played showing some bored kids eating their lame lunches. Suddenly, Captain Falcon appeared from nowhere.
"FALCON….LUNCH!" He showed the viewers a premade lunch combination package showing cheese, crusts, and sauce. It was possibly a pizza lunch combination. Anyway, he handed the kids the lunch kits as they wolfed it in joy.
"YAY!" cheered the kids.
"Captain Falcon's Falcon Lunch! A healthy lunch kit for your children!" the male voice said.
So there's part 1! I got the Ask Mishieru thing set up (askmishieru) on Tumblr, so you can submit character requests and any personal questions you have about me or my fanfictions.