Ganondorf's POV:
I took a break after the interviews, so I went to a table and started to eat a bologna sandwich, while patting my bandaged head (Screw you Flint!). My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I checked it. It's a text. From Morton, one of the stage employees.
"Ganondork, while you were taking a break, an interviewee and a friend have been called to the stage. I already got them seated and I'm keeping them entertained. Hurry Ganon, the audience members are starting to leave!"
I dropped my sandwich and ran to the stage. I fell down due to the heavy armor, but I managed to run there. When I got back to the stage, I saw a young man in boxing gear, and a black guy in a track suit (Black? You don't like black? That's racist!).
"One, two, one two." said the coach. The boxer was throwing punches in the air, like if there was an invisible opponent standing there. The coach and the boxer looked at us. While the boxer continued to throw punches in mid-air, the coach gave me an application.
"I'm Doc. Louis, Little Mac's coach and representative. I'm here to upgrade his role from an Assist Trophy to a fully fledged fighter." the coach smiled. I glanced at the application before placing it on the table.
Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions
Your Character: Little Mac
Weapons (best): Boxing Gloves
Armor (best): Boxing gear
Your Abilities: Star Punch
Your Accomplishments: Champion in multiple boxing tournaments
What game are you from? Punch-Out! featuring Mr. Dream (NES), Super Punch-Out! (SNES), Punch-Out! (Wii), Super Smash Bros: Brawl (Wii)
"Tell me more about why you want to upgrade your role to a playable fighter." I sighed.
"I need more training for tournaments. Being an Assist Trophy and punching random Smashers won't cut it." the short boxer said before dozing off.
"You can sleep after we're done." yelled the coach. Little Mac woke up before shaking his head.
"I…" The coach gave Little Mac a cup of coffee left on the table before waiting for him to continue.
"Drink that and you'll stay awake until we're done. Then you can sleep." the coach instructed.
"What's a Star Punch?" I shrugged at the application.
"It's my special move that's invented by my Coach, Doc Louis." continued Little Mac while he drank his coffee. He collapsed after a few seconds.
"I BLAME LARRY!" Link called from backstage. Several minutes later, several paramedics lifted Little Mac on a stretcher and left the stage. Tingle, another interviewee walked in. Everyone reacted negatively to his appearance and personality.
"Tingle, Tingle, Kooloo-Limpah!" The green bean jumped up in the air.
"Creep!" a girl responded
"Hey gayfag, I did your mom!" yelled some preteen kid with a Call of Duty shirt (Seriously, what are kids this generation playing? Possibly Call of Duty and Skyrim instead of Mario and Zelda.).
"Daddy!" cried a small girl.
"You suck. Nathan Drake makes a better Super Smash Bros character." some Sonyfag called.
And then some weird guy in a diving suit jumped on the stage. He stabbed Tingle in the stomach with his drill, before that green elf dropped a hammer (handle side up) on the two of them, killing both at the same time. I pushed the Easy Button, and the stage reverted before the Big Daddy incident
"NEXT!" I called. Young Link walked on the stage, dropping a backpack near the couch.
"So Young Link, you're here to get back on the roster?" I cringed at the sight of Young Link. I still hate him ever since he stole my DCMC figurines, but I don't want a reprimanding by Bowser.
"That's right Ganny! I'm going to return back to Super Smash Bros." Young Link raised his Kokiri sword in the air. Now where did I place that application? Oh there, I was stepping on it. Even though it has a boot print on it, I can still see it.
Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions
Your Character: Young Link/Majora's Mask Link
Weapons (best): Gilded Sword, Fierce Deity Mask, bow/arrow (Fire, Ice, Light), various masks
Armor (best): Deku Shield, Bunny Hood
Your Abilities: Arsenal of equipment, transformations
Your Accomplishments: Hero of Time, Saved the world from a moon, freed the Four Giants,
What game are you from? The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Nintendo 64, Wii, Nintendo 3DS), The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (Nintendo 64, Wii), The Legend of Zelda: Collector's Edition (Gamecube), Super Smash Bros: Melee (Gamecube)
"Why do you want to return back to Super Smash Bros?" I grumbled.
"I want to rejoin because I want to prove to the fans that I'm not just a measly clone. I gave my move sets a makeover during the Brawl Season and I'm…." Young Link yapped on and on.
"You can stop there." I said. Young Link gave me a piece of paper.
B Move: Fire Arrows
Down Move: Goron Roll
Side Special: Zora Fins
Up Special: Deku Flower
"Why isn't there a Final Smash?" I questioned. "I hope it isn't that lame-ass Triforce Slash that your other two doppelgangers have."
"I simply put on my Fierce Deity Mask!" Young Link said in a Navi-type tone. He put it on and transformed into Fierce Deity Link. He swung his sword like crazy and a sword beam came flying at me.
"BOOM, HEADSHOT!" Young Link took off his mask, and placed his application into the box. He played an ocarina song and warped off.
Lemmy's POV:
I'm chillin' with my siblin's backstage. Kumatora, a stage manager ran to me.
"Lemmy, Ganondorf got knocked out!" she said panicky.
"Let me get my…" Kumatora interrupted me before I could say anything.
"You must go now!" She dragged me to the stage, where I saw Paper Mario. A 2D man in a 3D world, just like Mr. Game and Watch.
"It's-a me, Mario!" he cried. I unfolded the application folded into a paper airplane.
Super Smash Bros Character Auditions
Your Character: Paper Mario
Weapons (your best): Ultra Hammer, Ultra Boots, various Pixls, Special Moves (Star Sprites and Crystal Stars)
Armor (your best): Various badges
Your Abilities: Can switch between 2D and 3D mode, paper modes (Plane, Boat, Tube, Paper)
Your Achievements: Rescued Peach, Defeated an evil queen, slayed three dragons, Glitz Pit chamption, prevented the world from being destroyed,
What game are you from? Paper Mario (Nintendo 64, Virtual Console), Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (Gamecube), Super Paper Mario (Wii), Paper Mario: Sticker Stars (Nintendo 3DS)
"So, what's your main reason to join the cast of Super Smash Bros?" I said in a cheerful voice.
"Your voice sounds-a cheerful than usual, but I joined to promote my latest game." Paper Mario twirled his hammer in the air.
"And what's that?" I lived under a rock for a while, so I hardly heard about the latest video game news.
"It's-a Paper Mario Sticker Stars!" the flat plumber beamed.
"You have any exclusive skills from the game?"
"I use those stickers." Paper Mario said in his usual Italian Accent. He gave me a sheet of various stickers. I placed them in my (invisible) pocket, before continuing. I noticed a party-hat-wearing ghost creep up behind Paper Mario.
"Boo." the ghost said. It startled Mario, before the flat plumber jumped out of the couch. It transformed into Paper Mario, turning the real Paper Mario into a shadowy version of him.
"Give me back my identity!" Paper Mario yelled while he chased the ghost out of the stage. I tossed the application into the bin and looked at my watch. Seems that my shift's over now. Guess I can go out to play with my siblings. I exited the stage and took the bus home.
Snake's POV:
Master Hand kept me on watch to see if Link's brother tries to trespass on stage again.
"Lemmy disappeared. Can you take over?" a girl asked. She has neon pink hair and wore a long hooded sweatshirt.
"But I'm…" I got cut off by the girl.
"Please?" she begged.
"Fine." I stormed into the stage and sat down.
Knuckles walked into the stage, making the crowd cheer. He sat down on a couch, before taking an orange and peeling it.
"Knuckles? I thought Bob Sega blackmailed you into cancelling your interview!" I questioned.
"Sonic and some of my co-workers blogged about the incident, and it ticked off the fans. They weren't happy about that, so they sent multiple petitions and messages to Sega. My boss surrendered, and he said that I can audition for Super Smash Bros. He feared that if he still didn't let me join Super Smash Bros, then profits could go down." Knuckles sucked on an orange seed before spitting it out to the audience. Several of his fans fought it, trying to get a piece of Knuckles swag.
"Sorry if I didn't tell you that, but they made that decision at the last-minute." apologized Knuckles. He plucked some grapes from a vine and chewed on it. While he was chewing on the grapes, he gave me his application.
Super Smash Bros 4 Character Auditions
Your Character: Knuckles
Weapons (best): Chaos Emeralds, claws
Armor (best): A pair of shoes
Your Abilities: Superhuman Strength, super speed, gliding, digging…
Your Achievements:
What game are you from? Sonic the Hedgehog series (Sega Game Gear, Master System, Sega CD, 32x, Mega Drive, Saturn, Dreamcast, Gamecube, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, Wii, Playstation Network, Xbox Live, iOS, Android, Blackberry, Nintendo 3DS, Playstation Vita, Playstation 3, Wii U, PC)
"Why did you just say that you're from the Sonic the Hedgehog series instead of listing what games you're in?" I looked at the application suspiciously.
"Games. Too much games." the red echidna grumbled. "The role of Knuckles have been by two people, me and my dad. My real name is a secret, but Sega asked me to play as my dad when he died from a car accident."
"Ah, I see. Your company seeing you as a potential." I was about to ask him another question, when a hooded assassin jumped to the stage. He wasn't that Connor guy from that one Wii U game about killing people, but he had a similar outfit to him. The only difference was that he was wearing a robe instead of a coat. I think I remember his name. I think it was Altair.
"Hello Snake, or should I say, David." the assassin said coldly.
"Um, are you ok, Altair? Your voice sounds a little husky." I grumbled.
"It's Ezio, cretino!" the assassin yelled at me.
"Can you see I'm trying to interview someone?" I lashed at the Italian assassin. Knuckles looked at us, confused.
"Well, why did Nintendo choose Altair and Connor as potential candidates for the fourth tournament, but not me? It's ironic that they chose you for Brawl, despite being a Konami character." continued Ezio.
"Simple. I have a game for several Nintendo consoles and handhelds, Kojima and Sakurai are good friends, and your game came out almost two years after Nintendo released Super Smash Bros Brawl." I grumbled.
"Just because I didn't appear on a Nintendo console doesn't mean that I'm not eligible in Smash Bros 4."
"Don't worry David Hayter, I'll give you a chance. Let me join Super Smash Bros 4!" Ezio demanded like a small child.
"I'm not responsible for things like that!" I cried.
"I've hidden the truth from you but, how are your friends these days?"
"What do you mean by…"
"Does this remind you of anything?" Ezio questioned before tossing me a metal gun. I caught it and analyzed it. It was Samus's Paralyser, the one she used when I tried to ask her out several times. I know she hates me, but she's the woman of my type next to Mei Ling.
"Where did you get this?!" I screamed.
"I took that when I kidnapped your girlfriend." answered Ezio.
"Why, why are you doing this? Tell me!" I demanded.
"You rage like a little three-year old, but I'll tell you, Snake. Just tell Master Hand to let me join Super Smash Bros, or you can say arrivederci to your girlfriend." Ezio said maliciously, his lips barely moving. Luckily, I planted hidden mines around the stage in case Link's brother trespassed here. I pulled out my remote control.
"If you kill me, then you won't know where I took Samus too." Ezio warned.
"NOW!" I pressed the button on the remote control, and the mines exploded. At the last-minute, Ezio disappeared. His evil laughter filled the room.
"I supposed you chose death for your poor girlfriend." Ezio laughed. "I'll tell her that!"
"I'll find her myself!" I yelled.
"Um, Snake, is the interview over?" Knuckles questioned.
"It is."
Meanwhile back at the mansion (Lucas's POV):
I applied some masking tape to a cardboard box. I'm leaving my stuff in Master Hand's storage room, until I return back. Even though I don't make it, I can ask Ness to mail it back to me. My dad, Claus, and I are returning to Tazmily until Master Hand announce the fourth season. The plane leaves in 2 weeks, so there's plenty of time to pack up. There wasn't anything to do, so I opened my laptop so I can blog about my last moments in Smash Mansion. Maybe if I have time, I could play an online game or go on Facebook and see what everyone's up to. Ness rushed into my room, looking all excited.
"Hey Lucas, did you see this funny incident on Bowser's Interviews?" Ness said in a hyper voice.
"If it's the one about Larry, then yes." I sighed.
"Nope, it's the one about your dad!" my physic friend beamed. He pushed my hands away from the keyboard, went on YouTube, and clicked on Roy William Johnson's channel. Ness then clicked on a video called "LEAVE BIDOOF ALONE!". Roy did the usual thing of commenting on videos that are "funny". He reviewed that one video about Fuel complaining about all the Justine Bidoof and Selena Goron haters, and a video of Fox failing to do a barrel roll.
"Now the final video I'm going to show you is a rage video. It's the Holy Grail of the fighting videos; it's the Master Sword of YouTube, the needle in a…never mind." Roy announced. "I attempted to get some footage of the video, but either they stole my recording equipment, or I got ambushed while filming. Luckily, a user named 'TehSean' submitted it to me. He was in the audience while he filmed it with his phone."
Roy pointed at a picture of a boy that looks like me. I thought it was fan art, until I looked at the text at the bottom. It said "White Flower" and some unreadable text. Guess it was a coincidence.
It's this video of Flint Lockwood, father of Lucas Lockwood beating the crap out of random people on stage after being provoked by Sora."
"That's the man who used his father-in-law as dragon bait! I saw it all on TV!" Sora laughed while pointing at Flint.
"I did not!" Flint yelled. Flint walked over to a piece of lumber, picked it up, and wielded it like a sword
"Now I'm going act like Lucas, and use physic powers to know what happens. This is going to hurt." Roy commented.
Flint then proceeded to attack Bowser, Ganondorf, Sora, Apple Kid, Orange Kid, and Jeff, using his new weapon.
"Oh hohoho, one of the future child molesters in Ameri-I mean Nintendoland." laughed Roy.
The video played in slow motion, with Flint attacking Jeff with his 2x4.
"And then some dragon boy warps right in and whacks him right in the head. I wish Angelic Burster attacked Flint with her moe moe kawaii moves. Then everyone will laugh at him because he got owned by a little girl."
Kaiser warps on the stage, and hits Flint in the head with a giant sword.
"The original video received 25 million views in less than 6 hours; I think YouTube's view counter broke from all those views." Roy concluded. I closed the window, tired of this stupidity. I don't mind if it happened to an adult, but I don't think harming children is right. I'm still lucky that Dad didn't do that to Claus and me.
"Screw it, I'm changing my name." I complained.
"Why?" Ness wailed. "I like your name."
"I think that's why I've been bombarded by journalists in the city. My dad's ruining my reputation." I sighed.
1 week later:
I got my suitcase packed, and I'm ready to leave. I've had back pains, due to a lack of a mattress (I borrowed Snake's sleeping bag to use instead) and I'm having headaches. Maybe it was from the worries of leaving my friends. The door knocked, and Ness walked in.
"This was from the government." Ness announced. He gave me an envelope before walking out. I opened the envelope rapidly, and pulled out a certificate.
Previous Name: Lucas Lockwood
New Name: Lucas Itoi
Place of Residence: Smashville, Nintendoland
Registration date: September 22, 2012
"May I see it?" Ness asked. I handed him my name change certificate. "Why Itoi? Can't you just change it to Freeze?" asked Ness.
"It was originally Ito, but they mistook it as 'Itoi'. And who would have a last name called 'Freeze'? It's going to cause more controversy like why I have blond hair, while my parents are brunettes." I replied. "I got permission from Master Hand, because he takes care of us, and I'm not going to change it again because it's going to piss the government."
"Hope your dad doesn't force you to change it back." Ness smiled. "Want to go to the cinema? I heard The Smasher Games is playing now!" he offered.
"Alright! Let's go!" I cheered. I placed the certificate into my suitcase before catching up with Ness.
TehSean and Fuel are from Twitter and Mother 3, respectively.
Snake's confrontation with Ezio is partially based on SummerAmore's The Star's Tears (8-2)
Knuckles being played by two different echidnas is a headcanon.
Cretino = Dumbass in Italian
Arrivederci = Goodbye in Italian
Next chapter: One of the Smashers finds a leaked recruiting letter in the trash bin.