2
Loki turned around at the thud of Darcy's mug hitting the floor. It seemed he was waiting for her to speak first, so she did.
"Loki! What the hell?" She wasn't entirely sure what she was asking about. There was the fact that he had not, after all, left. There was the fact that he was in herliving room. There was the fact that he was sitting on her sofa. And there was the fact that he seemed perfectly comfortable in his new space. Her space.
He raised an eyebrow. "You are going to have to be more specific, Ms. Lewis. I'm afraid I can't be sure what it is you want me to explain."
She wondered what was up with the eyebrow thing. He seemed to do that a lot.
"What? And stop calling me 'Ms. Lewis,' it makes me sound old. My name is Darcy."
It took a moment for her to register the implication of what she had just said. The instant she did, she had a sudden urge to bang her head on a table. Hard. Just now she had asked Loki, the guy who had tried (however unsuccessfully) to take over the world, to call her Darcy. She was on a first name basis with crazy. Great.
His lips curled up ever so slightly into a smirk. "Well then Darcy, would you care to be more specific?"
She cursed herself under her breath. He could probably still hear her, but yelling at herself when there were other people around usually earned her an uneasy glance or two. And she needed to say something. Darcy was not the kind of person to let idiocy go by unmentioned. Even if it was her idiocy.
"Okay, fine, I will try this again. Why are you still here?" Deciding it couldn't hurt to be even more specific, she continued, "In my living room? On my sofa?"
"You asked me to leave your washroom, and I did. You shouldn't be surprised to know I am still bored." He considered her briefly. "It seemed the furnishings of this particular room would provide the most comfort, and I do, in fact, find your sofa agreeable." He sounded perfectly pleasant, as if she had invited him into her home and he was playing the role of the respectful guest, complimenting her meager apartment.
Nope.
This was not happening.
She was not having a conversation with Loki.
Darcy thought for a moment. He did say he was bored. Maybe if she just ignored him he'd find something more interesting to do. Somewhere else. She reached down to pick up the mug, inspected it for damage, found none, and continued her journey to the kitchenette. She turned on the sink, running the water over the mug before wiping it dry and returning it to the appropriate (and precariously overstuffed) cabinet. Remembering the cookies she had promised herself, she removed the lid from her cookie jar and reached in. There were no cookies.
Fucking Loki.
Dr. Selvig had once explained to her how in the old Norse myths Loki was known as the God of Mischief and Lies. Until today she had considered the mischief part a massive understatement. Loki didn't do mischievous things; he did megalomaniacal and very homicidal things. Things that should very well have earned him the name God of Death and General Destruction Perpetrated for Entirely Selfish and Poorly Thought Out Reasons. It was a bit awkward, but infinitely more accurate. Now the mischief part wasn't any less of an understatement, but Darcy was starting to see that Loki did have a hint of the trickster. He was being just a little bit mischievous today. Except for the part where he showed up in her bathroom while she was not wearing clothes. She wasn't really sure what he was being then. She decided not to think about it.
Confronting Loki about the cookies was unlikely to get her anywhere, so she stuck to her plan and pretended he wasn't there. Deciding this would be easier if she was just a little bit inebriated she opened the fridge, expecting to find the bottom shelf of the door stocked with beer bottles. Not only were they gone; the entire fridge was empty. Totally clean and spotless, but empty. She checked the freezer. Her ice cream and frozen treats had vanished, along with those microwave meals for when she was too lazy to cook. The ice cube trays were still full, but that wasn't exactly reassuring. So she scanned the cabinets where she stored the rest of her sustenance. No luck. Darcy sighed, turning to her last resort.
Jane had gotten her a bottle of fancy wine for her last birthday. Not anything super expensive, but the good stuff, the stuff you didn't just buy on a whim. She was saving it for some sort of special occasion, not that she had any idea what that would be. Darcy didn't really have special occasions. Or company. Except for Loki, but he wasn't invited so he didn't count. She realized the bottle would probably be gone, but hoped against hope that it was still hiding in the back of the utensil drawer. She really needed a distraction.
Nothing.
She spent a moment cursing Loki out in her head for being such a goddamn selfish son of a bitch. (She did kind of care if he heard her cursing him out). Darcy knew she couldn't get the anger completely out of her system until she managed to taser the bastard, or at least give him a roundhouse kick to the face. Of course she quickly remembered that even if he was serving his sentence on Asgard (though somehow simultaneously sitting on her sofa) he was not the sort of person you wanted to piss off. She convinced herself she was better off without the wine anyway. Even being just a little bit tipsy in the presence of a guy known as the God of Mischief was probably not in her best interest.
She sat down and stared at her fridge. Now Darcy was bored. There were no cookies for eating, no alcohol for drinking, and all of her books (and iPod) were in the living room. With Loki. And she was still ignoring him.
For some reason she wasn't scared of Loki, just really ticked off. One day he gets bored and just up and decides to break the laws of physics, intrude in her private space, refuse to leave her alone, and steal all her food? In the back of her mind she added the parts where he had tried to kill Thor (and by extension her and Jane) and destroyed most of New York City, causing the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians in the process.
Yet in that instant the mass destruction paled in comparison to the fact that he was being such a little bitch. Why the hell did he decide to bug her in the first place? They'd never actually been introduced, though he had surely known who she was since New Mexico. But she figured Loki hadn't really met any people on Earth. The Avengers and a few select members of SHIELD, yes, but those interactions had mostly consisted of them trying to kill each other. Although knowing what she knew about Loki, she suspected he would actually enjoy someone trying to kill him. It would break up the tedium.
Of course Darcy was almost entirely positive that Loki wasn't supposed to be on this planet (or anywhere that wasn't Asgard) in the first place. If any members of SHIELD or the Avengers found out he was here, they would tell Thor. Or maybe that Heimdall guy. Whatever Loki's punishment was now, it could probably get worse. And someone would make sure he couldn't be in two places at once. Then what would he do when he got bored?
But she could still tell on him. Darcy still worked for Jane, who sometimes sort of worked with SHIELD, not to mention the whole dating Thor thing. And she didn't doubt Loki knew she could go to anyone at any time. So why was he risking it?
Her stomach rumbled. Damn. Being mad always made her hungry, and Loki was doing an excellent job of making her mad. She wondered if he knew that, if he'd planned for this; stealing all her food just so she would get mad and need that food and be forced to speak to him.
Well if that's what he was doing, it was working. She was hungry, and this sudden lack of edible goodies was not pleasing. Ignoring Loki might make him go away, but this was kind of important. She wasn't paid so much that she could simply restock her fridge every time some homicidal creep made everything in there cease to exist.
So she took a deep breath and re-entered her living room.
Loki was gone.
Author Note: The only reason I'm updating within a day is because I already had this written out with the first chapter. But I wanted to space out the updates just a little bit, and figured I could proofread better if I took some time off from writing this. I may have spent over an hour tweaking this just now. There are just too many words that exist, and word choice is hard. I try to avoid repeating the same word over and over again (unless that's the effect I'm going for) and sometimes it takes multiple tries to get the phrasing so it flows nicely. Also, do not expect my next chapter this soon. I've only got one paragraph down right now, and I actually do have other things occupying my time. But it should be less than a week. Oh, and thanks for all the favorites and follows and reviews! (Current count because I'm stupidly proud of myself: 14 Follows, 8 Favorites, 5 Reviews)