I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did, a lot of things would have gone differently and the Akatsuki would still be alive. Anyway, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Deidara groaned weakly, his throat hurt, his head hurt, his body hurt; his arms were aching, he felt much too hot, and to cap it all, he was surrounded by idiots who were intent on driving him completely insane with their moronic antics. Tobi, having somehow sensed, as he always did, when Deidara least wanted him around, had come skipping into his room without knocking and proceeded to irriate his senpai by fussing over the obviously ill Iwagakure ninja.

Zetsu, meanwhile, was arguing with himself about how best to deal with Deidara despite the blonde's constant threats that Tobi and the plant-man would be blown up with his C4 bombs if they didn't leave his room within the next thirty seconds.

'Go awaaaaaay!' Deidara moaned, burrying his head under his pillow.

'I know what to do!' Tobi said happily, apparently not hearing Deidara, 'I'll look after senpai all day. I'll bring him drinks and take his temperature and get him medicine and-'

Deidara pulled his head out from under the pillow, snatched his clay pouch from beside the bed, and, coughing dryly, gabbed a handful of the detonating substance.

'I'm serious,' Deidara croaked, the mouth on his left hand chewing up the clay. 'Get out of my room, right now, or I'll blow you both to Hell, hmn!'

'Uwaah! Zetsu-san, Deidara-senpai's scary!' Tobi wailed, running out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

'Same goes for you, Zetsu,' Deidara warned, beginning to mould his clay into a spider.

'Well, it seems being ill doesn't improve your temper at all, Deidara,' Zetsu sighed.

'Just leave him,' Black Zetsu muttered, darkly. 'If he doesn't want any help, don't bother giving him any.'

'Exactly, now go,' Deidara said, holding up the spider threateningly.

'Alright, alright, I'm going.'

As Zetsu followed Tobi, Deidara sank back onto his pillow, coughing and wishing that he hadn't strained his throat so much. He wished that Sasori was here to keep him company, by now their argument of yesterday would have been forgotten and Sasori would probably be much better at dealing with the sickly Deidara than the two annoying idiots who had only managed to make him feel even worse.

After about five minutes of staring up at the ceiling, Deidara was finding it impossible to relax and fall asleep despite his fatigue, thanks to Tobi and Zetsu. He was just thinking up many different ways to bomb the living daylights out of them when someone knocked on his door and a voice called out, 'Deidara, can I come in?'

Recognizing the voice as Kisame's, Deidara grunted affirmatively in reply. The door opened and the Kirigakure shinobi entered the room, quickly surveying the sick ninja before sitting down opposite him on Sasori's bed.

'So, Tobi tells me you're dying,' he said, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. 'He's always overreacting.'

Deidara nodded, silently, not wanting to hurt his throat any more than it already was.

'You hungry?' Kisame asked.

The younger ninja shook his head. Kisame, seeng that he wasn't going to be able to get much conversation out of Deidara, sighed and cast about for some other yes or no question.

'You hot?'

Deidara nodded again, though this was an understatement, he felt like he was getting warmer and warmer by the second, almost like his body was on fire. His head was pounding horribly as if fifty taiko drummers were holding a concert inside it. Suddenly, Deidara sat bolt upright, his hand over his mouth. Kisame, momentarily stunned, was even more shocked when the blonde scrambled out of bed and ran out of his room. A few moments later, the shark-man heard the sound of someone vomiting into the nearest toilet.

Kisame hurridly followed Deidara and found him crouched over the toilet, emptying the little content he had in his stomach. The older Akatsuki member knelt down next to the vomiting bomber and gently pulled his long hair back, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

After a while, Deidara had obviously thrown up everything he could. Sweating and panting for breath, he leaned against Kisame and stood up, shakily, looking paler than ever.

'Are you alright?' Kisame asked, standing up.

'I think that's the last of it, hmn,' Deidara muttered, wiping his mouth. 'God, I feel awful.'

'Come on, let's get you back to bed.'

Deidara meekly allowed the shark-man to lead him back to his room where he greatfully collapsed onto the bed, wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him, he felt absolutely horrid.