Games

Chapter 2

My head was buried into the pillow. All I could think about was him... He was the love of my life, how do you expect me to forget about him? Well, at least I thought he was the love of my life. He doesn't want anything to do with me now. It was the biggest mistake of my life to end things with him, I really regret it. But it wasn't my decision; I was forced to do all the things I did.

What hurt me: He told me I was a waste of time.

It replayed in my head, the sound of his icy words, and he hissed at me like that. Does he hate me now?

"They'll be over in a minute," Aria informed me, putting her phone in the pocket of her jeans, "Spence, you doing alright over there? You look like a mess... I know it hurts right now, and it probably stings like hell, but you need to take a deep breath and relax."

I picked myself up from the bed. Relax? Relax? Is she freakin' crazy? How am I supposed to relax right now? I was already born tense, so she can't expect me to be any less tense after the ex-boyfriend that I thought I was in love with told me he basically doesn't want anything to do with me, and told me he didn't like being together! There's no way I can relax right now.

Well, I can't blame him. He deserves a girl that can be honest and will always let him in. I constantly ignored him because of my obsessions with unmasking -A, and I could never tell him the truth. He deserves an honest girl that trusts him and can be trusted. He doesn't trust me anymore, and that's for sure.

"I'm a tense person," I bit my lip, "it's impossible for me to relax,"

Aria slid in next to me.

"To be honest... He doesn't deserve you," She smiled at me, "that was so mean of him to say that to you. Even if you weren't always honest to him, that's the worst way to go with a girl. You should be glad he's gone."

"That doesn't help," I shook my head, "but thanks for trying... Aria, I really thought we were in love. I can't forget him, and I need him. I can't 'be glad' that he's gone. I can only be unhappy about it. I don't want him to be gone, I want him to be here with me right now. I want to be close to him again, and I want him to trust me again. I want to hug him again, and I want to kiss him again, and dammit! I miss him so much,"

Aria looked at me with a sorry look, "You remember what I said; he'll come back to you if he knows it's right. Let's see if that boy is smart enough to realize that he can't get over a girl that fast. I bet you he can't forget about you like that, and he misses you. Everyone in Rosewood could see that you two were in love! How do you think he can forget the girl that he was in love with? He was in love with you, too. It was obvious."

I found myself hugging Aria. She was so supportive through it all. If Ali was still alive, I bet she'd tell me that I should just get over it. Sometimes she could be the biggest bitch in the world, and I just could hate Ali so much! But sometimes she was a supportive friend... Not much, though. She could never be as supportive as Aria was being to me right now. Aria's a true friend, and always will be.

Hanna and Emily walked in my bedroom. They came over and sat down next to us. "Hey Spence, hey Aria... What's the big stuff going on right now? What did you need us here for?"

"It's nothing about -A," Aria began, "it's about Spencer and Toby."

"He's back from Jenna's surgery?" Emily's eyes widened. "What happened with you two? Did he want to get back together with you?"

Holy crap, they're just making me wanna cry more! He didn't ask me to get back together with him, he did the opposite of that. Way to go, Em... Why would she guess that? Doesn't it look like I've just been bawling for ages? It feels like my eyes are all puffy from the crying. I hate that feeling in my eyes.

"Em... Not a good thing to say." Aria warned.

Hanna's eyes widened now. "Did he...?"

Aria nodded.

Hanna put her arm around me, "Spence, I'm so sorry! I... I can't believe he'd just do something like that to you. What exactly happened? Just talk it out to us. Maybe it'll make you feel better about all of this."

I began with the story, "I saw him walking, and Aria urged me to talk to him, so I finally got the guts and went over to him. He was already being cold to me, and I could pretty much see that he's still mad at me about us breaking up. He told me that we were a waste of time and that... And that... He's glad it's over!" I was about to start bawling again. That didn't make me feel better at all. It made me feel worse to think about it more. Hanna needs to work on her coping methods, because they're not very helpful. They're just damn painful!

Aria bit her lip and stared at Hanna, "Han, maybe that wasn't the best way to try to let Spence cope..."

"I'm sorry," She said.

"It's not your fault." I told her, wiping another tear from my eyes.

"Spence, it is my fault..." Hanna sighed, taking a deep breath. What the hell was she talking about? Something happened... She was looking at me with this sorry look. I just let her go on. "Toby called me as I was coming over here. I knew I should've let him talk to you, but I told him to stop bothering me, and told him that you're not with me right now. Also, yesterday he kept asking me about you, and I told him that you think he's a jerk-"

"You did what?" I couldn't help but allow my eyes to widen. She did not just tell me that, though! She helped Toby get mad at me? How could she...? I don't know if I want to punch Hanna in the face right now. She was wincing with fear right now.

"Spencer..." She mumbled. "Spence... Please... I'm... So... Sorry..." She facepalmed herself.

Toby was probably mad that I apparantly told Hanna that he's a jerk. I would never call him a jerk unless he really did something bad! Most of this was my fault; the reason we broke up and stuff (with the major part of -A). But he probably thought that I was blaming him for everything that happened, and he said everything out of hate to me. He really does hate me right now, doesn't he?

"Don't freak out, Spence," Emily bit her lip, "you should just go sort things out with him, and tell him you never said that. And you probably need Hanna to go with you to clear things up. Just tell him it was a misunderstanding, and he'll believe you. Don't pin Han down..."

"He'll barely talk to me!" I cried. "In fact, he won't talk to me anymore!"

"I'm not gonna sit here and let you suffer anymore," Hanna sighed, "this is all my fault. I'm gonna fix this for you. Come with me, Spence. We're talking to Toby, and he's gonna regret everything he said to you, and he'll realize that you love him. He'll take back his hate."

Maybe I don't have to hate Hanna...