AN: I am so incredibly sorry for this. I have no excuse. I mean, the last update was like...23 days ago! I am sorry. I am so sorry.

And I'm sorry for this too. I tried my best so I really hope you can enjoy this. If you do, please let me know! Your reviews always keep me going.

Oh, btw, this whole thing was kinda inspired in three songs: Vegas Skies-The Cab. Hometown Glory-Adele and Rolling in the deep-Adele. In that order.

Julian and Logan belongs to CP Coulter, their chaotic platonic relationship -I think- belongs to the entire fandom.

Okay, about this chapter I only want to clarify two things: 1. I think my grammar really sucks and my writer's block made everything more complicated. 2. (And one of my betas made me realized that I should explain it first) Remember last chapter? When Logan was leaving first thing in the morning? Well, he stood in front of the Larson's chalet at...I don't know, 10 am? Yeah, probably ten am. And Julian just left to do a work thing that wouldn't take him too long so I thought they were playing outside for a while.

So, um, in this chapter is about lunch time. 2:30 sounds right. That's it.

"No."

He still couldn't move. He was still lost in Logan's beautiful eyes. He felt chills when the blonde's thumb started caressing his cheek.

"No?"

And Logan couldn't stop himself either. He was so close. All the memories of how did the brunet feel under Logan's touch reappeared. Julian's skin was still soft, he still smelled like vanilla, his lips had the same light pink color. Both were transported back again to Dalton, ten years ago –eleven, twelve… -when one body was instantly attracted to the other and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They were not a cheesy, horny couple (like Derek used to say), they just felt…something. Every touch, every breath, every kiss, every look, every whisper…their senses only responded correctly while the other was around. Both felt ecstasy, adrenaline, shivers when their bodies made contact. And it felt so great, it felt so fucking fantastic.

"No." he sighed for the last time, battling with the lump in his throat. Not again. No, please not again. I can't be that much of an idiot. I can't still-. "Logan, just…stop."

"Okay." Logan whispered and smiled, leaning even closer to the brunet. Their noses were touching. I've missed you. I've missed you Jules. Julian froze –please, please not again –when he felt Logan's hand moving slowly to the back of his neck, and the other one was resting placidly on his hip, keeping him close. "It's just that…" the blond kept talking brushing their noses together, their lips were barely an inch away "this feels right."

When he couldn't stand it anymore, Logan shut the insignificant gap between them. Lips touched softly.

And Logan couldn't ignore what he felt next.

"Julian?" Logan pulled away and frowned, absolutely confused. Something wet on the tip of his nose had distracted him before he could fully kiss the actor. "Julian, wha-?"

"Don't-" His face reddened, his hands became fists and the tears filling his beautiful chocolate eyes were ready to fall in any second. Tears of frustration, tears of hate.

But he didn't hate Logan. He hated himself. He hated himself because of what he was feeling.

The same feeling he thought he got rid of ten years ago.

"Jules, I-" Julian managed to control his reaction (mainly, because of the little boy sleeping a few feet away from them). He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch him straight in the face; he wanted to take his son and leave for good. Marianne wasn't important, they could start a new life with his little Logan in…Austria? Yeah, that sounds nice. The blond didn't know what to do, though; everything felt wrong –he didn't want to hurt Julian again. "I didn't-"

"Yes." his hand wiped angrily his tears away "Yes, of course you didn't mean to do that. Of course!" he clenched his jaw. Pathetic, you're so pathetic. Falling again for the same guy who broke your heart when you once gave it entirely to him! He took a deep breath. Logan glanced at him. "Now, I believe you said you were leaving."

Logan opened his mouth and tried to articulate but he couldn't. Did he really want him gone after that? Was he the only one that felt all those amazing things when they were that close?

Was it hopeless?

"I'll walk you out."

Logan didn't even oppose. That was the plan since last night, right? He will leave. Plus, he, somehow, said goodbye. He, somehow, felt him at least one more time. Julian walked to the door and left it opened for Logan to follow him.

But he stayed there a little longer, trying to understand why he couldn't stop when Julian said no the first time –or the second time. Why was he always pushing him? They were behaving like human beings once again. When Julian punched him it seemed like he had let it all out. And then he smiled at him, for Christ's sake! He smiled at him like he used to do it. But no, he wanted more. He wanted much more than his beautiful smile.

He wanted to kiss him and tell him everything he couldn't put up in words into that kiss.

And he wanted to feel his answer in that very same kiss.

Logan turned his head to see the little brunet sleeping angelically on his bed, holding tightly to his lion. He could've been his. He could have been the one tucking up his son; singing to him until he falls asleep. Or maybe tell him a story –apparently he was good at that.

Asshole.

When he reached the chalet door he just mumbled his final goodbye, head down.

"You know…" Julian's words were barely audible, he was mostly mumbling to himself what he truly wanted to say to him but he will never have the heart to do it. But Logan did hear him, and he wanted to know. He walked away really slowly, trying to hear every word that came out of his mouth. "I thought I finally-"

"Logan?"

But a voice suddenly interrupted Julian's speech.

That voice.

That extremely excited, pitchy voice.

Julian snapped out of his not-so-inner monologue to find out that Logan was, indeed, listening. Oh, fuck. The way he was standing, how he had tilted his head to a side and how his body tensed when Marianne showed up let him know. He took this moment to think all through and just…breathe.

That was one of the few times in his life Julian actually thanked Marianne's bad timing.

Logan, on the other hand, was about to explode. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What were you gonna say, Jules? Tell me. He clenched his jaw when he saw the petite blonde walking with several bags in each hand, approaching them. Say it, Julian. Marianne can fucking wait. Keep talking, keep talking!

"Logan, what a pleasant surprise!" she said leaning closer to kiss both of his cheeks. "Hi Jul." her plastic smile approached the actor as she dropped a quick kiss on his lips. Julian growled uncomfortable; he still had the weak taste of Logan's lips on his and she took it all away with her lipstick and falseness. "I was out all morning in my own adventure" she entered into the chalet, both guys following her with the eyes "exploring Ohio's malls –which are not a big deal, by the way." The blonde laughed loudly. "But lunch will be ready in an hour; so Logan," the blond guy blinked at his name "I insist you join us."

Julian gulped and hated Marianne again because of her freaking bad timing. You have to be kidding me. She's just doing this to ruin my life. He was leaving, he was about to leave without taking any more of my pride with him and she-! Ugh. Unbelievable. "Actually," he took a step forward "Logan was here just to say goodbye, Marianne." Logan stared perplexed at Julian. What? No. You were about to say something. I am not leaving until you spill it all out! "He was going to the lobby to check out…"

Marianne frowned "Well, I won't take 'no' for an answer again, Loggy." Again? Julian looked at his wife expecting an answer but she didn't pay him any attention. What? And he was certainly not going to look at Logan because that would be too risky."Do your check out, come back and we'll have some fabulous chicken parmesan before you leave. Hopefully this guy "and tilted her head in Julian's direction "let us talk properly now."

The living room was in utter silence until Logan woke up from his nap to have lunch with the others. Julian and Logan had been seated on separated couches; the latter staring intensely at the first one –Talk to me, Jules-; while the actor's eyes were fixed on his son, who was lying next to him, sleepy.

Yes, he knew Logan was looking at him.

No, he couldn't look at him. If he did it, he'd cry out his frustration and he would explode in front of his family and in front of the guy that still made him feel nervous. He shouldn't look at him.

So he just sighed.

I can't believe I still love him.

"Okay boys, lunch's ready!" Marianne interrupted the silence of the room walking in with a salad bowl in her hands. Dana was behind her, carrying a tray full of dishes.

Julian stood up immediately and turned to wake up his son, who was curled up in a couch sleeping. Logan pouted but finally sighed and rubbed his dreamy green eyes to take his father's hand and walk with him towards the table.

Logan stayed there watching the father-son moment and smiled to himself "C'mon Old Logan," He blinked as soon as he heard a childish voice calling him "you can sit next to me." The small boy grinned.

"Darling, that wasn't really polite, was it?" Marianne asked in a very motherly tone "Apologize."

The little boy frowned. "But I'm Logan." He said while the blond man took a seat next to him. "And he doesn't mind because he's my friend, right?"

Marianne looked at him amused. Had she missed something when she was out? She glanced at the two grown-ups, who remained quiet, focused on their chicken. "Oh?"

"Yeah mommy!" he began to bounce in his chair. "He was a space monster and daddy was an astronaut," Logan stopped pretending he was eating and listened entertained to the little guy "and so was I, but then I was his presenter-"

"Prisoner." Two voices chorused gently. Logan raised his head right at the exact time Julian tried to escape his eyes.

But he couldn't.

Julian was now emerged on those green emerald eyes and he couldn't do anything about it.

He couldn't escape.

The five year old kept talking but it seemed that the only one listening was Dana, who had joined them at the table a while ago. Julian and Logan kept staring at each other, unaware of Marianne's eyes flicking anxiously from the guy in front of her to her husband, next to her.

Something was happening, she didn't know what.

In fact, she was kinda scared to ask because of Logan's look.

She had the same look.

"How's…" she cleared her throat loudly, trying to shut her own voice up that was making wild assumptions in her head –and to catch the two guys' attention. It was pointless: Julian and Logan seemed to have forgotten about the rest of the world. "How's the chicken, Logan?"

When he heard his name the spell broke. Julian coughed and put a piece of chicken in his mouth while Logan glanced at Marianne and smiled politely "It is very good, actually."

Marianne's smile didn't reach her eyes this time. She just nodded and looked down from Logan's face to see the intact chicken on his plate. "I'm…glad" she mumbled, her fake smile disappeared, but the traces were still there.

It's really easy to make chicken parmesan. You just have to… And she kept repeating the entire recipe in her head during the whole lunch.

She needed a distraction, that's all.

She didn't need anything else in her mind.

The rest of the meal the five of them remained quiet. Even little Logan was in a zombie-mode, he wanted to go back to bed. "Finish your chicken, darling." Marianne said and her son pouted. He laid his head in Logan's arm and yawned.

Julian raised his gaze for a second and dropped it quickly to his lap with a sudden move. Just…pretend nothing's happening. His hand tightened around his fork.

And Marianne also pretended nothing was happening. It was easier that way. It was easier to ignore Julian's trembling hand because of his tight grip. It was less complicated not see how Julian was battling with himself to not stare at his son and the stranger in front of him. It was easier to be quiet.

And so she did.

Maybe she shouldn't have asked Logan to join them. Never.

After an hour, Logan was standing in the door of the Larson's chalet. He had already said goodbye to the kid –the brunet hugged him, sleepy, and he almost fell asleep on his shoulder. He gave Marianne a small smile "Thank you for the chicken, it was great. You should be a chef or something." he tried to joke –Marianne just nodded absently.

"Take care, Logan."

She…she wasn't the same old Marianne, Logan could tell.

That's why he didn't feel taken aback later, when Marianne went to talk to him.

So he just smiled again and glanced at Julian, who was standing behind his wife uncomfortably.

"Bye Julian." Just one more time. One last time. I want to- He extended his arm to Julian and waited. "Nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah…" Hesitantly, he took Logan's hand and stayed there for a moment. It felt nice: warm, soft, like when they were younger. A slight shock of electricity ran through his body.

Marianne stood between the two of them staring at their hands. Her heart began racing out of the sudden. She raised her gaze and saw their expressions for just the quick second that all lasted. Logan straightened himself back and turned around. "Bye." He turned around and walked down the porch stairs.

Wait.

Wait Logan, don't go.

Don't leave me again.

Logan –Lo, I want to tell you something.

Logan? Logan, please turn around. Please. If you turn around I swear to God I'll tell you everything. Logan. Logan?

But Logan didn't turn around. He just kept walking waiting for Julian to scream his name and come running towards him.

That didn't happen either.

"I'll…" he cleared his throat to get rid of the lump he got seeing Logan leave. "I'll go check up on Lo." He walked with his head down to take shelter on his son's room.

The only Logan that will never leave him.

Marianne watched him go with her attempt of smile still on her face. No, she thought. No, I have to –I. Her chest hurt because of the unusual heart beating. A sudden fear embraced her entire body. The voice in her head was practically screaming by now, but it could be wrong, right? This is what I get for living in Hollywood. I can't think that, no. He's –We need to move out, Hollywood is a bad influence. When she heard Logan's door close she knew that Julian wouldn't leave the room soon.

So she just walked.

Logan let out part of his anger when he kicked the wheel of his Porsche but that wasn't enough. He sighed in frustration and hit the window of his car with all his strength.

He left him…again.

He fucked it all up with him…again.

And he was never going to find out what Julian tried to tell him.

Julian went down on his knees and started caressing his son's head extremely cautious to not disturb him. He smiled and felt how a fearless tear ran across his cheek.

Marianne usually didn't have much problems walking in any surface with high heels, but at that moment it felt impossible to do it.

At first, she just tried to take a deep breath, regain her composure and kept walking, but it was useless. Her heels were drowning on the ground.

That wasn't helping her at all.

But she was a lady –she couldn't scream her frustration away.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" he punched again the window but this time he really got what he wanted: an excruciating pain on his right hand. "Argh!" he screamed, but he was still angry with himself "Fuck!" he hit again.

Not sure whether if all his anger was gone, he just stopped. His forehead leaning above the spot he'd been hitting for a couple of minutes, and sighed.

"Logan?"

This time the voice wasn't pitchy, wasn't excited, wasn't false. The voice calling his name sounded, for the first time, sincere...upset.

He shut his eyes close and listened. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Logan looked at her and nodded when he met her green, intense eyes.

Julian sighed. It was all over now. If he was lucky he could forget about Logan in two weeks –three, tops.

Who am I kidding?

He hadn't forgotten about Logan since he graduated and had to leave Westerville for his own sake. To leave Ohio, leave the States. Everything he wanted, everything he needed, at the time was to disappear.

"It's okay. It's okay." the actor cried desperately, grabbing Logan by the arm "We can work this out, Lo. We can-"

Logan shook his head, tears running across his face. "I am so sorry Jules, I didn't-"

"It's okay." He forced a smile to prove Logan they were going to be fine –the tears were another story. He cupped his face and kissed him "It's fine, see? I'm kissing you." Logan closed his eyes in pain. "I love you. I love you, we-"

"I don't deserve you."

"No. No, shut up. You don't think that. You're the one for me Lo. It was just a mistake."

Silence.

Julian stood up and tried to wipe his tears at the memories.

"It… was a mistake, right?" his voice kept shaking.

"I just…-" She stopped for a minute to put his thoughts in order. "People just…assume I'm stupid, you know?" Logan met her eyes and stared at her, trying not to smile. "Born and raised in Beverly Hills, all-girls school, married to a rich guy…blonde." she smiled sadly at him, Logan nodded to let her know she could keep going. "Thing is, I'm not the smartest person… but I know a few things.

I grew up in a city where everyone needs to be false and smile all the time or you're just…banned from their little snob group. Hollywood is the exact same thing so I'm quite an expert on the subject.

So I can see through that, you know?" Logan nodded again. He wasn't scared; he could see what was coming next "Through the looks, and the smiles, and the words, and the…" she hesitated a bit "the handshakes." She raised her eyes, Logan was smiling kindly. "So I just have two questions for you. Two yes or no questions, that's the only thing I want from you."

Julian left his son's room to go to the bathroom to throw some water on his face. He could still see the Logan from ten years ago shaking his head painfully after that question. He could still feel the same heartache every now and then. He opened the door calmly and looked around. The actor found Dana cleaning up the dining table.

"Dana, where's Marianne?"

"Okay." Logan took a deep breath. His hand was still soaring.

Marianne tried to choose the correct words before speaking.

"Do you have feelings for my husband?"

Julian left the chalet feeling nervous. Dana hadn't seen Marianne but she assumed she went out because the door was still opened. He looked around but he didn't see her close.

Maybe the lobby...

Logan's gone. She can't –.

Logan sighed. "Yes." And, for some reason (he didn't know why), he smirked. The intensity of his look came back.

To say it at loud was refreshing. To say it to Marianne was… liberating.

But Marianne wasn't going to chicken out after this –she was expecting that answer. She held his stare and swallowed deeply, trying not to show her fear about the upcoming question.

He reconsidered his decision. No, she isn't in the lobby. He stopped walking for a second and ran towards the parking lot.

"Now," she wouldn't look away from his gaze first. She was strong enough to hold it "I think you know what I'm about to ask."

His smirk grew wider. "I have a pretty good idea."

Fuck.

He couldn't run. He couldn't jump into any conclusion because if he was wrong, everything would be too suspicious. When he saw Logan and her wife talking, he froze.

Fuck!

And the first step was the hardest, but everything came automatically once he started.

She pressed her lips into a thin line before talking. Logan just looked away from her for a quick second to see Julian walking towards them "Do you think my husband feels the same way about you?"

Julian was closer to them, his pace was determined –it wasn't time to get anxious. Logan looked at him once again; his smirk became a mischievous, lusty smile.

Marianne turned around. She wasn't surprised when Julian showed up. She didn't care, he was still far enough to get an answer from the guy in front of her.

"Yes or no, Logan."

Julian was even closer.

Logan's eyes set on Marianne's.

"Yes."