AN: I am so sorry. So so sorry. For anyone who is still reading this I really have no excuse for the -almost-three months hiatus.

I will not say anything else because I don't want to excuse myself for my irresponsability. I hope you can forgive me, I always think about this story and ways to continue it but sometimes I just can't and...and I'm really really sorry.

*sigh*

I swear I'll be more constant with my updates. Anyway, the story is coming to an end -maybe two or three more chapters and it's done -so let me know if you like it so far? Please?

AN1: (About the story) Don't know guise if you remember but the last chapter was a bit of a shock for Marianne so basically this chapter focuses more on her than in Julian or Logan.

"Excuse me?" Julian jogged until he reached the blonde walking down the street with at least four shopping bags in each hand. The woman turned at a slight tap on her shoulder and blinked in surprise as she recognized the brunet.

"Yes?"

It took a while for Julian to speak again; he was staring intently into her eyes. "Uhm, I think this is yours." He handed her a rectangular, flat box, which she grinned and took it. "Oh, thank you so much." She put her bags on the floor so she could open the it. Inside, there was a silver necklace –a very delicate chain was holding a small pendant made with the same material. "I loved it since I saw it, you know? I like the musical note at the ending."

The blonde could sense that the guy wasn't paying her too much attention. His lips were slightly parted, his cheeks were a little flushed and his eyes were focused on hers.

"Oh." The actor snapped out of his trance and smiled softly. "Musical note?" He looked down and saw the woman's fingers playing with the adornment.

She nodded and smiled again. "I used to have one like this when I was little. My grandmother gave it to me when I started playing the violin."

Julian felt lost in her intense gaze once again. He had never seen such beautiful eyes in anyone. "Julian Larson," he finally managed to say.

"I know," she chuckled charmingly and closed the box while extending her other hand to shake Julian's. "Marianne Phelps."

"Are you serious right now? Are you fucking serious, Marianne?"

"Don't you dare using that tone with me Julian Larson-Armstrong!"

"Marianne-!" Julian covered his face with his hands and walked away from their bedroom. "Unbelievable. You're freaking unbelievable!"

Marianne followed him into the living room with a deep frown in her face. "Don't walk away from me! Stop walking away from me! Larson-!"

The actor turned around so abruptly that Marianne almost crashed into him.

"If you walk right through that door we're over."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

She yelled back after Julian closed the door behind him with a loud bang. Marianne clenched her jaw and she couldn't hold it any longer. Nobody was watching anyways. She grabbed a crystal center piece and crashed it into the wall. Then, she walked toward the bar in a corner of the room and started throwing all the bottles into the floor.

And then she couldn't stop.

When Julian came back, five hours later, he found Marianne seated in the middle of the living room surrounded by broken objects, soil from the vases and pages from books she had ripped off one by one.

He stood there in silence, digging in the scenario and Marianne just looked at him for a moment before she sighed and looked around.

"We need new stuff."

"Marry me."

At this very same moment Marianne was sobbing. She didn't know if it was out of pain or happiness but she knew it'd pass.

This was one of the happiest days of her –their lives.

"Do you have a name yet?" A woman with a light blue robe asked through a mask of the same color.

She couldn't think. She was sobbing again when a nurse dressed with the same clothes as the other handed to her husband, very carefully, their baby –all cleaned up and crying loudly.

Julian turned around gaping at his wife. It wasn't a dream. He was actually holding his baby for the first time. Julian Larson had become a father. Marianne smiled between her sobs and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She was so happy at the image of her husband staring down at the now quiet little guy in his arms.

The brunet grinned at him and then walked slowly to Marianne, never parting his eyes away from the new-born. She extended her arms and Julian laid carefully their son in her chest.

"Logan…" he whispered, and Marianne smiled when the baby-boy opened his eyes and tilted his head in Julian's direction.

"I think he likes it." Julian's lips brushed her hair and she felt so connected with him, so happy with him, so secure with him that nothing else seemed to matter now.

Because she now had a family.

"Logan Larson."

And she liked the name.

"-THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO TELL HER?"

"Nothing! You were –You were leaving! You-!"

Marianne didn't make a sound for what it felt like an eternity (or maybe three minutes, she wasn't sure by now). She kept looking at a blind spot, far away from her, in the ground. Once in a while her vision was interrupted by some frantic pair of hands that moved along Julian's upset words.

She wasn't even thinking about the previous conversation with Logan –not even about her husband's suddenly intrusion and the worried look that he had tried to hide. She wanted to run away from there. She wanted not to think.

Carpets. I have to call the guy that cleans the carpets.

Logan's doctor's appointment has to be rescheduled.

Call the girls…

…I need a night out.

"She just asked me-!"

"Shut up, you egotistical prick!" Marianne snapped out of her thoughts but kept staring at the same spot. "Go away and leave my family alone!"

And that was it. Julian didn't see it, nor did Logan. They didn't see Marianne frown. Didn't see the change of her hands into tight fists. They didn't notice the small tear that came down involuntarily and ran across her cheek. They were too focused on each other to actually notice anyone else.

What made them acknowledged her existence was the abrupt punch in Julian's jaw that forced his torso to twist to a side.

"What the hell-" Julian regained his balance but kept a hand where Marianne hit him, trying to suppress the pain. He looked in disbelief at his wife and saw rage in her eyes.

When she was upset it was when she most resembled to him.

"Marianne, what-?"

"This is not a fucking family, you fucking dickhead!" Both Logan and Julian seemed taken aback when the so-called ladystarted swearing in an extremely high-pitched voice. "This," she made a frantic move between her husband and her with her hand, "this is a fucking lie –YOUR fucking lie!"

"What are you talking about?" This time, the rage in the petite blonde's eyes gave her away before a second punch stroke right in Julian's ribcage. "Argh! What?"

"What is going on with you two?" her sharp cry made Logan wonder if the birds flying away from the tree cups were trying to escape from there or were just a really dramatic coincidence. "Wh- You-" Dizziness went all over her body in a split of a second. She was getting sick, she wanted to puke, to collapse right there. She wasn't crying but she felt the urge to set her tears free. "Logan-"

"Why do you believe in him more than in me?" Julian grimaced sourly and suddenly his body wasn't in that much pain anymore. Nothing could compare with the sensation of betrayal and disappointment when he looked at his wife. "Fuck, Marianne, you just met the guy…"

"Because at least he answers my questions," she muttered. At this point, Logan raised his gaze from the ground and looked at the woman beside him. Her body had stopped trembling, her breathing had found a steady rhythm and her fists became delicate hands again. When he wasn't looking, Marianne had found the strength that Julian lost. Her answer left the actor speechless. He wasn't a bad husband –he wasn't perfect either, he knew that –but he thought he was at least covering the basics. "You don't –you never answer my questions."

"Marianne…" his voice softened. He tried to reach her but his wife took a step away from him (and unconsciously closer to Logan) and raised a hand in a 'don't-even-think-about-it' way. Julian sighed and lowered his head.

He was meant to fail at everything, wasn't he?

Yes, yes of course. If he couldn't even take care of himself, how was he supposed to take care of a family? Let alone…be happy and make them happy.

He wasn't happy. Not a bit. The only sunbeam that his life held was Logan. His son was the only right thing he'd done in a very long time.

"I don't know what's your story together," she said in a soft voice, getting back her lady look. She couldn't just flip out again like before. "-I'm not sure if I want to know it but…" she closed her eyes and pressed her temple with two fingers, taking a deep breath," this concerns me. This concerns my son, this concerns –" slowly, she opened her eyes and tilted her head, "-Logan?" The taller man lowered his gaze at the sound of his name and looked at her but she wasn't looking back at him. Another fit of rage invaded her body and she almost jumped at Julian's throat like a lion attacking his prey when she finally made all the connections in her head. "LOGAN? YOU NAMED OUR SON AFTER HIIM?" The actor could feel the pain not in her punches but in her cry. At this, Logan quickly grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up in the air to make her stop. "YOU DRAG HIM INTO THIS?"

"What are you talking about?" Julian snapped and even Logan felt intimidated by his harsh tone.

"He's our son, Julian!" She cried in Logan's arms. "Our son! The one with your smile, with your hair, with my eyes! My-" Marianne stopped and tilted her head backwards to look at the guy holding her. When he felt the calmness between his arms, Logan looked down and saw a pair of green, intense, eyes staring at him in shock. "…eyes…" She whispered, "like…his...-"

"What?" the two guys asked at the unison.

Marianne wasn't the smartest person, she knew that.

But the fact that the other two guys remained clueless was getting to her nerves.

"I want answers."

With difficulty, Marianne managed to walk through the woods despite her high heels sinking in the ground every now and then. She had no idea where she was going but she knew that if she stayed in that parking lot for another second, she would go crazy. The cabin wasn't an option either with her son a few feet away from them. She simply walked and she knew that Julian was following her and Logan was following Julian.

Ten minutes of silent walking and who-knows-how-far from the chalet complex, Marianne stopped and turned around. Her mouth partly opened, her index raised, and brows knitted together, stopped the other two men on their tracks. They remained quiet.

"You were friends." It wasn't that much of a question. Yes, she knew that already but to say it out loud would probably make it clearer in her mind. "And you," he looked at Logan, "you have –had –have feelings for my husband."

The actor turned his head and looked at Logan. His eyes weren't pleading him to shut up anymore, they were just tired. This whole conversation was inevitable, he knew that, so he just waited for him to answer and end this for good.

Green eyes met brown and, without taking them off him, he nodded.

"And Julian…" It broke Marianne's heart that her husband was still looking at the blond guy behind him. "You…" she took her time to choose the correct verb tense because she didn't know if she could handle the entire truth right now. "You had feelings for Logan."

Julian lowered his head and sighed. "We were boyfriends."

The last word made Marianne dizzy again. She covered her mouth to restrain a gasp but the tears were already falling. She was shaking. Her marriage was a lie; her family was a lie. She had no idea what did she do to deserve all of this. Julian wasn't the chattiest guy but she figured it was the Hollywood life that made him so reserved. Later, she will think that if Julian had told her about his past since the beginning, she wouldn't have reacted that way. But they were boyfriends and Julian was acting weirder than before now that this guy was back in his life. She couldn't pass that out. She didn't deserve it; no one deserved to live in a lie.

Even worse, she was Julian's lie to himself. Marianne was a simply substitute for something that didn't work out.

"What else."

"-I broke him." The married couple turned to the blond. His voice, unlike the other two, sounded casual. "He loved me and I broke him."

"How?"

Logan stared at her for a moment and then took a deep breath to begin:

"I don't know if you remember… Ten years ago there were all these news about our school. Julian's name was often mentioned too. It was everywhere." No matter how long it had been, Julian still found it really difficult to talk about the subject. He walked towards the closest tree and sat there, back leaned in the trunk, while his hands were pulling slightly brown locks of hair.

"Yes, someone died in a fire…"

"Uh-huh," he put his hands in his pockets and frowned at the memories. He still had some scars from that day; tiny ones, but scars anyway. "That day I found out that my best friend had been in love with me for over three years," a corner of his mouth quirked up into a sad smile."Can you believe that? It took me three years and a knife in Julian's throat to know about his feelings.

"So it was hard for Jules after that. I tried to be with him all the time –take care of him; be a good friend. We didn't talk about his confession for a long time, he didn't let me. He wanted to forget everything about that day and he wanted me to do the same, but how can you forget something like that?"

"You don't." Her voice was barely audible.

"I didn't. Every time I looked at him I asked myself how I didn't see it before…"

"You were an idiot–" Julian's voice caught their attention. He had his legs crossed, a finger drawing circles in the ground. He raised his gaze, "-are. But I was a major one. After three awful years I was still in love with you."

"The first thing I said to him in our first day of senior year was if he wanted to go on a date with me."

Julian snorted and narrowed his eyes. "More than 'Larson. You. Me. Saturday Night. We're having a date.' I think those were your exact words."

Marianne let her guard down for a moment and the ghost of a smile popped into her face. But that ghost disappeared as soon as she realized that Julian was smiling at a blond that was trying to cover his blush. She cleared her throat and broke the spell, "and you broke him?" The question hit exactly where she wanted. She couldn't bear the sight of her husband and Logan like that. Like… they were sharing something unique, something that just the both of them owned.

Be the bad guy, she didn't care anymore.

Logan blinked and lowered his head. "I do this…thing –I sabotage every relationship I have. With Julian I tried my best not to but I…" he sighed, disappointed on himself, "I can't help it."

"You cheated on him."

"I don't cheat." He snapped quickly at Marianne, who didn't even bat an eyelash. "If there's a thing that my father has taught me is that cheaters are scum. I. Don't. Cheat."

Marianne crossed her arms and raised her chin defiantly waiting for him to continue. The intensity of their looks burned deep inside the other for a moment. This was it. It was Logan's time to explain himself after ten years of silence. Ten years of regrets, of guilt. Ten years he spent running away but the memory of Julian had always pursued him.

So here it goes…

"You see, I-."

"No, hold on-" Julian interrupted. His head tilted to a side, replaying the day everything ended in his mind over and over again. "You cheat. You cheated. On me. You said you-"

"I didn't." Logan pressed his lips into a thin line and shrugged uncomfortably.

"No. NO!" The actor stood up and strode toward Logan, eyes madly furious. "No! We broke up because-"

"Julian, think about it." He restrained himself from grabbing Julian's hands and squeeze them hard because he knew that it wouldn't make a difference. Now that he was right there explaining everything he thought he shouldn't have come at all. That Julian would have been better hating an eighteen year old teen than a twenty-eight year old Logan. He was just hurting him more with the truth.

But he couldn't stop.

"I've always hated my father for what he'd done; for the families that he broke… I would never cheat. Especially not on you."

"Wait," Marianne got a couple steps closer to them, "did you cheat on him or not?"

"Yes."

"No." Two absolute voices came at the unison. Logan lowered his head, looking for Julian's eyes and when he found them he whispered "no." Julian huffed and tried to escape from his gaze but the blond was faster. He grabbed him by the shoulders and smiled, desperate for Julian to believe him. "I would never, ever, cheat on you, Jules."

"Shut up!" He pushed Logan away. "No! We broke up because you said-"

"I lied."

"That you made a mis-"

"I lied too."

He pushed him again and again until Logan's back hit a tree. Marianne stood there, arms wrapped around her body, watching her feet uncomfortably. She didn't need to watch, hear them was bad enough.

"No, you-!"

"I wasn't thinking, okay? I was scared!"

"You were-" Julian ran a shaky hand through his hair and growled. "No. I don't get it. I don't – I-"

"I panicked."

"About what?"

"About us."

Julian was panting. His sepia eyes darkened at the sight of an ashamed Logan. They stood in silence, the wind was blowing stronger.

"So you lied to him?" She raised her head to meet another pair of green eyes. "That doesn't sound-"

"I know it doesn't." He replied and looked back at Julian, talking only for him to listen. "You were in love with me since freshmen year. That's three whole years, Julian. I couldn't compete with that. You had three more years than me in our relationship…"

Julian narrowed his eyes, he felt a lump in his throat but it wasn't a cry, it felt more like a scream that he was choking back. "It wasn't a competition, Logan… Relationships are not a fucking competition!"

"Three years, Julian…" and he realized how stupid it sounded.

But, at the same time, how freaking true it was in his head.

"I could've waited for you!" He stepped away from him and started walking in circles. Marianne flinched when Julian shouted hoarsely and kicked a tree nearby. "I waited for you three years. I could have waited for you a lot more! You just had to ask, dammit!"

"I couldn't." He shook his head. "It wasn't fair to you…"

"SO YOU DECIDED THAT IT WAS MORE FAIR TO BREAK ME?"

When Logan raised his head, Julian was shooting daggers at him with his glare. "I wasn't worth it…"

Julian looked at him in disbelief. He stalked towards Logan and, when he was close enough, he punched him right where Marianne had hit him before.

"Stop with the self pity! Stop it! Stop thinking that you're not worthy! Stop thinking that you don't –didn't, didn't deserve me," he corrected himself as fast as he could. "Stop with that! Stop thinking that no one should ever love you!" He stumbled with words that were desperate to come out but he surrendered and just walked in circles again, trying to calm himself down. "Gee Logan, who did this to you? Who made you think that you don't deserve to be happy?"

When the actor stopped in his tracks and covered his face with his hands, no one spoke for a long time. Marianne looked away from the two guys and contemplated the sight. It was actually beautiful. The tree cups moving along with the April wind, colorful flowers gleaming with the weak orange sunbeams of the afternoon, birds resting in their nests... She was even able to see a hummingbird flying from flower to flower and then disappearing quickly with the soft spring breeze.

And she hated it.

All of it.

"Why did you say that?" Julian finally broke the silence. "I mean, you could have said something less…hurtful."

"I just… wanted you to realize that I wasn't the type of guy you should fall in love with."

"Why?"

He sighed, looking up to the clear sky through the leafy branches and realizing how desperately he wanted to go back in time and never meet Julian because that was the only way he'd be sure he would never hurt him. "I don't know, okay? Fear, maybe?" He shrugged awkwardly. "I know it sounds stupid," he looked up when he heard Julian huffed and started walking again. "I panicked because I knew that I couldn't give you what you wanted."

"And what was that, Oh Clever One? Please, enlighten us with your infinite wisdom!" He snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "You think that I wanted you to love me back? Sure, that would've been freaking fantastic but when I told you 'I love you' I never asked you to love me!"

"Why didn't you tell him anything?" She hadn't talk for a while, so her voice sounded husky. There was something that Marianne couldn't comprehend. Call it a sixth sense but she could tell something was missing. "I mean, you asked him to go on a date with you. Why didn't you tell him that you weren't… there yet?"

Logan stared at her for a while. When the two pair of eyes met, they realized that the hate had vanished from their looks –they were too far from there now. "Like I said, I panicked."

"No, but…" she walked slowly towards the blond while Julian stopped again and followed her with his gaze. "You kinda took the first step and then… I mean, it could happen, you could've panicked but why didn't you tell him that?"

He could feel a tennis ball stuck in his throat.

"He looked…so happy."

"Why didn't you tell him that you weren't ready yet?"

"I didn't think he could understand…"

"And why do you think that if you don't deserve someone else's love you need them to hate you?"

The hummingbird appeared again, revolting near them but no one seemed to notice.

"I… don't know…"

Marianne tilted her head and frowned. "You do realize that your lie did nothing but break him in a million pieces, don't you?"

"He has a family now, doesn't he?" That wasn't a smile. It could've seen like it but Marianne knew that he was broken on the inside too.

"Yeah…" she whispered deep in thought and stayed that way until she snapped out and turned to Julian, "and you. Why did you marry me?"

Julian raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You said you were trying to forget him."

"I did forget him. I moved on. I met you."

Marianne's laugh sounded hollow, a bit creepy. He stared at her puzzled.

He really didn't know where she was going.

"Come on, Julian. Stop lying to me. Or to yourself. I don't know him so well but I'd say that you marry a female version of Logan! Only…less…messed up." Julian opened his mouth in disbelief and, for just a moment, he shared a look with Logan that was as confused as him. Marianne was about to lose it again. Looking from one guy to the other she laughed exasperated. "You can't be serious. You…you don't see it?" The silence answered for them and she sighed. "You never got over him!"

"No!" The brunet shook his head frantically. "No, I did! I've never thought about him in…in seven years or so…"

"-You met me seven years ago," she was smiling. She was actually smiling but her blurry vision and the heat in her face told her that it wasn't the happy kind of smile. It was the one that admitted defeat.

"Yeah, because I was thinking about you now!"

The first tear was her cue to go.

She turned around and started walking back from where they had come.

"Where are you going? Marianne?"

"I'm leaving." She stopped and turned to look at her husband with a smile in her face. "We've had enough of your game." With that, she continued her way.

It took Julian a while to say anything. He had stayed there, frowning at her back while sensing that Logan was staring at him again –he didn't mind this time. "We?" he shouted for Marianne to listen.

"My son and I." She answered calmly. Her words, her breathing, her pace… nothing was against her this time. She was leaving gracefully. Her pride was intact; she wasn't sinking in the ground now because she felt lighter. Chin up, eyes sparkling, hands intertwined behind her back, lips pressed into a smile… She was doing it. She was strong enough to do it and she wondered if the hummingbird felt exactly like she was feeling in that moment. "We don't deserve this. I'll send you the divorce papers as soon as we move out from the house."

Julian froze.

AN: Did that make sense? In the next chapters I'll explain other stuff. You can't just expect every detail on just one chapter, can you?

If you want to review or ask me anything, that'll be great.