Do What You Have To Do.
That night a few hours after Dean drifted off, he woke up to a scream. Well really he woke up to screaming, jerking into a sitting position he looked around before his hazel eyes found the sight that broke his heart. Sam was thrashing in his sleep, begging Lucas to stop to please stop. Moving towards the bed, he climbed up and over pinning Sams arms to the bed. "Sammy! Sam wake up!" Sams screams increased and his legs began to kick out, kneeing Dean in the side. "Fuck." Dean glanced around before straddling Sam, pinning his legs down. "Sammy wake Up!" He cried, pinning his brothers arms down harder and holding them with one arm. Leaning down he whispered in Sams ear "Its me. Its Dean. Wake up Sammy. Your safe...wake up. Please wake up." Sams screams died off, and his struggling slowed, a deep breath was taken before a hoarse "De?" was whispered and Dean sagged on top of his brother. Sam buried his face into Deans shoulder, a sob escaping him as he jerked his arms free and wrapped them around Dean, crushing him to Sams chest.
"Shh. It's alright Sammy. It's alright." Dean whispered, using his free hands to brush Sams hair back, though his face was still tucked over Sams shoulder because Sam was busy sobbing into his own shoulder. "You...you saved me." Sam hiccuped, burying his face into Deans neck and just in hailing, breathing in his brothers scent...the smell that meant he was safe, home. "I always will. Your my Sammy." Dean replied, pulling back slightly to look into Sams eyes. "If you ever run off like that again...I'll kick your ass." He scolded, causing Sam to whimper at him. "B..but you...you were disgusted..." Sam whispered. "You were going to hate me...you still will...You should...I'm a sick freak..." Dean shook his head, grasping Sams chin gently and forcing him to look him in the eye. "You are not a sick freak, and Nothing will ever make me hate you. I was disgusted with myself Sammy. Not you. I practically raped you!" Sam shook his head "You will. De...I wanted it. I've wanted it for years..." "What?" "I've...I've dreamed of you fucking me...since I was fourteen." Sam whispered so quietly Dean was sure if Sam hadn't been crushing them together he would have missed it.
Dean went quiet and tense, staring down at Sam. Time stretched and Sam began to get scared, tears welling up. He let go of Dean, pushing him off towards the side. "I told you..." He whispered, moving to sit up and leave when a arm wrapped around his waist. "I'm...I'm not saying no." Dean whispered, pressing his forehead against Sams back. "But I need time. Sammy, I love you. I thought I was the only fucked up one. I need time, you need time to heal. But promise me, you'll never, ever leave me again. If you think I hate you, I can tell you now I never will." Sam had tensed when Dean grabbed him, and after Dean finished speaking he felt Dean kiss his back and he relaxed some, turning towards his brother. His eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. "Ok. Time." "Time." Dean replied, pulling Sam back from the edge of the bed. "That's all I ask." Sam laid down, facing Dean. "I can wait a little longer. Forever really." Sam replied, "But can you hold me?" He asked, his voice shaky. He was still shaken by Lucas kidnapping him and raping him, repeatedly. Dean nodded and rolled onto his back, allowing Sam to curl up against his side. "Oh and De?" "Hm?" "You can never rape me." "What?" "I mean..I'd never consider it rape. I want you all the time." "Still shouldn't have taken advantage." Dean replied, kissing Sams forehead. "Sleep." "Mk. Love you De." "Me too Sammy."
Bobby didn't know what happened to cause Sam to bolt, just that Dean had been severally upset and then pissed when he found out Lucas had stolen 'His Sammy'. Bobby hadn't pointed out at the time, that Sam wasn't 'Deans' because well it would have proven a pointless argument and one they didn't have time for at the moment. When they found Sam, the sight of that...asshole doing that to Sammy, pissed Bobby off. He wanted to rip the mans dick off and shove it down his throat, however he didn't have a chance. Dean saw that scene and had launched himself at Lucas in a blind rage, causing Sam to scream out in pain. Bobbies fathering instincts had taken over, and he had rushed over to clean up Sam, but there was just so much blood...and god he didn't want to think about it. Sams eyes were dull, when he twisted his head slightly. Bobby had honestly been afraid they'd lose him then and there, but the boy pulled through, and seemed to relax when Dean rushed over after killing Lucas. Bobby had went to dispose of the body, burning it to make sure his ghost never came back. Dean had destroyed the bastards body, before he shot him he'd carved up Lucas' chest, privates and face with a knife. The damage done to the poor bastards dick made him flinch in sympathy. Of course, Lucas didn't deserve any sympathy. When they'd returned home Dean had carried a unconscious Sam upstairs, and asked for them to be left alone. Bobby wouldn't disregard the boys wishes, even if he wanted to see that Sam was alright for himself.
The next morning Sam woke up, tensing until he took in a deep breath and all he smelled was Dean. A smile spread across his face, as he inched closer to his brother and nuzzled Deans chest. He didn't want to get up, he didn't know that Dean was already awake until his brother brushed the hair from his face causing him to look up and blush. "Morning." Dean said, smirking at his baby brothers blush. "Mornin'." Sam replied, resting his head on Deans chest and throwing one of his legs over Deans laying half on top of his brother. Normally Dean didn't believe in cuddling, thought it a waste of time. However if Sammy wanted to cuddle, he was more then happy to lay there and hold his brother.
"We should get up for breakfast, before Bobby thinks I smothered you in your sleep and escaped in the night." Dean whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind Sams ear. "Don't wanna." Sam mumbled, turning his head to lean into Deans hand. "Sore?" Dean asked, cupping Sams face as his other hand ran up and down his back. Sam shook his head "Just wanna cuddle." Dean knew Sam was still shaken by yesterdays events, and feeling guilty. So he did the one thing he could think of. Rolling them over he hovered over his brother, and leaned down. "Sammy, listen to me alright?" He asked, his lips trailing over Sams face as he placed feather light kisses. "Mk." Sam replied, closing his eyes.
"You're safe here. Yesterday wasn't your fault. -" "I know De but -" "But nothing. Yes you ran off, but you weren't expecting Lucas to be as dumb as to ignore our warning. You were upset, and for that I'm sorry. But no ones mad and you need to eat." Dean cut off any protests to that by sealing his lips over Sams, pressing his body down against his brothers slightly as his tongue ran over Sams lower lip. He nipped it lightly, smirking at the low moan Sam emitted before he pulled back, kissing the corner of Sams mouth when he pouted. "God you're so hard to resist." He whispered, nipping Sams neck. "Gods. Then don't." Sam moaned, fingers digging into Deans hips. "Tempting. But I said I'd give you time to heal Sammy. Now...Lets go get breakfast." He pressed one last chaste kiss to Sams lips before rolling off the bed.
Sam shot Dean a glare that was totally one of them 'If looks could kill' ones. Though he was glaring he too rolled off the bed and headed towards the bathroom "Yea well I get first shower." He shot over his shoulder, sticking out his tongue when Dean glared at him. "Like hell you do." Dean replied, stalking towards him. Sam smirked and bolted into the bathroom, quickly stripping off his boxers and slipping into the shower. Dean growled as Sam turned on the water, figuring he'd won. However Dean slid over to the toilet and grinned, before flushing the toilet and causing the water to turn cold. This of course caused Sam to screech like a girl – that he'd totally deny later – and Dean to laugh his ass off.
Sam stuck his head out of the shower and scowled "Jerk" Dean smirked and replied with "Bitch" The smirk still in place. He knew that if Sam was going back to their antics, that he just might be okay. Perhaps he really was tougher because of the life they live, he knows there are worse things out in the world then abusive assholes. Sure Dean wished it hadn't happened to his Sammy...but maybe, just maybe everything would be okay in the end. He didn't know how long it would be before Sam would really begin to heal but he knew he'd be there for him.
Half an hour later Sam exited the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. When he returned to their room, he found Dean laying on the bed, eyes closed but his breathing proved he wasn't asleep. Sam shuffled around, pulling on his clothes before heading towards the door. "For what it's worth. I've got your back." Came from behind him. He paused, turning as his mind churned flashing back to a time when he'd said the exact same thing to Dean. Lips twitched at this before he replied with "Yea. I know." Hoping Dean would remember too, before he turned and walked out of the room.
Dean watched as Sam entered the room, but when Sam started to look up, he closed his eyes. Simply listening as his brother shuffled around and got dressed. When the foot steps started to move away, towards the door he opened his eyes. "For What it's worth. I've got your back." Dean mumbled, watching as Sam paused and the corner of his mouth twitched before he replied. So Sam remembered too, even though he shouldn't... Worry begins to set in, had he scratched at the wall that Death put in his mind again? When had he done that? What happened? He forced himself to take a deep breath, Sam was fine...as fine as he could be, given the circumstances. But Dean would keep an eye on him, last thing he needed was to lose his brother again and this time...it could be forever. The last time he lost his brother, he didn't think he'd survive. No he didn't mean when Sam jumped into Lucifers cage, he meant when Sam left him without a word.
To wake up and find his brother gone, had scared him more then anything else. What if Sam was hurt, what if he was being tortured? He'd searched for months, looking for Sam and checking with other hunters. But eventually he had to accept the fact that either Sam was dead, or he just didn't want to be found. Dean had continued hunting, but he had changed. He no longer cared if some innocent died, why should their families be happy when his heart broke more with each day? Had he really been so horrible to Sam that he'd decided to flee in the night? Dean had become the ghost of who he used to be, and as he laid thinking back on those days he couldn't help but feel his heart aching. He shook his head to try and clear such thoughts. Sam was back, and he was safe. Dean would make sure he remained that way, and that he'd never find out about the damage his disappearance had done to Dean.
Pushing up off the bed he trailed after Sam, walking down the stairs to the main part of the house and into the living room where he found Sam and Bobby. "Breakfasts ready boys." Came Bobbies gruff voice as he stood up from the couch, leading the younger hunters into the kitchen even though they both knew where it was. After all they'd spent loads of time here, both as kids and as adults. Dean watched as Sam sat down at the table with a plate in hand, his attention grabbed when fingers snapped in front of his face causing him to flinch slightly. An amused Bobby handed him his plate, before taking his own and sitting down at the table across from Sam. This of course left the seat next to Sam open, and he rolled his eyes before moving to sit next to his brother.
As soon as he put his plate down, he watched in shock as Sam reached over and snatched a piece of bacon before popping it into his mouth. "Wha...tha...Sam!" He glared, reaching over to snatch something off Sams plate only to have his arm pinned to the table and a smirk sent his way. "Oh were you gonna eat that?" Sam asked in a totally innocent tone. Deans mouth dropped open as he stared at Sam for several minutes, with a 'deer caught in the headlights' expression which caused Bobby to laugh. "Son, close your mouth. You're gonna catch flies that way." Deans mouth remained open until Sams hand pushed it shut. "You. You. Little." Dean grumbled out, scowling at his brother. "I'll get you for that. Just you wait." He grumbled under his breath, before turning to his own breakfast trying to ignore Sams silent laughter.
Dean didn't know it, but Sam was trying to show him that with his help and support, he'd be okay in the end. Dean did what he had to do, and now Sam would do what he had to do in order to make it through the days. He knew however, with his rock beside him he'd be alright. Which was exactly what Dean was, Sams rock... He was strong, stable, hard...and always there. Sam knew he could grab onto his rock when he felt the currents getting to strong, pulling him down into depression. He knew his De would always be there to support him.
A/N: Well another chapter up. Dunno if I wanna end it here, and do a sequel or continue this one. R&R?