Chapter Five: By Your Side

It was still cold by the time when Gilbert awoke the next day. Even though the sun was just making it's way up into the sky, it was still cold. It was always cold.

Letting out a sigh, red eyes opened, slowly adjusting to the light that was shining through the open curtained windows. It seems that those didn't get closed the previous night, but Gilbert didn't mind. He had to admit that it was a nice sight to wake up to; just complete white.

The younger man felt fully refreshed, which was strange because he didn't recall feeling this much strength the last day. He had been wounded, severely, and almost on the cusp of death. But now, here at this moment, he felt like a new man.

But something didn't feel quite right though, which bothered him immensely now. He just couldn't place his finger on it yet. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as if they knew that some was wrong, or something bad was going to happen.

Rubbing his head, he sat up in the warm bed and moved the covers over off of himself. That was when he noticed that he didn't have any other clothes on and his pale skin was completely exposed. If anyone was to come in now, that would be rather embarrassing. He craned his neck, searching around the room to find his clothes.

He spotted his pants near the window and hopped up to get them. His balance was a bit wobbly and as he tried to take a step, he collapsed to the floor in a heap. Something was not right with his body. It suddenly began to hurt terribly and Gilbert had no idea why. It wasn't because of his wounds, since those were beginning to heal, but it was mostly the lower region of his body that started to ache.

Letting out a groan, he inched his way over to grab his pants and underwear. After pulling those on, he fell backwards onto the bed again. But his head hit something hard and he let out another groan.

Moving over, he saw a mound in the bed, buried under the covers of the bed. Following it up, Gilbert saw some light hair that lay messily against the white pillow. Gilbert slid back up to where he had just been sleeping and looked down, almost letting out a gasp in alarm.

Ivan was also in the bed with him, except he was still sleeping now. That was when the memories of what happened last night came fluttering back. All that he could really remember was the feeling of warmth. How warm he felt just being that close to the Russian. Who knew someone so cold could be so warm?

Gilbert's head lay back down on the pillow, still facing Ivan. He looked so innocent when he was sleeping, like he wasn't a care in the world. Of course, Gilbert knew that to be false, Ivan was a problem in the world, or mostly the start of them.

It just struck Gilbert now that he had just shared his bed with probably one of the most dangerous people of all time.

He should feel guilty. Hell, he should feel disgusted that he allowed Ivan to do all of that to him. Ivan had taken something from Gilbert that could never be placed back.

~
"You're a virgin, aren't you?" Ivan had said, smiling up at him once Gilbert's full body had been exposed. But Gilbert clutched himself up into something like a ball, trying to almost cover up a feeling of shame.

"N-No!" Gilbert spat back, avoiding eye-contact with him. He had to force himself to not look into those lustful purple eyes. He should be hating them, he should never have been looking at them in the first place. Now it was like looking at something he could never get.

Ivan's face was close to Gilbert's ear, making the smaller man shudder when he spoke. "Don't lie, Gilbert." He began, his hands were on Gilbert's chest again, trying to move the other's arms and legs down. "I know when you're lying."

"I'm not lying!" He tried protesting again, still keeping his head turned away, his face growing even more red now that it nearly matched his eyes.

"Can I..." There was a devious look in his eyes. "...take it?" He asked innocently, moving Gilbert's head forward so that now the two of them were staring into each other's eyes.

"What?! No!" Gilbert roared out. "No way, man! You're too scary! You should just back off, you freak!" He shook his head, trying to get out from underneath Ivan's grasp, but it was no use.

Pain flashed on Ivan's face as he moved backwards again. He got off of Gilbert and sat with his legs over the side of the bed, his head in his hands thoughtfully.

Gilbert sat up, propped up on his arms and looked cautiously at the taller man. But before he could ask what was up, Ivan spoke up.

"You think I'm scary?" His voice was quiet, almost hurt.

"What?" Gilbert moved a bit closer to him, looking at him with a concerned face. "Of course I do!"

Ivan didn't say anything more, but just turned his head away from Gilbert when he sat down next to him on the side of the bed.

"Well, I mean everyone does. Just look at Toris! After seeing how he acted today, I'm sure he's terrified."

Still nothing from Ivan.

That was when Gilbert decided that maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. Moving his head, he tried to get a better look at the Russian's face, but he couldn't see anything. Ivan's face was almost completely covered by his scarf. He was breathing heavily, but that was all that Gilbert could see.

Did he hit the wrong note? Gilbert wondered, feeling slightly guilty about being so harsh towards him just now. What should he do? Should he apologize? No, he couldn't do that, he wasn't that kind of person. Then again, he shouldn't be behaving this way towards Ivan like this.

"Yo, man, I-I didn't mean..." He tried saying, reaching over to grab Ivan's face and pulled it over to face him. Gilbert expected some resistance from the other, but there was none. Ivan's face just turned around, his purple eyes were full of hurt, it looked like.

He looked like a child who had just been told that his dog had just been ran over by a car. That caused sharp pain to be stabbed right through Gilbert's heart, almost feeling like it just shattered into pieces.

This was all his fault. He had to do something. But what?

He hated this feeling about seeing Ivan so unhappy like this. But he should be happy, he finally knew some way how to break the larger man down to size. This could be a vital piece of information to him and his brother for taking him down.

But he just couldn't bring himself to do that.

Just looking into Ivan's face like that reminded Gilbert of something.

Himself.

Ivan seemed like he was always alone, even though he was surrounded by people. He had never really had anyone to actually to be around with that didn't quake in fear of him.

Gilbert was also alone. No one wanted to be near him due to what he looked like. Who would love someone as hideous and a disgrace like him?

But Ivan had called him beautiful. That was the first time he ever heard someone tell him something that was positive. Even though it was from someone he was supposed to hate.

How could Gilbert really hate Ivan after he said that?

Gilbert had to find a way to make it up to him.

"Fine." Gilbert let out a sigh, bringing his head down, still trying to persuade himself to go forward with this. "You can take it." He saw Ivan's eyes light up with wonder. "But," Gilbert held up a finger. "You better be gentle." He jabbed the finger at Ivan's chest.

Ivan's eyes changed again. First, they were full of wonder. But then changed to shock once he realized what Gilbert was talking about, and the softened to just pure joy.

"Gilbert!" He yet out a yell of excitement, wrapping his arms around the other and they both fell back against the bed, burying his face into Gilbert's neck.

Ivan mumbled something then. It was something small, but had a great impact on Ivan, which Gilbert noticed as the other began to warm up.

But Gilbert had no idea what he said.
~

What did Ivan say? Gilbert wondered endless possibilities, but nothing came up that seemed logical. Maybe he could ask him when he would get up. Maybe he should just wake him up instead?

Gilbert's face had been towards the ceiling when he was recalling back the memory. So he turned to the side, looking back at Ivan again.

He was so cute and innocent when he was sleeping and Gilbert couldn't help but feel himself blush again. Even though Ivan was such a cold-hearted person overall, he really did have a heart in there somewhere.

Gilbert's hand moved from his side up to Ivan's face, stroking the soft skin of his cheek. Maybe it was just him, but Gilbert thought he saw a small smile tug on the Russian's lips, as though he knew that Gilbert was stroking the side of his face. The albino felt himself smiling back, leaning in closer to give him a small kiss on the cheek...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Gilbert froze as Ivan's eyes quickly opened wide. Their faces were about a few inches apart, staring at each other in terror. Neither of them spoke a word.

Then, there came a voice that made Gilbert's skin start to crawl.

"Big brother... I know you're in there, big brother..."