Okay so here it is the long awaited chapter four! WOOOOOH! and I posted it earlier than usual, yes I am working very hard for you guys, my readers, so you can enjoy yourselves to the fullest.

And well... this isn't a spoiler or anything but there is some strong language (at least for me) and since this is rated T I don't know if I should've beeped it out but you know they cursed in the movie 'puss in boots' and that's rated PG so yeah I don't know what's what anymore! Oh and one more thing, while your reading you are going to figure out that this chapter only has to do with the flash back of the past and stuff so there's no going back to present and stuff this isn't a spoiler either.

but anyways enough with me and stuff onto the story!

wait I dont remember the last time I did this but...

DISCLAIMER! I don't own any part of Hetalia so yeah

Have fun :)

CHAPTER CUATRO

The warmth of the bright light shining on my face woke me up. I opened my eyes as the flash of the sun hit me in the eyes. I lifted my hand to cover the light from my face as I looked around to see where I was. Confused I sat down, the blankets on me slid down my chest as I realized the fact that I was topless. Looking around I saw my long sleeved black shirt and my dark blue jeans that I had been wearing the night before thrown on the ground.

'Wait... If those are my clothes then what the hell am I wearing?'

I quickly looked under the covers and saw that the other half of my body was bare. Even though I was naked I didn't feel strange, actually I felt kind of happy at whatever the reason was for me to be in this situation now.

'Oh well.'

I rested my head back down on the pillow and took the quiet of the room. The walls were a shiny red that went along with the brown carpeting and the leaf-green roof on top. The room was occupied by a dark brown sofa with a floor lamp in the corner of the room. Next to me was an white wood night stand that matched the rest of the furniture in the room. It all felt homely and comforting to me, even though there was a slight throbbing in the back of my head. I didn't think, I didn't want to think I just wanted to be there and take in all the comfort it offered me.

Minutes passed and I was still lying there with a smile on my face not even knowing the reason why I was so happy, but whatever it was I liked it. Being happy and smiling is most of the time out of character for me but there was something that made me pleasant maybe it was all the booze I had drank the night before that was still in my system.

I shot up as soon as I thought about the night before.

'Where the hell did I end up?'

I studied the room again this time with more panic as it was all hitting me at once. The fact that I couldn't remember what happened after that one drink and that I'm not a tmy house, in my room, and I was naked in someone else's bed.

"Mmm." My head turned quickly at the sound that was made next to me under the covers. I saw moving and more noises came out of there as whoever it was woke up.

My head started spinning, I was so afraid of who was there and what had happened. What mistakes did I make to end up in such a situation? ]

I didn't know.

I couldn't think of anything. All I hoped was that whoever it was didn't get up and see me. I didn't want to know who it was either afraid of it being someone that I already knew.

The bed covers moved more and slowly a hand came out from under it.

Seconds passed and the hand remained unmoving. I breathed in deeply when I noticed I had stopped breathing the second that hand was out. I blinked at the sudden stillness of the room. Just when I was going to sigh at the thought of the person there still sleeping, the body sat up abruptly next to me. As the covers slid from his head, it revealed short dark brown hair, a tan muscular body, and very confused green eyes looking at me.

I gasped as I recognized who it was and only stared in shock of how it all ended up like this.

Those green eyes only stared right at mine with the same exact expression as me.

The seconds passed and the shock of the moment began passing, I took that chance to quickly take my leave.

No thoughts came to mind when I uncovered the rest of my body from the blankets and ran to get my clothes from the ground. I tried not looking at the figure in the bed still staring at me confused. I piled the clothes up in a ball before taking my shoes and running out the door. It closed loudly as I put my weight on it while I out my head against it to hear if any movement came out of the room. The seconds passed and I heard nothing. I began walking down the hall of the house to head for the exit as I tried managing to put my clothes on at the same time. I didn't look back at the room as I left. I tried not thinking of what was going on.

The house was messy; there were beer cans everywhere, food was on the ground and on the table, half drunken cups everywhere. I looked around at the house once again before walking out the door fully dressed; with shoes in hands.

As I headed for my house the heavy summer sun rays beat down on me. I looked at the time in my phone that I had found inside the back of my pants pocket. It read 12:34 pm. My head was throbbing even more loudly because of the sun and walking didn't make me feel any better.

I knew that I was avoiding it; I knew that I had to face it some time.

I was literally screwed and I not only in the literal way, but I meant I was seriously screwed. I didn't know if it was because of the alcohol still running through me or because my head hurt too much to think or maybe it was because there was no way to explain it.

But the fact that I had screwed Antonio that night was something I couldn't avoid. Yet I didn't feel bad about what happened. I felt a twinge of excitement build inside me. I knew that I loved him even though it was hard to admit. I had feelings for that tomato eating bastard and I didn't regret any of it.

'I just hope he feels the same way'

I was hopeful that he would be with me in the end since all that happened. I mean if he was willing to do it with me then that meant that he had to have some feelings, right?

Noticing that I was walking up the ramp that led to the door of the building I searched my pockets for my keys to my flat.

'Fuck I can't believe I left my keys at his house'

I looked once more through my pockets before sighing irritated. I sat down at a bench nearby the building as I held my phone in my hand deciding whether or not to call him. In the end I didn't have to. My phone vibrated loudly informing me that I had gotten a text message.

Hey you left your keys and wallet at my house; I'm sure your waiting for them so I'll come give them to you.

I lifted my knees up on the bench and stared at the text.

Where was the damn nick name that he always calls me whenever he texts me?

'Where is the stupid heart that he puts at the end of every message?'

'Why is this text different from the rest? '

'It's probably nothing, that damn idiot just probably forgot to in a rush to send the message.'

I wrapped my arms around my knees and lay my head on top of them, still holding onto my phone in between my hands. I let the minutes pass by as I waited for the Spaniard to arrive.

There was a tap on my shoulder; I jumped surprised at the sudden touch. I looked up nervously to see Antonio standing in front of me, worried.

There was only silence between us as we stared into each other eyes.

I think minutes had passed when he finally looked down scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

He cleared his throat before opening his mouth to speak.

"Umm… I brought your keys, Lovino." He said as he dangled the shiny metal keys in front of my face. I grabbed them and got up from the bench that I rested on. Quietly I walked next to him while walking towards the entrance.

I kept wondering when he was going to bring up the situation while I entered in the code to go inside.

The door beeped and opened. He held it open for me as I walked inside.

All the way up to my room on the eighth floor I glanced at him trying to figure out what exactly was going on in his head. As soon as we reached my apartment door I hesitantly put the key inside the knob and turned it.

When I had finally opened the door (which probably took like 3 minutes) I walked inside as Antonio walked behind letting the door close quietly.

I took my shoes off at the front and trudged slowly towards my couch, I sat down motioned him to sit down too. He hesitated for a second but he did so anyway.

I put my feet up on the couch and looked at him in the eyes ready for whatever he seemed to want to say.

Seconds passed and we still stared at each other.

Then the seconds turned into minutes; still nothing had been said. I sighed and stood up from the couch.

I looked at him and looked down as when I saw the sad expression on his face

"You want some coffee or something?" I asked still looking down at my feet.

"Si gracias." He said in a very gloomy voice. I speed walked out towards the kitchen trying to slow down my breathing and keep calm. Really the only reason I offered something in the first place was for an excuse to get out of the room. I couldn't stand being in there knowing that at any moment he would reject it all and tell me to forget about what happened.

I took two mugs out of the drawers and set them down on the table. I put some instant coffee in both cups before pouring some hot water that I had previously put to boil.

'Damn instant coffee, why does it have to make so quickly?'

I sighed and finished in the kitchen; trying to clean the tables ever so slowly.

I held the cups as I walked to the living room trying not to make of the liquid inside fall out as my hands shook violently from nervousness. I tried to hide it as much as I could as I handed him his cup and sat down holding my own. I sipped it slowly trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"Lovi, actually the keys and wallet aren't the only reasons why I'm here…" He set his cup down on the coffee table and sighed before looking up at me. "What I wanted to talk about was the um… 'incident' between us?" My chest felt heavy at hearing him describe it as 'incident'. Even though I still blushed at the thought.

"I don't know what happened the night before but I'm sorry for what happened,"

No

"I didn't mean for things to come out like this,"

Stop

"It was a mistake,"

Please

"It shouldn't have happened"

Don't say that

"I'm sure you feel the same way"

"AND HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FEEL?" I shot up yelling before I could stop myself.

He stared at me with a dumbfounded expression, but I remained the way I was, I knew that there was no turning back now.

"Umm… what?" He said still looking as stupid as ever.

"You don't know how I feel, you can't just assume that I fucking feel the same way you fucking do, dick head!"

"So how exactly do you feel?"

I blushed madly and looked away. "Th-that doesn't fucking matter, okay!"

"You say it doesn't matter but you're getting mad at me because I'm saying that it doesn't matter? How does that make any sense?"

"I can say if it matters or not, not you! You can't just assume something just because you fucking feel like it, you don't know my fucking feelings for yo-" I clasped both my hands abruptly on top of my mouth to stop me from saying anymore. He stared at me wide-eye knowing how I was going to end it. I swallowed up all my courage and spoke again. "Yeah bastard, now you know how I feel. I fucking said it. I'm tired of hiding it, so it is a fucking big deal that you screwed me and you don't feel anything for me." As soon as I said it I regretted it.

"I'm sorry Lovino," Sting "I didn't know you felt that way for me." Something was tugging at my heart knowing that there was no hope; no matter what I would do I wouldn't be able to change what we had said. Even though I knew that all this time it was unrequited love I didn't want to face it.

'This is what I get'

I sighed as I shook my head slowly while he was still blabbering about the fact that it was all mistake, that he didn't want to hurt me, and all that stupid shit. I spotted my house and car keys on the coffee table and grabbed them as I walked out the door leaving him inside to talk to himself.

As soon as the door shut behind me I broke into a run trying to get as much distance in between us as possible. I didn't know what I was going to do, my chest hurt so much.

'I just got rejected after having sex'

I felt really stupid at that point. I knew that he didn't feel the same, I always knew that. Even though, even though I still tried, I still hoped that he would return my feelings.

'I was so stupid to think like that, God I'm such an idiot'

Instead of taking the elevator I took the flight of stairs not having the patience to wait for one. I ran as fast as my legs could go (without trying to trip). When I reached the third floor I had to stop and take a breather from all the running. I began running again after seconds resting. I slammed myself against the exit door when I reached first floor and kept running, trying to get away from everything and leave it all behind. I didn't want to see his face again; I didn't want to have deal with such pain. I hated the fact that I was so stupid and thinking that just because we were together meant that we felt the same. Hell he probably was just in it because he drank too much alcohol and didn't know what the hell he was doing. I…I did it out of love; I probably willingly gave myself to him even though.

'I can't but say that I'm the stupidest most ridiculous man on Earth. I hate myself for this'

I panted and wheezed as I reached the parking lot spot for the apartment buildings. I took a three second breather (noticing that I needed to get back in shape) before I walked towards my red Ferrari 458 Spider (given as a birthday present from my gramps); it was in the corner of the third row of cars lined up. I hastily made my way to it as I took out the key for it beeping the car unlocked as I reached the driver's door (AU: I'm guessing that the new Ferraris still use keys and the beeping thinger that cars have). I slipped inside and after turning the key the car turned on with a soft purr.

I sighed, still breathing heavily while driving out of the parking lot. I didn't know where I was going to but I was leaving. I was going to run away, I was going to leave things the way they were and not fix them.

'Pssh, at this point there's no fixing or any shit. I'm done, it's over. I'm sure he's definitely never going to want to talk to me. Ever. Not that I wanted to see his damned face again either.'

I suddenly stopped at the stop sign thing before I ate it completely. My chest hurt so much even though I was telling myself these things.

'So why is it that my heart won't stop hurting so much?'

I felt like laughing out loud at all the cheesy shit that I was thinking, but the laughter never came out. Actually I felt the opposite of laughing, I felt like bursting into tears right about then. I wanted to let it all out.

The pain of being rejected, how much it hurt knowing that you were the only one that felt like there was a possibility. The fact that things would never go back to the way they were.

I accelerated the speed when I got to the highway knowing that wherever I was going it wouldn't have him in it.

I had been driving at least twelve hours because when I got back to my flat it was already midnight. I had been driving to no avail, my pain wasn't gone and neither were my feelings. I still felt the same crappy way as before.

I unlocked the door and walked inside shutting it silently behind me. The flat was dark and quiet, as expected, but deep inside me I wanted him to have stayed here waiting for me to come back.

'Me and my stupid thoughts. I really need to cut the crap and go to bed.'

I walked up the stairs towards my room and slowly opened the door, turning on the light in the process. The room revealed the coral colored walls, the maple wood furniture around the room, and what I want most of all, that beautiful bed with champagne colored sheets that looks so inviting that you just want to smother in them forever. And that's just what I wanted to do. I sighed in grief before going into the bathroom to take a hot shower.

As I took my clothes off I noticed the bruises on my body left by Antonio. I touched the bruises as I imagined his arms wrapped around the marks left by them. I blushed deeply and restrained my tears from spilling out.

'I need to forget about him and about this whole thing'

Erasing all thoughts from my mind I went inside the shower and turned the faucet on so the heating water could come out. As it began dripping on my skin I closed my eyes and felt as the warmth of the water made my muscles more relaxed as soon as it hit them.

I tried erasing from my mind everything that had to do with him and… well… us. I wanted to wash away the pain out of my system. I just wanted to forget even if it was only for a few seconds. At that point I just wished I had never met him in the first place, and then I could avoid all this freaking pain.

Time passed by and cold water began coming out. I decided to get out of the shower and go to bed seeing as I couldn't just stay in the shower for the rest of my life. I turned off the faucet and started drying myself out after getting a towel.

When I was all dressed and ready to sleep I looked at my bed tiresomely and dragged my legs towards it after turning off the light. I lay down and rested my head on the feathery pillows as I pulled the blankets over my shoulder. Closing my eyes my mind wondered over to him again asking itself the most stupidest questions like "Has he gone to bed yet?" or "Is he thinking about me?" better yet "Will he be disgusted because he knows that I enjoyed having sex with him?"

As I drifted more into unconsciousness hot tears streamed off my face and onto the pillows as I thought of him forever hating me.

I know what you guys are thinking "what the *beep*?"

I know I was the same really shocked me when they woke up together in the morning

Oh and I was thinking about doing something for that "wild night" of there's and you know all that smexy stuff

that went on with them but that's gona be in a separate thinger so you guys tell me if you want something

like that done 'cuz I'll be really into writing a smexy love scene L'onhonhon~

Oh and remember never forget...

REVIEW PLZ! I would feel special if you did and you know you want to that button is just so tempting so click it

give in to your desires wooooo~