Chapter IV: What She Wanted to Say

Azusa Nakano

"Well, just put the thing that you'd like to do most down," Nodoka-senpai said as we continued to discuss Yui-senpai's possible future profession.

"Something I like to do most…" Yui-senpai looked up in wonder. After a moment, "I know!" she exclaimed and looked at Ritsu-senpai, "Ricchan!"

"Ou!" Ritsu-senpai replied, seemingly in the same wavelength as Yui-senpai.

Without wasting another moment, Yui-senpai wrote on her senior's questionnaire and with Ritsu-senpai, stood up and marched to the door.

"Hey, Yui," Nodoka-senpai called as my other two senpais walked enthusiastically towards the exit, "What did you write down?"

"Maa, maa, Nodoka-chan," Yui-senpai gave her a sweet mischievous smile.

"You'll have to wait when it gets approved!" Ritsu-senpai continued.

"Are you sure about that, Ritsu?" Mio-senpai asked, her body turned towards the two.

Yui-senpai was already out the room while Ritsu-senpai held the door as she reassured, "Don't worry, Mio. We'll be back in a flash!" she closed it immediately.

For a moment, we all stared at where they had left, curiosity clear on our faces.

Mugi-senpai was the first to break the silence. "They seem pretty confident, aren't they?" she smiled brightly.

Mio-senpai just sighed, "I'm going to the bathroom," she announced as she stood up from her chair.

I also got up of my seat and told her, "Me too."

She smiled as she beckoned me to the door.

I held my hands under the water tap, letting them get wet by the running water. I had my handkerchief between my lips for easy access when I dried my hands. Mio-senpai was still inside the cubicle she entered.

We had gone to the nearest bathroom to our club which was the one on the third floor, just three or four rooms to the right of our clubroom. It had only been three minutes at most but I briefly wondered if Ritsu-senpai and Yui-senpai was already back.

My thoughts were interrupted when Mio-senpai came out. She went to stand beside me and started to wash her hands as I dried mine. We hadn't talked much since we left the clubroom and I couldn't think of anything to say so to start a conversation. I found the silence slightly awkward, though Mio-senpai didn't seem to mind—being around two noisy senpais everyday could do that to you.

I struggled to find something that could initiate a conversation but Mio-senpai beat me to it when she began to speak.

"Nee, Azusa…" she started as she kept her eyes on her hands, playing with the slow running water from the tap.

"Eh?" I turned to face her after she had called me, "What is it, Mio-senpai?"

For a moment, Mio-senpai didn't respond. I noticed her purse her lips before replying, "Do you think… I was too harsh when I told her that?"

My head cocked slightly in confusion, "Told who what?"

"When I told Ritsu that I didn't learn anything from her," she clarified, "that I shouldn't have asked for her help back then…"

I briefly wondered why Mio-senpai looked… guilty? Why was that?

Though I didn't understand why she was asking me such a question, I decided to answer, "Well, for a moment I did think it was too harsh. But when you told us that you were also thankful of Ritsu-senpai because she introduced you to music, I realized you were probably reminded of all the crazy things Ritsu-senpai did and that you probably didn't mean it like that."

"What about Ritsu then?" she added, her expression giving no indication that she believed what I had said, "I mean, didn't you see her cry? She was about to cry and—"

"Mio-senpai," I cut her off once I saw the face that she makes whenever she's getting near hysterical—or her version of it, "For one, Ritsu-senpai didn't really cry. She became a bit teary, I guess, but I think she was just being overly dramatic. You know how she is, Mio-senpai. Besides, I'm pretty sure she knew you were kidding back then."

She looked uncertainly at me and I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Y-you think so?" she asked in a very small voice as she looked at the ground.

I blushed lightly. Mio-senpai's moe was turned on again!

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts and responded, "O-of course, Mio-senpai. You're best friends, aren't you?"

A faint smile made its way to her lips, "Yeah… best friends."

For a moment, her eyes were glazed with thoughts I could only guess. But when it was over, she looked up, seemingly staring at nothing in particular and continued to talk.

"You already know how Ritsu and I became close, right?" she asked. It felt like I would be interrupting her if I answered so I merely looked at her, indicating I was listening. "Sure we were really close back then but the thing that made the friendship we have right now was our love for music. After we both decided on our instruments, she's no longer just my best friend. It feels like I couldn't ever live without her." She admitted, smiling fondly at something only she could see.

She laughed dryly, "I'm pathetic."

I blinked, wondering if I had heard her right, "Mio-senpai?"

"Since the day we became friends I've been relying on her," she told me as she stared at the sink, "She stayed with me. She protected me. And that moment when we first played together set me free. That night when we jammed, though we were still both beginners, it was the happiest moment of my life.

"She gave me that and so much more. She changed me. Because of her, I actually have confidence—even just a little bit. I'm not that meek and shy girl that never talked anymore. I have friends." She turned to me with a gentle smile, "I would never have known any of you guys if it wasn't for her.

"She's done so much and I've never even acknowledged it." She shook her head, returning her focus on the sink, "I'm such a hypocrite. I keep telling her to stop relying on me so much in homework or studying, but in the end… I'm the one who's been relying on her this whole time.

"I couldn't even tell her a simple 'thank you' for all that she's done for me." Her head was lowered, her bangs effectively hiding her expression from me, "I'm so stupid for ever saying that…"

Understanding what she was saying, I told her with a gentle tone, "Not stupid," she gave me a look, "…well, maybe a little…" I admitted, "But..." I quickly added, not wanting her to think that I actually think that she was stupid—in a bad way—for being mean to Ritsu-senpai—everyone knew her somehow tsundere personality.

I made a pause, hastily gathering up my thoughts once again, "But… you have to be a little stupid to become a good friend. I mean, don't you think that it's a bit stupid that Mugi-senpai kept serving us tea and snacks when it only makes our club lazy and dependent on her?"

She looked confused and I tried explaining more, "Isn't it stupid that even though I'm incredibly strict with Yui-senpai, she still looks forward to our lessons…sometimes?"—I had to add that because my guitar playing senpai really was rather lazy—"Or that even though she never listened to me, I still agree with teaching her a few things?"

I saw a small sign of comprehension in her eyes so I continued, "Or that even though you're always violent in punishing Ritsu-senpai, she never once left your side?"

She flinched, but I knew she had to hear the last one so I didn't stop, "Or that… even though Ritsu-senpai always makes fun of you… always tries to scare you or make you embarrassed… you still consider her your best friend?"

I gave her the most encouraging smile I could muster as she thought of it, "See? We're all pretty stupid in our own ways."

Slowly, she began to return my grin, "Yeah, I understand," she soon gave in to a small giggle, "I guess this means Ritsu is way stupider than me, huh?"

I laughed along with her, "In your view, I guess she is, Mio-senpai. But if Ritsu-senpai ever finds out about this, you'll end up in another argument."

We both burst out laughing.

After a few brief moments, she smiled at me again, "Thank you, Azusa."

I beamed at her, "Hai!"

Not a moment later, we decided to walk back to the clubroom. Wordlessly, I agreed to her unspoken request that our conversation inside the bathroom would never be spoken off again.

At least, she finally admitted—even if it was only to herself and to me—how much Ritsu-senpai really meant to her.

And those two words that she still felt compelled to say, I knew, would soon be said.

Author's Notes

Believe it or not, i really found this chapter hard to write... I kept thinking about how Azusa would normally respond and since i don't really understand Azusa's character that well, i kept doing the lines over and over and over again!

well, anyways, sorry for the delay! Yes, the usual excuse: school, life and basically the character XDD i still love you Azunyan!

Thanks to Fanamaniac for the correction again last chapter! :))

And the lines that appeared on the anime are all based on Coalguys subs :D

Is Azusa OOC? 0.0 sorry! as i said, i found it pretty hard to write with her character ^-^'

Any grammar checks? Mistakes? Questions? Comments?

Review!

I'll give you a cookie X3

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