The Figalillys Descend

What would you do if a balloon set down in your backyard with a couple of your wife's crazy relatives? And before you knew it, your house was filled with them? This is what Professor Hal Everett did.

When Hal Everett woke up the day before the Christening, it was to the sound of feet running down the hall and the baby crying because they had woken her up. Grumbling, he realized that Phoebe was up and out of bed, so the only thing that he could do was get up and get Maisie from the cradle. As he lifted her out, he realized that before they knew it, she would be too big for it and would have to be moved to the crib in the nursery.

As he took her out, Maisie looked up at him reproachfully.

"Sorry, Maisie," he said. "But if you're hungry then we'll have to go find Mummy. The one thing that I cannot do for you is feed you."

She looked back at him with her big blue eyes and cooed at him in agreement. Slinging her over his shoulder he went downstairs to find the house empty and the backyard full. Aunts Agatha and Justine had made their grand entrance. Not caring that he was still in his nightclothes, he went out to greet them. But they weren't the least bit interested in him.

"Let's see her," said Aunt Justine in her authoritative voice. "Let's have a look at Owen's first little grandbaby."

"Why do you say she's the first?" asked Prudence innocently.

"Oh, there will be more," said Aunt Agatha suggestively. "Won't there be, Professor?"

"Naturally," he replied as he walked over with the baby.

He held Maisie up to pass her over and Phoebe took her to show her to the aunts.

"A perfect Figalilly child, if I've ever seen one," Aunt Justine declared. "Blonde hair, blue eyes, even the little Figalilly nose."

"Everyone says that she looks just like Trelawney," objected Prudence. "And that Trelawney looks just like her Mum did. But her Mum wasn't really a Figalilly."

"Don't be impertinent, child," scolded the older woman. "She married a Figalilly and therefore she was a Figalilly. And I'll have no arguments on the subject."

"But . . ."

"Cool it, Pru," said her brother Hal quickly. "Don't forget to mind your elders."

"Ah, yes, young Harold," she said now turning her attention to the boy. "You always were the smart one of the bunch. Lots of common sense as well."

"Yeah, right," said Butch rolling his eyes.

Aunt Justine looked at him sharply.

"You, young man, appear to have done some backsliding in terms of your manners," she said. "We will have to do something about that, won't we?"

To everyone's amazement, Butch turned his back on her and walked away. Hal could see that Phoebe was mortified at his behavior. Instinctively he put his arm around her. Hal and Prudence stared. Even Maisie gave a little squawk of displeasure. Aunt Agatha shook her head.

"That young man needs a sit down," she said sternly. "And if he's not careful, then he's going to get one."

Everyone looked at her in surprise. Aunt Agatha was not one who was given to strict discipline.

"Or I could give him a good clobber," suggested young Hal helpfully. "Sometimes that can be even more effective."

"Hal . . ." he warned him.

"No, Harold," said Aunt Justine to his son. "Violence is not the answer. Young Bentley needs to be straightened out. If none of you are willing to do it, then Agatha and I will take him in hand."

Hal was about to argue that he and Phoebe were perfectly capable of managing the children on their own, but then thought better of it. It could be that a little, good old-fashioned English discipline was exactly what he needed. It might do old Butchie-boy a bit of good to be at the business end of Aunt Justine's tongue. The silence was interrupted by Maisie, who began to whine and tug at Phoebe's blouse.

"There, there, Maisie darling," she said walking back into the house. "Mummy hasn't forgotten you."

"Like she ever could," said Prudence, rolling her eyes. "Maisie always comes first."

"Well give your parents some time, dear," said Aunt Agatha soothingly. "Then Maisie will have to yield her position to another."

"Agatha, please," said Aunt Justine in exasperation. "Must you constantly refer to that in front of the children?"

"Refer to what?" asked Prudence, looking very bewildered.

Before Aunt Agatha could say another word, Hal announced that Maisie wasn't the only one who was hungry and that they should all get some breakfast before the others came.

"Oh, yes indeed," said Aunt Justine eagerly. "I believe that my brother David and his wife and Charles Trelawney will be here shortly."

"I won't even ask how you know that," replied Hal, shaking his head. "And the younger folks will be over after lunch.'

"Why Phoebe told us of course," said Aunt Agatha innocently. "How else would we have known?"

"How else would you . . ." he began to mutter, as he returned to the house.

Behind him, he could hear the two old women falling into gales of laughter, at his expense no less. He suspected that no matter how long he was married to Phoebe, the Figalillys would still view him as an outsider. Not that his family was any better. He knew that Bob and Ben had been looking forward to seeing Emmeline and Sylvia again. It was probably the reason why Bob had offered to put them all up in the hotel together.

When he got into the kitchen, he discovered that the breakfast table was at something of an armed standoff with Hal and Prudence sitting side by side on one side of the table and Butch by himself on the other. This was never going to do. Phoebe was anxious enough about all of her relatives coming without Butch adding to the tension. He sat down and pulled his chair next to Butch's. Butch turned his back on him and leaned on his elbow on the table.

"I think that it is time that we called a truce for the duration," he said.

"What duration?" asked Prudence.

"While the relatives are all here," explained his son Hal. "It's fine by me, but you have to talk to Bentley over there."

"Just shut up, Harold," said Butch testily. "Why do you have to be such a goody-goody?"

"It is hardly being a 'goody-goody,'" replied Hal. "To ask for a little civility out of you children. And I mean all you children."

"I'm always civil," said Prudence. "I'm even nice to everybody."

Butch rolled his eyes.

"That is exactly what I am talking about," said Hal. "I want you all to watch your tone of voice and avoid all eye-rolling and all other disrespectful forms of non-verbal communication."

"Why do you always have to talk like such a professor?" commented Butch to the air.

"Because I am a professor," he replied. "And I am doing my best to set a good example for you all."

"Cut the crap, Dad," said Butch insolently. "You don't mean you all, you mean me all."

"That will be enough, young man," said Phoebe from the doorway. "You will go to your room and remain there until you are ready to join the family as a respectful member."

Maisie seemed to cluck and squawk in agreement. Suddenly Butch turned to her.

"Just what I need," he said in disgust. "Another bratty little sister to put her two cents in every time I get in trouble."

Maisie looked surprised and then started to cry. Rolling his eyes, Butch left the room before anyone could say anything else to him. Hal was looking at Maisie in curiosity.

"Mom," he said. "Do you think that Maisie just understood what he said?"

Phoebe looked uncomfortable.

"No," she said. "I think that his tone of voice upset her."

"Why does Butch always have to be so mean to everyone?" asked Prudence.

"I don't know," Hal admitted. "I think that he may be going through some growing pains."

"What are growing pains?" she asked.

"Remember when you were jealous because you weren't the baby of the family anymore?" asked her brother. "For a while you were very cranky. Then you figured out that it was really cool to be the big sister. That was growing pains."

"Oh," said Prudence thoughtfully. "But I still don't get why Butch is so nasty."

"I wouldn't necessarily say nasty," interjected Phoebe.

"I would, Mom," said Hal. "I would say that he is being downright obnoxious."

"And very rude and disrespectful," added Prudence.

"Before this turns into a third person insult competition," said Hal raising the volume of his voice. "Let's put a stop to it now."

Prudence giggled.

"Butch is right about one thing," she said.

"And what is that?"

"You do sound like a professor when you yell at us sometimes," she answered mischievously.

"I was not yelling," he said with an edge in his voice. Then he looked around.

They were all trying very hard not to laugh at him. Except for Maisie, who was staring at him solemnly as she always did.

"I guess I do sound like a professor sometimes," he admitted. "But I was not yelling. I was . . . er, talking loudly."

"Whatever you say, Dad," said Hal as they all started laughing.

It would have been a great start to what promised to be a happy day. The only dark cloud on the horizon was his son Butch and his bad attitude. He could understand how he was mad at him for ignoring him and not appreciating him in the past. He was even willing to admit that he had favored Hal on more than one occasion. But this grudge had been going on for almost three months now and Butch seemed no closer to letting them resolve it and move on than before. In fact, he seemed to be getting worse.

Something was clearly feeding his discontent, but he had given up trying to figure it out. He could see that it was bothering Phoebe. He knew that she was afraid that it would affect Uncle David's decision about letting Trelawney come home to them. But he also thought that she was forgetting something. Uncle David had three sons of his own and from what he understood two of them had certainly given him a run for his money. He personally thought that her uncle would probably understand the situation better than they did.

After breakfast, Phoebe marshaled all the children including Butch and himself into a cleanup crew. Despite the fact that she had scrubbed the house from top to bottom the day before, the clutter had begun to accumulate again. Walking around with Maisie on her hip, occasionally adding her own little "commentary," she went from room to room giving orders and inspecting everything that they claimed was finished.

"Gee, Dad," said Hal. "It really does look like the old Mom is back."

"What do you mean, son?" he asked.

"Well," he said. "I mean, it's been a long time since she's been so bossy and stuff. I kind of like it."

"Me too," he answered. "But don't say it too loudly or you'll find yourself doing even more chores."

"Oh, yeah," he replied with a nod. "When do you think that Uncle David will tell Trelawney that she can come home?"

"It can't be soon enough for me," he replied. "Or her, I think. There's got to be something that will get her out of her doldrums. I just don't know what has gotten into her."

"I think I do," whispered Hal.

"Oh, and what might that be?" he asked curiously.

"I think that she has a crush on Topher and is upset because he has a new girlfriend," he said.

"Well," he replied. "I would say that I agree. I would also say that that is just about the worst kept secret in town right now."

"You're probably right," said Hal. "But I still feel bad for her. Is there anything that we can do?"

"I don't think so," he answered. "In fact, I don't know much about these things, but it would probably be best if we stayed out of it."

Hal nodded.

"That's what Sharon said," he replied.

"Well, since Sharon's a girl," he said. "I am sure that she knows better than either of us."

Hal did have to get a kick out of his son, discussing little Trelawney with his girlfriend and then freely admitting it. Of course, after two years, Trelawney was almost like another younger sister to him. More than one time, Hal had commented about how glad he was that Trelawney was happy at her new school.

Of course this was beneficial to Hal who would not have to worry about her at the high school. Then he heard the sound of footsteps coming through the front door. Yes, Phoebe was certainly back to her old self. The doorbell had not even rung and there she was opening it. He made his way from the kitchen to the front hallway.

"Oh, Hal, splendid," said Phoebe. "You know Uncle David and Uncle Charlie of course. May I introduce you to Auntie Anna?"

"I'm very pleased to meet you," said the older woman.

She definitely had the look of Trelawney about her. She had the same slim, but certainly more sturdy build, and her blonde hair was shot through with silver. She even had the same light blue eyes, however they sparkled with warmth and intelligence. But she quickly turned her attention to the baby. Phoebe handed her over.

"Now little Margaret Mary," she said. "Let's have a look at you. Yes, blonde hair, blue eyes, sweet little nose. Oh, what solemn expression you have. Well, that's definitely your own. Yes, I would definitely say so. This one is quite definitely like Trelawney. Have you pulled out the old pictures to check?"

"Yes, we have Auntie," laughed Phoebe. "And yes, the resemblance is amazing."

"Well, if she looks like Trelawney, then she'll look like our Meg as well," said Annabel. "Imagine that."

"I think that you look like Trelawney too," said Prudence.

"Oh dear!" said Phoebe. "Where are my manners? This is Prudence, Hal, and . . . Oh, where is Butch?"

"He took off as soon as you assigned the chores," said young Hal. "My guess is that he's gone over to his friend Sam's house."

"Two blocks over," said Hal. "Son, I hate to ask but . . ."

"Go ahead and ask, Dad," said Hal. "I'll see if I can round him up. But I won't make any promises."

"After what he said the aunts before," tattled Prudence. "Then you might not want to. Maybe he's hiding."

"That's a daring young fool," commented Uncle Charlie. "This is new for him, isn't it? I would have remembered such a one from my last visit if I had met him."

"I want to go see my aunties," interrupted Trelawney who had been silent up to this point. "I expect that we have to go to them if we want to catch up."

"I would expect that you are right," said Hal quickly and led them through the house.

"Thanks, little one," he said quietly to Trelawney. "You saved your sister from a bit of embarrassment."

"I know," she replied. "But if Butch is not careful, Aunt Justine will box his ears. She's only got but so much patience with cheek."

"And don't you know it," he said in return.

She gave him a glimmer of a smile and ran ahead. By the time they got out there, she was already leaning against Aunt Agatha who was clucking over her. No doubt, Aunt Agatha had ascertained the problem the minute she saw her and was offering comfort. Ignoring them, Aunt Justine had climbed out of the balloon and came forward to greet her brother.

"Now David," she said formally. "You are looking very well. And Annabel, dear, of course you had to grab the baby first. I'm teasing, love, don't look so bothered. And Charlie, how's the old goat doing?"

"I didn't know that you had a goat, Uncle Charlie," said Prudence.

They all laughed.

"I was referring to James Trelawney, dear child," she said.

"And if ever there was an old goat, it was him," affirmed Aunt Agatha. "Hello to you all, and how was your flight?"

"Very noisy," replied Aunt Annabel. "And bumpy."

"Well, love," said Aunt Justine. "Just say the word and we'll return you quietly home. It's been ages since we've been back to the village."

"Ages," agreed Aunt Agatha. "Tell me, is my old beau Roger still there?"

"Your old beau Roger is a grandfather himself," replied Uncle David with an impish grin. "Sixteen at last count, wasn't it, Annabel?"

"And two on the way," she nodded. "Oh, don't look so downcast, lovey. It really has been an age since you've been back. Time stands still for none of us. You wouldn't have wanted him pining away all these years now, would you?"

Hal thought that that was exactly what Aunt Agatha would have liked him to do. But she turned her attention back to Trelawney.

"Well dearie," she said. "You and me will have to have a good chat, then, won't we?"

"Yes, we will, Auntie," she replied seriously. "I just knew that you would understand."

Aunt Justine rolled her eyes.

"Well before you two go off and unburden your souls together," she said. "Let's get down to some important business. Now, Trelawney Rose, how are you doing at your new school?"

"Doesn't waste a minute, does she?" muttered Hal to Uncle David.

"Never did," he mumbled. "You'd think that she was materfamilias or something."

"It is lovely," replied Trelawney politely. "I like it ever so much more than public school. The girls are all very kind and the sisters are quite patient with me."

"Very good, very good," she nodded in approval. "And how are the grades?"

"They are quite good as well, aren't they, Mama Kate?"

"Yes," said Mother. "She had an excellent report card. Even in math and science."

Aunt Justine had looked displeased at Trelawney's reference to Mother as Mama Kate. But, thought Hal in annoyance, where was she last year when the child was in dire need of someone to love and care for her? There had not been a Figalilly in sight. He realized that Aunt Justine knew what he was thinking by the way she was staring at him, but he didn't care. She was the one who had nearly traumatized the girl two summers ago.

Before anyone could say anything else, Hal returned to the yard with a very reluctant Butch in tow. If he doesn't watch, thought his father, he will get his ears boxed. He may end up sorry that he hadn't let Hal clobber him earlier.

"And this is Butch," said Phoebe with a forced cheerfulness. "This is my Auntie Anna and of course you have already met Uncle David and Uncle Charlie."

Butch looked around at them all defiantly. Annabel refused to be deterred.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Butch," she said pleasantly. "Phoebe has told us so much about your skill at baseball."

"Oh, yes," Trelawney jumped in, trying to be helpful. "Butch is an absolutely splendid pitcher. Why he was even named most valuable player for it in his summer league."

Now Butch looked uncomfortable. He could not continue his present behavior without seeming churlish. Finally, some of the manners that he had been taught kicked in.

"Yes, ma'am," he said politely. "And I'm pleased to meet you as well."

Maisie cooed in approval and he gave her a very odd look. Then he turned.

"May I please go in and wash my hands?" he asked.

"Of course, son," said his father.

After he entered the house everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Poor lad," said Annabel. "He's quite troubled. Perhaps you could have a word with him, David."

"Aunt Agatha and Aunt Justine want to have a sit down with him," said Prudence tattling once again.

Annabel looked at her sharply.

"Young lady," she said. "I have three daughters who were all very good tattlers in their day. That's twice in ten minutes. If there's a third time, you'll have a sit down with me."

Prudence opened her mouth to object, but Phoebe shook her head at her. Hal was amused by the way his wife's extended family all jumped in, without being asked, to help with the children's discipline. It actually reminded him of Phoebe's disciplinary style when she had first come. Now he knew where she had learned it. He decided to keep his ears open for a few pointers.

The one thing that he had noticed was that none of them ever let fresh remark go unmentioned. They dealt with it quickly and firmly, and then moved on. He wondered if perhaps his lecturing style of discipline was ineffective because after a while they stopped listening (usually before he had made his point). He realized that if he really wanted to help Phoebe he might try this tactic.

But if he thought that things were a little crazy when the aunts and uncles had arrived, the cousins created even more madness when they came in. The seven of them drove up in a pair of rather elegant vehicles, rented of course by his brothers, who showed up in their own cars. Uncle David looked at them in something approaching dismay.

"What the bloody hell is all this?" he said in great annoyance. "Haven't you children ever heard of car pooling before?"

"I knew that you would take my side in this, Dad," said Lewis rather officiously. "Once you got a look at the situation. Ben rented Sylvia car so that she could make a few visits, so of course Liam had to have the same for himself."

"Well that figures," David grumbled. "Now what are we to do about it?"

"Well, I propose this," he began.

"Leave it to Mr. Solicitor here to come prepared with all of his legal arguments," interrupted Liam.

"As, I was saying," continued Lewis. "I believe that we should leave one of the cars here with you and Mum. That way you won't be imposing too much upon the Everetts."

"That's not a bad idea," commented Rob. "Things were going to be very tight getting everyone over to the church tomorrow morning."

"Hmm, that's not a bad idea at all, son," said Uncle David. "There'll be plenty of seats in the other three cars to bring you lot over to the church then, won't there?"

Hal was amazed by the fact that none of his children disagreed with him. He had met almost all of them. And he knew that they all had very strong personalities. However, none of them were inclined to challenge their father's judgment. He guessed that this obedience in adulthood was the result of the kind of childhood discipline he had witnessed a couple of hours earlier. Yes, he was certainly going to have to be on the watch for some pointers.

Trelawney however had always disliked tension and upset. To distract everyone she spoke up.

"Why Cousin Jimmie," she said. "It's been an age! You're looking very well. And Mary, my how you've grown up!"

The latter remark was made with a hint of mischief in her voice. She had not seen Mary Chenoweth in two years, when Mary herself had still been a schoolgirl. Now she was engaged to marry Liam. She did not look especially pleased by Trelawney's observation.

"And of course you both must meet the family," she went on. "This is the Professor and Hal, Butch, and Prudence. And of course, the babe in Auntie's arms is little Maisie. I expect by this time next year you'll have one of your own, Liam!"

Emmeline was suddenly overtaken by a coughing fit. Mary's face flamed as red as her hair. The others seemed to feel a bit awkward as well. She had delivered her pronouncement in her typical wide-eyed, innocent way. However, because of Trelawney's gift of second sight it was impossible to tell if she was teasing or prognosticating. She was looking self-satisfied about something, but who could tell what? Even Phoebe, who was closest in mind to her, seemed at a loss.

Luckily, Uncle Charlie decided to help them get passed the tight spot.

"So, boys and girls," he said cheerfully. "Can I buy anyone a drink?"

His remark broke the tension and the group began to talk among themselves. Annabel had not seen her daughters in a while. David began to chat with Jimmie and Lew, while Johnny came over to admire the baby. His three, to his mortification, immediately descended upon their uncles demanding the much-anticipated presents. Liam went with Charlie and Hal to get the drink orders. As they went out to the kitchen, out of the corner of his eye, Hal noticed that Mary had been caught by Aunts Agatha and Justine.

"So, Liam," asked Hal, trying to sound as innocent as Trelawney. "Does Mary know the aunties well?"

"Doesn't know them at all as far as I know," he said. "It's been an age since they've been home in the village."

"So we heard earlier," said Hal, unable to hide his smile.

"Yes, I'm afraid that point was brought home when your Dad informed Agatha that her old beau was now a grandfather," said Uncle Charlie.

"Oh well," said Liam cheerfully. "They'll give her the once over and Aunt Justine will declare her fit to be a Figalilly wife, while Aunt Agatha waxes romantic over the ginger hair. She'll survive. It'll be a way of her paying for that trousseau she weaseled out of Bob earlier."

"Trousseau?" chorused Hal and Charlie.

Liam smirked.

"Little minx caught the prey in her sight and went in for kill," he replied. "What is it that your man P.T. Barnum said? There's one born each minute?"

"This, I have to hear," said Hal.

"Well it goes like this," said Liam. "One minute we're all going on about the cars, and of course the girls are both making of fuss over Ben there. So your brother Bob, now he's got to get into the act. Starts talking about a little shopping trip, you know making sure that they're all properly outfitted for the big event tomorrow."

"I can see where this is going," commented Hal.

"Yeah, well, so old Bobby, he offers to take the girls out to some fancy shop while Ben takes me for the car," he replied. "Then, well, you can get the blow by blow from Em. Sweet, little Mary goes along and of course she's never been out of the village before. Em says her eyes are nearly popping out of head at the clothes she sees. So Em and Syl get themselves each a new dress for the occasion. But Mary, well Mary, starts trying on so many that she can't decide."

"And then Bob buys them all for her," finished Hal.

"And a few other things," added Liam. "Including a set of luggage because it'll be the only way that we can transport the lot back to the village. Her Dad'll be glad when he sees it. It'll save him a few quid."

"I can see Emmeline encouraging her, but I'm a little surprised at Sylvia," said Charlie.

"Oh Sylvia may be the little angel of the family but she's got a sense of humor," he said. "She and Emmeline were fairly bursting by the time they got back."

"Why is that?" asked Hal.

"Because your brother spent all that money on the one girl that's already been taken, so to speak," he said. "You know, not up for grabs, you might say."

"Well, Bob won't miss it," said Hal, shaking his head. "In fact he probably doesn't even know how much he spent. His accountant will pay the bills and he won't think about it again."

"Hey!" said Emmeline, as she came in. "Where are those drinks you went after? I could use a pint after my chat with Mum."

"Help yourself," said Hal. "We were just discussing your little shopping trip."

She laughed and grabbed a Guinness. She turned to leave and then grabbed another.

"For Mary," she said briefly. "She looks like she's in need of some fortification."

Having survived his own grilling by the aunties, Hal had no doubt that that was true. If you had to listen to them both talking to you at the same time after a while it made your head spin. He wasn't sure of which was worse, Aunt Justine with her authoritarian tone or Aunt Agatha with her innuendos. And of course even though they never meant to cause trouble, they somehow never seemed to be able to avoid it.

Liam grabbed a few more bottles and headed out to the living room to distribute them. Hal turned to Uncle Charlie.

"Just out of curiosity," he said. "Can Mary do it too?"

"The second sight, do you mean?" he asked. "Yes, just about all in the village can, to one degree or another. The only ones who can't aren't native to it, you see. It's a part of our nature that has been passed down for centuries."

"You know," he said. "I can't help but wonder. Is your village the only one that's like that?"

"Well," he replied. "Since you've married into it you might as well know. Although I don't see why you don't just ask your wife, you know. It's a part of our Celtic nature. There are a few villages such as ours in Cornwall and Wales and Ireland, even in Scotland I hear. There was a one in Brittany, you know, on the coast of France, but I hear that they died out.

"None of them are in the new world that I know of, although maybe in Nova Scotia some say. There's not many like us anymore. And there'll be fewer in the future. There's more that like to roam than stay at home. And there's been more of these mixed marriages."

"Like Phoebe's?"

"Yes and no," said Charlie carefully. "Phoebe's a good girl. She wasn't one to let herself be distracted by the outside world. She had every intention of doing her duty when the time came. It was fate that intervened. Some of those that marry outside our kind are just looking to escape. They don't take to the traditions and customs. When Phoebe eloped we thought that she was one of those. We're glad that we were wrong."

"I'm glad that you realized that you were wrong," Hal said. "She can never turn her back on her roots. I wouldn't want her to. There's a lot of good, old-fashioned values in your culture that are absent from the world out here, not to mention a deep faith in God."

Uncle Charlie nodded.

"That's what pastor says at home," he replied. "He says that our young folk are needed out here to spread a good example. Young Sylvia is certainly one of those that do. You'll never meet a kinder heart than our Syl. Young Jimmie would be a better example if he weren't so impressed with his own piety. Now, Em, she's a funny one. Does good work in her own way, but won't talk none about it. She's got her reasons for being such as she is. But she'll never let on to us."

"Well Ben and Bob did their darnedest to find out," said Hal.

"Yeah, old Bobby was too much putting the private investigator on her tail," he laughed. "Waste of money, you know? She led him on a merry chase and then sent him down a dead end. Scandinavia, my arse! It's a part of our nature. We never let anyone know too much about us. It keeps us out of trouble if you know what I mean."

Hal did know what he meant. He was still not sure of how John and Liam had managed to untangle themselves so neatly from the unicorn situation wit the police. For now he decided to go back out to his guests and watch the fun. Uncle Charlie had been one of his best sources of information on the family in a while. But he decided to end the conversation before he realized that he was pumping him.

"So why don't we bring these out to the rest of them?" he asked. "I'm sure that everyone must be a little thirsty by now."

"More than thirsty, if you ask me," replied Charlie, with a wink.

When they returned to the living room, Hal sensed that things were getting a little warm, and crowded. He encouraged them all to go out to the backyard. Even though the balloon was out there, there was still plenty of room to stand or sit around and chat.

No sooner did they all arrive out back, when Prudence came running up.

"Where's Uncle Alfred?" she asked impatiently. "Everyone is here but him."

"And this is a problem because . . . ?" he asked in amusement.

She rolled her eyes.

"All of these relatives are so old and boring," she complained.

"I thought that you were pretty happy to see Uncle Bob and Uncle Ben there," he replied.

"Well," she said indignantly. "As soon a we got our presents, they started ignoring us to pay attention to Emmeline and Sylvia."

"Can't say that I blame them," commented Uncle Charlie mischievously.

Hal looked at him in exasperation, Prudence in confusion.

"But they're my uncles, not theirs," she whined.

"Right now I don't think that they are considering themselves uncles," explained Uncle Charlie. "But let's let them have their fun while it lasts. As for Alfred, he comes and goes as he pleases. And he'll show up when it pleases him, and not a minute before. Look, why don't you and me play a little game of something?"

"Do you play chess?" she asked eagerly.

"Why, yes, I've played a few games in my day," he replied. "You don't tell me that a little girl like you knows how to play chess?"

"Daddy taught me a little while ago," she said proudly.

"Well then, why don't we go in and have ourselves a little game?" he suggested.

After she ran inside to set up the board, Charlie turned to him.

"Be back in a jiff!"

That's what you think, thought Hal to himself once he had left the yard. Little Prudence has gotten quite good. Among other things her moves were very unpredictable because of her strategy of making "pretty designs" with the pieces. If Uncle Charlie was a good player himself, the game could go on for quite some time.

As for Uncle Alfred, Hal wouldn't be in the least bit disappointed if he had gotten lost along the way. However, with all of the children coming tomorrow he could be very useful at providing the entertainment. And maybe even Butch would come around. Right now, he was standing off to the side with a very bored expression on his face. Hal was having a lively discussion with Lewis about something. Since Lewis had attended the science fair last spring, he no doubt had asked him about his summer program.

Mother meanwhile was presiding over a table that included Aunts Annabel, Justine, and Agatha. Completely oblivious to the undercurrents around her, she was enjoying playing the grande dame hostess and "bonding" with the other ladies of her generation. That was why she had insisted on this nonsense after all. She would probably be the only one who would be sorry when it was over.

To be continued . . .