After the party, I decided to lay low, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself, not like I ever do anyway. I just thought that too much face time with Axel would end up brining out more humiliation and social awkwardness than I could afford, so I made it a goal of mine to avoid him.
Of course, that plan can only work so well when you're dorm neighbors with the guy you're trying to dodge.
Naturally, about four days after the party, as I was leaving for class, Axel met me in the hallway.
"Hey Blondie, it's been a while." He gave me his flawless smile.
"Yeah," I made it apparent that I was acting elusive intentionally.
"So what are you up to?" Of course Axel tried to start a conversation.
"Going to class," I said, smiling internally when I realized that I had an excuse to flee the scene.
"Which one?" Axel didn't let up.
"Sociology." I looked down the hall: my destination.
"Is that your major?" Axel asked, seemingly interested, which only made it harder to break away.
"Minor." I corrected him.
"Oh ok, cause you don't come across as the 'social' type." Axel chuckled as I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I have to go or I'll be late." I cleared my throat.
"Alrighty, have fun Blondie." Axel patted my shoulder before he left to enter his dorm.
I went to sociology, a two hour class, and when I came back, it was nearing dinner time. My stomach was growling wildly during class, and I kept myself awake and focused by dreaming about the microwavable food I had stashed in my dorm.
I walked up the stairs, onto my floor, ready to pig out and pass out for the rest of the night when I saw that Axel's door was wide open.
"Yo, Blondie!" Axel waved me in, so I let out a tame sigh before I leaned against the doorway.
"Yeah?"
"Have you eaten yet? I was about to go make a run for dinner when I saw you in the hall," Axel was slipping into his shoes as I gulped.
"Oh, um, no, I'm fine," I lied, but of course, my stomach growling gave me away.
"Yeah, sure you are," Axel laughed at me. "Come on, my treat,"
"No, it's ok, I have homework," I brought up the most famous of excuses.
"Well so do I, but you have to eat sometime, might as well make it now." Axel shrugged.
"Really, I must decline, I'm sorry," I turned to enter my room, but Axel grabbed my arm and dragged me back down the stairs.
"So, where do you want to go?"
"I don't know, you're the one who's forcing me to come." I mumbled.
"Oh quit acting like you're angry. You know you wanted to come deep down inside." Axel either saw right through me, or was calling my bluff all too easily.
I had nothing to say to that, so I remained quiet.
"They say silence is a confession." Axel whispered as we walked through the student car parking lot.
"Who's 'they'?" I asked, just to look innocent.
"I don't know." Axel shrugged.
"Well not a very reliable source then, is it?" I smirked, loving how my random moments of intelligence come when I need it most.
"What are you, a law major?" Axel chuckled as he got his keys out of his pocket. I was shocked and yet not at all when I saw the lights to a sleek, black, mustang go off.
"That's your car?" I asked, wondering why I was so surprised. He totally came off as the prick who would own such a car, with black leather interior and the latest navigation system.
"Yep," Axel walked to the passenger side and opened my door.
"Thanks," I said quietly, getting into the low sports car.
"I try to be a gentleman; it goes a long way." Axel shrugged before he got into the drivers spot.
"Do you usually go off campus for food?" I asked, partially curious, but mostly just trying to keep away from the awkward silence.
"Yeah,"
"Alone?"
"Well, usually I go with my buddy Demyx, but he's away with his swim team competing."
"So I'm his backup?" I asked, anxious to hear his response.
"Oh come on Blondie, don't look at it that way. Like I said at the party, you're always welcome. I just don't ever see you, don't have your number, and the few times I do see you, you're so sneaky about hiding."
"Am not," I looked out the window.
"Whatever you say little man," Axel kept his eyes on the darkening road.
The drive turned quiet, and I hated it more than I hated his criticism.
"So," I tried to think of a way to end the unnerving silence.
"What?" Axel asked, as if he expected me to say something interesting.
"Where are we going?"
"I'm thinking burrito's, is that ok?" Axel asked and I nodded.
"That's good."
"Yeah," Axel coughed. "Oh, do you want to get a couple drinks?" He asked but I shook my head. Me drunk is awful. Me drunk alone with Axel? That's just asking for it.
"No thanks."
"Do you mind if I do?" Axel asked and I looked at the steering wheel.
"You want to drink and drive?"
"It's not like I'm going to get hammered." Axel chuckled so I shrugged.
"Do what you want."
"Usually I'm the sober one, giving rides, but now that my drinking buddies are all busy, I'd like to enjoy my time."
"Drinking buddies?" I asked.
"Yeah, you know, Marly and Xiggy and Luxy? We usually all go out drinking together, but every now and then one will cancel."
"I see," We continued to make small talk about classes as we got our food, and decided to bring it back on campus, probably due to the uneasy expectations of a conversation that wasn't happening.
"Ok, you win, no alcohol." Axel teased after he paid for the food, even though I offered to cover at least my meal.
"Good," I remained short, as was part of my plan to avoid any awkwardness.
"You know," Axel started as he started his car up to return back to campus.
"Hm?"
"I like hanging out with you. There are few people I enjoy being around while sober, and you're one of them." Axel smiled at me, so I took his compliment.
"Thank you." I could feel a fuzzy moment coming, so I tried to work around it by dodging the bullet.
"Do you mind if we put some music on?" I asked.
"Go ahead," Axel pushed a button before vulgar music started. I gulped as lyrics about steaming shower sex fogged my mind. The singer was adamant about putting images of enticing and arousing body parts into the desires of any listener.
"Sorry, I don't usually listen to this shit, but Xiggy does." Axel turned the dial, but by then it was too late. My heart was already pounding, my body yearned for skin contact, and I could feel my pants begging for freedom. I cleared my throat. Fuck. I get hard so easily, it's quite pathetic. It had always been my number one shame, but it was always beyond my control.
"It's fine," I fidgeted in my chair.
Thankfully the music drowned out all need for cheesy conversation, but Axel continued to glance over at me every red light, asking me if I was ok as I nodded through flushed cheeks.
I hated myself for thinking about doing such disgraceful things with Axel, but my mind was already lost in a fluid and pleasing fantasy of enjoying the company of a naked redhead.
"Here we are," Axel parked and I rushed out the door. "Hey, take it easy Blondie," Axel laughed at me as I hurried back into our dorm building.
"Thank you for dinner," I said, handing him the munny to pay for my meal.
"Don't worry about it," Axel smiled at me as we got into the elevator together.
"I'll take the stairs," I walked to leave, but Axel grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me to his side as the doors closed.
"Don't be ridiculous." Axel rolled his eyes at me before we rode up several flights.
"Well, thanks again," I said before I bolted down the hall.
"You're welcome to eat with me in my dorm," Axel offered, but I shook my head.
"I'm afraid I'm already behind with my homework." I gulped.
"Look, Blondie," Axel said, his voice stern and serious, so I decided to face him and look him in the eye for the first time all night.
"Yes?"
"I'm just trying to be nice. The whole floor knows you don't have any friends here. It's obvious that you're alone and scared of people. If you want to stay that way, just let me know so I can stop wasting your time, and mine." Axel unlocked his door and went into his dorm. I looked down into my arms, full of my burrito and some chips before I slowly entered my room.
When the door closed, I dropped my food on my desk, wishing there was some way around all of this confliction inside me. All Axel wanted to be, was a friend, and that hurt for two reasons. It hurt, because I was rejecting his kind and innocent offer. What hurt the most, was knowing that friends was as much as we could ever be.
I wanted to be his everything, and yet, I wanted to be his nothing. Nothing. Isn't that what I am to so many people? One could easily say that it's my own damn fault for not having friends, but it's only because I watched myself get replaced by everyone else that I resorted to such a dramatic form of isolation. It's not like I woke up one day and decided I'd lose all my friends. They all ditched me. They all replaced me. And now here I am looking like some pathetic waste of life, when all I ever wanted was to be noticed. Since I can't get what I want, I might as well accept it. Better yet, I might as well embrace it, welcome it, and get used to it. At the very least, it might make this loneliness a bit easier.
I sighed, realizing that my erotic stimulation was subsiding as a result of all of the deep thinking I was doing.
I didn't want to be alone anymore. But I just can't afford to be forgotten one more time. Not again. Not by him.
Author's Note: Things have been pretty busy but I managed to write this chapter in about an hour, so I figure I'll just post it now before I forget and get busy with my other stories. Overall life has been alright, full of lots of little ups and downs, but nothing too big in either direction worth mentioning. I hope your day is going great, and thanks for reading! I promise, this story will pick up.
To CloudofDarkness'protégé: Aww, you are far too kind my Zexy. Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I've missed you Zexy! Love, Demy
To Ughuuu: Aww, I love your reviews! Thank you so much for your support, and for reading! Haha, yes, I forgot I'm working on Japan time now, so my stories probably come out at the weirdest hours lol. Wow, I make Axel hotter than he already is? That is the best compliment I think I have ever received! Seriously! I'm in awe of that! Thank you so much ^_^ A flustered Roxas and perverted Axel it is!
To kindofabadger: Haha, I don't know how I do it either. It was supposed to be a oneshot, but you know me, I can't help but bring out longer stories than I first intend But I'm glad to hear that you like it!
To luckycat222: Really? Glad to hear that you liked it that much! Thank you so very much ^_^
To .demon.: Thank you, this story isn't over yet! Thanks for reading, and for reviewing ^_^
To Relive the Great: Thanks, that's always great to hear. Thank you for reviewing my story!
To ZeltaFrost: Awww, I'm honored to hear your dedication to my writing! I really do feel special hehe. I hope you had a wonderful akuroku day!
To keyblade master13: Thanks for the good luck on my exam! Im so glad to be done with that class, but my new classes start up again soon so its all short lived lol. I hope you liked this short update. Don't worry, it'll all pick up soon.
To chesire-love: Thank you! I appreciate all feedback ^_^
To Cirxe145: Haha, yes, romance is always good, and in the first chapter? I figured why not lol. It shall be longer than a one shot, but not nearly as long as my other more popular stories that I'm currently updating. Thanks for reading.
To twilighttimefan: Thank you, it's good to get feedback!
So I'm not sure how long this story will be, but it will pick up soon. Thanks for all the support and reviews.
Heart, Sarabellum