(A/N: I do not own any part of the Hunger Games trilogy. The only thing I own is bits of the plot that I'll be incorporating into the story. Thank you for the reviews and favorites, xoxo.)
"God, I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him." My mother went back home an hour or two ago. After what seems like a life time of crying in the embrace of my lover, he's up and pacing back and forth, ranting anxiously.
"Calm down, Peeta," I try, my voice shaky. I've seen firsthand just how dangerous Gale really is, and I don't want him to get into a fight with him for fear of what he might do.
"Don't tell me to calm down, Katniss. Not after what he's done to you." The look in his eyes as he turns to me is devastating, and I can't think of anything else to do to calm him down but to touch him, to show him that I'm still physically with him. I reach out, and I hold his hand. He sobs and pulls me into him, tucking my head under his chin and holding me close to his chest.
"How could I have let this happen to you?" He whispers, stroking my long dark hair which is hanging loose down my back. His gaze burns intensely into my eyes, and I can see the tears brimming his lids.
"Peeta…" I'm not sure what to say to him. He didn't let this happen to me. He wasn't there. How could I have let this happen to me? How could I have let Gale get away with this? I look away from him as tears come to my own eyes.
Peeta grips my shoulders and forces me to look at him. "Katniss. Katniss don't turn away from me. You can't do this alone. I'm here for you. I'm here for you now…" His voice breaks on the last word and all I can hear is how disappointed he is in himself. I'm here for you now, which to him meant 'I'm here for you now that you've already gone through this horrible thing, now that we've already lost our child.' But this isn't how I see it at all. And I'm not sure what I can possibly do for him, how I can make him feel better. I put both of my hands on either side of his face and then I bring it to me until our lips collide.
I think of Gale in the very back of my mind, how hard his kiss was, how forceful. But being with Peeta, feeling him, smelling him, is so very different. It's easy, it's gentle. I want this with him.
After a few minutes, we break the kiss, and I plant a smaller one on his lips before I pull away and open my eyes. He places his forehead against mine and sighs. "God, I love you Katniss." One of his hands is at the nape of my neck and the other is on the small of my back. He leans down and pulls me into another long kiss. I sigh into his lips as I remember that Gale isn't the only type of man out there, I remember how safe I am with Peeta. He pulls away again and gazes at me.
"I love you, too." He holds me tight to his chest again, and I feel more than safe in his arms.
I'm holding a beautiful, new baby girl in my arms. She has Peeta's beautiful blue eyes, and tufts of my dark hair.
She's close to my chest, and I lean down to kiss her forehead. I smile when she coos at me. I rock her lightly, and hum to her quietly the tune that I sang to Prim when she was little and couldn't get to sleep.
I feel a large hand on my shoulder, and I turn to see Peeta with a large grin on his face.
"My two favorite girls," he whispers, planting a firm kiss on my lips.
He embraces me, one arm circling around my back while his free hand comes up to hold the girl's head. He kisses her forehead and then kisses me again.
"She really does look just like you." We both smile and look down at the little girl in my arms.
I wake up with a start. I look around and realize I'm tucked into my bed, with Peeta at my side. The pain in my ribs reminds me how real the recent events were, and how not real the events of that dream were. I curl up into a ball, facing away from Peeta, and let out a shaky sob.
"Katniss…?" I hear Peeta call for me with a voice heavily laced with exhaustion. I cry out again. He wouldn't be this tired if he didn't have to care for me. He jumps up. "Katniss?"
"We had a daughter." I whisper. I can't stop crying, so I just hold my knees to myself and let it happen. "We had a beautiful daughter and she had your eyes." I sob. Peeta turns me around to face him and pulls me into his chest.
"It was a dream, Katniss." His attempt at soothing me is unaffective and I bury my face into his shoulder and cry.
"But it shouldn't be!" It should be real. Our family should be real. Our daughter should have been real. "But it shouldn't be…" I'm too exhausted to keep talking, so I just let myself fall apart in the arms of my love. He rocks me gently, hushing my sobs. He leans down and kisses my tears away, kisses my nose, and then kisses me. His kiss overwhelms my senses and I instantly calm down, nothing but streaks of tears and red puffy eyes left of my frantic sadness. He rubs my back, combs his fingers through my hair.
"You're alright, love. You're alright." He kisses me again, and this time I latch onto him, kissing him back with a feverish urgency I didn't know I could possess. Both of my hands bring his face to mine and I keep kissing him over and over, mouths opening and closing, exchanging heat, exchanging moans and breaths. My arms move so they're around his neck, and we're lying next to each other kissing.
He pulls away and I let out a soft groan. I want to keep kissing him, to feel him be close to me. To know that he's real. He places his hand on my face.
"Let's take it easy, okay? You're too hurt for this to…" he looks at me uncomfortably, and then continues, "go any further." I look up at him with fresh tears in my eyes.
"You don't want me?" I ask, looking up at him with hurt probably clear on my face. He shakes his head and grinds his pelvis into my hip so I can very easily feel how aroused he is from just those sweet moments of kissing.
"Does that feel like I don't want you? God, Katniss, I always want you. I just want you to be safe." I sigh.
"And I want you. I want to feel you, I want you to make him go away…" my voice breaks on the last three words. "Please… Make him go away." He looks at me with disbelief written across his face. He doesn't know what to say to me.
"Katniss you're so bruised, and hurt… I couldn't. I think you should give it time."
"If I give it time I'm afraid I'll never be able to have sex again. I'll be too afraid, I'll over think it." I press my body against his tightly. He's right, I am sore. But I'm right too – I'm afraid that I'll be too afraid when my body heals to have sex.
He pecks my nose. "My love, we have plenty of time to work through this together. Let's just… wait this one out and see where it goes, okay?"
"Alright, I trust you. I love you." I say to him, before I turn around and pull his arm over my waist so his hand touches the bed in front of me.
"I love you," he replies, kissing the top of my head. We're cuddling and almost asleep when we hear a knock on the door. I sit up immediately, suddenly nerve wracked. Who could it be at this time of night?
Peeta sits up too and holds my hand, trying to soothe me. "I'll go check it out." He gets up and I follow quickly behind him. I follow him down the stairs to the front door. He straightens his back and puffs his chest up so he immediately looks more intimidating.
He reaches out and I hold my breath, terrified of who it could be and what news they might bring. He turns the knob, opens the door.
We both gasp, and I stare at our visitor with wide-eyed horror.