Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Merlin or Jar of Hearts, all I have is a car called Rupert and an extensive collection of books and dvds.

Warnings: Quite a few swear words, some malexmale sexual imagery and Merthur. (M rated chapter)

Summary: Being immortal means Merlin just has to wait around for those he loves to be reincarnated, and that includes Arthur Pendragon. But in Arthur's last lifetime the two had a falling out meaning now that Arthur is back again, Merlin doesn't want anything to do with him. And he really doesn't care what Morgana has to say on the subject. (Or Gwaine for that matter either!)

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And now on with the story...

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Enough

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And it took so long just to feel all right
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed
The first time that we kissed
'Cause you've broke all your promises
And now you're back
But you don't get to get me back

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(Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri.)

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The fact the host was leaving his own party early was sure to draw attention. But Arthur really didn't care. Morgana and Gwaine had somehow convinced him to postpone leaving for nearly two hours now and he was getting anxious. Merlin was not only in the same city as him but only about half an hours' drive away.

Since the moment he had been left in Chicago on his own, he had been searching for Merlin, trying to get him back. Okay well maybe that was a lie, he may have spent a week or so moping about in an indignant 'I'm not saying sorry, I did nothing wrong," type way. But that is irrelevant. The facts remain that as soon as Arthur had realised that Merlin had actually meant what he had said, and wasn't coming back, he had begun a frantic search.

But the problem is if Merlin doesn't want to be found, you won't find him. And in this case Merlin most definitely did not want to be found. In the end Arthur has spent the rest of that lifetime continuously doing double-takes at anyone who had the same hair colour as Merlin or was the same height and build. Hell even if they were wearing Merlin's favourite colour he would stop to double check they weren't actually Merlin in disguise. He couldn't be too careful!

In the end Arthur admitted it was his fault. He knew he had been a prat and he knew he had brought this on himself. But admitting it to himself didn't make a bloody difference if he couldn't find Merlin and apologise. Damn he missed the skinny idiot, and regretted that argument till the day he had died. When he had turned eighteen in this lifetime, and all his memories came back, he had felt like he was going to collapse from the pain.

Every other time he had gotten his memories back Merlin had been there, ready to reassure him and embrace him like the long lost lover he was. But this time he had been alone in his room, suffering the onslaught of memories of a hundred lives lived, with no one there holding his hand, reassuring him. No one telling him how happy they were that he was back. Once again he had fallen into the trap of looking for Merlin in a crowd, trying desperately to see him, to meet him, to have a chance to fix everything. Because now none of what they had argued about mattered. It was a non issue.

Yes Gwaine and Morgana had managed to stall him for nearly two hours by saying he had to stay to greet people, cut the cake, make a toast and all that rubbish. Morgana had gone so far as to refuse to give the location of her flat until his duties as host were at least mostly done. But now all that was done and he just wanted to get to Merlin. He wanted to see him, touch him and most importantly beg for his forgiveness. Right now he was thanking whichever dainty was up there fore bringing Morgana to his party tonight. Six years of searching in this lifetime and finally he was going to see Merlin.

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merlinmerlinmerlinmerlin

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Merlin was drunk. Very drunk. In fact Merlin hadn't been this level of drunk in years. Six years to be exact, to the day. The day of Arthur's eighteenth birthday, when the prat would finally remember everything, Merlin had drunk himself almost into a coma. The next morning had been horrific, even with a hangover spell. Although he had just to hit the coma stage this time, it was still very much on the cards. But first he needed to get these damn keys in the front door and pray that Morgana was still out. She would not approve of the state he was in. Or the company he had, he thought as a hand slid under his top and caressed his stomach. Thinking screw it, Merlin's eyes briefly flashed gold and the door clicked open.

"Got it," he smiled, turning to face the man behind him.

"Thank god for that!" The tanned figure pressed against his back replied, pushing him forward into the flat. "I was going to have to fuck you up against the wall in the hallway of you hadn't opened it son."

"That's not bad plan." Merlin slurred as he smashed their lips together, guiding his new friend into the lounge. "More drink... more drink first." He stumbled towards the kitchen and returned a moment later waving two, fortunately unopened, beers.

"This is a nice flat with a really nice sofa," came a voice from said piece of furniture. "Maybe you should join me."

Merlin did not need telling twice. He attempted to put the beers down on the small table, and within seconds the two men were all over each other. Hands and lips were everywhere and it wasn't long before they were both topless with Merlin straddling his new partner. He was so busy enjoying the way, what promised to be very talented hands, were rubbing his crotch and undoing his jeans that he failed to notice the front door opening, or Morgana calling, "Merlin are you there?" The two were so caught up in each other that they remained completely oblivious, enjoying another lip lock as hands dipped under yet more layers of clothing. That was until;

"GET YOUR FILTH HANDS OFF MY BOYFRIEND!"

Merlin froze, he recognised that voice. He would recognised that very angry sounding voice anywhere. Fuck! What the hell was he doing here? How the hell did he even know where here was? Merlin sat up, still straddling his new friend. He could see a figure out of the corner of his eye standing in the shadows of the doorway.

"I'm a going to kill... to fuckin' KILL you M..m...M..gana" He slurred almost incoherently, the alcohol taking its toll on his linguistic abilities. "FUCKIN' BITCH!" He spat at her. The figure beneath him started to squirm and Merlin rolled off him situating himself on the floor, looking up at the unimpressed and livid face of the blonde in front of him.

"What the fuck do you think you are playing at?" said blonde asked, anger punctuating every word as he glared down at him.

"Well," he began, pointing at Arthur in a matter he no doubt though made him look serious, but was completely ruined by the state he was in, and the hiccups he seemed to have contracted. "Well... before you turned up... hic... and cockblocked me... hic... I was going to get fucked!" He had a smirk on his face.

"You are unbelievable." Arthur replied sounding exasperated.

"I am... hic... aware of that."

"Is this what you have spent the time I was away doing?" Arthur's face was getting redder and redder as his hands clenched and unclenched at his side.

"None your business." His smirk was getting wider the more he appeared to be winding Arthur up. He made a beckoning motion towards him as though he was going to tell him a secret and mock whispered, "But yes, it is!" He lay back on the floor as though it was not a serious conversation going on at all. "I'm no m...monk! I like... hic... sex. Need... erm... need sex. And erm...wh...eh... what's your name?" He asked the confused and rather startled figure who was sitting on the sofa, looking anxiously between Merlin and Arthur.

"It's Will." He answered in a small voice.

"EXACTLY!" Merlin shouted, throwing one arm up in the arm as though he was making some big point. "Will was... Will... hic... Will was my friends name. Grew up in Ea... Eal...Eald... Together!" He told the half naked Will, who didn't seem to careless and was just looking more uncomfortable by the minute. "Anyway I like sex and Will. So..."

"Merlin shut up." Arthur snapped. "And you!" He pointed at Will, "get the hell out of here, NOW!"

"NO!" Merlin yelled. He tried to stand, but stumbled and ended up in Will's lap. "I want him to... hic... stay." Strong arms grabbed him from behind and pulled him away.

"I said get out!" Arthur snarled at the figure on the sofa. Will did not need telling twice. He all but ran out pushing swiftly past the two figures standing in the doorway, not even bothering to pick up his t-shirt. "And you!" Arthur directed at Merlin, sitting him down on the sofa. "You need to sober yourself up this minute."

"You are not... hic... the king anymore!" Merlin retorted trying to stand up again.

"No but I am stronger then you." Arthur retorted, pushing him back down again. "Now say the spell to sober yourself up." Merlin grumbled but his eyes flashed gold. "Good now do you care to... MERLIN!" Arthur yelled as he realised that he had not sobered himself up but rather done some other ridiculous spell. The drunk warlock was sitting there blowing multi-coloured bubbles out of his mouth, ignoring Arthur. "Merlin I swear if you don't sober yourself up this minute I was let Morgana do it!"

"She doesn't have magic." He giggled blowing a huge blue bubble into the air then popping it.

"No but I'm sure she will think of something."

Merlin's eyes drifted to Morgana who was still standing in the doorway with Gwaine acting as a spectator. She gave him an evil smirk. Looking back at Arthur, Merlin's eyes momentarily glowed gold again.

"Are you in a fit state to talk now?" He spat.

"Stop being so grumpy just because you aren't getting any!" Merlin retorted, rolling his eyes.

"That's because I have been waiting for you."

"You really shouldn't have bothered." Merlin's hiccups seemed to have vanished and his speech was more coherent. His tone however was now very bitter and acidic. "You would have been better off finding some tart society would have approved of.

"I don't want some tart." Arthur growled. "I want you."

"Well that's never going to happen. Now would you kindly fuck off. You've already ruined my night enough."

"I came to apologise Merlin." His voice was suddenly pleading.

"I really couldn't give a damn."

"Well I could! I've missed you and I want you back." His voice was getting more desperate.

Leaning back on the sofa, Merlin crossed his arms and appeared to be contemplating it. "I'll tell you what," he said after a moment's thought, "I'll give you one night." Hope and confusion flooded Arthur's face. "Just one mind. You see Will got me all riled up and now you've gone and scared him off. So I'm going to need some kind of...erm... outlet. I'm really not in the mood for my hand." What he was saying seemed to twig with Arthur and his face turned pale as Merlin licked his lips. "You always did have a talented little mouth. Care to put it to use for the night?"

"Merlin you can't be serious!" Morgana screeched from the sidelines. "This is Arthur you are talking to, not some tramp you picked up in a nightclub."

"Seriously mate that's not like you," Gwaine chimed in.

"You never are far behind the King of Prats are you Gwaine." Merlin said with a smirk not even turning to face him, but continuing to look at Arthur.

"So you did know he was back then?" Morgana snapped.

"Of course I knew. I always know when one of you comes back. I always keep an eye on you all until you turn eighteen." His eyes still hadn't left Arthur.

"Then why the hell didn't you come for me?" Gwaine asked indignantly.

"Arthur." Merlin replied as though that explained it all. Addressing the silent reincarnated King me asked, "So I guess that's a no to my offer then?" He cocked his eyebrow, "Shame. You look just as good this lifetime as you did in the rest." He stood and pushed past the blonde, making to leave the room but was halted by a hand tightening on his arm.

"I'm not letting you walk away this time."

"I don't care whether you are letting me or not." Merlin snarled. "It's happening."

"Merlin please... please we can fix this. We can fix everything and be together again." Arthur begged. "Hell I want to be with you and I want the world to know you are mine!"

"Oh so you want the world to know do you? Well you've changed your bloody tune." Merlin's voice was full of venom. "Tell me if this was still the 1920's would you even be here? Would you be trying to get me back?"

"Yes, of course."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm telling the truth!"

"Oh and you have always been the most honest, open person."

"Merlin, please?"

"Please what? All that is waiting if I go back to you is regret. Now let me go."

"I can't do that." Arthur stated, tightening his grip on Merlin's arm.

"Then you leave me no choice." The warlock's eyes flashed gold and Arthur went flying backwards into the wall.

"Arthur!" Morgana cried rushing towards him.

"Merlin mate what the hell?" Gwaine exclaimed.

Arthur just stared up at Merlin with empty eyes.

"I don't know who you think you are Arthur Pendragon, but you are nothing to me now. Nothing!" Merlin was shaking with anger. "You should not have come back for me. I wish I had never kissed you that day in Camelot. You broke all your promises and I will never forgive you." Tears were now rolling down Arthur's cheeks. "I hate you Arthur Pendragon. I hate you so much!"

Then just like that cold February morning in 1924, Merlin disappeared before Arthurs very eyes. And just that morning there was nothing Arthur could think to do that would stop him.

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Authors Note: So I've had a really hectic week haing been away at the weekend and coming back to a series of 12 hour shifts, but I was determined to get this up. I apologise for any mistakes but I've been awake since 6am (it's now midnight) on less then 4hours sleep. Because of this I have yet again put this up without having it beta'd. Although abouther reason is because I haven't found one yet, so if anyone is willing to take on the job I would be grateful, just drop me a PM.

Despite that I hope this chapter lived up to expectations. Don't panic Merlin will be back, he just needs to cool off a little.

Next chapter I want to bring back another character into the mix. If you have any preferences either leave it in a review or PM me, as I haven't made a final descision on who it is going to be.

Anyway I think I'm about to fall asleep on my laptop so I'll just leave you was a MASSIVE thank you for all the alerts, favourite and reviews I have been getting. I am so psyched that you guys like the story!

Until next time...

secretambition xx