Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Merlin, all I have is a car called Rupert and an extensive collection of books and dvds.
Warnings: Swear words, some malexmale sexual imagery and Merthur.
Summary: Being immortal means Merlin just has to wait around for those he loves to be reincarnated, and that includes Arthur Pendragon. But in Arthur's last lifetime the two had a falling out meaning now that Arthur is back again, Merlin doesn't want anything to do with him. And he really doesn't care what Morgana has to say on the subject. (Or Gwaine for that matter either!)
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Now on with the story...
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Enough
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"Do not you think it's time that you went back to your own flat Merlin?" The aging figure asked as he took another sip of his whisky, not even bothering to tear his eyes away from the news report he was watching on the TV in the corner.
"Why would I go back to my own place when I'm obviously so welcome here." Merlin replied sarcastically from his seat the other side of the room where he was reading some trashy book he had found on the bookshelf.
"You know you're meant to respect your elders." The old man retorted with a smirk.
"Please you're just a toddler in comparison to me. I've got at least fifteen centuries on you!"
"And like the bastard you are you don't even have the decency to look it."
"Wrinkles were never really my style."
"Or mine. But some of us weren't gifted with eternal youth so have had to make do." He put down his glass and flicked the TV turning to give Merlin his full attention. "So when are you going back? You've been here a week now and you have to face the music at some point."
"Can't I just stay here and wait till his next lifetime?" Merlin whined.
"And you called me a toddler." He chuckled smiling widely as Merlin frowned. "The longer you wait the worse it is going to get."
"Good then maybe Arthur will decided he doesn't want to see me again and we can both live happily ever after, separately."
"You know that's never going to happen. Besides if you don't at least make peace it won't be just Arthur you will lose. Morgana and Gwaine are involved now and you know neither of them will ever let it go. I know he hurt you but it's been almost a century, but you know he was never the brightest crayon in the box."
"I guess you're right." Merlin said admitted defeated. "When did you get so wise?"
"Well somewhere about the thirteenth century I bumped into an old acquaintance who told me I needed to let go of the past and embrace the present. He told me continuing to be enemies with everyone would just make everyone of my lifetimes unbearably empty. Scarily enough he was right."
"I knew telling you that was going to come back and bite me in the arse!" Merlin sighed. "Tomorrow, I'll go tomorrow." He rose from his seat and made his way to the guest room where he had been staying for the last week and a half. "But seeing him doesn't mean I'm going to forgive him Mordred!" he called over his shoulder.
He wasn't sure what had driven him to do it but after he had left Arthur, Morgana and Gwaine that night this was the only place he could think to come. The reincarnation of his past enemy was the only person he could think would help him sort everything out. Maybe it was because over the centuries they had grown close. Or maybe it was because no one would have any idea where to find Mordred, that's if they actually knew he was back. Plus he had a strange calming effect on Merlin. He could always stop him from going something too rash. If only Merlin had bothered to go see him when Morgana had first found out that Arthur was back. But the he was kind of happy with the fact Arthur had found him wrapped around another man. It felt to him like some kind of twisted justice had been served.
Still Mordred, unfortunately, had a point. Merlin did need to face the music. He did need to properly confront Arthur about everything that had happened is a fully dressed and completely sober way. But that didn't mean he had to forgive the prat Merlin reminded himself. And if he was going to have to go through that self induced torture tomorrow he sure as hell was going to enjoy himself tonight. With that thought he through on some clean clothes, checked his reflection in the mirror, grabbed his wallet and made to go out.
"If you're going to see Arthur tomorrow you best not get yourself completely wasted tonight Merlin." Mordred instructed him as he made his way through the lounge to the front door.
"Don't worry I'm not planning on having anything to drink. I just fancy a dance."
He heard Mordred scoff in disbelief as he shut the front door behind him and made his way to the nearest tube station.
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Morgana couldn't believe it. It had been a week and Merlin still hadn't come back to the flat, not even to pick up any clothes. She had even gone to his work but they had just looked at her strangely and told her that Merlin had called in a last minute holiday. She guessed it did seem bizarre that his own flatmate had no idea where the hell he was.
Gwaine and Arthur were just as stumped as to where he could be as her, neither having known Merlin in this lifetime so having any idea where he would go. All Arthur could suggest was places from previous lives together. But given that Merlin was avoiding him in particular it didn't seem that likely that the warlock would be feeling sentimental enough to visit any of them.
Tonight however the three of them, or at least Gwaine and Morgana, had decided to stop searching for their missing friend and go on a night out in celebration of Gwaine's twenty-fourth birthday, which was in a few days. Arthur wasn't given a choice he was being dragged along.
"Come on mate stop frowning and cheer up!" Gwaine ordered, thrusting yet another beer into Arthurs' hand. "Just for tonight let's forget about the skinny magician and enjoy ourselves."
The blonde just grunted and began to chug down the pint Gwaine had given him.
"That's the spirit!" Gwaine announced, slapping him on the shoulder.
"We need to head over to a club soon." Morgana announced. "I really want to dance."
Never one to disappoint a lady, Gwaine copied Arthur and downed his drink before taking Morgana's hand. "If the lady wished to dance, the dance she shall!" He declared pulling her up and spinning her around. "Come on grumpy!" He called to Arthur. "We need your pretty celebrity face if we're going to skip the queue!"
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The club was packed. There was hardly any room to move, let alone breathe. There was only one thing for it, Merlin thought, he would have to charm his way into the VIP area. It was the only part of the club that wasn't overcrowded. Making his was over to the bouncer guarding the stairs to the exclusive section of the club he flashed a smile as his eyes flashed gold. Without even giving him a second look the bouncer ushered him up the stairs to the VIP section.
"Works every time." He muttered to himself with a pleased smile.
"Impressive." A voice called to his left as he reached the top of the stairs.
"I'm sorry?" Merlin asked turning to look at the brunette who had just spoken. She was stunning, dressed in a flowing silver dress that seems to ripple about her as though it was made of water. There was something eerily familiar about her that he just couldn't put his finger on.
"The way you charmed your way in with just a smile." She said sweetly. "I would almost say it was a magic charm you have." Her eyes seemed to twinkle knowingly as she looked into his shocked face. There was no way her word choice had been accidental, not with the way she was looking at him.
"Who are you?" he asked. He was so sure he knew her, but he was unable to recall from where or when.
"I'm just an old friend." She replied. Then she leant in and kissed him softly on the cheek. "I've just come to make sure you stop making a mess of destiny." She whispered before pulling away from him and making her way down the stairs. "It's time to forgive him Merlin." She called over her shoulder. "Anger is never the answer."
Merlin was sure he saw her eyes flash gold. Maybe it was just a trick of the light.
But then he froze as he replayed her words in his head. Something click inside his brain. It couldn't be. She had never come back before. Why would she suddenly appear now? And if she was back how come he hadn't sensed her before? It just didn't make sense. But as he watched her disappear further into the crowd he became more certain that it was indeed Freya he had just met. His Freya, after all this time, it just didn't make sense.
He was so caught up trying to figure out how she had managed to reincarnate without him being aware that he failed to notice the three newcomers to the VIP section. However all three had spotted him and were making a beeline straight for him.
Morgana got there first.
WHACK!
The force at which her hand connected with Merlin's cheek made an almighty sound, and brought him back down to reality.
"Where the hell have you been?" She demanded.
"Hello to you too Morgana." He was still staring at the spot he had last seen Freya, not even turning as he spoke, rubbing his red cheek with one hand and waving the approaching bouncer away with the other. "Never one to mess around with pleasantries were you? Always preferred to go straight to the point."
"Yes well after your performance last week you deserve it." She quipped.
"Still hasn't told you the truth about what happened then." He stated coolly. "Can't say I blame him." He looked over towards Arthur and gave him a dirty look. "I'd value my balls as well if I were him."
"Well at least he is being civil and isn't acting like a teenager having a tantrum." Morgana argued.
Merlin just ignored her and turned to Gwaine with a smile. Seeing Freya had left him oddly calm, even in the situation he now found himself in he had no desire to fight or even leave. "I suppose I should get you a birthday drink. Sorry I didn't get a chance to say hello properly last time I was a bit preoccupied."
"I noticed." Gwaine replied with a smirk. "In surprisingly good shape for your old age too." He slapped his hand playfully against Merlin's stomach. Turning to face the other he added, "As this is my birthday celebration I don't want any fighting between you all. Behave and drink sensibly!"
They all snorted with laughter. "Behave and drink sensibly?" Arthur said disbelievingly. "That's rich coming from you." Despite the joking they all silently agreed to at least act civil.
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It hadn't been going too badly. Gwaine and Morgana had been getting steadily drunker and drunker, dancing with each other and clearly enjoying themselves. Merlin and Arthur on the other hand were staying away from anything alcoholic, neither willing to trust what they might do with alcohol in their body. They remained standing next to each other without talking as they watched the other two enjoy themselves.
"Do you think you will ever forgive me?" Arthur finally asked breaking the silence with the question he had been burning to ask all night. "I know you said last week you never would, but is there nothing I can do?" he pleaded.
"It's not that simple Arthur and you know it."
"But it will never happen again."
"That's because there is no need for it in this culture."
"Even if there was though I wouldn't ask." Arthur turned Merlin so he was looking into straight into his eyes. "Losing you last lifetime destroyed me. I never knew it was possible to hurt so much! Please don't let me lose you again."
"How do you think I feel? That pain you felt when I left you in Chicago, that's the pain I have every single time I have had to watch you die in my arms." It wasn't angry that laced Merlin's voice as he spoke but pity. Somehow he found himself unable to even feel the stirrings of anger. "I did everything you ever asked of me so that each lifetime I could prolong that moment when I would have to feel my heart ripped out of my chest. I did everything Arthur, everything you asked. I changed who I was for you, hid myself from the world for countless years in countless different lifetimes. I became the person you needed me to be in order to live your life without persecution. But you never seemed to get that for me it was you all along. You were the one persecuting me. You were the one who made me deny who I really am." He let out a sorrowful sigh. "You were never ready to have me be anything but your dirty little secret that society doesn't know about."
"That's not true." Arthur's voice was full of a plea to be believed. "It's not true Merlin. I love you so much that I will do anything for you. I don't care what anyone else says on the matter!"
"Then why is it that all the tabloids, all the press, all of the world is living under the belief that you're straight?"
"I never told them I was, they just assumed."
"But you never corrected them though did you?"
"Merlin you can't seriously be using that as the reason we can't be together again?"
"No, I'm using it as proof that you aren't ready to love me as I am."
"I am ready! I already love you as you are!"
"If you really want me to forgive you then prove to me that you'll never ask me to live in disguise again." With that Merlin made to leave, but Arthur caught his hand and pulled him back towards him.
"Don't you worry Merlin I'll prove myself and then we can be together again." He gave a confident smile and wrapped his arms around Merlin kissing him gently on the lips. "A kiss for good luck." He whispered in Merlin's ear before letting him go and walking over to Morgana and Gwaine who were just leaving the dance floor.
Merlin shook his head disbelievingly before exiting the club. What had come over him? Why had he allowed Arthur to get that close? Seeing Freya had obviously messed with his head. He had been feeling funny since he first saw her.
Still it would be good to see Arthur trying to actually prove himself worthy for once.
Even if it wouldn't really be enough to make Merlin get back with him.
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Authors Note: I'm really sorry I've had a broken laptop and uni exams so have had no time to do any writing. Anyway I hope you like this chapter. I'm not completely happy with it but I needed it to move the story along. I promised I was bringing more people back so what do you all think of it being Mordred and Freya? Also what do you guys think about the conversation between Arthur and Merlin?
I'll try update quicker then last time. But till then please review and let me know what you think and also what you want to see Arthur do in order to prove himself to Merlin.
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