Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Merlin, all I have is a car called Rupert and an extensive collection of books and dvds.

Warnings: Swear words, some malexmale sexual imagery and Merthur.

Summary: Being immortal means Merlin just has to wait around for those he loves to be reincarnated, and that includes Arthur Pendragon. But in Arthur's last lifetime the two had a falling out meaning now that Arthur is back again, Merlin doesn't want anything to do with him. And he really doesn't care what Morgana has to say on the subject. (Or Gwaine for that matter either!)

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Now on with the story...

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Enough

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It was two days after meeting in the club that the world seemed to go mental. It was all over the tabloids and all anyone could seem to talk about, be it in a cafe, on twitter, or some random blog. Merlin didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It turned out some fan had had their camera out and pointed at Arthur the exact moment he and Merlin had kissed in that club. Luckily for him it was dark and blurry so making him out was near impossible. But having been plastered over London for weeks and weeks made it obvious to anyone and everyone that the blonde man in the picture was Arthur Penn, movie star.

The press had had a field day with countless men coming forward claiming they were the mystery brunette, willing to give their stories to the world. At first there had been no response from the man himself, to which Merlin was in no way surprised. Arthur had always shied away in the past from any claims that he was gay, part of the problem really. However three days after the article had come out a newspaper had decided to run an article entitled "King of Queens" ripping into Arthur and portraying him as some kind of manwhore. That seems to be the breaking point for the reincarnated king as a clip of him soon began to surge across the internet, responding to the allegations. It was short, simple, to the point and lasted less than thirty seconds;

"Yes I'm gay, like millions of other people on this planet. But no I am not some slut. The man I was pictured kissing is the same man I have been in love with for as long as I can remember. If you don't like it tough, but it's who I am and I won't change for anyone. I'm gay and proud. Deal with it!"

It was after seeing that clip that Merlin had packed his bags and told Mordred that maybe it was better for both of their sanities if he went back to his own flat.

"I mean if I don't go back soon I probably won't have a flat to go back to. Morgana can still be vicious and spiteful if she wants. I wouldn't put it past her to have sold my flat or burnt it down or something as some fucked up way of teaching me a lesson to not ignoring her." He had told Mordred. The aging man had just laughed and muttered something about missing people or some such crap that was completely untrue.

So that is how he found himself standing in his lounge doorway, suitcase in one hand being berated by a very annoyed Morgana.

"So you finally decided to show up did you?" she asked.

"Figured you were missing me and had grown tired of takeout by now. Your cooking is shit." He replied.

She glared at him, "Well I don't suppose you want to tell me what the hell is going on then?"

"I've decided to come home."

"I figured that much out. I mean between you and Arthur! That picture of you two kissing is all anyone can seem to talk about, and funnily enough both of you have been uncontactable since that night. Care to explain?"

"I've been staying at a friend's is all, same place I stayed the week before." Merlin answered. "And nothing is going on between us. That kiss was just a simple peck for good luck."

"Good luck kiss?"

"Yes."

"Good luck for what?"

"Arthur pointless mission of trying to win me back."

"Pointless? Really?"

"Yes."

"So he has no chance of winning you over."

"No."

"So the damn video clip he released, of him declaring his love for you to the whole world to see, has jack shit to do with your sudden reappearance?"

"Exactly."

"You're full of crap!" she declared moving towards him. "Now give me a hug so we can kiss and make up. The flats been lonely without you and I've been bored."

Merlin just laughed and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight.

"Missed you too!" he said. "Sorry I've been such a crappy friend lately."

"So you should be."

The rest of the night was spent catching up on everything Merlin had seemed to miss while he was away "sulking like a two year old," as Morgana so lovingly put it.

It was as they were saying good night that Morgana asked what she had obviously been dying to ask since he walked through the door, "Are you ever going to tell me what really happened between you two, you know last lifetime?"

"Now is really not the time."

"It never is with you. Tell me!"

"Just drop it and go to bed."

"Tell me or I'll leave." She announced. "I mean it. Tell me what happened or I'll be the one to walk out the door."

"Morgana please, just drop it."

"No." She glared at him.

"You won't like it."

"I don't care."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Fine!" Merlin sighed, running his hands through his hair. "We argued about us, about me, about what we are and who I am."

"I don't understand." She responded with a confused look. "Who you are? A warlock you mean?"

"No... I erm... well kind of... It's more of the fact it was the 1920's and well being what I was, what I am, hell what Arthur is, wasn't really acceptable. Especially for someone in a visible position like he was." Morgana still looked at him with confusion written all over her face. "I'm talking about being gay."

"Oh! But why argue about that? Not like you could do anything to change it!"

Merlin just gave her a look. "I'm a powerful immortal warlock Morgana. I have eternal youth and can manipulate time. I can change the weather and have survived countless wars. You don't think that glamour to change how I appear to the world is beyond me?"

"Change how you appear?" she questioned.

"You would never have realised, because you have always known me, but almost every lifetime of Arthurs I have hidden behind glamour charms in public, making myself appear to the world as a female, someone who was an acceptable partner for Arthur. But last lifetime I decided I had had enough." Tears had begun to fall down Merlin's face as he told Morgana what had been haunting him for so long. "He couldn't do it though. He wasn't willing to give up the pretence, admit who he really was, let me be who I really am. I love him Morgana, I love him so much but he hurt me. He was so ashamed of being gay he was willing to live a lie, hiding me from the world." Merlin was freely crying down, as a shocked Morgana wrapped her arms around him trying to comfort him. "He cared more about how the world see's him then allowing me to be free, to be my real self."

"Oh Merlin." She cooed, tightening her grip on him.

"I love him so much Morgana, but he hurt me so bad."

"I'm going to rip his balls off when I see him." She whispered into his ear, as though it was words of comfort.

Merlin couldn't help but let out a weak laugh.

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Author's note: So I think I owe all of you an apology for taking so fricking long to update this. I've had serious writers block for the last few months and have been able to write anything.

Anyway I hope that this makes up for it. I know it's not the best but I really just wanted to get something posted to show I hadn't forgotten about this fic.

I'm now in my final year of my degree so no promises when I'll have time to update but I'll try not to take as long.

Next chapter Freya is back, we see how Arthur is dealing with coming out to the world and Morgana is out for blood, specifically Arthurs.

I am really thankful to everyone who has stuck with this story. I know I don't deserve it but please review...

Until next time... secretambition xx