Please review! Give me advice and what to write about :)
I do not own pretty little liars.
The next few days were a blur; I cut down my eating, now only having something small with the girls and dinner with the family, I was fighting with Melissa, I was constantly disappointing my parents, and I hadn't stopped the cutting. I didn't really have motivation to stop. And it almost felt... Good.
I woke up on Thursday morning with a dull headache. I looked down at my wrist. Dried blood was all over it, I hadn't washed it up properly last night! I ran to the bathroom, slammed the door and locked myself in. I looked in the mirror, disgusted with my view. I slowly started to peel off my clothes, and then realized school was probably starting soon, and being the 'perfect ' Spencer Hastings, I couldn't miss the morning. I stepped on the scales. 8 pounds in the last week. Not bad, I thought, but I need to be thinner. I sighed, and walked over to the shower. I turned the tap to a scorching hot temperature, and let the water soak my body. I grabbed the flannel, wet it, and gently started to scrub my wrist. I winced, but the scars weren't opening again, and the blood was washed off. I rinsed my body, washed my hair and got out of the shower. Now came the difficult task... What to wear for school! I couldn't wear a t-shirt, that was a no-no. I decided on a long sleeve collar shirt, my jeans and my converse. I grabbed my jumper and headed to school without saying goodbye to my parents.
Classes were classes, I went through them without trouble and helped out the confused people around me. I wanted to stay there forever, I was dreading lunch. I didn't want to eat, and if I didn't the girls would question me, and I really don't want to lie to them. Just as I was thinking this, the bell rang. I groaned, and some of the people gave me weird looks. I just went and packed my books away and went to meet the girls. We went and sat at our usual table, me and Aria on one side, Hanna and Emily on the other. I pulled out my celery sticks and started eating away. I felt disgusting, but I couldn't let them get suspicious. Hanna was chatting away to Emily about something in their Chemistry class, and little did I know my sleeve had hitched up a little, allowing Aria full sight of my self-mutilated wrist.
"Spencer...", Aria sounded worried. "Whats that on your wrist?" Shit.
"What? Oh, nothing. Just my cat."
"Spencer, you don't have a cat."
My plan was falling apart.
"Excuse me." I got out of my seat as fast as possible. I ran to the nearest bathroom and went into one of the stalls. I shoved my fingers down my throat and hurled through my tears. I didn't realize Aria had followed me, she slowly walked into my cubicle and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her. She had tears in her eyes, but she looked as if she was trying to stay strong.
"Spencer, please." It was barely a whisper, but I saw a tear make a trickle down her face, and that was enough to set me off. I sobbed into her shoulder, and she held me tight. When I finally pulled away, I avoided eye contact, I felt too embarrassed.
"Spencer, if you don't mind... Can you please show me your wrists?"
I hesitated, but slowly pulled up my sleeves. There were large amounts of tiny scars all up my arms, to about my inner elbow. Her face was worried, concerned, but most of all, sad. I quickly told her that it wasn't her fault.
"Aria, this is not because of you ok? You are not to blame. I love you and I would never blame you ok? You are amazing, please never think this is because of you. It's me. It's me it's me..." I trailed off. She pulled me into another hug.
"C'mon, lets go see the girls yeah?" She faked a smile, but she was trying. I smiled back, and before touching up a bit of my make-up, we went back to Hanna and Emily.