Fifty Shades of Flannel Chapter 13
Christian had taken a suite at the St. Regis. Upon hearing this, I insisted quite vehemently that he give it back, only to learn "take" means "reserved" if you are enormously wealthy.
I was enjoying the brief respite by freshening up, which if you are not enormously wealthy, means perusing the tiny bottles in the hotel bathroom and swishing the (very weak) mouthwash into the very clean sink.
I had changed into one of my new Lanz nightgowns. I felt like myself again. An Austrian version of myself.
I rejoined Christian in the living room. He seemed mildly aghast at my appearance. I spoke with resolve.
Remain calm, Tim Gunn. I know I have on a Lanz, but this is "me" time. I have been wearing that executive get-up for two days. I need to let loose. Boy, it felt good to just tell him the truth.
I sat down on the couch and put my matching Lanz slippers up on the coffee table.
A bell sounded and Dr. Wellsworth came crisply into the room.
She had the expectant look of an IRS auditor and I raised a Lanz-clad arm to stop her.
Hold it right there, Dr. Quinn. This Indian has a thing or two to say. First of all, if anyone is getting the "business" today it's you and not me. You're here because I, formerly known as "Potential Sex Partner Number 403," have come up with a swell elegant product. And I need your help.
Dr. Wellsworth had been reaching into her bag for, no doubt, some gruesome lady-examining implement.
She was nothing if not astute, and she closed the bag, and sat down opposite from me.
Christian had me briefed on the Lady Cork on the way here. I'd like to congratulate you on carving out a new segment in the personal care/feminine care category.
I sat up a bit straighter. I was an entrepreneur after all.
I gather the testing stage is next, so you have efficacy research to show your investors..." She looked expectantly at me.
Dammit. I was on again.
I did what millions of business people all over the world do each day: I took the "big" words and flung them together.
Yes, I expect a paradigm shift will occur when we add value to the proposition. But not before we take a snapshot of outcomes and check in with our stakeholders. That sounded pretty good to me.
Christian and Dr. Wellsworth looked at each other.
Mrs. Steele, we don't expect a creative engineer, such as yourself, to really have a full sense of all aspects of R and D. He looked sympathetic.
The nerve.
Oh I know all about your R and D, mister. And that sort of thing will have no place in the Lady Cork business. No siree, Bob. We're going to run a tight ship. None of those shenanigans around here. I was getting irked.
R and D. Christian said blandly.
I heard you quite clearly. I just used the very lethal hotel grade Q-Tips in the bathroom. I said.
No. R and D refers to Research and Development. B and D is Bondage and Discipline.
Oh. Never mind. I buttoned my Lanz all the way to the top.
Dr. Wellsworth, perhaps harkening back to our conversation about gypsies and cleaning, helped me recover.
I took the liberty of making a few calls. There is a club I have a relationship with. I'm their on-call physician. They employ a number of women, and I know they would be glad to be part of a research group.
A club! I had always wanted to see the inside of a real East Coast Country Club. This was going to be like something out of Gatsby.
Are we going to Connecticut, or Long Island maybe? I think the Real Housewives of New York belong to some kind of club in the Hamptons. Or maybe they just play tennis in their backyard…
Christian looked wryly amused.
No Mrs. Steele. We're not going to a Bastian of Episcopal folly, though I do like to watch Republicans drink. We're going to Black Widow. It's a strip club.
Satan on a Snicker's bar! These two were at it again. But I didn't have time for moral judgments. This reminded me of the time I had overslept for the Family Mass and Breakfast. The time I was in charge of putting the donuts on the trays. A crisis situation, if you will.
At times like this, you just do what you have to do.
I stood and smoothed out my pristine Lanz and took an instant to admire the little red hearts and bright blue flowers.
I'm a realist. I know I need a passel of…you know what. So this place sounds as good as any. Plus, I'm sure modesty will be in short supply. But I warn you…
Christian and Dr. Wellsworth looked at me.
I'm not changing. I'm wearing a Lanz to a strip club, and it may well be the first time anywhere. Unless Laura Bush had a side job none of us knew about.
And with that, I swept in regal flannel fashion out the door.