Sanashii: Thank you guys! You are so great! I love you all! Enjoyyyy!
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"I can't TAKE this ANYMORE!" Itachi yelled.
"Stop screaming already and get that meal ready un! Konan is gonna be mad un!" Deidara said poking the dust cloth at him.
"Itachi san looks funny in an apron." Tobi said.
"TOBI GET OUT!" Itachi said pointing the knife at him.
But Tobi already clicked a photograph. "Konan Sama said to get a photo of Itachi San in an apron and she will reward me with a lollipop!" He said running off.
"TOBIII!" Itachi yelled attempting to run after him. But his maid dress got in the way. (sorry Itachi fans! I am one too =.=) and fell to the floor.
"Ouch. My nose." Itachi said standing up and rubbing his nose.
"Get to cooking Itachi San. What are you making anyway?" Kisame asked.
"Hammerhead shark fin soup and great white shark cooked meat." Itachi muttered.
Kisame turned pale and screaming he ran away from the kitchen.
"I seriously am starting to get sick of being bossed around by Konan." Hiden said dumping vegetables in the pot.
"Yeah." Itachi said slicing shark meat.
"Say. Let's do one thing." Kakuzu said entering.
"What?" Itachi asked.
"GET RID OF KONAN!" Kakuzu said.
Hiden and Itachi looked at each other and then grinned.
"Let's do this! Assemble all the Akatsuki members minus leader and Konan! NOW! But let me finish adding salt to this soup..." Itachi said returning to his soup.
"You are really into this aren't you?" Hiden asked sweatdropping.
XxXxXxX LaTeR XxXxX
Itachi walked in front of the Akatsuki members. "Men. We have only been the members of Akatsuki. No female dared to intrude. But now we are faced with a problem. A FEMALE INTRUDER! She has taken control of our leader and Tobi! We must free them! In order to do so, we MUST get RID of this intruder female! WHO IS WITH ME?" He said, finishing his annoyingly long speech.
"WE ARE!" Everyone yelled.
Zetsu raised his hand.
"Yes Zetsu?" Itachi asked.
"How are we gonna defeat Konan? She's despicable." He said.
Itachi rubbed a fake beard. "How about we all go separately?" He asked.
"Sounds good. Who'll go first?" Deidara asked.
Everyone took a step back leaving him in the front.
Deidara looked around and then sighed. "Very funny guys. You are ALL despicable. Say Itachi, you were already in the front. Why don't YOU go first?" He asked.
"Not me because I beat you on the first day you came, I am more powerful and I am an Uchiha. Plus, I am leading this mission." Itachi said with a smug look on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Deidara yelled and stomped off.
::Konan's room::
Deidara knocked on the dreaded room. The door opened and Konan stood there. "What do you want girl-man?" Konan asked.
"I AM NOT A GIRL!" Deidara yelled.
"Whatever. Why are you disturbing my precious minutes?" Konan asked.
Deidara sighed. 'Here goes my life.' He thought giving her a nicely packed gift.
"What's this?" Konan asked taking it.
"A gift for being a great Akatsuki member." He mumbled. 'And for being a GREAT PAIN in the NECK.' He added mentally, going away.
Once in the living room, he hid behind the couch and raised his first two fingers. "Art is a BOOM." He muttered, smirking.
He heard a loud explosion. "YESS! I SUCCEEDED! YESS! OH YEAH BABY!" He screamed jumping out and dancing.
"Oh dear me. I wonder what happened to your room." A female voice suddenly said.
Deidara slowly turned and turned white. "K-K-K-K-K-Konan?" He stammered.
"I think you really did a wonderful ARTWORK to your ROOM." She said going away, smirking.
Deidara rushed to his room to find it completely blown to pieces. No fire. But blown to pieces.
"MY ROOM!" He yelled.
(Kisame's attempt.)
Konan slowly walked through the halls of the lair, on her way to the Kitchen. Taking a glass, she opened the refrigerator door. A HUGE shark jumped out snarling.
"HAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT EVIL WOMAN! YOU ARE NON MATCH FOR HIS ENORMOUS-ITY!" Kisame yelled jumping out from under the Kitchen table.
Konan emotionlessly picked up the shark.
"?" The shark said looking questioningly at Konan. Walking over to the sink, she squeezed it through the drain and flicking her hair back with a smirk, went over to the fridge, took out a water bottle and drank her thirst away. Then spotting a dead fly, she picked it up and went out, but not before putting it into the open mouth of the frozen Kisame.
"MY SHARK BABY! DON'T WORRY BABY! MOMMY'S COMING!" Kisame yelled squeezing through the drain, and yes, swallowing the fly. (*gag*)
(Hidan's attempt)
Konan walked to the living room and sat down on the sofa. 'Weird day.' She thought taking the remote and flicking on the Big screen television. "Alright Death Note! Thank you Animax!" Konan said.
After a while, she decided she was hungry. 'I'll go fix myself something to eat.' She thought.
"YOU DWEEBS! I'M HUNGRY!" She yelled. "HEY YOU DWEEB HIDAN! GET ME POPCORN, TWO HOTDOGS, ONE SODA POP, A PIZZA, 3 SANDWICHES, A BOWL OF STEAMING RAMEN, TAKOYAKI, SPAGHETTI WITH NAPOLEON SAUCE, A BURGER AND TOBI AND ZETSU!"
Hidan poked his head into the living room. "You wanna EAT TOBI and ZETSU?" He asked.
"Get my food, the slave and the human dustbin now!" Konan ordered.
"Would you like gold dust sprinkled on your food your highness?" Hidan asked sarcastically.
"Yes." Konan said smugly.
"Kakuzu is gonna kill me." Hiden muttered going into the kitchen to prepare the food.
"Let's see, popcorn, 2 hot dogs, soda, 3 sandwiches, ramen, Takoyaki, Spaghetti and a burger." He muttered looking at the list.
::Soon..::
"Done!" Hiden said grinning. "Now, for the final ingredient!" He said taking a packet of...instant death powder?
"MUHAHHAHAHAHAH! MUHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Hiden laughed dumping the packet whole into the food.
"HIDAN QUIT THAT MANIAC LAUGHTER! I'M WATCHING DEATHNOTE! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD?" Konan yelled.
"Coming~!" Hidan sang skipping to Konan with the food.
"Your highness." Hiden said keeping the food on the table with fake politeness. Konan eyed Hidan suspiciously. "Where is Zetsu and Tobi?" She asked. Hidan bowed and yelled.
"TOBI! ZETSU! GET ASS OVER HERE!" Hiden yelled.
A while later, Tobi came, dragging Zetsu with him.
"NOOOOOOOOO! NOT KONAN! TOBI LET ME GO OR ILL EAT YOU!" Zetsu screamed.
"Zetsu. Sit." Konan ordered. Immediately, he sat down. Hiden sweatdropped.
"EAT." She said pointing to all the delicacy. Zetsu drooled.
"Oh no. No. NO. NOOOOOO!" Hiden yelled as Zetsu gobbled the food down.
"BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP. That was good." Zest said. He stood up to leave and dropped to the floor.
Hiden stood there wide-eyed.
"Tobi, order a pizza for me now." Konan said smugly.
"YES MADAM!" Tobi yelled running away to the phone.
"So...ruthless..." Hiden choked out going to his room and taking his scythe, he pounded himself with it...
(Kakuzu's attempt)
"200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205..." He counted his cash.
(Itachi's attempt?...)
It was now 12 pm at night...
Konan was sleeping soundly in her room when suddenly...
"ALRIGHT KONAN! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"A voice screamed.
"What?" Konan asked. "I am TRYING to sleep. What the **** are you doing in my damn room?"
"YOU KILLED MY TROOPS! AS THE CAPTAIN, I SHALL NOT LOSE! AHAHAHAHAH! DIE YOU EVIL FIEND!" Itachi laughed maniacally.
"So THATS what the dweebs were doing today." Konan muttered turning on the lights.
"Itachi?" She asked.
"Yes evil woman?" Itachi said.
"Thanks for the comment. Why are you wearing a military captains uniform?" She asked.
"SO THAT I CAN KILL YOU!" Itachi yelled pointing his gun at her.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" Konan yelled.
"NOT UNTIL I KILL YOU!" Itachi yelled.
"You wanna do it the hard way huh?" Konan asked rolling up her sleeves.
xXxXXxXxXxXXxXxXxX
BANG. BOOM. CLASH.
Pein woke up immediately. "WHATS WITH ALL THAT RACKET?" he yelled. Growling, he walked off the bed and to where the noise was coming from...Konan's room.
"Hey Konan! What are you doing in there?" Pein asked.
Silence now. He pressed his ear to the door and dropped his jaw to the floor.
He heard creaking of the bed and moans.
"HOLD STILL!" he heard Itachi's voice.
"OWW! LOOSEN UP WILL YA! THAT HURTS! NOT SO DEEP! NOT SO DEEP! OWW-Mff!" Konan's voice was saying.
"Eeeh...WHAT THE HELL?" Pein yelled knocking the door down...only to find Itachi tying up Konan.
"MFF! MFF!" Konan tried to say something but failing because she has a gag tied around her mouth. But it all wasn't necessary. Because they both swore they saw steam coming out of his ears...
(Later...about 3 in the morning)
"So THATS what it was all about. No wonder everyone had to go to the hospital today. I was wondering where all that injury came from." Pein said.
Everyone nodded miserably. 'YOU are the one who gave those injuries to me.' Itachi thought.
"I expect you all to give up your plan because Konan is staying in Akatsuki. I am not losing a true evil member." pein said. Konan smirked.
"Everyone, apologize to Konan." Pein ordered.
"Sorry Konan." Everyone muttered.
Tobi walked up to Konan and sniffed. "Tobi thought Tobi was a good boy! Did Tobi do something bad?" He asked.
"Of course not Tobi. Leader, everyone should be punished with an exception of Tobi. He was very good and kind to me." Konan said.
"Very well. Everyone from now on should respect Konan and Tobi. Hear me?" Pein asked.
"SURE." Kisame muttered.
"We are following a NOOB." Deidara cried anime style.
"Now, why didn't Zetsu attend this meeting?" Pein asked.
Hiden took a flower pot out of nowhere. A mini Zetsu was planted in it.
"WATER ME OR DIE!" He squeaked.
"He got poisoned so we brought a plant revive powder from eBay. The side effect was this. he'll grow back to normal in a week." Hiden grinned.
"Okay. Since things are back to normal, everyone back to sleep. Its frikkking 3 in the morning." Pein sighed.
Everyone left. Konan bent over leaders table, to his face. "Thanks for helping me LEADER." She said pecking on his face.
"AHAHAHAHA! I-Its n-no p-problem a-at a-all! Y-You ca-can c-call m-me P-Pein if y-you want!" Pein shuttered, turning red.
"Goodnight then, PEIN." Konan said going out.
"What a woman." He sighed. He hadn't noticed Itachi said standing there.
"DON'T TELL ME THE REASON YOU ARE KEEPING HER IS BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER!" He yelled.
"She is evil, seductive and hot. What more in a woman could you possibly want?" Pein sighed.
"I think someone has been reading too much porn magazines." Itachi muttered.
"Nopz! Naruto fanfiction!" Pein said grinning like an idiot.
"Eh..." Itachi said twitching his eye and then fainted.
Sanashii: WHOO! Sorry for the late update! Hope you enjoy!