"TOBI!"
""Tobi where are you?"
"... sharingan...hm...not here..."
"YOO HOOO! LITTLE CHICKEN!"
"WHERE ARE YOU UN!"
"I WON'T PAY TO PUT UP POSTERS SO YOU BETTER APPEAR BEFORE ME!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF JASHIN GET YOUR *** OUT HERE YOU LITTLE *******!"
"Tobi we won't eat your cookies if you come."
"Well?" Pein asked as everyone came back to the assigned spot an hour later.
Konan shook her head. The others said nothing.
Sighing, Pein rubbed his temples. It had been a day since Tobi went missing and still there was no sign of him. They had at first assumed that he would return by nightfall since he was scared of the dark but it didn't happen. They waited all through dinner but he still didn't come.
'And today, breakfast was quiet without him.' Pein thought sadly. 'I miss the little nut.'
"Okay listen up. From now we are going to split up into two man cells. Each go to different towns to search for them! Kisame and Zetsu, go to the village of lightning. And ZETSU! Don't eat him!"
"Got it." The black Zetsu answered.
"Good. Konan and I will search the village of rain again. Kakuzu and Hidan, the village of sand. Itachi and Deidara, to Konoha. We will leave the village of rock, mist and waterfall for later. NOW GO!"
"Damn it! Where would that idiot go! Hm!" Deidara muttered.
"We are going to Konoha." Itachi stated.
"Why would he go there un?" Deidara asked.
"We are going to find out."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UN! TALK!" Deidara yelled, scaring Itachi and making him jump slightly. But the Uchiha quickly gained his composure and eyed the blond weirdly.
"Why? I thought you always wanted Tobi to shut up for once." He asked.
"NO I DIDN'T!" Deidara yelled.
Itachi held up a voice recorder and pressed start.
"TOBI SHUT UP UN!"
"TOBI YOU ARE SO ANNOYING UN!"
"WHY DON'T YOU DISAPPEAR AND LEAVE ME ALONE UN!"
Deidara gulped as he felt blue lines start to etch all over his face and turned away. "This is all my fault un..." He muttered leaning against a tree and Itachi continued to play the insults.
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI SAMA TURN IT OFF UN!" Deidara yelled.
"Hn."
"Is that even a word un?"
"I believe it is."
"It's not in the dictionary un."
"The dictionary is cursed then. Because it contains a limited number of words. The human mind can hold more than that."
"...Where is this going un?"
"...Towards your education?"
"COME BACK TOBI! UN!" Deidara yelled.
"Oh dear. He's not here." Kisame sighed. Zetsu was reading a book.
"HEY HELP ME SEARCH FOR THE CHICKEN!" Kisame yelled.
"Okay." Zetsu split into half.
"You so search. I'll read." The black zetsu ordered and the white Zetsu went. Black Zetsu continued reading but then noticed at Kisame had his eyes wide open, unable to believe how someone can practically split himself up and still stay alive.
But the shark man regained composure quickly. "What are you reading?" He queried.
"Oh this? It's 'The 1000 ways to make dishes of fishes' Why?"
Kisame screamed and ran for his dear life.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IDIOT WOULD GO ***** MISSING WHILE WE JUST ******* LEFT THE HOUSE FOR A ****** THREE HOURS! I MEAN COME ON! I CAN'T ****** TAKE IT INTO MY HEAD HOW ****** STUPID THAT ******* IS!"
Kakuzu just walked silently. "The sooner we find him the better. Because then, leader won't suggest putting up posters and that will cost money." He said.
"DO YOU ******* CARE FOR TOBI OR YOUR ******** MONEY?" The Jashin worshiper screamed.
"I didn't know you care so much." Kakuzu's eyebrow's went all the way up as he realized that Hidan didn't add an insult to Tobi's name this time.
"I DON'T!" Hidan yelled.
"...Hidan? You didn't curse."
"What the ****? So?"
"The only time you never curse is when you lie. I didn't know you'd miss that annoying guy with a lollipop shaped mask on all the time. Besides even you said he's annoying."
"ONLY ****** SOMETIMES! Besides...I got used to his ****** annoying chatter..."
Seeing his partner's depressed mood, Kakuzu decided to take his money out an count before the Jashin worshiper started screaming again.
"Konoha. It has been a while." Itachi said as he faced Konoha. Deidara smirked slightly.
"Artistic...very artistic." He eyed the village and turned to Itachi. "I don't know Itachi but if I were you I would have stayed here instead of joining Akatsuki."
"Why'd you leave your village then?" Itachi asked.
"It wasn't artistic enough." Deidara shrugged but then Itachi eyed him weirdly.
'What?"
"You didn't say un..."
"So?'
"...You are that worried for Tobi?"
"OF COURSE I AM!" A vein popped on his forehead. "Now let's go search for Tobi!" He jumped but then Itachi grabbed his collar, suspending him above the ground... from above the fourth hokage's monument...which was where they were staying.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
"Idiot! If we go there in these robes they'll find us!" Itachi hissed.
"Oh...right...un..."
"..."
Soon the two were disguised as normal civilians. Deidara put on gloves to hide his hands and they were ready. (I'm too lazy to write their description but they still look hot .)
"Let's go." Itachi muttered as he walked through the gates. The two Jounin briefly glanced up and nodded. The two entered.
"We'll split up. You take the left side of Konoha and I'll take the right. We'll meet up outside the gates in 5 hours." Itachi said and he left, leaving Deidara all alone.
'Jeez.' He thought looking around. He ran a hair through his blond hair (yes he didn't change his hair color! Cuz there are lots of people with yellow hair...) and sighed. How on earth was he going to find Tobi in this place?
He walked around looking at everyone carefully. But then, all he needed was an orange mask didn't he? 'Damn Tobi where are you? I'm damn worried!' He thought sadly. 'We all are...'
"OW!" He let out a sharp breath as someone fell on him.
"Oww dattebyo.."
Dattebyo! It couldn't be!
He turned and saw the kyuubi boy on him. "Owww Sakura chan..."
Sakura! AS IN SAKURA HARUNO! THE ONE WHO SINGLE HANDEDLY KILLED SASORI OF THE RED SAND?
The pink haired girl stomped over to them and he felt goosebumps rising. She she frowned when she saw him.
"NARUTO GET OFF THE CIVILIAN!" Sakura yelled at Naruto who got off at once. "Are you okay sir?' He extended a hand towards him but Deidara panicked.
"DON'T KILL ME UN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He fled.
"Huh?" Sakura muttered.
'Jeez...I can't see him anywhere. Might as well give up.' Itachi thought slumping down on the grass. He was in some training ground. Only he didn't care to know which one.
He then saw Sasuke approach and fought the urge to kick him and yell 'YOU ARE WEAK!' Nope...that would be weird. 'Also,' He reasoned. 'I'm not THAT insane.'
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He asked.
"That's my own business." He said coolly.
"Annoying. Hn." Sasuke muttered and taking a kunai out began to train. Itachi didn't watch. To him, Sasuke was just dancing around in the fields. Heh, true power exists in real ninja like himself!
"MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!" He laughed out loud evilly, making Sasuke back away with a freaked out look.
"Do you desire power?" Itachi asked.
Sasuke looked interested. "Yes."
"Hn. Then I will give you a good piece of information."
"Tell me! I want to beat someone! No...KILL HIM!"
Itachi raised an eyebrow. "First tell me something."
"Yeah?"
"The girl who killed the S ranked Sasori is in your team and I heard you claim that she is weak. How is she when you haven't killed an S rank yourself?" Itachi asked smugly.
Sasuke twitched his eye dangerously.
"Hn. Foolish bro- ... kid. You are weak." He stuck his tongue out and walked away after poking his forehead.
Sasuke stood silent and then...
"ITAAAAAAAACHIIIII!"
The birds flew away in terror.
Deidara ducked as he saw another flash of pink. He wondered why he was trying to hide from a girl without searching for his lost friend. 'Probably because she killed my nearly invincible partner!' He thought.
"Phew un." He sighed as she saw that it was just an umbrella.
"Hello. Haven't seen you around here." A lazy voice said casually.
Deidara turned and saw a masked man, reading a book.
"I'm new here un."
"My student told me that you are searching for a friend."
"Yeah un. But how did you find me?"
"Simple. She said you end all sentences with 'un' " He wrinkled his eye, showing that he was smiling. "I am Kakashi."
"KAKASHI THE SON OF THE WHITE FANG?" Deidara backed away.
"I'm flattered you know a lazy person like me." Kakashi said but then, the blond had disappeared again.
'NOW I HAVE TO HIDE FROM MASKED PEOPLE AND PINK THINGS!' he thought irritated. As he ran through Konoha, he suddenly spotted an orange masked guy with the Kyuubi boy and fell to the ground.
"DEIDARA SENPAI!" Came his shrill voice. Oh how he missed that idiot.
"TOBI I MISSED YOU UN!" Deidara hugged Tobi.
"Ehh Tobi miss you too senpai! But what is senpai doing in Konoha?" Tobi asked cocking his head to one side. Deidara noticed that Tobi had taken his Akatsuki robe off.
"I'll ask the questions un! Firstly the question about the reason for being in Konoha goes to you! Secondly, why the hell did you take of your robe! And third...WHY ARE YOU HANGING AROUND WITH THE FRIEND OF THE GIRL WHO KILLED SASORI DANNA?"
Tobi clapped his hands. "SENAPI THATS THE LONGEST SENTENCE YOU SAID SO FAR!"
"SHUT UP AND ANSWER UN!"
"Well Tobi got scared of the book and Tobi ran but then Tobi realize that the book was just a story but then Tobi thought he was lost in creepy forest full of creepy aminals! Then fox-san found Tobi and told Tobi that he can come to Konoha so Tobi came and played with friendly pink hair girl with awesome strength but Tobi got freaked out a bit so we played ninja all day so Tobi felt very warm and took his robe off!"
"...The third question un?"
"Flower Chan gave book to Tobi and is very friendly to Tobi!"
"...Oh..." He looked at Naruto who had his eyes wide open. "LET'S GO UN!" He pulled on Tobi's hand and ran.
"I'LL SEE YOU SOON FOX SAN!" Tobi yelled waving to Naruto who waved back. They were nearing the gates when ANBU stopped them.
"Let us see your ID!" They demanded.
"TOBI IF YOU HUG THEM THEY'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES UN!" Deidara yelled.
"YAY!" He hugged the two men and squeezed them so tight a second later, they fell limp.
"LET'S GO UN!" Deidara tugged on his hand and ran out.
"BUT TOBI WANTS COOKIE!'
"No time!" Itachi appeared beside him. "Sasuke found out we are here and alerted the ANBU!"
"Itachi senpai you are here too!" Tobi cried gleefully.
"YES LET'S GO/ UN!" The two screamed as they saw a huge group of ANBU chasing behind them.
"Have you found them?" Konan asked as Hidan and Kakuzu entered.
"WE ***** DIDN'T BECAUSE THE ********** HERE WOULDN'T ******** STOP COUNTING HIS ******** MONEY!" Hidan screamed.
"He searched alright, while I paid some ninja to try find him for me." Kakuzu glared. "But no luck."
Konan slumped on the sofa glumly. "Oh Tobi..."
The group stared her.
"What?" She snapped.
"Well no offense but normally you are um...unconcerned about these?" Pein chose his words carefully.
"WHO SAID I AM NOT! Well I am probably but losing him will make my opportunities to annoy those freaks forever! Besides! He's a good boy! He gave me a very relaxing foot massage and does whatever I tell him! HMPH!" She crossed her hands over her chest.
"Well we'll miss the little chicken..." Kisame sighed and then backed off as Zetsu started drooling over him.
"SUSHIII..."
"I'M NOT SUSHI DAMMIT!" Kisame yelled swinging his samehada.
CRASH!
The front door broke open and Deidara and Itachi tumbled in, breathless and exhausted. Behind them stood-
"TOBI! YOU ARE ******* BACK!" Hidan yelled.
"TOBI IT'S REALLY YOU!" Konan cheered.
"...Welcome." Pein turned to Deidara. "How come you found him in Konoha?"
"He met the girl who killed Sasori danna while running away from the book and she bought him to Konoha un." Deidara muttered.
"'THIS CALLS FOR A PAR-TY!" Kisame yelled. "SAKE! GET THE SAKE!"
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Kakuzu yelled. "THAT COSTS MONEY!"
"IT'S FOR TOBI!"
"HE'S TOO YOUNG TO DRINK DAMMIT! BESIDES YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S GONNA DRINK IT ALL!"
"OH JUST ******* SHUT UP AND ORDER THE ******* PIZZA AND SAKE OR COLA OR WHATEVER!"
"I THOUGHT DRINKING WAS AGAINST YOUR RELIGION!"
"WHEN DID I ******* SAY THAT?"
"SUSHI! ORDER SUSHI OF SHARK MEAT!"
"NOOOO! MY BROTHERS! ZETSU HOW COULD YOU!"
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE WIN!"
Pein sighed and looked at Tobi. "We are happy to have you back Tobi. Within two seconds you stepped back into the hideout you already have everything in chaos."
"Eh! Tobi is good boy Tobi didn't do anything!" Tobi raised his hands up.
"We know un!" Deidara muttered stomping to his room.
"Hey." Itachi called. "Don't you have something to say to Tobi?"
"...Right un. Tobi..." He turned to his teammate.
"Yes senpai?"
"I'm sorry for being calling you annoying un. You see you are really a good kid and makes everyone happy. I was wrong about you being the worst missing nin ever un. But you found the Kyuubi's location for us-"
"REALLY? TOBI YOU ARE A GOOD BOY!" Pein cried happily.
"-And," Deidara continued twitching his eye, still not daring to look at the orange masked boy. "For all the time I wished that you would disappear I didn't mean it un. We all missed you and we never would want a better member of Akatsuki then you un. So once again...I am sorry un."
Tobi stood there without a word.
"Tobi?" Deidara muttered.
"*SNORE*
" *Twitch* ART IS A BANG UN!"
BOOM!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"
"Hey the ****** pizza is here!"