Howdy doo! Ah, another beautiful and fun filled chapter at last! I bet you guys are itching to find out what I have created for our little boys :) Only... a love spat xD

I am quickening the time line here so the storyline with his Mom's illness progresses a little. Ah, how I adore this pairing! There needs to be more stories of PalletShipping!

I have also commissioned a drawing for this fic! Of Gary and Ash at the carnival :) It is linked on my profile page so check it out!

Anyway, I'll leave you guys to read the next instalment :)

Chapter Eleven: You're not shouting any more, you're silently broken

To my surprise a week past very quickly, I just put that down to the fact I was subconsciously loving the one person who made life that much better, and also we were getting along like a house on fire.

I visited Mom everyday with him, watching as she went through her gruelling physiotherapy, which apparently was meant to help her lung strengthen so it would inflate again. A part of me had doubts to whether it would work but he always kept optimistic about it.

Gary and I spent the majority of our time together, going out to places, watching films or just snuggling up in front of the television. I even managed to make a few phone calls to my friends, Brock and Misty.

I told them about our relationship and to my surprise Misty was supportive.

I knew Brock would be, but I expected the book to be thrown at me by her. She just said that as long as I was happy then she would too. That was comforting to know.

Things were going just perfectly for me right now, and, as expected something had to come along to ruin my happy mood.

It was a Friday evening, Gary and I were watching television, just enjoying each others company when I received a phone call. It kind of caught me off guard, as I did not think anyone would be ringing at such an inconceivable hour.

As I reached for the phone I knew Gary would be just staring at me, wanting to know what was going on. I did too.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

"Hello, can I speak to Ash Ketchum please?" The authoritative voice sounded. Scratching the back of my head I responded;

"Speaking,"

"I have news about your Mother, Delia Ketchum. The physiotherapy has not worked as we would have liked, and we need you to come down to the hospital immediately,"

I almost dropped the phone as I went numb.

It didn't work? Did this mean that she was... NO! This was not happening!

Turning to steal a glance at Gary he could tell by my expression that I was getting evermore upset.

"W-what? But... how? You said.."

"I will explain more in person, but please, try to get here as soon as possible. We need to discuss the next course of action with you,"

I swallowed hard, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

I couldn't believe it, I had been visiting her and she seemed to be getting better.

Why had it suddenly changed?

"I... I will get there as soon as I can," I mumbled, and with that I ended the conversation.

As I put the phone down and returned to my seat on the sofa Gary looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Who was that?"

Not even managing to look at him properly and feeling like the whole world was just crashing down on me I murmured;

"It was the hospital... it's Mom... the physiotherapy failed,"

As I placed my head in my hands I just wanted to cry. The thought of losing her was beginning to be too much for me. I could feel my body starting to tremble with uncertainty.

Gary's arms encased themselves around my convulsing body and pulled me close to him to calm me down. I found myself latching onto the emerald eyed boy for comfort. I needed him here, holding me and being a shoulder to cry on. My heart was just a broken mess right now and I wasn't sure how long I could hold it together.

"Try not to work yourself up too much, I am sure the hospital will sort it out," Gary soothed, gently combing his fingers through my hair as I buried my face into his shirt.

Inhaling deeply I closed my eyes. Even though I was eternally grateful for this simple gesture I could still feel my insides breaking and shattering as if it were made of glass.

"I... I'm scared Gary," I muttered, feeling very pathetic right about now.

All these emotions burning deep inside made me feel useless.

I could not help her in any way, I was stuck here just moping around feeling sorry for myself.

Nuzzling into my hair Gary continued to quieten me down with these simple gestures, and it was slowly beginning to work. My body wasn't so tense when he embraced me and I just could feel all my problems start to melt away.

"Don't be scared, I am sure the Doctor's will do everything in their power to make sure she will be okay," He assured me, holding me closer.

I sighed, half wanting to believe his words, yet my heart just could not. A part of me did not even want to leave here and go to that dreaded place, seeing all that white again was bound to make me feel nauseous.

Lucky for me I had Gary here for constant support, and no matter what I knew that I could rely on him. He would always be there for me, and that was something I couldn't ever take for granted.

Once I had finally accepted this fact Gary and I caught a taxi down to the hospital as it was rather late at night, and walking did not seem favourable. I just wanted to get there as fast as possible and be done with this. Knowing that there was a possibility of seeing her just as weak as before was ripping my heart apart, and it was only the support from Gary that kept me from falling apart.

As we sat in the taxi and went along our very quiet journey I felt him hold my hand to comfort me. Looking down I watched as his fingers intertwined with mine and squeezed softly. I gave a weak smile, genuinely content that he felt perfectly okay with holding my hand out and about.

At least that was something to be grateful for.

Stepping out of the taxi was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. As my eyes depicted that horrible building once again I could feel all my energy drain out of my body.

I sighed, not wanting to hear all their damn excuses to why she was still sick.

It was there stupid job to make sure she would get better, not to make everything worse.

"Try not to get too worked up in their Ash, after all, they are doing the best they can," Gary's voice entered my ears as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I gave a weak nod, not actually knowing if I would be able to contain my rage if they should tell me that it was their fault.

Maybe Gary would stop me from doing anything too drastic?

"I'll try, I won't make any promises though," I warned, placing my hand on top of his and squeezing gently.

As I turned to look at him he smiled at me. It wasn't a happy smile however, it was more awkward, as if he was trying to make me smile too.

Right now though that was not going to happen.

If the staff at the hospital had failed to do their job they were going to feel my wrath, that was a given.

As we both walked into the hospital, now comfortably hand in hand I noticed that there were not as many people hanging around as I expected. Probably because it was quite late at night and visiting hours were over.

The only people I saw scurrying about like beetles were nurses and the odd doctor here and there.

As we walked down the very familiar narrow corridor to where my Mom was being held captive I grimaced.

All this white was draining me of energy, I hated it with a passion.

Why did they have to paint these God forsaken buildings in this sickly colouring? I am sure the patients would prefer some splash of colour in here.

I held Gary's hand tightly as we walked down the very quiet corridor.

Deep inside I was a mess, wondering what I would find.

Would she be even worse than before?

Mentally kicking myself I dismissed that thought and tried to remain positive. There must be something else they could do.

"Ah, Ash" Came the familiar voice of the Doctor.

As I spun around, still holding Gary's hand for dear life I saw the tall figure of the authoritative man, holding some papers in his hands.

"Yes, is it... really bad?" I enquired, watching as the Doctor sped on ahead of us and lead the way to her room.

"Well, not as such. We can operate on her, but, we do need her consent to do so. Right now she is sleeping so we will not know if we can operate until tomorrow,"

I sighed, leaning against Gary for comfort as we walked.

Seems like this predicament was getting worse and worse. Operating on her? I would never have believed her illness to be so severe.

"What operation would you have to do?" Gary asked.

"We would have to make a small incision in her throat so we could get a tube down their to vacuum up all the excess fluid that is causing her lung the problems. If we do that then it should regain it's strength and be able to function on it's own,"

I grimaced at the thought.

Cutting her throat?

I know he said a small incision but still, when anyone spoke of operations my mind went into overdrive and I could imagine something a lot worse.

"Will she definitely get better after the operation?" Gary pursued, being my mouth piece for now.

As we came to a stop outside that familiar room all I could do was lean against him, sighing softly. All this news was making me feel depressed, and it was the first time I felt this bad.

Usually he would be able to make my problems fizzle away, but not this time. It had hit me like a rock in the face.

"There is a 95% probability that she will make a full recovery yes," The Doctor said with a reassuring smile, shuffling the papers in his hands.

Even so, my heart felt like it was made of lead and was constantly sinking as time lingered on.

I needed to get out of here, I didn't even want to see her. The thought of her suffering was causing a tsunami of emotions to well up inside.

"Thank you for telling us," Gary said kindly to the professional man, who adjusted the papers in his hands for the millionth time, I swear he was nervous.

"We will contact you tomorrow about her decision, in the meantime I suggest that you do not worry over this and try to get some sleep. We are doing everything we can,"

No... they aren't. If they was then he wouldn't be fucking standing out here talking to us! He would be in there with her, trying to sort out this stupid mess. For fuck's sake!

Scowling slightly I released Gary's hand and moved away, feeling my rage beginning to increase.

It was so unfair, why did I have to go through all this shit? I didn't deserve this, and neither did she.

As the Doctor issued an awkward smile he made his way into the room where she lay, probably in no fit state for visitors. I just wanted her to know that I was happy with Gary, and I wanted her blessing. Even though I knew she would not be disappointed in me for being Gay just to know she was happy for me would've been nice.

"Ash... if you keep frowning like that you are going to get really bad frown lines when you are a withered old man," Gary joked, nudging my arm slightly.

I looked at him and saw him smiling at me. Usually I would smile back, but not this time.

How could I smile at a time like this?

"Yeah... and you're going to be like a whiny old lady if you keep nagging me," I replied, a lot colder than I anticipated.

Mentally cringing I wondered if he took it to heart, but when I looked at him he just shrugged it off.

Thank God for that, I did not mean for it to sound so harsh.

As my eyes found their way to the floor I felt Gary's arm wrap around my shoulder and pull me flush against his side.

"Come on misery guts, let's get you back home,"

At that moment in time it was the best idea he had ever said.

I weakly nodded, and was almost being dragged out of the sickly white washed building by the taller boy. I didn't mind of course, if I had my way I would never want to see this place ever again.

I just... want to be able to smile again, and I know that when I am with him he makes me feel like that. Why... why do I feel so... useless?

As Gary called another Taxi so we would not have to walk home I just allowed my overexert mind to dwell on things.

Ever since I had heard that the physiotherapy had failed I just seemed to give up.

Maybe she wouldn't ever recover and she would be stuck in that infernal place for the rest of her life?

I sighed and leaned against a nearby street lamp, feeling a sudden cold rush enter my body. My eyes just watched Gary's relaxed figure as he spoke to the person on the other end of the phone.

How was it that he could always be so calm, and relaxed? I wished I could've been more like him, then perhaps I wouldn't be feeling as rotten as I do right now.

"They said it will be here in five minutes," He called out to me, shoving his phone into his pocket and started to walk over to where I was.

I gave a weak nod, turning my gaze away.

It wasn't like I did not want to look at him, it was just that I couldn't. It was already bad enough trying not to cry right now, and if I actually accepted this properly I feared for my sanity.

"Come on Ash, cheer up a little. It's not like they said she is dying," Gary tried to console, which of course did not work.

I stared at him, not knowing what to say back to that.

Yes, I knew she was not dying, but because the physiotherapy failed there was always that chance things could go from bad to worse.

"How can I cheer up when she is lying in there and all those stupid Doctors ever do is rush around and panic!" I said severely, resting my head back against the lamp post.

Biting the inside of my lip I cursed myself.

I knew I shouldn't be lashing out at Gary, he hadn't done anything wrong, but right now I just couldn't stop this fury. Sighing a little I heard Gary's voice again.

"Alright, no need to bite my head off you know,"

I'm sorry Gary, just right now... I need to vent.

When the taxi finally arrived and both Gary and myself entered the large black vehicle we were soon on our way back to my house.

The journey was in total silence as my eyes just concentrated on the scenery passing us by. My head was a mess, I had subconsciously convinced myself that now things were doomed and going to get worse. I just couldn't retain that optimism that Gary had, a part of me had just given up hope.

Sighing I leaned into the embrace of the seat, my eyes not managing to focus on anything in particular now. Everything was just a blur, and my heart continued to hurt inside.

I wanted my Mom back, happy and healthy, fussing over me as usual. I never thought I would miss that, but I did.

To snap me out of my daze I felt Gary's hand rest on my shoulder.

Even after everything he was trying to be supportive for me. I wished I could've given something back right now instead of sulking like an immature child.

Coping with things wasn't my natural talent, I knew that now, but even so I had to at least try to lighten up. My mood and this atmosphere was becoming as sour as a citrus fruit.

Soon enough we were back home, Gary paid the driver and sent him on his way as I just stood motionless in front of my house.

I could feel all my emotions piling up and getting stronger by the second.

This just wasn't home without her, it would never be the same.

"Come on Ash," Gary said softly, walking on ahead of me to the front door.

Swallowing hard I just felt as if I couldn't bear to go inside and be constantly reminded of her. Even though she was still fighting for her life the thoughts that were ruling my head were not so friendly.

I knew there was a chance that this illness could steal her away from me, and accepting it was difficult.

Breathing deeply I followed Gary's tall slim figure to the front door and reached for my keys in my jeans pocket. As I rammed them into the lock I just continued to think about how I was becoming so riled up and snappy at every little thing.

I hoped Gary wasn't taking this personal.

Turning the keys in the lock I pushed the door open and we both walked inside.

Upon entering my once humble home I threw the keys down on the table and found myself storming off.

Why couldn't I control my feelings and thoughts?

I was behaving so appallingly but I couldn't help myself. She was suffering in silence and I just couldn't handle it any more.

"Ash! Wait!" Gary shouted to me but I was long gone up the stairs on the way to my room.

I needed to get away, I needed to relax a little and unwind.

This constant nagging in my brain of what the Doctor's told me was eating me up inside.

Stomping up the stairs to my room I shoved the door open and walked inside. Right now I did not care if Gary was following me or not, right now I needed space.

For Fuck's sake! I don't need this shit! Why can't she just get better and come home? Why must everything hang in the balance? It's so unfair... and why does all this fucking shit happen to me?

As I sat down on the bed, head in my hands, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in my brain my ears detected the faint creaking sound of my bedroom door.

Gary had obviously followed me up here, worried about my unusual behaviour.

"For God's sake Ash! Calm the fuck down! You're going to have a breakdown if you carry on like this!" He almost pleaded.

As I raised my head and looked at him standing by my door I felt a wave of anger wash over me completely.

Calm down? CALM DOWN?

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down! I have just been told that my Mom's therapy has failed to work! How am I meant to feel Gary?" I shouted in rage, glaring at him before placing my head back into my hands.

I heard him sigh and shuffle around the room.

"Well, you're meant to stop acting like such a kid and grow up! Yes, the therapy failed, but it's not the end of the fucking world! There are other options you know,"

Gripping onto my head tighter I could just feel the anger continuing to rise, and the heat burning my face. He had no clue to how I was feeling, I don't think he ever had anything like this happen to him.

He has no right to lecture me about growing up! How can he say that when he has no fucking idea how this is affecting me?

Getting to my feet and just glaring at the taller emerald eyed boy I returned;

"You have no right to tell me how to behave! You haven't even been through what I am going through, you have no fucking idea how this is affecting me!"

Whilst my hands were starting to ball into fists I watched as he neared me, his stance sending off a negative impulse that seared through me.

Narrowing his eyes he glared at me coldly.

"Actually.. I fucking do. How the hell do you think I feel? I never get to see my Mom, she is too busy wrapped up in research in other countries to even bother to phone me and ask if I am okay. You still have your Mother, Ash, you're so lucky. So don't start having a go at me! Maybe if you wasn't so self obsessed then this wouldn't have happened!"

Oh no he didn't! He did not just go and fully blame me for this!

Getting nearer to the emerald eyed boy with my hands balled into fists I growled angrily;

"Oh right, so I suppose all this is my fault is it?"

"Yes, it is! If you weren't so fucking obsessed with being a Pokemon Master then your Mom probably wouldn't have worn herself out so much. Because you are so self obsessed and in your own perfect little world you allowed her to get sick, and you didn't even know! If Gramp's didn't phone you then you probably would still be gallivanting around Sinnoh as we speak!"

His words actually made me speechless.

They were true as well, if Professor Oak had not have called me then I would've been oblivious to it.

Maybe I was self obsessed... and maybe it was all my fault that she got sick...

My eyes looked downwards at the ground and my hands unclenched and relaxed at my side.

I couldn't believe what he said, it was all true.

I didn't even know about Gary's Mom so for me to say that he had no idea how I felt was kind of harsh. He did not even know if she was okay, or where she was.

At least I did, even if she was in a hospital.

"I..." I mumbled, now starting to feel incredibly sorry for myself.

"And you know it's true, so stop behaving like a stupid immature brat and grow up!"

I managed to raise my eyes so they looked into his.

His expression had softened now and wasn't as angry as before. His eyes had regained that beautiful sparkle that I cherished and for an odd reason I could feel myself beginning to well up inside.

Everything he had just said really hit home and made me realise that acting like this wasn't going to make her any better, in fact it would just make me feel worse.

As I continued to stare into his eyes I found myself beginning to edge closer to him, our faces drawing nearer with every second.

As the breath hitched in my throat I gently pressed my lips against his, as all these emotions and feelings about my Mom were starting to just fizzle away like dying sparks of a fire.

Suddenly without warning I was fiercely snatched away from those enticing lips and rammed harshly against a nearby wall.

Hands gripping onto the collar of my t-shirt I flinched in shock and terror.

Gary did not look pleased with what I just did and was keeping my back firmly pressed up against the wall. A burst of pain shot through me like a bullet and I winced.

Why did he do that? Was it the whole argument?

As I looked into his eyes I saw a mixture of two emotions, hatred and also lust. The deathly hold he had over me right now was almost enough to lift me off the ground.

"Not like that," Gary mumbled quietly, still glaring at me through narrowed green eyes.

I swallowed hard, wondering if he was just going to beat me up here and leave me to rot. The tenseness in his hands seemed to relax a little as time lingered on but even so, I kept thinking why he was doing this.

Did I really make you that angry? I am so sorry Gary, I never meant to hurt you. And the way you looked at me then, like you were silently broken. What I said I really regret, and.. I don't want to lose you.

Short and sweet I know, but next chapter will contain a lemon :)

I can't believe I have fanart now! I am so happy :3 Thanks to everyone who faves and reviews, they mean so much to me :)

Next chapter will be alot longer and of course alot steamier ;) look forward to it!