All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, everything else is mine.

Thank you Midnight Cougar for beta'ing!

New story because I wanted to give you all something while I'm working on some other things.

Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Another day. Another lunch at an empty table.

You could say it was my fault I didn't have friends anymore, because it really was all on me. I was just going through the motions, lost in the darkness. They tried to help, tried to get through to me, but eventually, one by one, they gave up. Even my boyfriend couldn't take it any longer, not that I blamed him. I wouldn't want to be tied to me either.

I played with the plate of mystery meat, not eating. I'd been doing a lot of that over the last year, to the point I'd dropped fifteen pounds. My eyes held dark circles beneath them, almost bruise like. I'd given up on my appearance long ago, not giving a shit. If I was dressed, that was good enough. Run a brush through my hair and done.

My mind had been obsessing all day about the kiss I shared with Edward. It was short, but it was filled with a spark that seemed to shock me. What did he mean when he pressed his lips to mine? It was all very confusing and I had no idea how to take it. I'd run away and hid in my room, not leaving for school the next day until he'd left for work, so I had no idea how he felt, or his reaction. Was it just a kiss goodnight that missed my cheek and landed on my lips? Or was it more?

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, but I didn't move. I didn't even attempt to think about going to my next class. The school year was over in a few days anyway, so what did it matter? I'd kept up my 3.8 GPA, despite everything, one class wouldn't hurt.

"Miss Swan, you need to head to your next class," Mrs. Wagner said, walking up to me, the rest of the cafeteria empty. She was my third period English teacher, and a kind woman.

"Do I?" I questioned, looking up at her.

I was tired of it all, tired of acting, trying to get through the day. She sighed and pulled out a chair, sitting next to me.

"Isabella, I know you've had a rough year," she began, but I didn't need another lecture about getting back on the horse, or whatever motivational speech she wanted to give me.

"I have to go," I said, cutting her off and standing, grabbing my messenger bag and flinging it over my shoulder as I stormed out.

I was tired of all the pity, all the lectures, all the tip-toeing around. One more year and it would be all brand new in college. Perhaps then things would be easier.

I walked out of the building and stared up at the bright sky. The sun always seemed to be shining, even on the day I buried my parents. It shouldn't have been that way. The sky should have been grey, the clouds opening up and pouring to the ground, just like my tears.

Those first few weeks were a blur, I didn't remember much. After the knock on the door, police officers… I don't remember what they told me, but they loaded me into the back of their cruiser. And then…and then I was at the morgue confirming the identities of Charles and Renee Swan.

I passed out in that cold room, only to come to in a hospital bed. Alone. It was something that I didn't realize at the time would become the norm. My grandparents were dead, my parents were both only children, so there was no one to take me in. I had no memory of who I stayed with that first week.

I woke for the briefest of moments at the reading of the will when he walked in. Edward. I thought he was there to read the will, imagine my surprise when I found out he was in it. I freaked when they read I was to live with him until I turned eighteen; that they'd left me in a virtual strangers care. They'd left an allotted amount of money for care, all of it going to Edward to help cover my cost of living while I was with him. The rest of the money was put into a trust for my college and living expenses until I turned twenty one, when I would get full access of the amount.

My parents ran a successful business, and both had large life insurance policies, making sure I was taken care of financially. I just wished they'd thought more about the who.

I really was a kink in Edward's lifestyle. He had a girlfriend when I came along, but she couldn't deal with it all and left after a month. It didn't help that I was pretty out of control those first few weeks with him, before the numbness took hold. Before I shut down and cut off the world.

Everything was black, including the BMW that pulled up next to me.

"Isabella!" he yelled, clearly pissed.

I stopped walking, my vision clearing and I looked around, confused. Not only was I no longer on school grounds, I had to have been at least three miles away. My eyes met Edward's and I watched his move from anger to concern as he jumped out of the car and walked up to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Bella, ssh, it's okay, I'm here," he cooed and it was then I realized the tears that were streaming down my face.

I was losing it. Maybe it was time to take therapy seriously, because if I was blacking out now, who knew what was next?

"Come on, honey, let's go home," he said softly, directing me to the passenger side of the car.

Honey? When did Edward start calling me that?

How long had I been sleepwalking through life? Did episodes like this happen often?

"Where were you going?" he asked as he started driving.

"I…I don't know. I didn't even know I was walking," I admitted. Edward groaned, shaking his head.

"Have you stopped taking your meds?"

Fuck.

I tried to remember the last time I choked down my anti-depressant or my sleeping pills. Days? Weeks?

"Bella?"

"I don't know."

The rest of the drive was silent, except for my gasp when I noticed the time; it was almost five.

Edward guided me to a chair and sat me down. My head was in a fog.

"Where are you?" Edward asked, kneeling before me, hands resting on my legs, and I stared at him.

"I-I don't know. My head just feels…fuzzy," I replied, my gaze meeting his.

"Have you been sleeping?" he questioned, but I didn't respond, just looked around. His hands were on either side of my head. "Focus, Bella!"

I mirrored him, placing my hands in his hair, resting my forehead on his, trying to focus on him, but everything was disoriented. Being that close all I could think about was the night before and that small, almost innocent kiss.

I wanted to blame being whacked out on side effects from going cold turkey off my anti-depressants for what I did next. We were so close, I couldn't help angling my mouth down and pressing it to his. It was his turn to gasp in shock, then melt into me, but instead of releasing him I deepened the kiss, needing more. Edward's arms wrapped around me, pulling me down to him so tight there was no space between us.

For the first time in almost a year my body began to feel, as his tongue entered my mouth. I was lighting up with a need I'd never experienced.

And then it was gone. Edward let go, removing my hands from him, his eyes wild and filled with lust. I didn't have time to protest, not that I knew what to say, before he was on his feet and walking briskly away. I sat there, fingers touching my lips, still feeling the tingling from his. In fact my whole body was tingling, more so where he touched me.

He returned with two bottles and a glass of water in hand. Pouring one of each pill into his palm, he handed me the glass of water and medications.

"Cell phone," he said, holding out his hand. It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

I pulled my phone out and handed it to him as I swallowed the pills, their chalky taste bitter in my mouth. Edward was typing something in my phone and then he handed it back to me.

"You now have a daily alarm set for nine every night to remind you to take your pills. If this is what happens to you, it's too dangerous for you to forget," he lectured, but his voice was still low.

"Too dangerous?"

"Do you have any idea how worried I was, Bella? The school called me a little before three and told me you missed your last few classes. I spent almost two hours driving around looking for you and when I did finally find you, thank God, you were out of your fucking mind. You were a zombie walking around, Bella! What if you walked into traffic and were hit by a car? What then?" he vented, angry. Long gone the compassionate man who picked me up.

"Then we'd both be better off, right?" I shot back, which from the look on his face was a bad idea.

He grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look him in the eye. "Don't you fucking say that again. Don't ever imply that you dying would be a good thing for either of us! I'm sick of hearing that shit from you, and it will end now."

"Or what? You'll spank me?"

Something dangerous flashed in his eyes as they darkened. "Go to your room," he commanded.

I stood, wobbling a bit as I did, and trudged off, suddenly very tired.

"Bella," he called out, sighing. I turned to look at him; one hand was knotted in his hair, the other on his hip. "Try and take a nap, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

I nodded and continued my trek down the hall. Once there I took my clothes off, leaving only my tank top and panties on, and fell onto my bed.

The only thing I liked about my room was that it really was my room. Edward had it decorated and set up just like my room at home. All of my furniture and belongings. It was a sweet gesture, but I wish he hadn't. On the nights I woke from nightmares, I thought everything was okay. I thought I was home, that my parents were just down the hall. The nightmare that had become my life was just that…a living breathing horror story.

It happened a lot in the beginning. The time was hazy in my memory, like a dream, but I remembered more than once leaving my room and screaming, crying, confused. Edward was there in an instant with his arms around me, trying to calm me.

Strange, I didn't remember that, yet I could see it clearly. I knew I'd been distant, cold, and a bratty bitch to him. Maybe he wasn't the asshole I insisted he was; maybe he was actually the wonderful friend and confidant my parents always raved about. Perhaps he had only been so aloof and unfeeling recently because I had gotten on his last nerve, pushed him too far.

Sleep took hold, and I passed out. Edward never did wake me for dinner, but I did remember being stirred by light caresses to my cheek and a gentle kiss to my forehead.