Hello my lovely readers and fans! So sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. One was because I was extremely busy with school and the other was because my laptop broke down. And now both are sort of fixed so I am BACK to updating!
Honestly, I have no idea where this fic is going. So I guess its going to remain random with no specific plot. I don't even have an ending for it... the ending though, will probably be some idiotic scene in the sunset near the ocean while looking towards the next day and shedding wriggly tears...
Anyhow, ENJOY! ^^
It was a fine day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, the wind was blowing, the trees were sighing, the grass was...being grass. Being stomped on by a masked person, as he ran around, trying to evade several explosions that were aimed at him by his oh-so beloved senpai.
"DIE TOBI!"
BOOM.
A pretty little blue bird that was chirping a while ago was gone and bits of feathers floated down in place. May it rest in peace.
"SENPAI I DIDN'T MEAN ITTTT!" The lollipop masked boy tried to calm his angry blond teammate down as he continued to dodge and jump to avoid being blown to death. Being blown to death, according to Itachi would be, having all his internal organs and external limbs strewn all over the place in the pool of blood while his senpai laughed evilly. And Tobi did NOT want that.
What did the kid do to make that terrorist bomber so mad?
"TOBI I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY, NOT TO TOUCH MY HAIR! AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MESSED UP MY PONYTAIL UN!"
"I'M SORRRYYYYYYYYYY!"
Meanwhile, sitting under a tree were the rest of the Akatsuki members with the exception of the great Pein himself, relaxing and watching the scene...while eating popcorn.
"This is better than television any day." Kisame snickered.
"Of course." Kakuzu huffed. "Television costs money! It causes eye problems, especially to Itachi and I have to pay for you guys hospital bills as well as the actual electricity bill!"
"Oh get a grip you miser." Konan rolled her eyes, irritated. "If we go broke I'll go rob another bank. Happy?"
At times like this, Kakuzu was grateful that the blue haired woman was in Akatsuki...even though he still hated her with a vengeance.
"This is ********* boring." Hidan muttered.
"Not really." Kisame grinned wider. "TOBI! THERE'S A LANDMINE UNDER THERE!"
Deidara yelled a couple of curses as Tobi narrowly escaped from the bomb that would have otherwise caused deep lacerations and burns if not for instant death. Like the poor little blue bird.
"..." Itachi just continued staring at them without a word.
Konan stared at each one of them carefully before, the most brilliant idea popped into her head. No, not pop. It was carefully planned. Konan's ideas do not POP. As in pop goes the weasel.
Weasel...like Itachi. Weasel meant Itachi. Therefore Itachi was equal to Itachi. Pop goes Itachi.
"POP GOES ITACHI!" Konan yelled.
Itachi felt his eye twitch furiously as everyone burst out laughing. He was definitely not amused.
"I do not find amusement in you using my name's meaning in replacement of a childish nursery rhyme." He said blankly, staring at her. Konan rolled her eyes.
"Oh hush killjoy." She grinned. "I got the most awesomest idea!"
"Awesomest is not a word." the Uchiha said deadpanned.
"NOW IT IS!" Konan screeched, making his ears hurt. As well as everyone else's. Poor Itachi was going to need a hearing aid as well as eye surgery...
"Anyhow." She huffed before the grin made the way to her face again. "Let's play a game."
"Like that creepy guy in that movie with a clown mask who kidnaps people and goes 'lets play a game?'" Kisame asked.
"Nop!" She grinned.
"Depends on which type of game it is." Itachi stated dryly. The genius was NOT fond of games. Oh he certainly was not. Uchiha don't play games. They were elite shinobi who were raised to become famous killers from cradle and-
"Truth or dare."
...play truth or dare.
"ALRIGHT! LET'S PLAY ******* TRUTH AND ******* DARE!"
"...Do you have to use those words in every sentence?" Kakuzu asked quietly.
"YES YOU MOTHER******* *******!"
"TOBI WANNA PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!"
Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Where is Deidara?"
"I gave him a sparkly pink hairband so senpai forgave me~! TOBI A GOOD BOY!" The masked boy did a ridiculous turn around and then clapped for himself.
"...Since when do Akatsuki wear pink hairbands?"
"Alright then! Let's start!" Konan announced as she bought in a bottle and sat between Tobi and Zetsu. "Now I assume you all know the rules of this game?"
"YES! TOBI DOES! TOBI DOES!" The masked boy began screaming once again, prompting his blond teammate to deliver a violent blow to his head and yell a 'SHUT UP.'
"...Everyone else clear with the rules?"
Konan smirked a everyone nodded and then, placing the green bottle on the ground, spun it. Everyone watched anxiously as the bottle kept turning around, each not wanting it to land on theirs. Their eyes nearly bulged out of their eyes as the bottle began slowing down.
And it slowed down to...
"KISAME! Truth or dare!?" Konan grinned.
The blue skinned man uttered a sentence of colorful words before he turned to look at the woman who shared the hair same color as his skin. "Truth."
"Are you a fish?"
A vein popped on his forehead. "NO I AM NOT A FISH! WHY DO YOU KEEP THINKING THAT?! I AM A HUMAN SHARK!"
"Sharks are fish Kisame..." Itachi said dryly.
"NO THEY ARE NOT! FISH ARE FOR EATING!"
"A popular delicacy among the Uchiha was shark fin soup..."
Kisame paled and shut his mouth at once. Why did it always have to go to that?! At Konan's order to turn the bottle, he did so and watched it spin around. It landed on Tobi, much to the boy's delight.
"Tobi truth o-"
"TRUTHTRUTHTRUTHTRUUUUUTHHHHA !"
"...Tobi you realize you can choose dare as well?" The white part of Zetsu asked.
"Huh? We can?"
"Doesn't matter." Kisame muttered. "He already picked it. Okay Tobi, tell us, where are you from?"
"FROM MOMMY'S TUMMY!" he declared, making everyone fall backwards.
"NO YOU IDIOT UN!" Deidara gave him another hit on the head. "HE MEANT WHICH VILLAGE!"
"...Ohhhh...but didn't I answer the question?" Tobi asked innocently.
Kisame twitched. "Did you answer that on purpose or..."
"It's the truth anyway." The orange masked boy retorted, crossing his hands over his chest.
"...So Tobi has a brain?" Kakuzu muttered.
"SO F****** AMAZING!"
"Quiet down!" Konan sighed. "Tobi. Spin the bottle."
Tobi obeyed and they once again watched the bottle go round and round and round...and stopped at Deidara. "Well un..." he rolled his eyes. "Dare." He said before his partner could ask him.
Everyone grinned as they looked at Tobi. "Ne Tobi! Give him a good dare!" Kisame hissed.
"Jeez forget it. The kid can't-" Deidara started to smirk when Tobi did a very loud 'AH HAH!' in his ears. Before he could retort, the kid stood up and did the GAI pose. Which of course no one but Itachi and himself had the knowledge of. Itachi since he defected from Konoha and Tobi because...well you know the story.
"DEIDARA SENPAI! I DARE YOU TO GO SING 'I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROADS IN A GIRLY VOICE WHILE WEARING A COWGIRL OUTFIT WITH ONLY A BRA AS A TOP!"
Everyone froze. Literally. It remained like that for a good 5 seconds, before everyone burst out laughing and Deidara turned red in the face and protested loudly, cursing at Tobi and threatened to blow him up. But Itachi hid him behind his back.
"Now Deidara." He smirked. "You know you cannot back down on a dare."
Deidara could only curse and threaten every living and non living thing on the planet while flailing his arms around while Konan magically bought in the costume Tobi described.
"NOW SING." She grinned.
'SING, SING, SING, SING, SING, SING' everyone began echoing as they circled him. Deidara could only gulp huge amounts of air before letting out a shriek.
Pein was busy...very busy. Yet again he was planning on how to dominate the world. An ordinary villain would have given up long back. But Pein was no ordinary villain. Of course not. He was PEIN.
Right now he was trying to figure out on how to lure the Kyuubi container out of the village. Thanks to Tobi, his location was revealed. So now, all thats left to do was to kidnap the kid. Problem was, a perverted yet very powerful old man was teaching him. And getting in his way meant...death.
He shuddered. Good lord he hated that word. Even if he considered himself a kami.
As he picked up a document, he heard a high pitched voice that he could not, at first make out the words of. But then it started to sound clear.
"IIIIIIIIIVEEE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAILROADS! ALLLLL THE LIVE LONG DAYYYYY!"
Pein twitched. What the actual hell?
"IIIIIIVE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAILROADS! JUSSST TO PASS THE TIME AWAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!"
He did not recognize that voice at all. Well, perhaps it was slightly familiar sounding within pitches. But then he had no clear idea who it was.
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T YOU HEAR THE WHISTLE BLOOOOOOOOOWING? RIIIIISE UP EARLY IN THE MOOOOOORNING!"
Okay he had enough. Standing up, he marched to the door and swinging it open, poked it head out and screamed in the loudest voice he could bring up. "WILL YOU DUMBASSES SHUT THE HELL UP I'M TRYING TO WORK!"
Roars of laughter was heard and it was followed by a pattering of feet. Pein just shut the door and walked back to his desk, not bothering to think of who the singer was. Instead he focused on trying to plan traps to catch the Kyuubi.
He enjoyed blissful silence...for about 7 minutes. Before he heard an annoying song blast on.
"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!"
Wait...was that Itachi's voice?! Widening his eyes, he sprang out of his chair, flew out of the room, followed the music into the front yard to see...Itachi wearing nothing but striped shorts dancing and singing.
The two Dojutsu masters stared at each other in silence, with the exception of the squeals of fangirls hiding behind obvious places. Then, Itachi proceeded to break it.
"WIGGLE, WIGGLE, WIGGLE, WIGGLE, WIGGLE YEAH!"
Pein felt his left eye break into a series of twitching while squeals of fangirls overcame the noise of the song.
"What the actual F*** Itachi?!"
Itachi just picked up the radio and walked back inside. Pein followed him. "Itachi!?"
"Dare." He merely answered.
"Dare?" Pein repeated dumbly.
"We are playing truth or dare." He answered as he wore his Akatsuki robe on and proceeded to go to Tobi's room. Pein poked hs head inside as Itachi entered and watched as everyone laugh at him.
"Oh Pein sama! Konan greeted cheerfully. "Wanna play?"
"So this has been going on for HOW long?"
"A while un." Deidara muttered. Pein noted what he was wearing...
"Shouldn't you rather be...planning to take over-"
"Relax!" Konan stood up and forced Pein to sit down next to her. "Relax for once! Taking over the world can wait! Let's all relax and play truth or dare, a fun game that strengthens our bonds as fellow Akatsuki!"
"As if." Kisame muttered to which, Konan glared at him. Itachi merely spun the bottle.
"Zetsu. Your turn."
"Dare." He grinned. "I love dares."
"...Go kill that rose bush."
Pein was loving this game already. Sadist as he was. He grinned as he saw Zetsu stand up and drag himself to the pot. "Y-You evil...evil...creatures..." He whispered. "You...you..."
"Just ******* do it already!" Hidan whined. Zetsu shot him a glare before eating the rosebush. Whole.
"Imagine that were a human." Itachi said quietly. "Quite a remarkable feat."
"STOP GIVING ME IDEAS FOR NIGHTMARES!" Deidara yelled.
"How can you get ideas for nightmares?" Konan blinked. "I thought you just have them."
"No, for some people with uncommon minds, they plan their dreams out quite well." Itachi nodded.
"That goes for me." Pein smirked. "With hardwork and passion, I dream of taking over this world!"
"My dream is to become the richest alive. We all in Akatsuki have uncommon minds so we have uncommon dreams." Kakuzu nodded.
"HOW IS THAT UNCOMMON UN?!" Deidara pointed at Kakuzu.
"Dreams are surely part of everyone's life." Konan placed a hand over her heart. "Maybe all we need to do is to plan our dreams out well."
"WEREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT NIGHTMARES?!" Deidara twitched his visible eye. "BESIDES WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SLEEPING DREAMS UN!"
"That's right." Itachi blinked.
As Deidara was about to sigh in relief, Itachi dropped a rock on his read. Not in literal meaning. But surely was one.
"How many of you dreamt that you slept with someone?" Itachi asked.
"EHHHHHHH!?" Deidara yelled turning red in the face. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"
"I ******* DREAM IT ALL THE TIME!" Hidan laughed.
"OF COURSE YOU SLEEP NAKED THATS WHY UN!"
"I've had several pleasant dreams." Pein turned a pinkish shade in the face. "And it's about a special someone."
"I wonder who could it be?" Konan looked at him with a blush.
"If only you knew..." Pein smiled softly as he returned the gaze.
"OI! HOW IS THIS TURNING INTO A SAPPY LIVE ROMANCE FILM UN?!" Deidara screeched.
"Speaking of which," Kisame crossed his hands over his chest as he turned to Itachi. "Who did you dream of Itachi?"
"Stop ignoring me un." Deidara muttered in between was was promptly ignored. Again.
"I dreamed of a certain girl." Itachi closed his eyes softly. "A beautiful, strong willed woman, with flowing short hair and beautiful eyes-"
"Short hair? In make up for your long hair Itachi san?" Tobi asked, interrupting him.
"I wonder if that is so." Itachi looked up to the ceiling, hands crossed over his chest. "I met her that day...a day I will never forget..."
Flashback
Itachi was walking through the streets of Konoha, looking for an orange masked man. He was just about to give up, when he saw a dango shop. He loved dango as it replenished his energy.
Entering the shop, he sat down on a lone table and ordered his food. He was lonely. Time came long ago when he would enjoy this sweet with his brother. But due to reasons he was no longer one with his family.
Itachi wasn't cruel. He was a kind person...with weird thinking...and a little bunny named Chichi which he couldn't sleep without.
"Anou, are you alone here mister?"
He looked up slowly at the kind voice and widened his eyes. Before him stood a beautiful girl. He thought at first that she was an angel. An angel sent from heaven to appease his unhappy heart perhaps?
"Since there are no free tables...may I share this with you?" She asked with a smile.
"Yes. You may." he nodded and watched the girl smile wider and sit in front of him.
"I haven't seen you in Konoha much." She said quietly. "Though I have the feeling I have once seen you. Somewhere. I think it was long ago."
She closed her eyes. "It was the cherry blossom festival..where he rescued me from bullies."
"I too...have saved a girl from bullies once. A girl about the age of my brother."
Could this be love at first sight? A coincidental meeting? One decided by fate? One that-
ZZZP!
"OI!" Deidara yelled. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NARRATING THAT?!"
"What? I just got lost in my memory." The Uchiha stared blankly at him.
"NO YOU WERE NARRATING IT OUT LOUD UN!" He pointed his finger at him.
"I wonder who that girl was." Konan said.
"She had pink hair." Itachi said thoughtfully.
"WASN'T THAT THE GIRL WHO KILLED SASORI!?" Kakuzu yelled.
"Sakura Haruno?" Pein paled. "The one who killed Sasori...the one with pink hair who took him out with a single punch?"
"STOP TALKING ABOUT SASORI DANNA'S DEATH!" Deidara whined and then went into a corner. "Dammit I give up un..."
But Itachi was already in a pink background with sparkly diamonds and stars, a creepy look on his face.
"Sakura...what a beautiful name..."
"How come every time we mention Konoha we mention Sakura?" Zetsu muttered shrinking back a bit.
"OH! DON'T FORGET NARUTO SAN!" Tobi cheered.
"The Kyuubi!" Pein nodded and stood up. "Reminds me. I have to get working on my plans to capture him!" He walked off and closed the door.
"Why would leader want to capture the Kyuubi again?" Tobi asked.
"To take over the world." Kisame muttered as he looked at Kakuzu trying to wake Hidan from his 'ritual' sleep again.
"What were we even doing in the first place?" Kakuzu turned his head around. Everyone shrugged, not even noticing the lonely green bottle that lay in the middle of the room.
Well that concludes this chapter! I hope it turned out ok. I think I drank something weird...I feel so woozy today. -_- Ah well till next time!