Hope it's long enough, sorry for the incredibly long wait, a mix of bad excuses and laziness later though, and this is up. Hopefully, I should be able to get the next chapter up quicker.
LSATB: S1E2: The End of the World Chapter 2: Greetings from the Aliens
John ambled beside the Doctor, eyes glancing every which way to take it all in. Her eyes watched him, amused, as the human gaped and gawked. She loved this part: the first day, first new planet, first real adventure. Their eyes got so huge, almost as big as their mouth as all those delightful first questions popped out.
Of course, the first ones were always about the TARDIS, but the Doctor wanted to hear John's thoughts about everything. It had been so long since she had had a companion, and, to be honest, she was a little scared she had traumatized him with having the first new thing he see be the destruction of his planet.
"So, when it says 'guests' does that mean people?" John asked abruptly, wondering curiously if there were aliens like he thought there could be.
"Well that depends what you mean by people," the Doctor replied cheerfully but cryptically, as per usual. John rolled his eyes.
"I mean people," he paused, eyes brightening with what the Doctor was implying. "What do you mean?"
"Aliens," she shrugged, pretending it was no big thing. Aliens? Yeah, my next-door neighbor s one.
"What're they all doing here?" John wrinkled his nose, glancing about even more, wide brown eyes curious and trying to understand absolutely everything. "What's it all for?"
The Doctor bent, sweeping the glare of the sonic screwdriver over the door's mechanisms.
"Watch the earth get burnt." John blinked. Why would anyone want to see a planet die? What kind of sick people would hang around a dying star that's going to explode and take out planets with its own death?
The door swept open and they entered a much bigger observation gallery. The Doctor tucked away her screwdriver and put her thumbs in the pockets of her leather coat.
"Mind you, it's only the rich here," she added, as if it really mattered. It was expensive to come see a planet die? John was feeling a mixture of revulsion and curiosity. It would be like if he shelled up a couple thousand pounds to see a war.
"The sun expanding," John frowned. "That's supposed to take... millions of years."
"Yup," the Doctor nodded. "But the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there?" She pointed at the tiny glints of light orbiting the earth. John peered closer. "Gravity satellite. That's holding back the sun."
John could've been amazed by the fact the earth's continents hadn't shifted, but he was another question that seemed less... well... stupid. "That must take... how does it hold back the sun?" The Doctor grinned, than shrugged.
"Magic," was the false answer, but to be perfectly honest, the Doctor didn't know and didn't really care. It was boring to her, leave the pushing away and aversion of the inevitable to the 20th century French and turtles hiding under their shells.
"What about the continents shifting?" John asked dubiously, wondering if the Doctor would ever give him a proper answer. "They shift over time, right?"
"Course they do," the Doctor shrugged, then pointed back to the satellites. "The Trust shifted them back. That's classic Earth." She walked away, a familiar pang in her stomach. "But now the money's run out, nature takes over." She cleared away the stone in her throat and took John away from the window. She didn't really want to see another planet getting blown up.
"How long has it got?" John peered over his shoulder as the Doctor practically muscled him away from the window.
"'Bout half an hour," the Doctor glanced at her watch. "And then the planet gets roasted." Her eyebrows jumped, as if in excitement, but that was the last thing she felt about the death of a planet.
"But you jump in, right?" John smiled a little, eyebrows furrowing over his dark eyes as he watched her back go rigid and unresponsive. "That's what you do. Save the Earth at the last minute?"
"No," her voice is low, soft. John blinked, confused. Isn't that what she had done last time? Saved the planet? And now she was just... going to let it burn? "I'm not saving it. Time's up."
"B-But what about the people?" John tried not to get angry. The people she was just defending to the last huge creature that was going to destroy the earth, the people she seemed to want nothing to do with but loved them at the same time. She was just going to let them burn?
"It's empty," it made it no better to the Doctor, that just meant at least no one was dying, but it was still a burning planet. The people would have no home to come back to, no planet that made them all humans together. "All gone, all left."
The blankness in her tone made John pause, as well as feel a little awkward and out of line. She hadn't been avoiding saving the humans, there were no humans left on the planet. What was the point of saving an empty planet when it was going to die and there was really not much she could about it?
"Just me then," he shrugged, wondering where all the other humans had gone off to, wondering if they had changed by now. 5 billion years. Evolution must've had a field day on the human race. Not that John necessarily believed in evolution, there were too many holes in the theory for him to think it could be the only answer. Sure, the slow adaptation of a creature to its surroundings... but physically changing over time? With mutations, which are more often dangerous to a creature than helpful? It didn't really make logical sense to John, but nothing else did either.
A blue man in a golden robe hurried over to them, his face a picture of stressed anger, "Who the hell are you?"
"Oh! That's nice, thanks," the Doctor's demeanor immediately went from gloomy to excited at the sight of the alien. John's jaw tried hard to drop at the strange sight of the furious alien, but he was too shocked for even that.
"B-But how did you get in?" John smiled at this, realizing many people and aliens must ask her this. How did she answer each time, he couldn t help but wonder. "This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked! They're on their way any second now!"
"That's me, I'm a guest, look!" she flashed out a black billfold with the widest, fakest smile John had seen on her thus far. "I've got an invitation! Look, there you see? It's fine, see? The Doctor plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is John Smith. He's my plus one." The Doctor paused, fake concern on her elfin features as she clacked her tongue in mock distress over her teeth. "That alright?"
John had a feeling, even if it wasn't alright, the Doctor would continue doing what she did best.
Annoying and charming her way into everyone's graces.
"Well..." the blue man hesitated, blinded by the Doctor's wide beam and thrown off by the appearance of a registered ticket. "Obviously." Better safe than sorry, he thought to himself with a sigh. "Apologies, et cetera... If you're on-board, we'd better start. Enjoy." Nodding, the blue steward hurried off, looking very agitated by this disruption of events. In fact, he very much was agitated. Surprises like these did not bode well for the rest of the itinerary of the evening...
Watching the steward worry over himself reminded John oddly of Winnie the Pooh, muttering 'oh dear, oh dear, oh dear' under his breath. Unless that was Rabbit... or the White Rabbit...
"What's that?" John peered over the Doctor's shoulder to see the billfold she had flashed at the steward. Was it really an invite, or did she have a coupon or newspaper clipping that just fooled everyone into thinking she was invited?
"Oi, stop being taller than me," she snapped playfully at him before revealing the blank paper in the wallet. "Psychic paper. Shows them whatever I want 'em to see. Saves a lot of time." John nodded, processing this.
"And, he's blue," John frowned a little. Was that natural?
"Yup," she popped the 'p', smiling a little.
"Oh-kay," John tilted his head, wondering what other aliens looked like. Were they all humanoid but with different coloured skin? Or...
"We have in attendance, the Doctor and John Smith," the steward spoke through a microphone, which seemed highly unnecessary as there was no one else in the room. "Thank you! All staff to their positions."
From nowhere, hordes of little blue people - which, unfortunately, made John irretrievably think of Oompa Loompas - streamed from all sdes of the room, tromping off, presumably to wherever they were needed. John watched them, barely stifling little giggles as he hummed an applicable song to himself, unsure whether they were more like munchkins or Oompa-Loompas. The Doctor glanced at John, almost laughing at the human's obvious delight of the small aliens, and was unsure whether to tell him to stop or join in on his humming.
"Hurry now! Thank you, as quick as we can! Come along, come along!" The steward encouraged the workers along, rushing them out of the main receiving room. "And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest, representing the forest of Cheem, we have Trees." Trees? John thought, blinking. Were they alive? Yes. "Namely, Jabe, Lute, and Coffa."
Three aliens, skin olive in colour and bark-like, but humanoid in shape, glided across the floor, two dressed in armour-like coverings, while the first striding forward was obviously female and dressed in fineries. Her face was smooth and her eyes dark and her smile sweet, John found himself staring at her in particular.
The Doctor glanced at John, then followed the direction of his eyes to the female tree, and rolled her eyes.
"There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you can keep the room circulating, thank you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, the Moxx of Balhoon." John wrinkled his nose as the lumpy blue figure rolled out on a mechanical device that, obviously, carried him around.
"And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme." Fve figures in black cloaks and only one metal arm exposed each stepped out. The Doctor stared at them curiously, eyes more attentive to them than anyone else.
"The inventors of hyposlip travel systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you!"
The brothers were lizard-like, almost humanoid in that they stood on two feet, but very little else seemed human at all.
"Cal 'Spark Plug'... Mr. and Ms. Pakoo... The Ambassadors from the City State of Blinding Light..." John was starting to lose track, watching as less and less human-like aliens came from the doors. The female tree approached them, a small sapling in a pot held in her hands gifted out to John, lips smiling.
"The gift of peace," she gave the plant to John, eyes dark and flirtatious. "I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather." John blinked, unable to speak. He was holding a part of her *Grandfather*, should he thank her? What was he supposed to do?
Luckily, the Doctor knew what to do. She rolled her eyes behind John's back and came forward, smiling broadly. "Thank you!" Er, gifts, great, she should've expected this... um trees, presents, peace... ah! "I give you in return, air from my lungs." Breathing out, she smiled, and Jabe raised an eyebrow, looking the Doctor up and down before smiling a little.
"How, intimate," she purred a little, making John quirk his own eyebrow.
"There's more where that came from," the Doctor grinned back, bouncing on her heels.
"I bet there is," Jabe winked at the Doctor before gliding away, much to John's dismay, and her place was to be taken by...
"The Moxx of Balhoon!" the Doctor exclaimed cheerfully.
"My felicitations on this historical happenstance," the bluish blobby creature squeaked cheerfully. "I give you the gift of bodily saliva." With that, he spat rather accurately into the Doctor's left eye.
Laughing, she squinted the eye shut and bowed a little, "Thank you very much." When he turned around, she quickly wiped the 'present' from her eye with a wry grin. John smirked a little at her and she gave him a playful warning glare.
"Watch it, I'm the one in charge of getting you a ride home," she chuckled. John only smiled, knowing that he didn't really want to go home. Up here and in time was much more fascinating.
Silently, the Adherents of the Repeated Meme crept up to the Doctor and John.
"Ah! The Adherents of the Repeated Meme," the Doctor grinned, covering her suspicion of them. Who else other than evil people covered their whole body in black cloaks, after all? Well, and vampires, but they were inherently evil as well... sometimes... "I bring you air from my lungs."
After heavily breathing out over them all, she stepped back and waited for their reply.
"A gift of peace in all good faith," the leader stood forward, offering out a large silver egg, as it growled out its words. Eying the egg, the Doctor weighed it in her hand and tossed it up in the air, catching it easily, before handing it to John very carefully. She wondered, briefly, if she should do that, as companions always tended to be rather accident prone, and she wasn't quite certain if she trusted the Memes.
"And last, but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and Gentlemen, and Trees and Multiforms," John smiled at the use of the word, It was rather similar to if he had simply said 'miscellaneous'. "Consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth The Last Human." John glanced up, eyebrows furrowed over his eyes, confused. Did the steward mean him? No, a mechanical device stretching out a... was that skin with eyes and a mouth? Eurgh...
"The Last Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen."
John stared, disbelieving, head swimming a little. Oh god, that was a human?
"Oh now, don't stare," Cassandra chuckled prettily, acting all the lady. "I know, I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference! Look how thin I am." John tilted his head, eyes still wide. The Doctor chuckled to herself, eyes glancing to John just in time to catch the brief panic that passed over the human's face. She frowned a little to herself as John began creeping around the edge of the room.
"Thin and dainty! I don't look a day over two thousand," the skin chirruped before glancing to the two guards beside her, murmuring, "Moisturize me, moisturize me."
"Truly, I am The Last Human," John eyed the empty skin up and down, staring oddly, wondering how this thing was moving let alone thinking or speaking.
"My father was a Texan. my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in the soil." John looked at the brain in the blue canister below the skin, stared at the red veins rippling through the 'last human', gaped a little as she spoke and he saw the room through her mouth.
"I have come to honour them, and..." she sniffed a little, "say goodbye. Oh, no tears. I'm sorry. But behold! I bring gifts." From behind her, the little blue people pulled out a black pillow with an egg lying on it. "From Earth itself - the last remaining ostrich egg." The blue person lifted the egg and revealed it to the whole room. "Legend says it had a wingspan of 50 feet and blew fire from its nostrils."
John stifled a laugh, about to correct her when the Doctor shot him an amused shake of her head.
"Or was that my third husband?" Cassandra mused with a small chuckle. "Who knows! Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines! ...And here, another rarity," John watched, bemused, as an old-fashioned jukebox was wheeled out. He briefly wondered what they were going to get wrong about this machine.
"According to the archives, this was called an IPod," John snorted to himself. "It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers." Giggling, John put a hand over his mouth, eyes gleaming with laughter, only a trickle of uneasiness seemed to run through him now. "Play on!"
"Tainted Love" echoed from the speakers, and the aliens, once clustered in their little groups, mingled among each other now, chatting and discussing alike. The music played over them, and John then realized just how strange this was.
Aliens, the earth was dying, the music...
'Sometimes, I feel I've got to, run away I've got to! Get away...'
"Refreshments will now be served. Earth death in 30 minutes."
Oh, that wasn't helpful, John thought with a grimace and a painful twist to all of his organs.
Heart quickening, breathing was getting more difficult... he blinked aside clammy sweat and turned around, heading quickly for the doors. Where was the toilet when you needed one?
The Doctor paused from her appreciation of the music to follow John, worried that she had managed to make yet another companion's mind melt from the sheer information overload that visiting the future usually did to the poor humans.
"Doctor?" the tree woman, Jabe, interrupted the Time Lady's rush to help John. It was quite a nuisance, really, just to snap a photo. "Thank you." The Doctor hardly thought of it, only worrying that John was in trouble, like her companions usually were when they wandered off.
"Identify species," Jabe hissed to the machine in her hands. "Please identify species."
The machine only whistled piteously, as if confused.
"Now stop it," Jabe instructed sternly. "Identify his race... Where's she from?" After a moment of distressed bleeps, the computer offered up the information. Jabe gaped a little, glancing back to where the Doctor had disappeared. "It's impossible!"
I hope that's long enough. I should be starting on the next chapter while you're reading this. And, honestly, I'll just be happy if people read this, but reviews will make me write faster :) just saying.