Kurt Hummel crept quietly down the stairs, anxious not to wake his parents at such an early hour. He was exhausted and in need of coffee.
"Morning sweetheart." His stepmom Carole startled him as she emerged from the kitchen.
"Coffee is all ready if you'd like some. I'm on an early shift today, your Dad is still sleeping I think."
Kurt smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her cheek as he passed.
"Thank you, you're an angel."
"Talking of sleep," Carole continued as she followed Kurt back into the room she'd just vacated, "You look like you didn't. Sleep, that is. At all."
"I don't think I did really." Kurt sighed as he filled his mug and sat down at the table. "Still, it's not like I'm not used to it." He smiled weakly as he stirred his
drink.
"Talk to me honey," Carole urged gently as she sat next to him and placed his hand over his.
"Seeing Blaine yesterday must've upset you."
"It's not that," Kurt replied, pausing to run his hands through his hair while he tried to find the words.
"It's...well, I guess it is that, but it's so much more. He looked so different Carole. Older, yes, but just so...so...sad I guess."
"Well he has just lost his Dad, Kurt. He's probably wrestling with all kinds of emotions right now. He's had four years of re-building a tentative relationship with
him, and now it's all gone. Plus, he's 26 years old and suddenly in charge of a very powerful attorney business. It's a lot to take in."
Kurt shook his head.
"It's more than that though. I know Blaine...or at least, I did. It was like the fire in his eyes had gone out, Carole. Like all the joy had left him. Sure, he's going
through a lot right now but...he looked for all the world like he was still existing, but had stopped living."
"Kurt, honey," Carole began tentatively, "Do you think you should maybe try and hear what your Dad has to say? You didn't let him speak last night before
declaring you were tired and heading to bed. We know he spoke to him, maybe he can shed some light on how he is."
"No." Kurt stated firmly, before pushing his chair back and standing up.
"No. I can't hear it. I just can't. It took me four years to get to the point where I no longer cry every night, and feel sick when I wake. And what did I do? I
decided to go there yesterday, just to torture myself I think. I couldn't even stay, Carole. I ran away like the coward I am. I couldn't bear for Blaine to look at
me without any love in his eyes. It's over. It was over four fucking years ago, and it's high time I got used to that."
"Now you listen to me Kurt," Carole stated as she crossed the kitchen to take hold of his arm before he could leave.
" You are not a coward. You're one of the bravest people I know. Look at all you've gone through. The bullying, not getting into NYADA, all those nights staying
up til 4am to get your designs looking flawless for runways..."
"I'm only brave when Blaine is with me." Kurt whispered.
"Not true, Kurt," Carole replied, taking the young man's face in her hands.
"It took real courage to go there yesterday. Blaine would've appreciated it I know. He's probably still in Westerville, why don't you drive out there later and see
him? You could borrow Finn's car."
"I can't. My flight leaves this evening, I've got stuff to do, and I promised Rachel I would meet her for coffee after school."
"Kurt..."
"Besides, like you said, Blaine will have a lot on his mind. No doubt he's gone into the Westerville office today or something. He's probably tied up in meetings
all day. Yes." Kurt finished, with more than a hint of panic in his voice.
"Kurt..."
"He won't want to see me Carole. I know. I'm in his past now. He's moved on."
"KURT!" Startled, Kurt jumped when he heard Carole yell.
"Thank you." She continued in a much softer voice.
"Now, stop rambling, go and take a shower and promise me you will at least think about it. I'm sure Blaine could use a friend right now."
"Ok, ok. I'll think about it. But I won't change my mind," Kurt called over his shoulder as he stomped up the stairs.
Carole smiled to herself.
And so it was that Kurt found himself pulling up outside Blaine's childhood home just before noon. The drive over had been uneventful, Kurt had purposefully
kept his mind off the task in hand by blasting show tunes and singing along loudly. But now, as he sat in the car with shaking hands and a dry mouth, Kurt
wondered if he could really go through with this.
'Courage.' He thought to himself.
'Carole was right, Blaine could use a friend right now. A friend.' He grimaced inwardly as he forced himself from the car, and up the steps of the porch. Knocking
sharply on the door, he wiped his sweaty palms on his tight jeans while he waited.
"Oh."
"Oh."
It was hard to tell who was more displeased, Kurt or Cynthia Anderson. However, it was Cynthia who recovered first.
"He's not here, Mr. Hummel. Now please leave. James may have departed, but that doesn't mean I am suddenly willing to have a conversation with someone
like you."
"How lovely to see you too, Mrs. Anderson," Kurt bit back, the sarcasm dripping from his all too cheery voice.
" I was going to offer my condolences on your loss, but I won't bother. You're correct in your assumption that I wish to see your son. If he's not here, could you
possibly tell me where I might find him?" Kurt finished with a sickly sweet smile.
" I don't know." She replied crisply, "And I would kindly ask you to never darken my doorstep again. Good day." The door was slammed shut before Kurt could
respond.
"Was someone at the door?" Blaine asked his mom as he came down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen. Still standing in the hallway, trying to calm
the anger that had risen inside her, Cynthia put on her usual mask of a bright, cheery smile.
"No dear, whatever gave you that impression?" She trailed after her son and watched as he started rummaging around in the refrigerator.
"I thought I heard you talking to someone as I came out of the bathroom. And you were standing in the hallway." Blaine eyed her curiously.
"Oh, that. It was just the gardener to tell me he was leaving." Cynthia lied smoothly. "Now let me make you some eggs."
"I'm 26 mom, I can make my own breakfast."
"It's noon, Blaine, I think it can be classified as brunch now. And why are you so late up anyway? It's most unlike you. I thought you were going into the office
today before you go back to New York."
" I went last night. Couldn't sleep," Blaine offered by way of explanation as he sat down with a bowl of cereal.
His mom frowned at his choice of food, and watched her youngest as he gazed out at the garden. Cynthia could still remember when Blaine had been born. The
doctor had handed him to her, a writhing, angry little thing with a mass of dark curls. As he had calmed in her embrace she had looked down at him and
marveled at his beauty. That beauty had grown as Blaine himself had grown. Everyone always commented on what a lovely little boy he was. Such a kind,
sweet nature, while Cooper was boisterous. "You must be so proud," people would say.
And they were. Always a straight A student, Blaine was never in trouble, never talked back. He was always popular with friends and teachers. 'Such a shame he
went through all that nonsense about being gay,' his mom thought to herself. 'Kurt Hummel has a lot to answer for.'
When he came out to his parents, Blaine's Dad had reacted just the way Cynthia had known he would. She herself had stayed quiet, choosing to turn a blind
eye to the marks that appeared around Blaine's wrists after James had been to 'talk' to him. She also chose to ignore Blaine's pleas for her to intervene, she
had no wish to make her husband angry at her, too. She had begged Blaine to change his mind, to reconsider, but according to him, he couldn't choose to be
straight anymore than he had chosen to be gay. After the Sadie Hawkins dance, when Blaine and his friend had been beaten so badly they'd ended up in
hospital, things had quietened down a bit. Dalton had been a good influence on Blaine, he seemed happy there and although his mom missed having him at
home so much, she was relieved that the shouting and screaming had stopped.
Until Kurt had arrived. Cynthia had never met a 'real gay' before. Of course, there were rumours about Will and Frank down at the pet store, but she had tried
not to listen to that particular piece of gossip, both their wives were key players in Cynthia's bridge circle.
But Kurt was different. Just 16 years old, standing in the Anderson's living room dressed in the tightest pair of jeans that Cynthia could ever remember seeing-
paired with knee high boots no less- he had flaunted his gay-ness like a proud peacock as Blaine held hands- actually held hands- with Kurt and introduced him
as his boyfriend. She had known, of course, that this was just a phase. It didn't seem that Blaine had known though. To both her and James' surprise, the boys
had stayed together through high school, and college as well. They had kept their distance, allowed Blaine his years as a rebellious teenager. When their
friends had asked, the Andersons had proudly told them that Blaine was acing Harvard, but not elaborated any further. When business associates tried to
press for their daughters to have a date with Blaine, they had coolly replied that he was too busy studying. As he had neared the end of college they knew it
was time to intervene. They needed to hurt him to save him.
And things were so much better now, Cynthia thought to herself. Blaine was back to himself again. Hardworking, polite and courteous to all he met. Yes, now
he was a son to be proud of.
"So," Cynthia said brightly, "What are your plans for today?"
"Dunno," Blaine said with a mouthful of cereal "Goin' bac la'er."
"Blaine, do not speak with your mouth full." His mom reprimanded. "Must you go back today?"
"Sorry," Blaine deadpanned. "And yes. I've been here three days now, I'm needed in New York for a breakfast meeting tomorrow at 7. This business can't run
itself."
"I know darling, I just miss you is all." His mom reached over to ruffle his hair, but Blaine ducked out of her grasp. "And Daphne Jones was saying Misty is back
for a visit. She lives in New York too you know, maybe you could take her out to dinner sometime."
"No mom. Don't start this again."
"But Blaine..." His mother whined "You're 26 now. It's time to start thinking about settling down. And you're so handsome. It would be such a shame to let
those genes go to waste."
"Mom!" Blaine shouted, unable to control his anger at her continual denial. "Unless Misty Jones has lost those giant breasts, and magically grown a cock
instead it is not going to happen. I am gay, mom. Gay. And that is not going to change. Ever. Now, at Dad's request I have kept my 'disgusting activities' as he
so eloquently put it, quiet for the last four years. But I'm sick of it. I won't bring shame on you, or drag this family's name through the mud, but I won't hide who
I am anymore. I am tired of living in fear of the consequences. I lost the love of my life because I wasn't brave enough to stand up to Dad anymore. I'll never
get Kurt back, I realize that, but I can get my life back mom, and that's what I'm going to do. With or without your support." Blaine finished, as he started to
back out of the room.
"Oh, and mom..."Blaine continued, as Cynthia stared in shocked silence at her son, "The gardener is still in the yard. He never left." Blaine spun on his heel and
exited swiftly.
The door to the Lima Bean was pulled open sharply and Blaine, about to push from the other side, stumbled and almost fell into a small, dark woman carrying a
coffee and a stack of books.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"
"Yes I'm fine, no thanks to...Oh! Blaine!" The young woman screeched, dark eyes lighting up as she reached up to kiss his cheek.
"How are you? I haven't seen you in forever. Hey, did you know Finn and I are married now? Oh, and I teach at McKinley! Isn't that great! I mean, it's not
Broadway I know, but I did my bit there and my heart belongs here, with Finn. So..." She finally paused for breath.
"Hey Rachel." Blaine smiled at her with genuine fondness, it was so good to see her again.
Briefly.
"Um...so, yeah, I'm ok I guess. Busy, you know, with work and everything. I heard about the wedding and the job from Burt, just yesterday in fact. He came to
my Dad's...erm..." Blaine finished lamely. He suddenly found himself with a lump in his throat.
"I know, Blaine, and I'm sorry. I know you had a difficult relationship with him, I hope you can both find peace now."
"Thanks Rach. So, what are you doing here anyway?"
"Oh, I was just leaving actually, I had coffee with Ku...oh!" Rachel clamped a hand over her mouth.
"It's ok Rachel. You can say his name."
"I'm sorry Blaine. You're right. We're adults. We can be adult about this."
"Thank you. So, how is he?" Blaine asked politely, trying not to let his emotions show.
"Oh, he's great," Rachel enthused. "Really great. He had to leave though, to catch his flight. Oh, you probably don't know! He's a fashion designer. Lives in
London, works incredibly hard and always forgets to call his Dad." Rachel laughed.
"Wow. No, I didn't know. So he did it then. He really made it." Blaine stared into the distance and desperately tried to keep the tears from his eyes.
"He sure did. Well, it was great seeing you again Blaine, take care of yourself." Rachel said as she rummaged in her purse for her keys.
"You too Rach. Oh, and say hi to Finn for me." Blaine called after her.
Suddenly not in the mood for coffee, Blaine headed to his car to begin the long drive back to New York.
A/N- Just wanted to thank you all for reading, I hope you're enjoying it. This is my 1st fanfic and I'm overwhelmed by the response so far :)
The first 5 chapters are already written so I'll update regularly, but after that things may slow up a bit. I'll do my best to update at least weekly though.