Hello again! Ah... only a few more chapters to go... God whatever will I do with my life?!
This chapter will be in Gary's POV to add some spice to things, and also to show how the death is affecting him as well. I'm sure you guys won't mind that :)
I want to thank everyone of you who has reviewed, favourite or follows this story! I means so much! You have no idea.
Oh well, I'll leave you guys to the next instalment of Fire and Ice :) enjoy!
Chapter Eighteen: Not alone
Gary's POV
I was eight years old when my Mom decided to just up and leave to continue her career as a field researcher.
As you could imagine I was very dependant on having her in my life, so hearing the news wasn't the best thing that could have happened. Gramp's assured me that she was doing this for my benefit and when I was old enough I would understand the reasons why. In my head though nothing would ever justify her reasons for leaving me.
I mean what sort of Mother leaves her son?
When she actually left it was on Christmas Eve. All that she left was a letter on the table, saying how she was sorry she couldn't of been a better Mom and that she needed to do this for herself and for me.
That was the worst Christmas ever.
I was a nightmare to live with after that, Gramp's had a hard time keeping me nailed to the ground and controlling my mood swings. Well, as far as I was concerned she didn't care enough about me to stay, I wasn't bothered if she gave up her career, I just wanted her to be a good Mom to me and watch me grow up.
Obviously that was just too much to ask for.
I even took my anger out on Ash, who had always been there for me as we grew up. I made it my purpose to push everyone who was close to me away so then I would not have to go through the pain and torment of having them up and leave me suddenly.
He was so lucky, him and his Mom got on like a house on fire and they were so close.
I envied him.
I envied him so fucking much it got to the point that I swore I would be better than him, I would always make sure he was one step behind me. I didn't need a Mom to be successful, I didn't need a Mom to be happy and I would prove this to everyone, even Ash.
Although I was a complete bastard to him 99.9% of the time a part of me felt terrible for hurting him just because of my own self inflicted misery.
Mom hardly called or sent letters, the only time I ever received anything was on my birthday and at Christmas, but even so it was only a card with a huge cheque inside.
Guilt money, money that she obviously hoped would fix the shattered relationship we had.
No chance.
Obviously I would accept the money, but nothing she did would ever piece back together what we had.
She had left me, nothing would change that.
But that was so many years ago, and to this day I still think about it. I think about what if things were different? Would I have been nicer to Ash? Would I still have become a researcher?
But there are some things we can't change, and now this had said it all to me.
Ash is now like me, he has just lost the one person who mattered more than life itself to him. Ash is now feeling worse than I did back then, and now all that jealously seems pointless.
I never imagined that Delia would die, it just didn't seem possible to me. Everyone just assumes they will live forever, but life has a weird way of kicking you in the head repeatedly.
I just don't want Ash to end up like me, I don't want Ash to resent everyone like I did.
"Veeeee~"
I snapped out of my thoughts to Eevee's soft cooing as she snuggled in my arms.
Looking down at her I tried to smile, maybe she knew what had been racing through my head just a few moments ago?
Well, at least she still had her parents.
I had taken Ash outside so he could get some fresh air, being stuck in this God forsaken place was not the best course of action right now I figured. I also decided to get us something warm to drink, coffee usually helps a situation no matter how bad it is.
As the machine whirred in front of me I casually stroked one of Eevee's ears, still thinking about my past.
Even though I went through all of that at such a young age I have still turned out alright, maybe not the nicest person in the world but, I'm getting there. As long as I have Ash though I know I will be okay.
As the coffee poured into the polystyrene cups I hoped Ash was okay outside by himself.
He wouldn't do anything stupid would he? Well, he had Pikachu with him so at least he wasn't totally isolated.
The weather didn't look too great either when I took Ash outside.
I swear it was going to rain or even thunder and lightning. Then again it wouldn't be that surprising, if I was Mother nature I would probably be upset.
I sighed as the coffee machine stopped whirring and two cups of steaming hot liquid stood before me.
Eevee instinctively leapt out of my arms so I could carry both of the cups. She probably hated this place as much as I did, and after everything I had said too.
I had tried to convince Ash that she would be okay, that his Mom would get better.
How was I to know that she wouldn't?
Biting my lip Eevee and I walked back outside, towards a broken Ash who was probably too shattered to be put back together.
Walking outside I was greeted with a large clap of lightning and the horrific sound of thunder booming overhead. Rain was hammering down and the only thing I could think about was Ash.
He was out here with no coat on or anything, he could catch his death of cold if he stayed out in this!
As quickly as I could, not giving a shit if my hair got soaked, Eevee and I ran towards where I had last left the boy. On a bench, situated just outside the hospital.
As the rain started to soak me to the skin my eyes darted across that crumpled figure of Ash.
His head was drooped downwards, hands clasped together and Pikachu sat beside him, looking concerned. Obviously he was not taking this well, it was to be expected.
Eevee was the first to leap onto the bench, shaking her fur from the rain.
As I settled beside the raven haired boy I handed out a cup to him. His eyes flickered across to me for a second before slowly taking the cup out of my hands.
Those eyes were just emotionless, glassed over, as if someone had taken out his soul...
"God... why is the coffee so expensive,"
I tried making small talk, trying to be my usual obnoxious self to gain some sort of expression from him.
It was useless, he was still as vacant as before.
Eevee nuzzled his arm affectionately, also showing that she was here for him, but nothing seemed to work.
Of course it wouldn't. The one person he wanted and needed in his life was now gone forever.
Pikachu frowned in sadness as small electric jolts sizzled in his cheeks.
He didn't like the rain much.
My eyes diverted away from the broken boy, enough to begin thinking again.
If anyone deserved this shit in their lives it was me, not him. Ash had never put a foot wrong in life, always steadily moving forward towards his goal, but now it just seemed to be a fading memory.
"Why...?"I heard his voice, so small and fragile enter my ears.
I turned to face him, watching as the coffee cup trembled in his hands, at how his whole body convulsed in the pouring rain. I took a sip from my cup before placing a hand on his shoulder.
I needed him to know I was here for him.
"Why... Gary?" He asked, looking to me with pleading eyes, eyes that were stained with tears. Tears that trickled down his face like a weak waterfall, a waterfall too tired to continue.
A lump congealed in my throat as I saw just how broken he was, his eyes had lost that sparkle that I adored.
As the rain poured down onto us and the sky was grey I just hoped that perhaps the rain would wash away all the tears from his eyes.
I squeezed his shoulder gently, hoping that he wouldn't break because heaven forbid I would too. My hair started to cling to my face from the rain as it did to Ash. It was obvious he didn't care about it, he probably wouldn't care if he got sick from being out in this, but I did.
"Ash..." I muttered weakly, rubbing his shoulder affectionately, feeling every tremor that erupted through his body.
"Why... did she... have to... die...?" Ash whined, bowing his head lower into his arms as the tremors increased in volume.
I just wanted to hold him in my arms and never let go, I wanted to kiss away all those tears and I wanted to piece him back together.
I watched as the coffee cup fell out of his hands and splashed all over the ground. They trembled as sadness consumed him.
That was it, I needed to help somehow.
Placing the cup beside me on the bench I did exactly what I wanted to.
I pulled the boy into an embrace, resting his head against my chest as the rain continued to soak our forms.
"I know... what you are going through," I murmured quietly, gentling combing my fingers through his mattered raven hair, feeling every shiver of his body.
Small muffled sniffles echoed in the air and I just knew that he was crying again. A part of me prayed that my arms were offering some kind of relief from this ongoing torment.
"That's it now... it's all... over... I have no-one..." He weakly murmured in between sobs, making my arms tighten around him.
Of course he wasn't alone, he had me and I would always be there for him. I would always be there to catch him if he ever felt like letting go of it all, and I would never leave him, not now not ever.
"You will always have me," I soothed, taking a quick glance across at Eevee, who had now snuggled up beside Pikachu.
His hands gripped my shirt tighter as the convulsions got fiercer.
Maybe it was all just sinking in, the fact that his Mom would never come home, that she was gone forever.
He sniffled and raised his head, dark clouded eyes gazing into my own.
I felt my heart pain slightly as shattered dreams and neglect poured out from his own melting eyes into mine. His nose was red and stuffy from the tears he had shed and his cheeks had a slight red hue glazing them.
Deep within I just wanted all this pain to melt away, I just wanted Ash to be happy again.
"What if... you go... too?" He whined, hiccuping slightly before using one hand to wipe his face.
I frowned.
I wasn't planning on leaving him any time soon.
Scratching the top of his messed up hair playfully I returned;
"Don't be silly, I don't plan on going anywhere,"
"I... don't mean... like that,"
My eyes widened as his head bowed, hands still clutching me like I was his only lifeline.
"What if... you die too?"
Without thinking I pulled the raven haired boy close to me once again, gently kissing his forehead.
That was absurd to even think of! I was a perfectly healthy teenager so the idea of dying at this precise moment in time wasn't on the agenda.
"You won't get rid of me that easily you know," I teased, loving how I could just hold him in my arms and not be judged by anyone.
I hoped that he would know I was just joking and not get even more upset. That would definitely put the tin lid on things.
He sniffled into my shirt.
"Yeah... I suppose you're right,"
As the rain seemed to show signs of finally stopping I could hardly feel my body.
God, I was soaked to the bone and freezing cold, I could only imagine Ash felt the same as I did. I needed to get him home in the warm, that was probably a good idea.
"I think we should head back home and rest up, if you don't want to collect your Mom's things tomorrow then I'll do it,"
"No..." He said defiantly, pulling away slightly to wipe his face. "...I need to go...I need to... say goodbye,"
I gave a weak nod.
If that was what he wanted then I would be an idiot to get in the way.
Ruffling his hair one final time I watched as he shakily rose to his feet.
A part of me wondered if his legs would just collapse underneath him like a card tower, but the longer he remained steady the more I assumed he would be okay.
Eevee and Pikachu leapt off the bench and stayed together, offering each other company and whatever comfort they needed through this tough time, after all, they had been with Ash's Mom from the start. They witnessed her good days and bad days, and now her death.
It must have been excruciating for the little guys.
"You alright?" I asked the raven haired boy, completely ignoring the fact I still had a full cup of coffee on the bench.
Oh well, I don't mind wasting money.
He nodded.
"Yeah..."
Instinctively I placed my arm around his waist, steadying his balance so he could walk easier.
We were both completely soaked, every inch of clothing clung to us like cling film and our hair was matted and stuck to random sides of our faces.
God, we looked a mess, but I didn't care right now.
"You want to walk home or...?"
"Walk..." Ash interrupted me before I gave him the other option.
I nodded, giving Pikachu and Eevee a nod to follow our lead.
As we finally started our low and tedious walk away from that God forsaken building I wondered how all these emotions and feelings were keeping so composed.
I had sort of expected a breakdown, or some anger at least. Ash just seemed broken, defeated, like he had given up on life itself. Wait... that isn't good!
Going into his house and to be reminded of his Mom would probably test his sanity, and if he could manage that then he could get through anything.
He was so much stronger than I ever thought, when my Mom left me I was a wreck. I blamed everyone, had serious anger problems and always tried to be better than others just to inflate my own stupid ego.
Ash, no he was some kind of special.
He was dealing with this in a way that was foreign to myself.
He was being so strong, so brave and I was proud. I was so proud that he was not acting like how I did, he was not pushing people away.
Luckily for him he is completely opposite to me.
It took an hour or so before we reached the gate of his house.
Thankfully the rain had stopped and all that remained were dark ominous clouds. It was now late afternoon.
Parts of my clothing had dried but my hair was still soaked, oh well, I would just have a shower when I got inside.
My arm never left Ash's waist the entire time we walked, even if it was mostly in silence. I figured that he still had a lot to deal with in his own mind and so gave him that opportunity.
Now we were finally back at his home and we were both frozen to the spot.
Eevee and Pikachu bought up the rear and eventually caught up to us.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, watching the change of expression on his face. It had morphed from slightly emotionless to utter fear and horror.
He shook his head wildly, backing away from me.
"No... No... I don't... I can't!"
Grabbing him tightly with my hands I asked;
"Whoa! You can't what?"
Wide dark eyes darted about like a scared rabbit in the headlights, his body trembled slightly in my hands as his voice pleaded;
"I can't go in there! I... can't..."
My eyes diverted to the house which was covered in a blanket of darkness.
Every inch of it was smothered in memories, memories him and his Mom shared, memories that would never be forgotten. It was too soon to bring them up.
"Okay... it's okay..." I soothed, pulling him into another comforting hug as I stood there contemplating the next course of action.
We couldn't stand outside all night, that would do us no favours what so ever.
As I combed my fingers through his hair to calm him down it clicked suddenly.
There was one place we could go to and it wasn't that far away either. Even if the thought of going there with Ash in tow was a little daunting I wasn't going to suddenly become some sort of wet lettuce and let Ash down. Not on my watch.
"Do you want to stay at Gramp's for a while? Just until everything gets sorted at your place?" I asked, tilting his head up so I could see his face.
He gave a weak nod, a defeatist nod which didn't fill me with much confidence.
"Will... you be there?" He enquired in a small voice.
I nodded and gave him a small smile, just wishing and hoping he would smile too.
"Course I am! You really think I am going to stay out on the streets?"
And then the greatest thing happened, he smiled! He actually smiled! Well, at least that was some progress.
Giving him a small kiss on the forehead I lead the smaller boy towards Gramp's lab.
I knew that he would be totally okay with Ash staying for a while, especially given the circumstances.
The only thing I was unsure of was would he still be okay if he knew I loved Ash and that he was my boyfriend? Oh well, right now what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
So that was settled, Ash could move in with me for a while until everything was sorted out. The idea of it was a little comforting and exciting. It had been years since Ash had last slept over at mine, when we were kids were used to have sleepovers quite often but as we grew up simple pleasures like that were just avoided for some reason.
I was so glad I got that opportunity again.
Slowly Ash and I, closely followed by Eevee and Pikachu, trundled towards Gramp's lab.
I sure as hell hoped he had some food laying around somewhere, I was freakin' starving!
Standing outside the door of the lab was actually slightly frightening to say the least.
Last time I was here was when I confessed about my sexual orientation to Gramp's and expected the book to be thrown at me.
Instead I just got a guilt trip about lying to him.
Yeah, yeah, like I didn't know about that. Anyway, I still felt rotten about it, but this time I was here for a different reason.
I was here because of Ash, he needed me and he needed somewhere to cool off and relax.
Knocking the door cautiously I waited with bated breath.
It was getting late, knowing Gramp's he would be giving the Pokemon their last feeds for the night before heading off to his bedroom. I hoped that was the case.
I felt Ash clinging to my arm desperately, it was almost like he was frightened to let go in case something would happen to me.
"Don't worry, Gramp's will be totally cool about you staying here," I assured him, watching as large clouded brown eyes stared up at me.
"I'm sorry..." He mumbled, those eyes now darting away to the floor once again.
I sighed.
"You don't have to apologise, you haven't done anything wrong,"
The raven haired boy leaned against me for support as he responded;
"I put you through so much trouble..."
"You haven't, if I didn't want to help you then I wouldn't," I said slightly colder than I wanted to.
Biting my lip I cursed at my own stupid nature and arrogant attitude.
Luckily for me he didn't take it all too literally, he just nodded weakly.
Great going there Gary, you are meant to make him feel better not flaming worse!
As a sigh escaped my lips I hardly noticed when the large door opened and Gramp's was stood there, looking shocked.
Well, it's not like he expected visitors or anything.
"Gary! Ash! What a pleasant surprise!" He beamed, smiling that same smile we all loved.
Seemed like no matter what time I called round he was still up for visitors.
"Yeah... Gramp's, I have a favour to ask you," I mumbled, knowing that he would probably assume I wanted to borrow money or something.
Well isn't that usually what us teenagers are renowned for?
He folded his arms;
"What is it?"
I looked across to Ash, who had not said a word the entire time.
"Can Ash stay here for a few nights?"
Gramp's glanced from my expression to Ash's, watching at how feeble and meek he had become, he had just lost everything about him.
"Well, yes of course he can. May I ask why?"
I knew this question was coming, and I didn't really want to bring it up again around Ash. He had heard it all too many times today.
"Can you at least invite us in first? I'll tell you the whole story then,"
Gramp's nodded and allowed all of us entry into the lab.
Ash continued clinging to my arm, frightened to let go.
I wondered if Gramp's had noticed?
When we got inside I told Ash to make use of our shower and to get freshened up while I spoke to Gramp's about the whole ordeal.
Of course he didn't object, hell I could of told him to jump off a cliff and he would've probably done it. At least then he wouldn't have to hear me retell the agonising tale of events.
Eevee and Pikachu were allowed to mingle with the Pokemon that were staying here. Eevee went to spend time with her parents while Pikachu played with his old friends, Squirtle and Bulbasaur.
This left only Gramp's and I in the living room.
"So... what has happened? Ash looks like the whole world has just fallen on top of him," Gramp's remarked, sitting comfortably in his armchair.
I nodded, sitting opposite, feeling the warmth from the fire start to dry the remainder of my clothes.
"You could say that, you see the thing is... today Delia was meant to have an operation to make her better,"
Gramp's eyes widened at my words, and bent slightly forward in his seat.
I swallowed hard.
"They were going to make a small cut in her throat so they could get a tube into her lungs and vacuum up the fluid that was causing her breathing problems..."
"I see, well did it work?" Gramp's asked, fidgeting slightly at the news I was telling.
I slowly shook my head, trying not to get upset about it all over again.
"No Gramp's... she died before the operation..."
A thick awkward silence smothered the room and Gramp's eyes sparkled in sadness.
God, I hated that look in his eyes. It was making me begin to well up too, and hell I don't cry!
He bowed his head, clasping his hands together as it was all starting to sink in.
"And that is... why you want Ash to stay?"
I nodded, knowing that this news would hurt Gramp's indefinitely.
He had always been close to Ash's Mom, when Ash and I left on our Pokemon journeys at ten they became really close friends.
It was only natural Gramp's would be upset by it.
"No wonder Ash looked so broken..." He mused quietly.
"I hate it, I hate seeing him like this," I commented, frowning slightly.
"It's only natural Gary, I remember how you were when your Mother left,"
I shot him a cursed glance.
I didn't want him to bring that up ever again! This was not the time or the place!
I huffed, refusing to speak about it.
"I can't actually believe it... that she is dead. From what I was told she was making progress and getting better, what happened to change that?"
I shrugged, not actually knowing the full story.
All I knew was her heart gave up before the operation.
"Her heart was too weak to continue, that's what the Doctor's told me,"
Gramp's shook his head, finding it all a little hard to believe.
"This is a sadness..."
"Yeah, and Ash cannot bear going home yet, that's why I asked if he could stay here for a while,"
Gramp's raised his head and leaned back in his chair. He nodded, like I knew he would.
There would never be an issue with Ash staying here, after all, he treated Ash like another Grandson.
"Of course, I understand. He can stay as long as he needs, but... what is he going to do about the funeral?"
I bit the inside of my lip.
It was too soon for Ash to start considering details like that, and if he wasn't up to it then I would help. He had been through enough already.
"I don't know about that, but I think it's too soon to even begin thinking about that,"
Gramp's nodded, sighing under his breath.
Resting back in the armchair my thoughts lingered on the raven haired boy.
I hoped he was okay up there on his own, I hoped he wasn't beating himself up too much about this.
I placed a hand to my forehead, feeling the first signs of a headache approaching.
"Yes, you may be right there. The one thing Ash's needs right now is some form of comfort, and I believe you are the best person for that job,"
My eyes shot a glance to Gramp's.
His face was solemn and I knew he was being deadly serious.
Did he even know about our relationship?
"Why do you say that?" I asked, a little defensively.
"Well you have known Ash for the longest time. You boys have been friends now for years and I know you are the closest person he has in his life. You would probably be surprised how much he depends on you,"
Deep within I would be lying if those words weren't inflating my ego. Well, come on it did feel good to be depended on.
I smiled weakly, relaxing a little in my armchair.
"You really think so?"
Gramp's nodded.
"Definitely. Right now you are probably the only person who can make Ash smile again"
Those words reached somewhere deep inside me that I never knew existed.
My heart fluttered like a Butterfree and that was slightly odd to say the least.
Was I really that important to him? Would I be able to make him smile after all this?
"Anyway, I think you better go and check on him. Dinner will be done in about fifteen minutes, it should give you boys time to talk things through,"
I nodded, very pleased at the fact food would soon be arriving. It had felt like years since I had eaten anything, and I had sort of missed home cooking.
Standing up from my seat I smiled at Gramp's.
He seemed so at ease, even with this terrible news.
Maybe it was because he knew that Ash would be okay.
"Alright then,"
I took my leave and started to head towards the stairs.
Deep inside I wondered if Ash had finished in the bathroom or if he was just wallowing in more self pity. My first point of call would definitely be the bathroom.
As I walked up the stairs and headed towards the bathroom I listened intently for any signs that he was still in there.
I couldn't hear any water running, it was so silent you could seriously hear a pin hit the floor. This wasn't very comforting.
Sighing a little I pushed the bathroom door open.
It was vacant, seems like Ash was not here after all.
So he was in my own bedroom then.
Turning I headed for my own room, feeling a rush of nostalgia hit me in the face like a rock.
It had been such a long time since Ash and I were in my bedroom. Years in fact since we had a sleepover and used to stay up all night watching Pokemon battles, wondering what it would be like when we finally got to do that.
Man... that was years ago.
I smiled at the thoughts of our past as I opened the door.
My eyes immediately diverted to the curled up figure on my bed, faced away from my presence.
Ash was in the foetal position, wearing my blue dressing gown.
"Ash?" I asked, slightly concerned at how still he was.
After a moment of silence he turned his head to face me, his eyes still clouded over with shattered dreams and heartache.
"Gary..." He said quietly, before turning back around to face the wall.
I frowned, now knowing that it was probably harder for him to deal with than I ever thought.
When my Mom left I had Gramp's to pick up the pieces, Ash only had me and right now I wasn't doing a great job.
I walked towards him and sat on the edge of the bed.
His body remained curled up in a defensive position.
God, I hated seeing him like this. This was not the Ash I knew.
"Is everything okay?" I enquired, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.
He tensed suddenly but soon relaxed.
"No..." Was the response.
Well I should of expected that answer really, I mean who is going to be okay when their Mom has just died?
"Ash... you know I'll always be here for you, right?"
Again there was silence for a while until his body twisted and turned so he was sitting upright.
Those dark eyes melted into my own as his expression screamed out uncertainty. He was just so broken right now, and I wasn't even sure if I would be able to fix him.
"No you won't..." He returned coldly, pulling his knees up to his chin and wrapping his arms around them.
My eyes widened at his words.
"What? What the hell is that meant to mean?"
"It means you won't always be here for me..." Ash answered, his voice lacking that usual bubbly undertone to it.
He even refused to look at me while saying these vulgar words.
He didn't know any of it, and I was positive I would never abandon him or ever leave him. He was too precious to lose.
"How can you say that?"
Ash rocked slightly, holding his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of them.
"You will just up and leave when all this has blown over... I know it,"
At that precise moment it actually felt like I was heart broken.
I would just up and leave? What the hell does that even mean?! I wasn't frickin' planning on going anywhere without him!
Trying to contain my annoyance I questioned;
"Why do you even think that I would? After everything you still think that low of me?!"
He didn't respond, he just remained silent.
Looked to me like I had given him too much time in solitude for all this to mess up his head. Maybe he should of stayed in the living room with Gramp's and I?
"You said yourself... you are going back to Sinnoh," He eventually commented.
My eyes widened.
Well, okay I did suggest that but, not now! There was no way I could ever leave him to just continue with my work. I wouldn't be able to concentrate and I would worry everyday.
No, from now on I would stay with Ash, regardless of my other commitments.
"Not any more..."
I reached out and grabbed one of his hands, holding it securely in my own.
Dark emotionless eyes gazed into mine as I refused to let go.
"I could never leave you... not now, not ever"
And as those eyes stared into mine I could feel it, the first signs of wanting to cry.
The agonising tightening feeling in my chest, the lump congealing in my throat and the way he was just looking at me.
I needed him to know I was serious, right now I was the only thing he had left and I wasn't going to take that away from him.
His eyes turned away to stare at the bed sheets before him.
"This is all my fault..." He murmured weakly.
"How is this your fault?" I asked, continuing to hold his hand for comfort.
He shrugged slightly as I watched his eyes start to well up with tears once again.
"When you said... it was my fault she got sick... you were right,"
Once again I wanted to kick myself when he said that.
I only said that when I was angry, he must have knew I never meant a word of it.
Ash would never be to blame for something like that.
"Ash... I was mad, I wasn't being serious. How was it your fault she got sick?"
A single tear dribbled down his face as his bottom lip quivered slightly in the dimming light.
"If... I wasn't so self obsessed... I would've come home... I would've spent more time with her before... before..."
His head drooped and his shoulders trembled as tears spilled out from those broken eyes.
I couldn't believe he was beating himself up about it, it was so wrong.
Ash wasn't to blame for having a goal in life, and his Mother supported him till the end.
I shuffled closer to the raven haired boy and wrapped my arms around him, trying to be the best kind of comfort he could have right now.
His body convulsed in my arms as he cried loudly.
The noises were excruciating to my ears.
"Ash, it was not your fault okay? Stop blaming yourself," I soothed, kissing the top of his head lightly.
He sniffled into my shirt, gripping me tightly as a whirlpool of emotions washed over him.
"But... if I... if I had come home... then..."
"Stop it! It was not your fault okay? Nothing you could've done would have prevented this," I said severely, holding him tighter.
I hated this, I hated seeing him like this.
It was breaking my heart in two and I just wanted him to stop crying. It wasn't right to see him cry, Ash was always meant to be happy, to be annoying, not upset.
"I... I... God.. I miss her Gary!" He cried out, holding onto me for dear life.
I felt my heart sink into a sea of despair as I heard his cries.
I knew it would be long time before he would ever be able to be fixed, if at all. I just wanted him to know that he wasn't alone through this, that I would always be there for him and that I would always love him.
"I know Ash... I miss her too,"
A few hours passed quite quickly which lead into a rather calm night time.
Ash and I ate at the dinner table with Gramp's while we chatted about light hearted subjects to try and brighten the mood. I had let Ash borrow some of my clothes, an old black t-shirt and some loosely fitting jeans.
Well, they were baggy on him as he was a smaller size than myself.
Throughout the night we even managed to make him smile on a few occasions.
Spaghetti Bolognese was the food for the night, and of course I was not complaining. I always had a soft spot for Gramp's cooking.
Sadly though Ash didn't eat much, he just toyed with it most of the night, taking bites every now and then. Of course neither Gramp's or I pushed the subject, we just accepted that he would eat when he was hungry and left it at that.
When all the washing up was done and it was getting late Gramp's had left to go to bed early and Ash and I stayed downstairs in the kitchen.
"Man... it has been so long since I ate home made Spaghetti Bolognese," I rambled, putting the last plate back in the cupboard.
Ash didn't respond, he just stood by one of the counters, aimlessly gazing out the window.
Surprisingly all those horrible black clouds had gone and the sky was crystal clear, sprinkled with stars.
Ash seemed to be taking interest in them, more so than my terrible attempt at small talk.
"At least it isn't raining any more," I commented, walking over to him.
He nodded weakly as he continued staring outside.
"Yeah... it completely ruined your hair,"
I frowned, knowing how rain was my number one enemy.
I swear I will create something, some kind of hairspray or gel that is water resistant, even if it is the last thing I do!
"Yes, the rain and I have unfinished business to attend to," I growled, clenching my hand into a fist and pretending to be angry at something that was non existent.
Ash's dark eyes turned to face me and he smiled, it was a small smile but a smile nonetheless.
That was some progress, at least my stupid personality was doing it's job.
"Are you tired at all?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"No... there is too much going on in my head to sleep right now,"
Yeah, I understood that completely. When my Mom left I couldn't sleep properly for weeks, maybe that would be the same for him.
"Well... it is getting late, maybe we should just go upstairs and chill or something?" I proposed, trying to get some kind of reaction out of him.
Today he had just been vacant, emotionless and a little distant. It had also seemed like years since I had kissed him.
"No..." He murmured.
"Why?"
"I want to stay here..."
I frowned.
Why would he want to stay in the kitchen? There wasn't any entertainment in here, and there certainly wasn't anywhere he could relax and unwind on in here.
"Why? It's boring in here," I commented, sighing as I relaxed on the counter beside him.
He nodded;
"Boring is good right now,"
I combed my fingers through my now fluffy hair, God damn that rain!
What did that mean? Did he want to be left on his own? Was that it?
I got up from the counter and turned to face him once more;
"Okay then... I'll be in my room if you need me,"
As I was about to walk off I felt small hands latch onto my arm.
"No! Please... don't... don't leave,"
I paused, feeling the desperation from his touch, hearing the pleading of his voice, I could not resist.
I bowed my head a little, tired of this, tired of today. I just wanted to sleep and forget today ever even happened.
"Then stop pushing me away..." I remarked, not thinking before I said those words.
Of course he wasn't meaning to be so cold towards me, after today it was only natural to be a little out of character. But still, I was beginning to feel like I wasn't doing a good enough job of trying to make him happy.
He was still miserable even when he was with me.
His hands pulled me closer to him until I felt his head buried into my back.
"I'm sorry... Gary,"
Sighing I knew I couldn't have a go at him.
He was so vulnerable right now and I needed to be strong for him, for both of us.
"It's okay,"
Then I felt his hands slither around my waist before wrapping around me tightly.
His body was pressed flushed up against my back as his nose gently nuzzled my spine.
Was this his way of being sorry?
As he nuzzled my back I felt my heart start to somersault in my chest.
He was so very precious to me, and I just wanted the old Ash back, the Ash I knew and loved.
"Gary?" His voice entered my ears, making me swallow hard.
"Yes?"
Ash's hands then started to wonder from my waist underneath my t-shirt, gently rubbing my chest.
My eyes widened as my body tensed.
What was going on?
"Please... make me forget," He pleaded, those hands of his continuing to caress the bare skin of my chest, across my stomach muscles slowly, desperately.
I was frightened that my voice would fail on me after what he had just suggested.
Make him forget? Was that even possible?
"Forget?" I repeated.
He nodded into my back.
"Make me forget... everything,"
I could feel my hands begin to clam up with sweat as he continued to gently stroke my stomach muscles, slowly moving my t-shirt further up my body as he nuzzled my back.
I swallowed hard.
"Are... you sure?"
Again he nodded.
I squirmed out of his grasp to turn and face him.
Those brown eyes, although they had lost some of that sparkle I did see a glimmer of hope in them. They pleaded to me, wanting me to erase all the pain, all the heartache that contaminated his body.
Our eyes remained locked for what seemed like an eternity before I reached out to gently stroke his cheek.
The last thing I wanted was to take advantage, he needed to be 100% sure of this.
"I don't want to remember any more..." He murmured, leaning into my touch.
"Then I'll help you to forget," I almost whispered, moving forward towards the raven haired boy until our lips touched.
His lips were soft like velvet and trembled when they melted into mine. If this was what it took to help Ash forget then I would do it, definitely.
I wanted him to be happy, that was all.
As our lips broke apart briefly and our eyes locked together, I felt his hand slip into my own and his fingers intertwine.
He nodded weakly and then without words both Ash and I left the kitchen.
As we headed up the stairs to my room I wondered if I would be able to take his pain away, if the act we would commit would be enough to ease his pain and torment and bring back the old Ash we all knew.
The only thing I wanted him to always know was that he would never be alone, he would always have me no matter what.
Omg! :) Gary you make sure you give him the night of his life! :D Awww poor Ash... not taking this well is he?
I finished this chapter earlier than I thought :) I just got a brain wave and just continued writing for like hours on end ^^
I can't believe there is only two chapters left! D: whatever will I do with my life! I am so grateful for everyone who is sticking with this story till the end :3 Hopefully you will not be disappointed. I have two endings planned out so I'm not sure which way it will go yet, but next chapter should verify my decision.
Read and review! I love to hear your views and opinons and thanks to all of you who support this story and draw fanart! It's so freakin' amazing! Thanks guys!
See you in the next chapter! Bye bye~