Gamy is death. Surely if she could've spoken, she would've slandered me, hated me, or wanted to curse me for all the injustice I had done to her. Maybe if she was able to hear and talk, she would've never met me in this village, out in the middle of nowhere.
Most of my life I hadn't lived arrogantly, maybe I did take people for granted sometimes, but people can change when they meet the right person. For me I had met Gamy.
Before meeting Gamy, my life was practically normal. Most of my life revolved around this small village, and I would never have traded to live in any other. This quiet, humble village was full of people I could trust and love. Despite having it's little consequences.
The poverty ate away at the people here during the winter. Maybe that's why I think of Gamy when I see people struggle during the season. How she never seems to die down, when I throw all that snow at her.
It was cold and filled with fresh snow when I had first met Gamy. Her bare feet on the fresh snow, her short, brown, greasy hair flowing in the wicked wind, her glass cased brown eyes sparkling with excitement, and her poorly clothed body all caught my eyes.
I wonder what made me hate and love her at the same time in that one moment. Was it her beautiful smile that radiantly covered all the pain and gloominess in this village, or was it that I would never be able to let her know how much she made me feel.
At first, I hated her.
She didn't really insult me in any way, or really hurt me. I can't really reason as to why I did the things that I did to her.
"Who are you?" I asked.
She looked curiously for a moment, surveying me, then smiled.
I should remind you that I'm no older than ten, and thought that she was not talking because she was ignoring me.
"You got a problem or something?" I asked obviously obnoxiously, frowning.
She notices the change in expression, but shakes her head as if pleading.
I didn't really catch the signs, and kicked snow on her. She fell onto the freezing ground, snow falling atop her attire. For a moment she was silent, and I was standing over her like a hound. That was when I heard her bubbly laughter that came from her inner self.
I was confused. Extremely confused. It made no sense to me as to why she became amused over the fact that I had pushed her over because she smiled at me. I stared blankly at her as she continued her over joyful laughter.
"Suo!" I heard a call over the hills.
"I'm over here!" I called back, and turn around to see that the mysterious girl had disappeared.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the boy who called himself Suo. I had lived death since I was seven, which was only two years before I met Suo.
I might've seem like a quiet little child, but I was a born explorer. I loved feeling the snow underneath my bare feet, the wind whipping against my hair, and I loved being able to laugh freely.
I didn't know at the time of the incident, that I would lose the chance to hear my laughter forever. It was a regular cloudy day in that valley I had lived in, with my also regularly drunken father. I was running through the damp fields after a little rain shower, and I felt the coolness of the tall grass calm my inner self. The air smelled so fresh and clean compared to my father's beer-breath that was indented into the house.
Then came a loud thundering that was from the dark distant clouds. I then observed that there were signs of a horrendous storm coming. My heart was thumping as I realized it was no mere storm brewing into the little meadow.
I began screaming warnings in Japanese, people shuffled around quickly then as they peered into the distance dark clouds.
I grabbed Misako, an orphan, just in time to save her from being trampled by a rushing cart. The poor thing cried in terror, while I quickly dashed to a nearby basement and left her there protected by an old widow who had lost her husband in a mining accident.
I called for anyone else who was still outside before the storm came. There was only the terrifying scream of the winds that answered my call, followed by a distant call for help. I rushed to the call for help, which had led me to a steep cliff-side that hang between the valley and the mountains.
It was Kiriko, my best friend, dangling off the edge of the steep cliff.
"Kiriko-chan!" I jumped into action and reached for her hand. Her hands were rough and hot as if she had held onto the cliff for her dear life. I slowly tried to pull her up, but was unsuccessful. Fatigue finally got into my arm, and it began shaking. Kiriko must have noticed it, and told me the forbidden words ,"Let go of me."
I shuddered under the pressure that grew everywhere in my body. "No!"
The wind began to pick up, and rocks started to fly and flick against my body. It started to feel as if large specks of hail was pinching into my skin. Excruciating pain came from every part of my body.
That's when I felt her hand slip slowly, and my face twisted in many thoughts. That's when she had pushed my hand away to save me, but I jumped after her. We both fell with fast winds whipping painfully on our muscles, and the feeling of our stomachs close to our lungs.
The rest of it I barely remember. Did I fall directly onto the ground? It only came back as bits and pieces to me. I had awakened to hear absolutely nothing. There, I also saw Kiriko's limp body beside me. I had no idea if I was screaming, but it all felt like a dream. The men taking Kiriko away after the storm, the faces that tried to communicate with me but were unsuccessful, or the fact that for once in my life that my father actually cared enough for me to cry.
I lived solitarily with my father after that for two years. My father had been silenced those past years, but after, he had decided we both needed to move on with our lives, which was when he took me further into a faraway forest where I'd meet Suo.
Our first encounter was by the edge of the Suo's village, my new home. Our eyes had met in a spiral of tension, we both observed each other like hungry wolves, wanting interaction with a new creature.
That was when I saw his mouth move. I wonder what he was saying, and my lips curled into a smile at my many thoughts. I watched as he spoke again, but with strange malice. I became confused and shook my head to indicate I had no idea what he was saying.
He all of a suddenly kicked snow at me, and I had tumbled over the frozen ground. There was a moment of nothing as I laid there fallen on the gentle snow. All of a sudden, I felt myself burst into laughter as if I had found a new discovery. Something in Suo's soft, but sharp green eyes made me feel alive as if I had lived a million years and finally found what I had been looking for all along.
What made it even more worthwhile was the humourous shocked look on Suo's face.
Then his head flicked to the side and his mouth opened wide as if shouting.
I then secretly ran off before he could see me go. For the rest of the day, as I moved into my new home, I thought about the boy who I had met that day.
The next morning, the mysterious girl I had met was called Gamy. The adults in the village had whispered about her, and they all whispered the words "death", "mute", or "special". I had absolutely no idea what any of that meant, but my relationship with her started badly.
When I began my morning crop fertilizing, I saw Gamy wave from a distance with a grin across her face. I waved her away, but she ran towards me. I try to hide from her by running into the wheat field, but somehow she found me and poked me in my side, making me squeak a bit.
"Mind your own business and get out of here!" I yelled, pushing her away from me.
She looked into my eyes like the first time, and I couldn't escape if I tried. I somehow knew that she was a relatively good hunter.
But instead of insulting her, I decided to ignore her instead, and went back to my chores. She swiftly followed me throughout the chores, and made absolutely no sound.
"You know, you're kinda creeping me out right?" I had said after a while. She tilted her head to the side and shook her head.
I eyed her, but continued my chores.
But in a rush, my hand spammed into the door frame of the shed, which made me drop the water bucket from the well and the sickle that I had used to cut the tall weeds in our crop. In that very same instant, Gamy, with quick reflects, grabbed the sickle from falling onto my feet with her bare hands.
Blood trickled slowly down her hands, twisting in red vines across her arms. I stared at the terrifying scene, and Gamy did not cry, or look in pain. She simply smiled lightly, she glowed with pure intentions that I could not even dare to compete in my dreams.
I slowly grabbed the sickle from her hands, and she winced. There was no doubt that she was in true pain.
I ran out of the shed, racing towards anywhere I knew there would be people to treat Gamy. By the time I finally got anyone to help Gamy, she was once again gone, but this time, with a bloody bucket and with blood trailing her path.
Me and my dad quickly found her at the end of the trail, but she was not alone.
I died inside, as she appeared clearer in view. It was something beautiful but ugly at the same time to behold. Her hair covered some of her face, but not enough so that it would cover the tears that burned her eyes. Her shoulders shook with her weeping, and I could hear the low cry that made my insides turn. Her body bloody, pressed against and held my dog, that too was bloody.
That morning, I had gone off to explore the village. I smelled the fresh honeydew on the grass, and the maple saps on the trees smelled as equally delightful. Further into the village was a long field, a farm, and in the distance of that field, I'd seen Suo.
I still didn't know Suo's name, but I planned on asking.
He quickly waved me away at the sight of me, which made me laugh.
Running quickly to him, I watched as he ran away into the wheat field. I had easily found him in the field, and poked him in the side to give myself a good laugh. I saw him jump as I did, and I laughed at that.
He started moving his mouth, while pushing me away. I stared at him for a moment, and he looked as if he'd given up, and he went back to his chores.
He had completely been ignoring me, but I followed intrigued but this new development.
He turned around for a moment and started speaking again to me, but I couldn't answer him, and I shook my head.
He looked as if he was squinting his eyes now, but he was still working on whatever he was doing.
That was when I noticed he'd gotten rash and he banged his hand on the door frame. I quickly reached, by instinct, for the sickle that I thought would harm Suo most.
For a moment, he just stood there looking at me. My hands were shaking from the pain, but I kept them as still as possible.
I didn't want to scare him anymore, so I broke the awkwardness of the silence by smiling at Suo genuinely. At first he hesitated, but grabbed the sickle from my hands shyly, and I winced from the horrible pain building there in my hands. Tears stung my eyes, but I didn't cry.
That was when I saw him instantly run off, dropping the sickle on the ground.
I was confused as to why he ran off. I had many thoughts as to why he ran off.
That was when I felt a strange vibration that felt like sound. I put my hands into the fallen bucket still in tacked, and I winced once again at the pain, but rushed to the vibrations.
When I finally had gotten to the poor thing, it had lost a leg, and was bruised all over it's body.
I bent down beside the dog, and it became defensive from fear. I gently stroked it's head slowly, despite the raging pain in my hand. It eased into my soft petting, and calmed itself. It's breathing slowed, and it's eyes grew weary.
I stood instantly, my eyes grew wide, I tried to scream for help, but I couldn't even hear my own cry for help. I watched as the dog grew deeper into sleep, and I felt the hot tears that trickled my face, the lump that clogged my throat, and the horribly painful thuds in my heart. I felt useless. I felt stupid. I felt like I needed to rewind time, and have died instead of Kiriko.
The dog looked at me one last time, and licked my hand. I think I could almost imagine it saying ,"Thank you."
I held it close in my grip, and my cries grew as the dog's slumber grew closer.
When I finally saw the dog's eyes were shut, I also saw an imaginary smile on the dog's face.
I didn't see Gamy for a long time after my dog's death.
We had held a funeral for Glutton, my dog, and I felt that his death was the beginning of something. Even though he was my best friend, I knew somehow, that he had brought me and Gamy together.
I could still imagine him pressed beside me on a couch, after supper. My eyes watered with tears from the loss of my best friend, and I watched as my father buried him where he had died.
I asked my dad many times ,"Why did he die?" and my father's answers were silent. But we both knew that it was a wild animal that had attacked Glutton.
I wanted to thank Gamy for being there with Glutton, so he wouldn't have been lonely. I also knew that she was going through as much pain as I was, and that's why I knew I had to go find her.
I had asked the villagers for directions to Gamy's house, and had ended up in front of a small home that looked as if a tornado had hit it.
I went up to the door and knocked. My heart was thumping rapidly. That was when I heard rustling inside.
"Go get the door Gamy." I heard a low, grown man's voice followed by steps.
I heard the door creak, and saw Gamy's head peered out. She looked at me with her weary drooping eyes. Her body looked thinner. At first sight of me, her eyes widened, then became distant.
"Gamy-san." I said. She looked at me as if she was about to break, and I took a step forward. I wrapped my arms around her body, although we're practically the same height.
For a few hours, Gamy cried silently into my shirt. My shirt was a dish rag when she finally calmed down. She took my hand and started writing letters onto it. Go-me-ne she wrote. I'm sorry. I patted her head with a smile, and she joined my smile. I grabbed her hand and pulled her from her house, and we slipped away together to the edge of the village.
Once we were free from everyones' presence, we began writing on each others' hands.
Gamy told me, techinically wrote, how she lost her hearing, the loss her her friend, and the lonely days that had followed. Her life with her father, and the way she lived seemed so sureal. Then finally, she asked What's your name? I told her Suo. She mouthed my name Suo, with a little smile.
My heart began to beat faster, and I felt weak. I put my head on her shoulder, and she leaned hers onto my head. I wrote on her hand.
Gamy?
Yes? She wrote back.
Do you... I went off. I wondered if she ever wanted to tell me what was Glutton like in his final moments. But I knew too well how cruel that would've been so I decided not to say anything.
She noticed my hesitation, and took the liberty to pat my head. I looked up at her and laughed. "Don't copy me." I joked, and she laughed as if she understood.
That made me think for a moment, how could she laugh but not talk? I wrote on her hand again Gamy, I hear your laugh. How can you not talk?
Gamy looked surprised, she wrote on my hand I can't hear my own laughter, I thought I had lost it. I look at her and thought of this as a new discovery. I told her to try to say something. She was really bad at first, but she started to say full words.
It turned out that Gamy only lost her hearing, not her voice.
For the next few weeks, Suo had begun training me. He taught me three things, to read lips, to speak words, and to feel cared for. Most of his lessons were full of bickering, but there was something about Suo's strong personality that had given me hope to live my life normally.
No no no! Suo wrote in frustration on my hand. I'm saying "cabbage", not carrots! It had been weeks for me to finally get the hang of reading his lips. When I was finally able to read what he was saying, he taught me how to talk again.
He told me that how I was speaking sounded like a toddlers form of speech, and I had to teach myself the correct tongue again. I hated the idea of being treated like a toddler, and surely enough, Suo sure knew how to bust my guts.
It was my dream to speak again, to finally be rid of something that felt like a curse.
I went into the village many times, and looked around at the many moving mouths. I was able to read most of thier conversations, and I was proud of myself. However, I didn't talk to anyone. I was afraid I still talked like a toddler.
It had been another few weeks before I could get the hang of speech. Suo laughed at me often, but I laughed along with him.
I had enjoyed my time with Suo, and when I wasn't with him, it was unbearable. His laughter stuck with me, his smile engraved into my mind.
One day, I was the one to call out to Suo, instead of him to me. He looked at me surprised, and I smiled brightly.
Thank you I said to Suo.
For a moment he scratched his head, but looked up with a smile and his lips read Anytime Gamy. I felt the tears of joy fall down my cheek, but they were brushed away by Suo, and his lips read No more silent tears while I'm here.
The years passed, me and Gamy grew into little teens. I watched her swim in the summer warm lake, her hair reaching the small of her back. Her clothes clung to her body that grew slimmer with curves over years.
Gamy was slightly even in height with me now, but we both knew I would one day grow taller.
I jumped into the lake after her, and she giggled as the water waves splashed her. The water felt cool around my warm body, and I was at ease, while swimming.
Gamy watched from the distant rocks, and reached for my hand. I looked up at her, but she continued to drag me off to a hidden water spring spot. The moss grew green and carpeted the smooth rock surface, the small water spring flowed around the small area, and there were surrounding nature sounds. She pulled me to the middle where sunlight broke through the trees, and warmed the small spot.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked her.
For a moment, she looked gentle and suble as a grown woman. "I'll show you." Then she continued her little ritual, and dragged me to a little pool under the waterfall.
My mouth opened with awe as I watched the koi fish swimming with the current to the lake he and Gamy were in previously. Gamy held my hand tightly, and my heart tightened as well as she did.
"Suo, thank you for everything." she said smiling, looking deeply into my eyes.
The thumping of my heart grew, my breath staggered. I felt my cheeks grow warm, and the tingly sensation enveloped my body. Gamy fell forward, and I held my breath. Her lips gently made contact with my forehead, and I looked up at her blushing, seeing her own blush. I put my free hand to my forehead, but still held onto her hand.
Gamy looked away embarrassed, but I used my free hand to pull her face close to my own. Our foreheads pressed against eachothers, and we both looked into eachothers' eyes.
"Suo... make me a promise." she said.
"What is it?" I asked her.
"Promise me... that we'll be together forever." she added hesitently ,"I know it sounds kind of pointless, but I... need to know you'll always be with me."
I took her pinky in mine, and I looked straight into her eyes.
"I promise, that I will always be with you. No matter what." I said without hesitation.
She smiled and we both laughed happily for hours, then we both went back. For some reason though, I'm sure we've always known that we left a part of ourselves back there, in the hidden spring opening.
The morning after my confession to Suo, I had awakened to my father packing. He was completely rushing, and the little home was trashed and punctured.
What's wrong father? I asked panicked by my father's suddenness.
We can't stay here any longer. Hurry, start packing! I read from his lips. I protested, but he packed for me instead. I fought him as much as I could, but my father was stronger. I grabbed his arm, and I held on dearly.
At least explain why! I screamed reasonably.
He looked at me, but clearly it was my old father. The one who had neglected me. The one who was drunk and emotionless. I shuddered in fear, and my father tied me to the house support. I struggled hard, but it was useless. He stuffed my mouth with clothes.
He continued filling the bags, then he left. I waited, for who knows how long, then I felt a voice outside. I called out as loud as I could, which was quiet from being muffled by the cloth around my mouth.
Two men busted inside, and went to me. They looked around for signs of my father, but he had long gone. The two men took me to the village head, and they explained to me that my father had stolen from and killed a farmer that lived far from the village, but had supplied the village with rice and fruits.
I felt tremendous pain grow into a massive headache, and painful heart thumps. I gasped for air, trying to take in the information. I had asked what was going to happen to me, but the village head had no idea. There wasn't anyone who could take me in. The village was already so poor. The people there had their own families to worry about.
That was when I saw Suo walking into the village head's home with his dad. I reached for him, and wrapped my arms tightly around him, in fear that I would fall. My knees felt weak, and I felt sick. Suo returned my concern, and he wrapped his arms around me in a gentle but strong embrace.
I had watched Gamy go with the widow, who had come from her old village and decided to take her back. Gamy returned my gaze, and I raced towards her. We jumped into a warm embrace.
She took my hand and wrote I love you with a smile on her face. But my heart ached with the tears that fell from both of our faces. I wrote on her hand as a reply I'll always be with you, I promised. Tears streamed our faces.
I hadn't met Suo for a long time after that, but I always knew he was always with me. The widow was still taking care of Misako in my stead, and she grew as I had.
I treated the widow as family, and Misako like family as well. Despite living a happier life without my father, I still thought of him. Thoughts of my father then brought me to thoughts of Suo, and I always seem to cry at the thought of him. I missed Suo.
When I was a young adult now, the widow told me to live freely. I took it that she had planned to let me go sooner or later.
I gave her a warm embrace, and promised to keep in touch. We three, the widow, Misako, and me, had become more then simple family. I cried thankfully, for everything they gave me.
A week after she had told me that, I headed out to Suo's village. The journey was long, but I finally reached it.
Before I went to the village though, I went to our secret spot. As I approached, I saw a figure sleeping on the ground. I walked closer and saw the sunlight press on Suo's face.
I knew then that Suo was no longer that little boy anymore.
I laid down next to him, and saw that he was taller than me. I stared at his face asleep. My heart quickened, and my body, by instinct, leaned forward. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his, that felt gentle and innocent.
When I opened my eyes, Suo looked at me completely surprised, and I laughed with a tears in my eyes.