Darkness… all around me there's darkness. I keep swimming and swimming but I can't reach the light. Helpless, hopeless... I'm in despair. Why doesn't anyone help me? Can't someone hear me? Senpai? I'm screaming for you, but you don't seem to hear me. Please… I'm drowning… someone save me…
I jerk awake in a cold sweat. I am almost completely unaware of where I am. Kakashi-senpai is sitting by a fire watching me. He has the most panged look on his face. My heart cringes. I don't think I have ever seen it before. What happened?
"Senpai?" I smile just a faint smile. "Did something happen while I was asleep?"
"No… nothing really," he says as he averts his eyes towards the ground.
"What's going on?"
"Well, it's not like I'm not used to your nightmares. It's just… something about this one..."
Shit. I had obviously said something really bad while I was asleep. He refuses to look me in the eyes. I know I have nightmares, believe me, but I didn't think they were the kind to make me cry out too badly. I never thought I would be the cause of his pain.
"Will you tell me what I said?" I try my best to attempt to smile but it's just not working. I know he can tell I'm on edge.
"Tenzou," he says with a sudden firmness in his voice. He looks square in my eyes.
"Yes?"
"You asked me to save you. You told me you loved me."
And that's when it all went dark. I'm not sure how long I was passed out for. All I know is that when I finally came to, Kakashi-senpai was nowhere in sight. I was alone.
It serves me right. How could I be so stupid? Unthinkingly falling asleep right next to senpai knowing I had nightmares like that… I'm a fool. "Oh senpai saaave me. Senpai I looove you. Sheesh! I'm an idiot," I say as I kick a rock into the river.
I hear laughing, and I jump 10 feet into the air. "Is that what you think Tenzou?" Kakashi-senpai was up in a tree, laughing, watching me this whole time.
"Senpai! How many times have I told you not to spy on my like that?"
He laughs. "I can't help it Tenzou, I catch too many of your moments when I do," he says as he walks closer and closer to me. His face is just inches away from mine.
"Umm… so, uhh, about last ni-" but I didn't get to finish my sentence. Kakashi-senpai had his lips locked in mine and had no intention of letting me go. They were like fire on mine. It was a sensation I had imagined so many times before, and I realize now those imaginations had done it no justice at all. I could have sworn I had ruined everything last night. Who knows, maybe this is another horrible nightmare and I will just wake up to Senpai staring at me with pain on his face again.
I guess I got lost in what was going on because we were now on the ground. "S-s-senpai!" I say gasping for breath. "Maybe we should slow down a little bit?" Somehow he had managed to finagle me out of my shirt and was already starting on my pants. It's funny really. The man knows his way around. And it's not like I don't want this. I have loved senpai since my first day on ANBU…
"Slow down? Tenzou, I thought this was what you wanted?"
There he goes again. That face. Why does he keep making that damned face? Fuck this. Fuck him. I can't take this anymore. I push him off of me and I start to back away.
"Tenzou? What's wrong?" he says as he starts to walk after me.
"Stop! Senpai, I don't know why you keep making that damned face, and I don't know if you feel the same about me, but just stop. I can't do this anymore," I say that last sentence without the slightest emotion. I am too far gone. Shit. I'm just like a lovesick maiden. When did it become like this? It's this entire damned fools fault.
He stares at me for a while before he speaks. It's almost as if he is letting me finish my inner monologue. "I'm so sorry," he says. "I'm so sorry." He repeats that over and over. Sorry for what?
"Tenzou, this is all my fault. I'm so so sorry."
"Senpai I-," he interrupts me before I even have a chance to comment.
"We should probably get back to the mission now. The Hidden Sound Village is just over this ridge."
He darts off without another word. It's just like it was before. Back before the "I love you's." Back before we knew each other outside of this world known as shinobi. Back before everything. We are just two people assigned to a mission. We are nothing to each other.