Raieya spent the next day continuing to avoid Gwaine. She still wasn't ready to confront him about her feelings. How could she, when she still wasn't sure of them herself?
Being forced to think about her emotions for a change was not something Raieya had anticipated doing. She was used to going along with things as they came, without putting much thought into it. She had learned long ago in Fairwood not to get attached to anyone. Yet here she was, thinking about Gwaine.
She knew she liked Gwaine, quite a lot actually, but did that mean she loved him? Raieya didn't know. If she really thought about it, she was afraid to love again. Hadnt it only led to bad things with Lucan? If she said she loved Gwaine who was to say it would last? That he wouldn't change his mind next time he saw a pretty girl?
Yet she had to admit, she was very surprised when Gwaine had said he hadn't seen anyone else since her arrival in Camelot. Raieya was also a little surprised herself that she hasn't sought anyone else's company until Leon. Though she tended to never have nearly as many partners as Gwaine had. Actually she had been quite content with Gwaine since their reunion. She supposed that was why it took her so long to try someone else. And that had just been for fun. Raieya liked Leon but he was just a friend, nothing more. Their tryst had been a one time thing. They both understood that. Gwaine was the only person she ever returned to.
Raieya began to wonder why that was. Partly she knew because he was so good at satisfying her. Even though they joked about it, no would ever could compare to him.
She and Gwaine also got along very well. He had an easy going personality, even though he could be arrogant and cocky at times. Raieya liked to think she put him in his place occasionally. He was easy to joke with and he made her laugh often. Not only that, Raieya had always felt she could trust him. Somehow she knew, without a doubt, he would never betray her. How she was so certain of this, she wasn't sure.
Did that mean she did have feelings for him?
Raieya shook her head. She wasn't ready for this. The thought of being in a relationship made her feel trapped. Maybe, over time, she would be ready, but not yet. Who was to say Gwaine would wait for her? It didn't seem fair to her to ask that of him. Especially when she wasn't sure she'd ever come around.
Deciding she could do with some advice, Raieya resolved to go visit Gwen.

Gwen welcomed Raieya in to her small cottage and the two sat down with some tea to talk.

"What's been going on these past couple days?" asked Gwen. "You seem like something's bothering you."

Raieya nodded. "Gwaine and I had an argument of sorts."

"I thought it might have to do with him," Gwen replied. "What happened?"

"When he was off on that patrol a few days ago, I went to the tavern with Leon. We both got a little drunk and we ended up sleeping together. It was just a bit of fun, nothing more. When Gwaine found out though, he got a little upset about it. I don't think he had any right to because we're not courting. So I got angry with him and I haven't spoken to him since."

"Oh, Raieya," said Gwen, gently. "I don't prevent to understand your odd relationship with Gwaine but obviously he's jealous."

"That's the problem!" said Raieya. "We are not in a relationship. He has no right to be jealous!"

"Maybe not," agreed Gwen. "Though it sounds like he has feelings for you. If that's the case it's only natural he get jealous."

"I don't know how to deal with feelings," admitted Raieya. "How can I handle Gwaine's feelings when I don't understand my own?"

"Well," began Gwen. "Let's try to sort them out. What are you feeling?"

"Angry, first off," she replied. "I don't want to deal with this. I'm angry with Gwaine for forcing me to think about it."

Gwen nodded. "What else?"

"I suppose maybe a little guilty," she replied. "Because of Gwaine's reaction. I don't like it."

"If you don't care what Gwaine thinks, why do you feel guilty?" challenged Gwen.

"I'm not sure," Raieya answered. "I suppose because he's my friend and I don't want to ruin that."

"Do you care about him?"

"Of course I do," Raieya immediately responded.

Gwen smiled. "Then I think you have your answer."

"That doesn't mean I want a relationship right now," argued Raieya.

"Then tell him that," urged Gwen. "If he cares for you, he will understand."

"Are you sure that wont ruin our friendship?"

"I am certain," said Gwen confidently.

"I suppose I will," said Raieya slowly. "Thanks, Gwen."

Gwen smiled. "Things will work out."

Raieya finished her tea, thanked Gwen, and returned to the castle to prepare for her evening duties.