Sorry bout late posting, I totally forgot.
I need a method to keep updating :l any ideas?
Ahhaahahha after 20 years I have finally updated!
Bold stuff is Ingrid talking/writing
Chapter 5 – The Count
Yes it is I! The Prince of Darkness, Conquer of souls and black hearted butcher of- Dad, We know!
I was talking to my adoring fans… You don't have any fans.
Just go away Ingrid! Fine
As I was writing, it is I! Prince of darkness, Conquer of Souls and black hearted butcher of- Get on with it!
...
Uh… Ah…
Now I have a fang to pick with you writers, I am meant to be evil, powerful and terrifying but you have made me look like someone with no power who is terrified of his son! You are!
Ingrid? Yes?
Go away or I shall marry you off,
…..
That insolent child is gone. I will never know what is wrong with that girl…
So back to what I was saying, I am NO WAY afraid of my son and I do love him (SHOW THIS TO VLADIMIR!), I don't just want his power but as he should love me I should be given a title and a castle in Oxford where the young breathers shall fall into my fangs!
Magda. I don't know why people say I am scared of her or cannot resist her, she is black hearted, self-centred, beautiful…. That lady is nothing less than ash to me; I need her like a need a stake through the heart.
Ah, the alluring Miss McCauley, I am unsure of why you seem to think I am in love with that breather woman; she is just very resistant to hypnosis and she is a very delicious lady…
Elisabeth Branaugh, why on earth are people bringing that up? I was fond of her yes, she makes a lovely servant; she did things Renefield definitely couldn't so how could I resist?
Ingrid, many of my fans seem to think that I treated Ingrid badly, that is how a girl is meant to be treated! And by the way she is a horrible, scheming, self-centred girl like her mother!
Vlad is not as perfect as all you young inexperienced fan authors seem to think, I have a list of all the things he does wrong!
Doesn't do what his father tells him to
Ignores his father
Gives his father garlic necklaces
Rescues traitors
Forgives slayers and his sister and his mother
Messes up my marriage on three occasions
Isn't evil enough
Falls in love with breathers
Falls in love with slayers
Peace with breathers
Peace with slayers
Metal coffin
Doesn't wear black
Doesn't drink proper blood
Let a maniacal vampire out of the Predictum Impaver
Allowed his reflection to tie me to a chair with fangcuffs and gave me a garlic necklace
Hypnotised Renefield
Insulted his father
Manipulated his father
Sleeps at night
Drinks soy blood
Goes to breather school
Refuses to train
Refused to open the Predictum Impaver
Got stuck in the mirror
Merged with his reflection two years late
Ran away
Got chummy with Bertrand
Refuses to go hunting with me
Reads fanfiction
I think I have given you enough reasons and I am sure that you will reconsider your views on him and write about him being bad but LISTENING TO ME! Maybe that will encourage him to behave more like a vampire but I am proud that Vladdy is such a womaniser and has so many girls wanting him to bite them and then he ruins it by refusing to.
Yours fangfully
Count Dracula
Father of the Chosen One
The Prince of Darkness,
Conquer of souls
Black hearted butcher of- [Not enough room]
Fanfiction headquarters
"Does anyone know how the sentence 'black hearted butcher of' ends? Asks one baffled HyaHya
"Just posting my love story about Erin and Vlad!" One excited writer announces, a few seconds late thunder and lightning fill the sky.
HyaHya gulps "I don't think it went down too well…"
Suddenly the door to the ff-HQ is blown off.
"Damn they've found me," HyaHya swears.
"UPDATE NOW!" A fanfiction reader screams pointing a gargoyle head at the accused writer.
"Is that a gargoyle head from Garside?" The statue burps and the end result is not pretty. Lets just say the lazy writer(HyaHya) ends up covered in goo that doesn't wash out.
[I felt I should punish myself because of my lack of updates on this and other stories…]