Chapter 3
James was walking through the halls of one of the Alliances main bases in Vancouvers version of the Citadel's Presidium three weeks later. He was reflecting on how irritating it had been to get the Commander range time. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, she was relieved of duty and technically imprisoned. Everyone loved reminding him of those facts, like he'd forgotten somehow, and worse they never said no, just that they'd send the request up. Whatever that meant. He understood their hesitation but this was Commander Shepard not some regular piss ant recruit.
Yesterday, he'd had enough of the bullshit and decided to call Anderson to see if he could help at all. Maybe use rank with the range supervisor or something. Anderson advised James that under the unique circumstances that it would be better from Admiral Hackett. That same day, approximately an hour after he'd called Admiral Hackett's office, his secretary called back to let him know Shepard could have an hour on the firing range after it closed at 1730 the very next day; today and he was on his way to tell her now.
It was right around five o'clock when he reached her door, he knocked and immediately went in. As he walked in, he found her standing at the foot of the bed, dressed in marine issue sweat pants and a tank top. Ever since she'd asked him if he was trying to catch her half-dressed, it had become a game for them, for him to try and for her to thwart him. Not that he expected her to be changing since this was around the time he normally visited, he was just honest with himself. He did want to catch her that way, naked preferably. Not that he expected it to ever happen, but he could always hope.
"Commander." He said as the door locked behind him. No matter how many times she told him not to call her that, she was still a Commander to him and pretty much everyone else too. She was the one in denial about it not everyone else. This incarceration was only temporary. He kept doing it because it was his own way of trying to remind her of that.
Instead of responding though she just looked at him expectantly, either not hearing the moniker or ignoring it. He smiled at her as her scent enveloped him, teasing him as it always did; a light scent of flowers and soap. He decided he could make her wait just a bit more, then hit her with the great news and make it that much sweeter.
He started to walk around the small room as casually as he could, looking at everything he could find as if it was a normal day. It was a small battle of wills he knew she'd lose because her curiosity would get the better of her, and it was fun to play with her about it. They'd gotten close enough he knew he wasn't overstepping her boundaries. Sure enough, he had just opened the cabinet over the tiny kitchenette when she cracked.
"Vega you are..." She huffed. She couldn't finish the thought she had to think of the right word to call him. He had to know something and he was deliberately torturing her, she had an idea of when he decided to do it too. It wasn't fair, it's not as if it was her fault he could never catch her undressed. Well, it kind of was, but it was his fault that he always came so late, who changed at five in the evening?
What bothered her more was that she wanted him to catch her, more than that it had become a game she was ok with even pretending to play. As she tried not to think about that disturbing thought and thinking of the right word to use, she made the mistake of looking in his direction. He was looking back at her, not at all surprised about her outburst. She must be losing her mind because she thought of him as sexy right now, the scar on his cheek bringing attention to his beautiful brown eyes. When he slowly, deliberately walked towards her she wasn't prepared. Her stomach did a little flip and the small apartment suddenly felt a even smaller.
For a half a second he thought he saw something akin to nervousness in her eyes as he walked toward her but it was gone so quickly he wasn't sure. He had to be wrong though, what would she have to be nervous about? Her face was flushed a little too, hands on her hips. "I'm what?" He asked softly as he stopped a foot away putting his hands in his pockets, knowing it made him seem bigger.
Damn him, she thought. Think! She practically yelled at herself, in an effort to force her brain to find the right word. "Exasperating." She exclaimed a moment later in triumph. She almost added a 'ha' as if to say you can try to distract me but it won't work. She was glad she had more control over herself. When he continued to look at her she said in a more commanding voice. "Just tell me already! I know you've heard something." She felt her nervousness come through so she crossed her arms. The problem was the Alliance hadn't officially come out and said no about using the range so there was always a chance they would finally say no.
If it had been anyone but Vega they wouldn't have noticed when Shepards demeanor changed. There were no creases on her forehead to give her away like other people. For Shepard, it was her posture that gave her away, her shoulders tightened ever so slightly even though just now she tried to hide it by crossing her arms. So without any more delay he said. "You've got your range time. Today, in half an hour." The smile she gave him was with such pure elation he realized in this moment she was completely unguarded.
He definitely took too much pleasure in putting that smile on her face. He was in the middle of reminding himself there was a clear line between them that he shouldn't cross when suddenly she threw her arms around him. And his arms too quickly embraced her. Her body was strong and soft, and seemed to fit into him perfectly. Before he could do something stupid like use his hands to memorize her curves he felt her stiffen and slowly push herself away from him, he reluctantly let her go.
"Um, sorry, ah thank you." She said awkwardly. "I've been going kind of stir crazy, as you know, and you're like a brother to me and it was just so great to know that I'll be out of this room for even an hour." She rubbed her hands on her thigh to try to stop her rambling and steady her thudding heart. She needed him to believe her and just brush it off as excitement for being able to leave the room. Realizing he was still standing there, looking at her expectantly she forced her mind past the awkwardness by enveloping her happiness at being able to leave her cage and said excitedly. "You have to leave, I have to change!" Her smile firmly planted on her face.
Vega nodded at her and left to wait outside. As he leaned on the wall right outside the door a smile tugged at his lips, he'd never heard her ramble before. He let the smile drop almost at once and closed his eyes and let his head drop. He could still feel her breasts pressing against his chest. He crossed his arms over his chest to push the thought away. He couldn't go any deeper than being her friend; like a brother. Once they released her he'd only be a footnote; the way it should be, that was no reason to lose his cool.
As the door shut she took long breathes to calm her heartbeat. What had possessed her? Maybe staying in solitary would have been better. At least then she wouldn't have the opportunity to make a fool of herself. When was the last time she hugged anyone anyway, ten years? And why did he seem so calm and casual, the complete opposite of her reaction?
And the horror, she had started rambling! She hated that when she got nervous she rambled. She smacked her palm to her forehead and ran it down her face as she plopped onto the bed. This was why she loved the military and did so great with it, there was no gray area. It was also why she was consistently single, she liked rank and structure and order and there was no guessing and no moments of discomfort. His nearness was affecting her and she couldn't hide it. She stood up, she couldn't fixate on it now. She went to the closet to change into her gear. And with nothing else to do her mind went right back to what she was trying to forget.
James Vega. She knew her reactions had to be more intense because it had been a long time she'd touched anyone, let alone hug a man like Vega she rationalized as she tugged off her tank top and sweats. Standing still for a moment, she shook her head. She couldn't allow herself this moment of weakness, that way, by the time she left for the range she would be her normal self again. She got back to dressing. She finished pulling on her fatigues and sat down to tie her boots. A wave of anxiety hit her as she remembered how traitorously her body had reacted to his. It had felt good, he'd been warm and inviting and she's started to melt into him before she'd caught herself.
Maybe Garrus had been right, she thought letting go of the laces to cover her face with her hands. Maybe she should have gotten laid like everyone else on her ship had before they'd hit the Omega 4 Relay or the time before that right before they'd gone to Ilos. So she could know if she were overreacting or if it was something else. No, she thought, she could at least admit that to herself, she was attracted to the man. Hopefully her body hadn't betrayed too much, that way she could pretend it never happened. At least in public.
She finished tying up the laces on both boots, took one last breath to steady her nerves, reminded herself she was being ridiculous and firmly resolved to focus on the fact that she was less than thirty minutes away from holding her Widow 52 again or any sniper rifle at this point. Walking to the door it slid open, she gestured for him to lead the way and tried not to grind her teeth as his mellow cologne mixed with the smell of clean linens surrounded her.
He was able to pretend nothing happened since she walked out the calm and collected Commander he knew she was. Which was good, he had to focus on his job as they walked to the range. He kept his head on a swivel, on alert for anything unusual. A few looks were thrown their way, but none of them showed any disdain or violence, more like awe and shock that they were seeing the real Commander Shepard. He chuckled to himself wondering if she realized how much influence she actually had over people by just her reputation alone. He respected her decision to blow the relay and couldn't imagine the struggle she must have gone through or what she must be still going through. He didn't suspect anything would happen to them, they were in Alliance headquarters, but he couldn't relax.
She'd finally started opening up to him. Around a month into his assignment Shepard had started to share some of what had happened; something he suspected she didn't do often and he was humbled by her trust. She'd told him before the relay exploded that she'd tried to have the Batarian's evacuated but there just hadn't been any time. Her voice was hollow and her eyes told him she was somewhere else. When her skin turned a slight shade of white he knew she was living it again. She'd come back from where the memory had taken her and it took a monumental effort from him to fight his instincts to hold her to try and comfort her. She was higher than his commanding officer but she was still a person and he felt like an ass whenever he thought about it.
As they walked they didn't speak, Shepard was glad, she didn't want James to get in trouble for befriending the enemy. She snorted to herself, she was the enemy. Sometimes it amused her, sometimes it shamed her and sometimes it frustrated her. She just kept moving forward. It was silly how much going to the range excited her but it did and it helped keep all her other thoughts at bay. It'd been far too long since she'd held a weapon.
She gave a sidelong glance to her bodyguard, she'd have to find a way to thank him, a hug wasn't enough, nor was it appropriate. He'd kept his word, and it was a task that couldn't have been easy to get permission to do. That just inched him up a notch in her book. She looked around the corridor and stairwell they went through to the range, she was glad that there weren't many people. They arrived and the walk had been blessedly uneventful.
She was authorized to fire an assault rifle, a sniper and a pistol and she had an hour to do it. They were already set up for her so she immediately reached for the assault rifle, aimed at the target and emptied a thermal clip on it. She closed her eyes for a moment, it had been therapeutic and she wanted to take it in. After a moment she opened her eyes, and with a wicked grin got down to business. She did a roll to the half wall to her left ejecting the empty clip and reloading a fresh one at the same time. She then shot from cover in short bursts on another target.
He didn't know it was possible but watching her fire the weapons was hot. She handled the guns expertly as she did old marine shooting drills. He never wanted to be on the wrong side of a gun she was firing. Later when they left at the end of the hour she looked content. They didn't talk as they walked back, both constantly looking for an attack that didn't come. He could almost feel her energy, and she still smelled good. Better, he corrected himself, now she smelled of soap, flowers and carbon.