Chapter: 4: Revelations
Setting: during season eight, episode tag 'Dead Air', AU after that
Summary: What if when Ziva and McGee had turned off the radio, Tony had ended up in a deadly situation and needed their help? Will his teammates realize something is wrong in time to save both their partner and the victim? And what happens when the real reason why Tony didn't have any back-up is revealed? Will Team Gibbs survive the truth? Or will it be the end of them?
Chapter Word Count: 6,753
A/N: here is the new chapter! Yay! Oh wow! All those reviews…I feel faint from happiness. Thanks to everyone who loves, and continues reading, this story! You guys are the best!
Reviewers for last chapter:
Magpie1600; chinapps22; angelscatie; guest; merrygal; prince-bishop; megth; daisy1409354 (guest); smush68; Popsnouck (guest); tamy-blue; sopmire; DS2010; lulubell76; Luvliacd; One More Disaster; Rainbow2007; PhoenixWytch; duffer1960; TracyTravis; newgal; NCIS fan too (guest); jessieleigh528; Alley of the Labyrinth; angeleyes46; keembur; coastiewife465; ladc; NCISFanatic01; Josie (guest); Jebeth; Midnightstarlight23; rai1515; kbotr (guest); karlii; mstictac (guest); guest; Kzaboutu (guest); NiceStories; tansysam; MarveryTibbsMcGarretWilliams ; jojobeans1; miraakira; Darkwriter69; MelodyPotterSnape; Michelle Cross; Stardancing; gypsydancer529; julie250; chemmom4
Guest: ok…my mistake *laughs* and thanks for the looking out…really appreciate it *grins* I can't wait either! *laughs*
NCIS fan too (guest): thanks for the reprimand, and I apologize to everyone that had been misled by the "Family" tag.
Ok; this is a review that someone left; someone who didn't have the courage to write their name;
It is just not at all O.K. to mess with characters that ARE NOT OF YOUR
CREATION! In ways that are just totally offensive to the creator of that
Character. You really should be sued for playing with sexual orientaion of
these characters SHAME ON YOU! are you so uncreative that you can't invent
your own gay characters to put in your stories?
I'm not even gonna bother responding to it, however, if any of my fans want to, then by all means, go ahead! I look forward to reading your response to this! LMFAO, 'cause seriously, what the actual heck? And what makes it even funnier? They left this review on chapter one; I didn't make the note about it being slash until chapter two! OMG! LOL. P.S; the word is spelt orientation!
Disclaimer: NCIS and all its affiliates belong to its creators Donald P. Bellisario and Don McGill, and CBS Television. No trademark or copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made from this. In other words, I DO NOT own.
"Speaking"
'Thinking'
"Speaking over the phone"
Original Posting Date: Friday 21st September, '12.
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth—Bo Bennett
Gibbs' shout echoed in the air, freezing everyone on the floor and every agent turned to stare at him, but he ignored them. He couldn't believe what Abby had just told him.
Immediately, McGee and Ziva were out of their seats and standing in front of Gibbs' desk, concern radiating from them.
"Are you sure Abby?" he asked, needing to understand that he had heard correctly.
"Positive Gibbs," Abby sniffled again, "I checked and checked; there's nothing wrong with the radio and on the tape, there's a blank space that's about three or so hours long. Gibbs…Tony didn't have any back-up and he didn't know." A couple sobs escaped, "they turned it off…they left him alone."
Gibbs hung up after a terse 'Thank you' and then, he slowly stood and turned to face his two agents.
McGee and Ziva exchanged looks before looking back at their boss.
"Is everything alright boss?" McGee asked, "Tony ok?"
Gibbs said nothing at first; he just glared at his two agents. Slowly, his blue eyes blanked over in coldness, reminding those who could see him of an empty, cold wasteland like the Arctic.
Ziva and McGee took a step backwards, shivering at the look in their bosses eyes.
"Gibbs?" Ziva called out uncertainly. She was aware of all eyes on them and it left her feeling exposed and she fidgeted, slowly.
"Do you want to tell me," Gibbs' voice was soft, yet dangerous, "why Morrison said that Tony called for back-up and no one came?"
McGee and Ziva froze, as did everyone else.
"B-Boss," McGee stammered out; his heart was pounding because he really didn't want to answer the question. 'But can I outright lie to Gibbs?' he had no choice, he had to, "Ziva and I were in the car the whole time with the radio on. Tony never called us."
Gibbs' eyes went colder. He couldn't believe that McGee had just lied to him. He shifted his gaze to Ziva.
"He is right Gibbs," Ziva agreed with McGee, after all, it was the plan they had come up with in the hospital. This was for the best, at least until Tony was better. "Maybe, the radio malfunctioned. It would explain why if Tony had called for help, we never heard anything."
It took all of Gibbs' self-control to stop the anger and rage and disgust that wanted to explode out of him. As it was, his control was hanging by a thin thread, ready to snap at any moment.
He said nothing to either agent that would've given them a glimpse of storm raging inside of their boss, if he had, they would've known. Instead, he pulled out his cell and dialled Abby's number.
"Abby," Gibbs said, never taking his eyes off of the two agents in front of him, "I need you to repeat what you told me about the radio."
At his words, McGee paled and Ziva's eyes slipped shut briefly.
Gibbs held out his phone and pressed the speaker button. Since the floor was so quiet, Abby's voice was heard by everyone.
"There's nothing wrong with the radio," Abby said, she had gotten her crying under control, so her voice just quivered, "It didn't malfunction or anything. The radio was working fine Gibbs."
"You want to change your answer McGee? David?" Gibbs demanded, "You want to tell me what really happened out there? Was Morrison right? Did Tony call for back-up?"
McGee and Ziva stared at their boss for a few minutes before dropping their eyes; they couldn't hold his gaze.
"TELL ME!" Gibbs roared out, making everyone jump, including Abby who was still on the phone, and the director who had arrived at the bullpen to see what was going on.
"That's what he told us," McGee answered finally, his voice soft and when he looked up, his eyes were filled with tears, "but we don't know for sure because-because—
"BECAUSE WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?!" Gibbs shouted, cutting him off.
"Because we turned off the radio," Ziva admitted, "Tony could've called for help, but we don't know because we turned the radio off."
The floor was quiet, dead quiet, as everyone stared at Gibbs and his team members. No one could believe what they had just heard.
McGee and Ziva had deliberately left their partner without back-up, a partner who was now in the hospital in critical condition.
"You turned off the radio?" Gibbs repeated, "You turned off the radio when you were on a reconnaisance mission and you left Tony without back-up. Why?"
Ziva swallowed; how could she answer that question? How could she tell Gibbs that the reason they had turned the radio off was because they were tired of listening to Tony talk?
"ANSWER ME!" Gibbs barked, making them jump again.
McGee looked over at Ziva and saw her look away and he knew, she couldn't admit the reason why. He wasn't sure he could either, but somehow, he was able to force the condemning words past the lump in his throat. "We were tired of listening to him talk. He kept rambling and rambling. We just wanted peace and quiet."
Gibbs stared at both his agents in disbelief, but he wasn't the only one. Everyone else did as well.
"It was just a joke," Ziva added on. Her heart ached because she knew that there was no turning back. The truth was out. She had jeopardized not only her career, but her friendships with everyone here.
At her words, Gibbs lost any semblance of control and composure. "A JOKE? A JOKE? TONY IS IN THE HOSPITAL FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE, AND A WOMAN IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOUR JOKE! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SEVERITY OF WHAT YOU DID?!"
By the time he was done, Gibbs was shouting. He took a deep, deep breath to try and calm down; it worked, but only slightly, "And if that wasn't enough, you stood there and you lied to me; you lied right to my face."
"Boss," McGee stammered.
"Don't," Gibbs warned, "There is nothing you could possibly say that could change this."
The sound of the elevator drew almost everyone's attention.
Abby stepped off, Vitalia in her arms, and headed towards Gibbs and the others. There were tears running down her cheeks, but she didn't care. Her focus was on three people only.
She placed Vitalia next to Gibbs' desk and walked over to McGee.
"Abby," McGee started.
SMACK!
McGee's head flew to the side from the force of the blow and he slowly turned back to face Abby while he held a hand to his stinging cheek. The condemnation in her eyes tore at him.
"How could you?" Abby seethed, green eyes blazing with pain, betrayal and anger, "How could you do that to Tony? To her?" she gestured angrily to Vitalia behind her. "He called for help and you didn't know, all because of a stupid joke?"
"We are sorry," Ziva said. She blinked and was surprised to feel the tears on her cheeks. She has not cried since she was a little girl.
"You're sorry?" Abby scoffed, "Tell that to Tony; tell that to Vitalia; tell that to the woman who died! If you had just done your jobs, everything that happened could've been prevented! While you were playing your joke, while you were ignoring Tony, he was fighting."
She pushed her hands in her pocket and pulled out a tape recorder. Her hands shook as she lifted it in the air for them to see.
"What is that Abby?" Gibbs asked, his voice gruff from the residual anger.
"I managed to get the recordings from Tony's side of the radio," Abby said before she glared at McGee and Ziva, "You want to hear what's on it?" She didn't wait for them to answer as she pushed play.
"Guys, I'm gonna go and check out…number 673. I'm getting a bad feeling."
"Ziva! McGee! I need back-up and an ambulance! Hurry!"
"McGee…Ziva…answer me! Where are you?...I need your help!"
-heavy breathing could be heard- "Z-Ziva…M-McGee…I n-need help…" –even heavier breathing
At the last recording, most of the females on the floor had their hands over their mouths and their eyes were filled with tears while the males had either turned away, closed their eyes or tighten their hands into fists; they could all clearly hear Tony struggling to breathe.
Abby's anger had disappeared by the time the second recording was heard and now, her body was hunched slightly over from pain, "Four times…four times he called out to you and you didn't answer."
She straightened up and stared at both of them with saddened and pain-filled eyes. When she spoke, her voice was soft and that seemed even worse than if she had yelled, "If Tony dies, I will never forgive you."
She turned away from them and walked over to Vitalia, picking up the little girl and wrapping her arms tightly around her.
Gibbs just stared at the two agents in front of them. He was still in disbelief over everything that had just happened; to think, he had trained these two, worked with them, trusted them, but looking at them now, he felt as if he didn't know them. He took a slight step back.
"You're off my team," he announced. "I don't care where you go, but you're no longer working for me. And if you come anywhere near Tony, you will regret it."
He walked over to Abby, and placing a hand on her back, he guided her to the elevator, not even sparing a glance backwards.
When the elevator doors closed behind Gibbs and Abby, all eyes turned back to McGee and Ziva.
"Agents McGee, David," Vance walked up to them, startling both as they had had no idea he was present.
"Director," both said as one.
"What you did went against every protocol this agency, and others, have," Vance continued as he stared at the two of them, "You left your teammate on his own, deliberately, knowing that at any moment the situation could've turned deadly and it did. Did either of you ever stop to think and ask yourself, what if it wasn't a domestic dispute Agent DiNozzo had been caught up in? What if he had found the terrorist you were searching for?"
Both agents shifted on their feet at the words, because no, they hadn't stopped to consider all that.
Vance continued, "Never have I been so disappointed and disgusted in the actions of two agents before. Turn in your badge and your gun. You're suspended without pay for three weeks; at the end of those three weeks, you will have a disciplinary hearing to determine your future at NCIS. Over the course of the three weeks however, you will be subjected to Internal Affairs."
"IA?" McGee questioned.
"Of course," Vance nodded, "an agent was hurt."
"We did not mean for this to happen," Ziva said as she removed both her badge and her gun.
"Whether you meant for it to happen or not," Vance said as he took them from her, "the point is, it did." He took McGee's as well, "Now, I suggest you clear your desk and leave, unless you would like to be escorted out by security."
With that, he turned and headed for the stairs, leaving the two agents—former—staring after him.
McGee and Ziva didn't look at each other as they went to their desks and collected their belongings. They were aware of the whispers and dirty looks from the other agents, but they ignored them.
As they were heading to the elevator, an agent stopped them. "What did Tony ever do to you that made you do this to him? Tony has been nothing but friendly to you, to the both of you, since you started working here and this is how you repay him?"
Another agent spoke up, "It shouldn't surprise me though; they've always treated Tony like they were better than him. Especially you McGee; you think that just because you know your way around computers and because you graduated from MIT that you're a better person and agent than Tony, well you're wrong. It takes more than that to be an agent, and it's obvious you don't have it."
McGee ducked his head in shame and avoided eye contact as he continued walking. He pressed the elevator for the lobby and wished it along faster.
"You do not understand," Ziva glared at the agent.
"I don't understand?" the agent, Matthew Donovan, repeated with a scoff, "I've been working here a lot longer than you have David, longer than McGee even, and that means, I've been around Tony longer than any of you and I may not be close to him, but it seems it doesn't matter because I still treat him better than either of you do. You think we don't hear the snide remarks and insults that you try to disguise as friendly comments? Tony may be a prankster, but his pranks have never been harmful and his jokes have never been anything more than that, but the things that two of you say to him and then claim to be joking about? That's not joking, that's just being cruel."
"Funny thing is," the first agent, Steve Williams, added, "For him being a prankster, when it came down to crunch time, you could always count on Tony to have your back. And he never would've done what you did. And that, that right there, is what makes him a better agent than either of you will ever be."
The elevator doors opened and McGee and Ziva quickly stepped in. Hitting the button for the lobby, they waited for the doors to close, just before they did, Matt had something else to say.
"I hope your need for peace and quiet was worth it because you've lost any respect and any friends that you may have had here," he said.
The doors closed and McGee sagged against the back wall. "Oh God."
Ziva took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes to get her emotions under control; it wasn't working as well as she hoped. A prank, a simple and stupid prank and now, she could be losing her job and Tony could die. What had she done? How could she have been so foolish? Vance was right; they had broken every protocol and Gibbs' rule number *one;
Never leave your partner without back-up
They had done the exact opposite. Not only had they left Tony alone, they had done so deliberately.
When they elevator opened to the lobby, the two walked out and wasn't surprised at the glares they got from the people on the floor. News did travel fast through the NCIS grapevine.
As they left the building and headed for their cars, they stopped and looked at each other.
"We royally screwed up," McGee was the first to talk.
"We did," Ziva nodded, her dark eyes unfathomable. "I cannot believe Gibbs kicked us off his team."
"Neither can I," McGee blew off, "But we deserved it." he paused, "I wish I could go back; I never would've turned off the radio, or I would've turned it back on sooner." He let out a frustrated groan, "How were we supposed to know anything would've happened?"
"We could not have," Ziva agreed, "but that is no excuse. What we did, it was wrong. We knew it was wrong, and yet we did it anyway. I do not know what I am going to do now. Being a part of Gibbs' team—
"I know," McGee nodded, "I loved being a part of this team; it was like our own little family."
"And we broke that," Ziva sighed. "Not only have we lost our positions as members of Team Gibbs, but we may also lose our jobs."
"Tony was counting on us to have his six," McGee said, his eyes filling with tears once more, "but we didn't and because of what we did, because of us, a woman is dead and Tony could die."
No more was said and everything was quiet. Soon enough, the two walked away from each other and headed to their cars, each lost in their own thoughts.
~…~
As Gibbs drove to the hospital, both he and Abby were quiet, lost in their thoughts on what they had just found out. They still couldn't believe what Ziva and McGee had done. It wasn't sinking in as yet.
Gibbs glanced over at Abby and his heart ached to see the pain and betrayal etched on her face. He knew that it was seriously hurting her; when Ziva had first joined the team, it had taken her a while to get used to the Mossad agent, but eventually, she had and soon enough the two women had become really close. While Ziva hadn't taken Kate's place in Abby's heart, she had managed to create her own.
And McGee; Abby had gotten used to him almost immediately. He knew the guy had feelings for her, even Abby knew it, but she hadn't let it interfere with their friendship. The two had become close.
Tony though; Tony had been Abby's big brother from the moment they became friends. True, they hadn't gotten along at first, mostly because Abby had thought that Tony would replace her as Gibbs' favourite, but after she had realized that wasn't the case, she had opened up to Tony and the two had quickly become as thick as thieves.
So for them to do this, and to Tony, he knew it was killing her because it was killing him. He worked with them day by day, he trusted them, and they had betrayed that.
"What are we going to do Gibbs?" Abby asked, breaking his concentration. "I mean, Ziva and McGee…what they did…how can we get past that? How can we forgive them?"
Gibbs' hands tightened around the steering wheel. Honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted to forgive them. "I don't know Abbs."
Nothing was more said and soon after, the two pulled up to the hospital. After parking, they quickly made their way inside and up to Tony's room.
"Jethro, Abigail," Ducky greeted when he saw the door open and saw them walk in.
"Is everything ok?" Palmer asked, taking in Abby's tear-streaked face.
Abby looked at Gibbs before walking over to the chair next to Tony's bed. She dropped down, careful of Vitalia, who was sleeping, and gently reached out to touch him. The entire day had been horrible and right now, she needed him…even if he couldn't hear or talk to her.
"No, everything is not ok," Gibbs answered gruffly.
Ducky got up out the chair on the other side of Tony's bed, allowing Gibbs to take it and moved to the chair next to the door, pulling it closer. "What happened Jethro? And where are Timothy and Ziva? I would've thought they'd rejoin us."
Gibbs looked up and glared at Ducky, while Abby ducked her head and bit her lip.
"If those two know what's good for them," Gibbs growled out, "They'll stay the hell away from here."
Palmer frowned, as did Ducky.
"Jethro," Ducky reprimanded gently, "You cannot keep them away from their teammate. They deserve to be here."
"No they damn well don't!" Gibbs snapped, "Not when it's their fault Tony's here in the first place."
"What do you mean?" Palmer asked, looking from Gibbs to Abby.
With a sigh, Abby explained everything to the two men. When she was done, both men were frowning, but Ducky's eyes held an anger that she had seen only once before on the old man, and that was when Ari had shot Gerald.
"Are you saying that Ziva and Timothy deliberately cut off all communications between themselves and Anthony and then proceeded to lie about it?" Ducky asked.
"That's exactly what I'm saying Duck," Gibbs hands balled into fists as he thought again on what the two had done.
"Oh my," Ducky closed his eyes as anger flashed through him. To think that two of the people he had considered family had done such a thing, and to someone who did not deserve it. "I can't believe they did that."
Palmer, who was frowning down at the ground, looked up at Ducky's words, "I can."
Three set of eyes snapped over to him and his face flushed at being under their scrutiny and for a second, he considered not saying anything, but then, his gaze settled on Tony. He took a deep breath, "Ziva and McGee have always treated Tony like crap."
Abby frowned; though she was very angry, and possibly a little hateful towards the two for what they did to Tony, she didn't agree with Palmer. "That's not true."
Palmer just stared at her, "Yes it is. You may not have seen it Abby, but it is true. I didn't realize it when I first started working here, but eventually I did. I know that Tony plays a lot of pranks, and that he's nosy sometimes, but I didn't care. To me, he was just being Tony and in his own way, he was just showing he cared and that we mattered to him. His being nosy was just another way to show him being concerned. But McGee and Ziva, and even Kate when she was still alive, sometimes they treated Tony as if they were better than him. It was like to them, Tony was nothing more than a college frat boy who never grew up.
"I know that they were joking, but sometimes, the things they said, they seemed more cruel than funny. McGee always throws the fact that Tony had a lot of money as a child back in his face and is always teasing him about having a spoiled childhood or being upset if he didn't get what he wanted, but that's not true and he doesn't know, or he doesn't care, how much it actually hurts Tony."
"Palmer," Abby interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore.
"No Abby," Palmer shook his head, his voice firm and steady and filled with determination, stunning Abby, as well as the other two, into silence, "This needs to be said. You know Tony had a crappy childhood, but they don't, because they never bothered to find out. All they saw was the designer clothes and they know who Tony's father is, but they don't know Tony. They see that he came from money and so they think he was a spoiled, rich kid. McGee thinks that just because he graduated from MIT or wherever it was, that he's superior to Tony; Kate thought that just because she protected the President, she had more of a right to be an agent than Tony did and Ziva, well I don't know her, and I really don't want to either. But the point is, all three of them feel as if Tony doesn't deserve to be an Agent, especially Agent Gibbs' Second in Command."
he turned to Gibbs, "When you had taken that leave of absence a few years ago and Tony had been left in charge, that's when I fully realized just how little respect both Ziva and McGee had for Tony; they constantly questioned his decisions, sometimes even going so far as to outright ignore them.
"They constantly belittled him and kept reminding him that he wasn't you, so he should stop trying to act like a boss. They didn't seem to care that Tony was the boss because he had the longest experience as an NCIS agent and he was your Second in Command. Almost every night, Tony stayed back late at the office to finish up the reports that Ziva and McGee had refused to do from earlier in the day."
"I didn't know that," Abby frowned over at Tony then at Palmer.
"Of course you didn't," Palmer shook his head, "because whether you realize it or not, you acted the same towards Tony, and so did you Dr. Mallard."
"Mr. Palmer," Ducky reprimanded at the same time that Abby let out an angry "What?"
Palmer swallowed at the look on their faces and had to steel himself not to bolt from the room. 'What the hell am I doing? I should just stop talking; yeah…just stop talking.' His eyes moved to Tony's almost involuntarily and immediately, he knew he couldn't. He knew Tony wouldn't have said anything, and this was his chance of finally voicing all the shit that Tony had suffered through because of Ziva and McGee and everyone else. 'Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound.'
Taking a deep breath, he continued, but he kept his gaze on Tony, almost as if to draw strength from the unconscious man, "The whole time Agent Gibbs was gone, Tony kept everything together, or he tried to. While everyone had been angry about Agent Gibbs' sudden departure, Tony had understood. I asked him why he wasn't angry like everyone else;
Flashback
"Are you angry too?" Palmer looked over Tony. They had decided to eat their lunch at a restaurant not too far from NCIS, not wanting to be around the others right now.
"Angry?" Tony frowned at his friend, even as he poured ketchup over his fries. "Why?"
"Agent Gibbs and how he left," Palmer explained as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
"No," Tony shook his head.
"Why?" Palmer asked, needing to understand. He knew Tony had an amazing ability to not let things get to him, but this was different.
"Jimmy," Tony leaned back in his seat, "you need to understand something. Gibbs woke up in the hospital with virtually no memory of the last nineteen years; to him, it must feel like he's just lost his wife and kid, and on top of that, the moment he gets out of the hospital, the country that he had once sworn to protect and serve and fought for, showed basically no mercy or compassion when that Naval ship was allowed to be destroyed. That was like a double whammy for Gibbs, so I don't blame him for wanting to get away. Hell, if it was me, I would've run too."
"But what about how he left you in charge?" Palmer asked, "doesn't that make you a little upset."
"Nope," Tony shook his head as he took a sip of his drink. "Why? Because despite not having all his memories back, Gibbs' "You'll do" tells me that there was still enough of him there that remembered that I am a good agent and that he could trust me to do the job he knows I can do."
Palmer thought on that for a few minutes before nodding. "Ok."
"Don't worry my little Autopsy Gremlin," Tony grinned, "Gibbs will be back and be the hard-ass marine we know and love."
Palmer grimaced at that and Tony couldn't help but to laugh.
End flashback
Palmer shook his head, "the thing of it is," Gibbs, Ducky and Abby had turned to look at Tony as Palmer spoke, turned back to Palmer as he continued, "everyone was so busy being angry and missing Gibbs, that no one paid any attention to Tony. Tony made sure everyone was ok; he brought Abby her Cafpows, he would come down to autopsy and sit and listen to Dr. Mallard, he did Ziva and McGee's unfinished reports, he kept everyone from falling apart while he himself was falling apart. All of you were so busy in how you were feeling, that you didn't realize, or care, about how Tony was reacting to Gibbs' leaving."
He turned and glared at Gibbs. Later, he would wonder just how he had managed to survive doing that without Gibbs destroying him. "And you Agent Gibbs, when you came back; you just pushed Tony to the side. You threw all his stuff back on his desk without a word. Not even a good job Tony or I'm proud that you stepped up and took care of things for me. Nothing. And McGee and Ziva, when they saw that, they just rubbed it in his face, basically reminding him of what they had been saying all along, that he wasn't you and he wasn't good enough to be a team leader. And you Agent Gibbs did nothing to stop them."
Gibbs glared at Palmer and stood up with such force that his chair flew back, making them jump and waking Vitalia.
Palmer flinched and tried to press himself as far back into the chair as he could go as he watched Gibbs walk towards him. 'Oh God. I knew it. I'm gonna die. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?'
But Gibbs didn't even glance at Palmer as he stormed out of the room.
Palmer's body sagged back into his seat from relief. "I can't believe I just went off on Agent Gibbs. Oh God he's gonna kill me."
"I wouldn't worry Mr. Palmer," Ducky said softly, "Jethro has a habit of not wanting to hear when something has been his fault, especially when it comes to Anthony."
Abby wiped her tears. She couldn't believe everything that Palmer had said. But when she thought back to the few months Gibbs had been gone, she realized that Palmer was right; they, she especially, had treated Tony unfairly. Tony had comforted her about her missing Gibbs, but not once had she thought about how he was feeling.
Ducky sat back in his chair, his eyes on the body on the bed. His heart ached at his assistant's words for he knew it was the truth. Looking back, he was appalled at his own actions and for being too caught up in his pain to realize Tony had been hurting just as much.
"Oh my dear boy," Ducky said softly, "We have wronged you haven't we?"
He looked up and saw Vitalia staring at Tony. His mind took in the little girl and a thought came to him. "Abigail, I do suspect that that little girl needs something to eat. She has been at the hospital for hours now and I'm sure she is quite hungry."
Abby's green eyes went wide before she looked down at Vitalia. "Are you hungry?"
Vitalia bit her lip and nodded slowly.
"Oh sweetie, why didn't you say something?" Abby hugged her briefly. "Come on, let's go get something to eat and then we'll come right back here, ok?"
"Ok," Vitalia nodded and allowed Abby to place on the ground.
"Do you guys need anything?" Abby turned to Ducky and Palmer. She needed to get out of the room; Palmer's words kept echoing through her mind and she needed to get away.
Palmer shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Tony.
"I am fine," Ducky smiled. "Go on. We'll stay with Tony."
"Ok," Abby nodded, "We'll be back."
~…~
Gibbs paced the corridor around the corner from Tony's room. Palmer's words rung in his head and he let out a growl, one that scared the doctor that had been walking by, causing the man to increase his pace.
How dare the man say those things! As if he would condone anyone hurting Tony! He'd kill them first.
But even as that thought completed itself, he couldn't help the flow of memories that raced across his mind; images after images, of Ziva and McGee's heckling and their words to Tony. He saw it all from a new perspective.
As his mind went through each memory, his agitated pacing slowed until he stopped and he leaned against the wall as the realization that Palmer was right slammed into him; he could see the cruelty in each word they had thrown at Tony; how mean their so-called jokes were.
But it was his own actions that had him reeling. He had allowed Ziva and McGee to get away with things, especially with what they said to Tony. But at the time, he had done nothing because he knew Tony could hold his own against the two of them. And if he was honest, deep down, he had used it as a means to keep Tony at arms-length emotionally because he hadn't wanted to give into the feelings regarding his 2iC.
'Was I such a bastard that I let things get that far? Was it so much easier to ignore their hurting Tony than to admit how I felt about him?'
Gibbs ran a hand through his hair. 'I have to fix this. But how?'
With a groan, Gibbs leaned off the wall and headed back to Tony's room. He knew there was only one way to fix it and that was to do something he hated to do; talk about his feelings.
But, if he wanted Tony in his life as more than a boss and his second in command—and he did—then he would have to talk. Tony needed to know how sorry he was about everything and more importantly, he needed to know how he felt about him and that he wanted a future with him.
When he got back to the room, he saw that Abby and Vitalia were gone. He turned to Ducky to ask, but the ME spoke before he could.
"It is getting late, so Abigail took Vitalia to get something to eat, and I suspect a set of clothes as well," Ducky answered.
"Ok," Gibbs nodded and walked over to Tony's side, retaking his seat. "Would you give me some time with him?"
"Of course," Ducky nodded as he stood up, "Come along Mr. Palmer."
Palmer stood up and looked at Gibbs, "Agent Gibbs, I just w-want you to know that—
"It's ok Palmer," Gibbs cut him, not wanting to listen to the man's continued stuttering.
Palmer bit his lip and then he turned and followed Ducky out of the room.
Gibbs watched them leave before turning back to Tony. He knew what he wanted to say, but he had no idea how to say it. But that couldn't stop him. He had to figure out how to say it because he had already lost so much time with Tony.
After staring at Tony for almost ten minutes, he finally figured out where to start; he was about to break one of his rules. "Tony…I'm sorry…so sorry about everything. I should never have let this get this far. I should've stopped it from the start." He sighed, "I honestly didn't think it would get this bad. I have no excuse Tony."
He reached out and touched Tony's arm, gently, "Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted to do, and by ignoring what was going on, I did just that. I made you feel as if you weren't important to the team, to me, and you are. You mean more to me than you believe you do and part of that is my fault; it's my fault for not letting you know, for letting you think you were replaceable, because you're not.
"This job, it's dangerous, and every day we go out and we do it, it's with the possibility that we might not come back. I don't worry about myself, or even get scared, but when it comes to you, I can't help it. Why is it always you Tony? Why is it always you that ends up in trouble? Every time you get hurt, I feel like I lose my mind. When you had the plague, I had never been more scared. That's when I admitted to myself how really felt about you and that's when it sunk in that I could lose you. But instead of telling you, I buried my feelings. I'm a grumpy bastard Tony, but you know that."
Gibbs groaned, "Aw hell Tony, I'm no good at this. I've been divorced three times for crying out loud. But you, you're different. You make me different. Ducky and Abby have known me the longest, and yet, you are closer to me than any of them. You know me better than anyone. The last person to know me like that was…Shannon. What I'm trying to say is, I love you. I'm in love with you. I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone, not after Shannon, but I do."
He leaned closer to Tony, placing his lips near Tony's ear, "Listen to me DiNozzo; are you listening? You're mine Tony. And I refuse to let you go, you hear me? So don't you dare give up…not now. I'm gonna be right here waiting for you."
With that, he leaned back and relaxed back into the chair. He kept one hand on Tony's arm and his eyes fell close as he relaxed slightly for the first time since he had gotten the call from Tony earlier that day.
When Abby and the others came back to the room, Vitalia pulled away from Abby and went to Gibbs. Without saying anything, she climbed up into his lap and settled down, falling asleep quickly with her head resting on his chest.
Gibbs opened his eyes and stared at Vitalia for a few minutes and then shifted his gaze to the other three. "You guys should head home; come back in the morning."
"No," Abby shook her head and retook her seat, "We're not leaving. We want to be here to watch Tony pull through the night and show the doctors that he's not giving up." She looked at Palmer, then at Tony, "I need to be here; to let him know that I'm sorry; that I didn't mean to make him feel like he wasn't important enough or good enough. I need him to understand."
"It's ok Abby," Gibbs tried to soothe her.
"No it's not," Abby shook her head, "Jimmy was right. We haven't treated Tony fairly a lot of times in the past, and he didn't deserve that."
Gibbs stared at her and after a few minutes, he nodded. "Ok." He turned to the other two, "You're not leaving either, are you?"
Ducky and Palmer said nothing, they only took up their previous seats around the room.
Gibbs could only shake his head and shift his body slightly so that both he and Vitalia would be more comfortable, and then, he slowly fell back asleep, the others following soon after.
That was the scene the doctors and nurses saw every time they looked through Tony's window.
~….~
The next morning
It was his years of military training and as an agent that the sensation of someone else close reached Gibbs deep in his unconsciousness and slowly pulled him to the surface. His eyes opened to slits and he took in the sight of one of the nurses changing Tony's IV bag.
He opened his eyes fully as his gaze shifted from the nurse to Tony. Was it him, or did Tony look a little better.
"Oh!" the nurse jumped slightly when she saw that Gibbs was awake. "I didn't even realize you were up. I'm sorry if I woke you. I tried to be quiet."
"It's ok," Gibbs replied, his voice a little gruff from sleep.
The door opened and Brad stepped in, followed by Dr. Hale. "Gibbs."
"Brad, Dr. Hale," Gibbs nodded to the two men. "What's going on?"
"Well, we have good news," Brad smiled.
"Is Tony ok?" Abby asked; the two men entering the room had woken her, as well as Ducky and Palmer.
"Is everything ok?" Palmer asked, looking between the two doctors.
"Well, we were just about to tell Agent Gibbs the news," Dr. Hale said.
"And what news would that be?" Ducky asked.
"Well obviously Tony pulled through the night," Brad chuckled, "and even better, his vitals are a lot stronger than they were. If they continue getting stronger, we can pull him from the medical induced coma as early as either tonight or tomorrow morning."
Abby almost jumped up from her seat to start dancing, but she remembered herself and settled for grinning widely. She turned to look at Tony, "I knew you'd do it Tony. I knew it!"
"Oh my dear boy," Ducky chuckled softly as he wiped the tears from his cheeks.
Palmer grinned, unable—or unwilling—to say anything but the happiness was shining from his eyes.
Vitalia looked up at Gibbs, "Lui sta bene?" (He ok?)
Gibbs looked at her and nodded, "Si." He looked back at Tony, "Guarira' completamente." (Yes. He's going to be just fine.)
A/N 3: and that's the chapter. The scene with Palmer talking out against Ziva and McGee, I hope it was ok, and also, Gibbs; again, I'm not sure if I'm capturing who Gibbs is and so, there's a possibility—big one—that he's OOC when he's talking to Tony. Anyways, since you're at this point, review so I can know what you thought.
*thanks to who told me this was rule number one, so it's changed now*
Next Update: Friday 5th October, '12.
Kila