It's been about two weeks since the review and we have yet to schedule anymore rehearsals. Right now the boys are working with their band and me and Kendall have been seeing each other every day. He is officially my boyfriend and we are truly in love. I could not be any happier. Tomorrow we start to work with the live band and not the recordings which in my experience can really change a dance and the way dancers are going to respond to the choreography. I am on my way to the guy's house to surprise Kendall with his very own poker set. I grew up playing poker with my dad and my brothers and I tried to teach Kendall once, and he loved it, was a natural gambler. So I saw one that rally shouted him, and I decided to buy it for him. I reach my guys house and see Kendall's and Carlos' cars in the driveway. I knock on the door even though I know it is probably open, and Carlos opens it without a smile. He seems a little sad and I am baffled by his actions. He doesn't give me a bear hug, just gives me a weak smile and says that Kendall is in his room. I smile back at him and walk by him and up the stairs.
Kendall's door is creaked open and I hear him on the phone. He is yelling angrily into the phone: "this is a joke. All this dancing around, is so stupid. The choreography is horrible and none of us can ever do anything with our band if we dance. Melanie Wall is a has been and all the hard work we have been doing is for nothing because dance means nothing!" He say.
I drop the very large box of power chips and it goes down with a crash. I see Kendall jerk and look towards the door. He sees me and runs over to the door, but I am already on my way down the hallway and out the front door, with tears streaming down my face. I am utterly devasted. Kendall calls after me and runs behind me. I get in my car and watch him run down the drive way from my rearview mirror. He stops after he reaches his mailbox and has a sad, crushed look on his face. But I don't care because he might look hurt but inside I feel a lot worse.
The next day I don't show up for rehearsal, and the next day after that I don't either, despite all of the calls and texts from Kendall. On Wednesday, after a million calls from Janet and a billion texts and calls from Kendall again, I finally call Janet back saying that I can't work for Big Time Rush anymore because I am moving back to New York and to just send the check in the mail. Kendall has stopped by my place numerous times and has pleaded and cried through the door, but I refuse to sink back into this place of happiness. sink back into love. I just ignore him. He says many times that he doesn't want me to go to New York and that he will be at the airport everyday just waiting for the day I leave to stop me.
I actually am planning on leaving in about two weeks. I have reached out to my brother Matthew and he told me that the family has missed me so much. He says that he is sorry and wants me to come home. I plan on just going for two weeks, but I can't live in New York ever again. There is just too much pain, but I want to see my family, I want to make amends. And leaving Kendall and Big Time Rush behind is the first step to doing that. Today I am going to visit Stan because he refuses to give up on me, he says he has a new gig for me, but right about now I don't really feel like choreographing or dancing. My bad leg has been acting up on me because I haven't been moving. If I sit still for long periods of time it just aches and it gets to the point where I can't walk. Normally the pain is just a part of my everyday life, etching, choreographing, it is always there. The pain never leaves, but it gets really bad when I am not dancing and staying active. That's why I never stopped, it wasn't just that I loved it, but it really helped me.
As I walk out the door of my apartment building, Kendall jumps up from his spot on the curb. He starts to run after me as I walk fast to my car. "Mel,wait! Let me explain," He shouts after me.
"I've heard all I need to hear, Kendall," I say giving him a wave from behind.
"Mel, wait," he says grabbing my arm and turning me around.
"My name is Melanie!" I shout ripping my arm out of his grip and turning back around. I get in my car and slam the door right on his face. Kendall stands in front of my car and puts his hand on my hood.
"Mel, I mean Melanie, wait it wasn't what you thought," I turn my car on and stare him right in the face.
"Sure, it wasn't. Now get out of my way or I will run you over," I say revving my engine. He gets out the way and walks to my passenger side window.
"Will you let me explain now?" he asks.
"Sure," i say giving him a smile and then driving off before he can even get a word out.