I was looking down at a childhood version of myself. I was dreaming and I knew it of course. Lucid dreaming I think they call it. I often dream of the past since the memories are so easily accessed in my mind. There is rarely a night where I don't have dreams, or in a lot of cases they would be considered nightmares. I remember Brooke telling me how she rarely ever dreams and how much I envied her.
I continued to stare at the younger and more innocent version of myself. I was 8 and it was just a week after the accident. I watched myself play with a puzzle that had been set on the table to keep me busy. I hated puzzles. I thought they were pointless and there was no challenge to putting to pieces together that were already made to fit together. My aunt used to put up to 4 different puzzled together in 1 pile and leave me to sort them out while she worked.
People asked me a lot back then if I was sad about the loss of my parents. I never was. It was hard to be sad about people you can't remember. The saddest part was the fact that I couldn't remember and after a while I stopped trying to. Then again I am not very sad when I am separated from people I know even now. Except for my aunt, Natalie, and Brooke, there were few people I emotionally connected with. It is hard to connect with people who you know that you will forever remember but they will eventually forget.
I then watched myself turn my head towards the hall where the sound of a young lady calls my name. I saw my aunt walk in the room looking extremely young yet wearing an outfit that I swear she still has. She was only 23 when she adopted me. I remember that it was 2 weeks later that she would hire a nanny to take care of me. That nanny would only last a year though before getting fired and replaced by the nanny I had till middle school.
I watched the conversation unfold as she greeted me and asked how I was feeling. I gave short responses and avoided most of the questions flung at me. Then she started to complain about her day.
"Those old men at the meeting kept going on and on. They kept talking about all this legal stuff and how I am not fit to be a guardian. They just don't realize that I am probably the only one in the world that can take care of you." She complained while packing the remainder of her stuff.
Those were the days when my aunt actually wanted to be my guardian. There would be many times down the road where she would wish she had let them take me to an orphanage but for the most part she still is very protective of me.
"They kept giving excuses like how it would affect my studies at college and my ability to find a husband. Don't they know that old saying?" she continued.
She looked down at me and I looked confused. I didn't know what saying she was talking about because she wouldn't finish her sentences. She finished packing her bag, threw it over her shoulder, grabbed my hand and walked out the door. I was forced to leave my puzzle lying unfinished on the table. We walked past the giant sign that read BRANIN LAW OFFICES and towards the car.
My aunt finally decided to end with her closing statement as we pushed open the front door.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." She said assertively.
I looked up at her confused once again. I think that was a moment in my life where I thought to myself that I would never be truly happy. Why? Well it involved the thought process of a child. If all life gives you is lemons then my life would suck because I don't like lemonade or anything with lemons in it for that matter. So I came to that dreary conclusion. Now I know it is just a saying but I still don't like lemons.
I looked into the eyes of the younger me as I pondered the meaning of life to an 8-year-old and I remembered the thought process going on in my head. Then I heard someone say, "Annette!"
I looked back towards mini me and found myself still starting at the pathway. I then herd it again but I recognized it to be not from anyone in my dream.
"Annette! Wake up!"
I recognized the voice at Natalie's and I wondered for a second what she was doing in my room at 7 in the morning.
I slowly opened my eyes and was blinded by the light.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
My eyes adjusted and I realized that I definitely wasn't in my room.
"Huh?" I simply said.
"You fainted remember?" Brooke said gently.
I turned to look at her and found a group of slightly familiar boys behind her.
"Huh?" I just said again. Before anyone else could say anything though the memories came flooding back like they always do and I remembered what I was in the middle of.
"Oh right." I said while trying to stand myself up and ignore the embarrassing situation of having everyone's attention on me. A large hand grabbed just above my elbows and helped pull me up. I looked up towards the person and found it to be the tallest of the group with short black hair. I whispered my thanks and took a step back from the crowd.
"So where were we?" I said trying to keep a normal expression on instead of a confused or worried one.
"Well we were at the part where you fainted for no apparent reason." Natalie said sounding slightly angry out of concern for me.
"Well there is a reason; it's just not a very reasonable one." I said slyly avoiding the question. She rolled her eyes and let it drop.
"Sorry about that," I said turning my attention back on the guys. "Sorry about this whole thing actually. You guys probably don't have anything to do with this and we were just jumping to conclusions. We will stop inconveniencing you."
I saw the shocked and confused look in Natalie and Brooke's faces but thankfully they didn't say anything. I just felt like getting out of there and going home despite the fact that my curiosity was tingling. I admit that their faces and their named seemed slightly familiar, like déjà vu.
We turned to leave but I felt someone grab my arm. I turned back and found it to be one of the red headed twins.
"What if we do know you?" he asked. I saw an look cross his eyes that I was unfamiliar with and I just froze.
The other twin appeared next to him and glared at the other twin.
"But we don't." the new arrival said warningly to his twin.
The one who grabbed my arm released his grip and looked down so I couldn't see his face. The other twin also looked away.
I recalled the one who first grabbed me being named Kaoru and the other was Hikaru. My eyes scanned over everyone else in the room. The atmosphere was tense to say the least.
After about a few minutes of dead silence I decided to get this over with. I wanted the truth, even if it was something I didn't want to hear.
"All right, so I know that you guys know me already." I said while looking over everyone in the room and noticed a few with some guilty looking expressions on. "Now I know this might be awkward but someone better start explaining what happened. Now."
Within 5 minutes we had all settled around the couches and we were staring at each other expectantly. Natalie had specifically sat next to Tamaki since I know she is obsessed with marrying a French boy. She was probably the only person in the room who doesn't feel awkward right now. Brooke sat next to me and she had one of her hands resting on my shoulder for emotional support.
After a few seconds of more awkward silence I decided to make the first move. "Alright so how did I first meet you guys?"
"Well you met me first so I can answer that question." Haruhi said.
"We shop at the same grocery store don't we?" I asked, but it came out more like a statement. I started to piece a little bit of the puzzle together using the information I already had.
"Yea. That's how we met actually." She explained. "I was sort of having a bad day and we started talking. I ended up accidentally telling you about how I had to pretend to be a boy at school and a bit about the Host Club."
"Wait!" Brooke exclaimed, looking shocked. "You're a girl!"
The rest of the Host Club looked ready to pounce but Haruhi just shrugged and nodded.
"No shit, Sherlock." Natalie said to Brooke. "No boy, or at least straight boy in a Host Club, would look so feminine and have fruit smelling shampoo."
"Huh?" I asked Natalie, a bit confused about the shampoo part.
"Sorry I sort of smelled your hair earlier." Natalie admitted to Haruhi. I should have suspected that knowing how Natalie had less boundaries than most people I knew.
Haruhi just raised an eyebrow and looked at Natalie who just shrugged like it was no big deal and they dropped it.
"I want to smell my daughter's fruity hair!" Tamaki wined.
Haruhi shot him a death glare and the rest of the Host Club just shook their heads in exasperation.
"Anyways, when we were talking I also mentioned why I was in such a bad mood and you volunteered to help. That's what led you into meeting the rest of the club." Haruhi continued with her story.
Alright now I knew how I met one of the 7 people in this room. Now I just had to hear how I met the other six and why everyone is acting so weird around me. Maybe then I could fix it, if I still wanted to at least. Why is it so hard not being able to remember something when I spent almost my whole life wishing I could just forget even a second of my memory!