I have seen many men die. I have seen the gruesome and bloody appendages thrown and left scattered in the streets laying in their own pools of blood. To say that I was immune to these sights was a lie, but I never let it effect me. Bruce and I had seen a great many things that no human should see let alone have to live with. But, seeing a man shot point blank and then have his dead body land on me was something I had never seen before. The white jelly that was once his brain hit the floor next to me and I instinctively started dry heaving.
"Dick?" Jason sat up, against the wall, clutching his bleeding stomach. "Are you okay?"
I threw the body to my side with disgust and horror. Looking at him, I didn't see my brother, or even a friend. I saw a man with a smoking gun with no remorse. I turned my head and vomited the empty breakfast I had.
"Fine." I muttered standing up. "Get back to the bed. You need to be stitched up." I hesitantly walked to him with wobbly legs.
"Come here." He beckoned me with a finger to the ground where he sat. He saw the fear in my eyes that I was desperately trying to hide. "It's okay." He tossed the gun from his hand and into the other room with the body. I crouched down and sat against the opposite wall.
"Look at me." He said. My eyes met his and I knew he say my fear, the trauma.
"You need stitches." I choked out, looking deep into his icy blue eyes.
"I know how to care for myself Dick." No jokes now, he was all business. "You go take a shower and pack, more will come later."
I nodded. For once, I let him control me. I needed it. Images were playing in my head over and over that I didn't want to see. Blood and gore that threatened to rip apart my carefully constructed sanity. I methodically left him on the ground and walked to the bathroom.
I was a sight to see. My domino was torn and my hair was everywhere. The right side of my head was covered with sticky blood, I didn't know whose. But it covered practically my whole face. My costume was torn and covered in the warm, wet blood. I couldn't cry, not now. The image was too fresh. I tore off the costume, threw it in the toilet and flushed.
I stood under the scalding water praying for a reprieve from the memories that came flooding back. All of the bodies, all of the blood, all of the pain. I could feel myself losing it. I fell against the back of the wall and slid down, letting the water hit my face. I watched the blood swirl down the drain under my legs.
I sat there in a trance until Jason walked in about an hour later.
"Dick, we've got to hurry. We don't have-" He cut off when he saw me crouched in the corner of the tub. If I had been aware of anything, I would have been more embarrassed of him seeing me so weak then seeing me naked.
He picked me up, being a few inches taller anyway, and carried me to my bedroom. He placed me gingerly on the bed as I shivered.
I knew I should help him get the clothes out and hurrying to get everything ready to leave, but I couldn't move. I let him grab his jacket and cover my huddled figure with it before he turned to the closet and started throwing things into an open duffel on the floor. He grabbed my spare costume and domino from the top shelf and shoved it in with three pairs of jeans, a few sweaters, and a few pairs of underwear that he pulled out while rummaging through my drawers for.
I sat up and pulled his jacket closer around me. It smelled good, like Bruce. It smelled like leather and a thick woody must. I looked up a him.
"Here." He threw a few articles of clothing in my direction, "Can you dress yourself?" I nodded.
He gave me a sad look before exiting my room and shutting the door. I inhaled his musky scent before pushing it off my shoulders and pulling on the boxers and jeans that he had put near me. I grabbed the nearest T-shirt and sweater from my closet before throwing a few personal things into the duffel. In my bed stand was my wallet and a few batarangs. I figured I had everything after pulling a wad of hundreds from under my mattress Bruce had given me in case I ever "ran into trouble". It would take a few hours to get to Gotham anyway. I zipped up the duffel and threw it on my shoulder. On second thought, I grabbed the jacket and threw it over the bag.
I threw on some socks and sneakers before joining Jason in the hallway. He was standing at the end of the hall, looking at the body. He had covered it up with a blanket from the couch, respectively.
I walked past him, into the kitchen, trying not to look at the lump under the blanket. I grabbed my cigarettes, my phone, charging on the counter, and a few more wads of twenties inside and old cookbook.
"Let's go." I took one last look at my little home before following Jason out the door and into the unknown.
"Fine, don't listen to me! But when we get lost don't blame me!" Jason bitched as I swerved into the left hand lane.
"I think I know how to get there." I muttered back to him, keeping an angry glare to the traffic before me.
"Sure Dickie-Bird. And when Bruce yells at me for failing again, I will happily tell him that this is your fault!" He huffed and folded his arms while pulling a cigarette out from his jacket pocket.
"Hey! No smoking in my car!" He glared at me before rolling the window down and letting the icy chill blow inside. He ducked his head down and lit it, casting a luminescent glow on his face and long hair that fell forward. He was handsome.
Woa, where did that come from? I had never found any man handsome, let alone Jason. He was supposed to be my bitter enemy. He was supposed to be my replacement. My brother.
There it was again! Where had these fond feelings for him come from? I'd never had any feelings toward him, maybe respect. But not much besides that and the sympathy when he died and rose again.
"You want one?" He asked out the one side of his mouth while the other side balanced the cigarette expertly in his lips.
"Sure." I pulled one from the pack and rooted through the center console before finding a lighter. I was always loosing them, so I kept like five, in the car.
"Didn't know you smoked." He inhaled and expertly blew the smoke out through the window. "Goody goody Golden Boy breaks the rules. Does Brucie know?"
"Don't think he rightly cares." I muttered while holding it to my lips and taking a long drag.
"I thought you were supposed to be the good Bruce replacement." He muttered, looking ahead to the traffic.
"Bruce and I are similar." I exhaled the smoke out my open window. "But we are different people."
"But you are so upbeat and…optimistic!" He said tauntingly.
"Mhmm, maybe that's what I want you to see." I took another drag, not wanting to open up to Jason of all people.
"Oh, so maybe Dickie-bird has some sadness in that heart?" He looked over at me before taking another hit. "'Bout time."
I looked over at him, while blowing smoke in his face.
"Asshole." I muttered loud enough for him to laugh and throw an arm around me.
"You love me, admit it."