Last night we were alone. I wasn't that loud and we were in a completely different house. This morning we were alone. His tongue felt so good I couldn't help it. I left him and the door… the door was open. The face of my upset blonde-haired brother is the last piece. He didn't need to talk about his relationship. He needed to talk about mine.
It all fits. Finn wasn't careless. I was. My brother knows and one of us is going to die before I let him tell anyone else.
The world could have imploded in the time it took me to take another breath. Finn's hand on my knee brings me back to life. I clasp onto his hand with more force than I intend to. "We have to stop him."
He shapes his voice to sound as comforting as possible just like the time my pet rabbit died and my father had to break the news to me. "I'm pretty sure it's too late for that. He took off pretty suddenly with Janaya. It's only a matter of time before he tells her and…"
I bolt to the door before Finn can say another word. Barefooted I sprint to Haymitch's house and let myself in. The one person I could have cared less if I ever saw is the only one sitting in the living room. "Well if isn't Miss I'd rather hide in a bathroom then show a little respect for my brother on one of the most important days of his life."
Respect. How I would love to make this his last day. But I won't let him distract me from my true purpose. "Where are my parents? Was Rowan here?"
He takes his precious time drinking a clear liquid from a clear glass before he answers annihilating the smallest amount of hope I was still counting on. "Left a few minutes ago. He got them all in huff and they all rushed out of here like their house was on fire."
My shoulders drag me down into the nearest chair. How could he do this to me? Why didn't he just take the time to talk to me? Soon the whole world will know. There is only option left for me. I can deny it. His word against mine. Finn will take my side. Maybe.
"Need a drink?"
"I need more than a drink. Going back in time for starters."
He lips curl into a knowing smile. "Before the happy couple made their announcement?"
I bury my hands into my head. "No, you wouldn't understand."
He mocks astonishment. "Something's got you in a panic more than that? If I can guess do I win a prize?"
I glare at him through my dark hair hanging over my eyes. My life is over and all he can do is rub salt in my wounds.
"Let me see…you're secretly in love Janaya…no. She's too nice for you. You've decided to give up being a healer and star in a TV show…nah. Besides your stage fright you can't even sing, you'd get slaughtered in the ratings. Hmm…" He scratches his chin as his brain ponders the next most ridiculous explanation. I'd take any idea he could come up with over the truth.
With one finger in the air he grins and utters the last thing I would have expected. "You've got your own secret lover boy and are too much of a coward to admit it. Am I getting close?"
My jaw goes slack at how he's just grazed the truth with his guess. He laughs smugly. "What about this one? You met him Four, changed his life, let him follow you like a puppy dog every where you go…even here…but now that there's an upcoming union in your family the pressure is getting to you. You want to back out of it and just don't know how to let him down gently? Anything there ring a bell sweetheart?"
All the blood has now drained from my face. Somehow the most oblivious person I know has come up with the most plausible observation. "I…I don't know what you're implying Haymitch but-"
"Bah, I saw him sneak him into the guest house last night. Then the pair of you come out this morning from the same house. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what he was doing there." I cover my mouth to hold back the nausea that is practically like second nature to me today. This one is all on Finn. I really blame him for both. If he could just keep his hands…and tongue…to himself no one would have any inclination of our relationship.
Why did I ever agree to let him come with me? Why didn't I kick him out last night? The real question is why am I still sitting here without any dramatics going on around me? "Do they know?" I whisper.
He swats away my question like a bothersome fly. "Clueless as ever. Don't worry, I'll keep your tryst a secret. Just don't come crying to me when you break his heart."
This isn't some tryst. Finn and I are in a committed relationship. Sure there seems to be a select few I would like to do away with whom now have wind there is even something going on, but it's committed nonetheless. Wait…why would I break his heart? He's the womanizer. "Why are you assuming I'm the one who would break his heart?" Rowan at least seemed to have a better grasp on who the heartbreaker is.
"I've known that boy longer than you. He knows the pain his mother is in everyday…losing her one and only love. You think you're the only one who tried to avoid falling in love? Those women were just distractions to keep from finding something real. You and your mother. Always find a man who would give everything including his life for you. I knew something happened when you went there. Never crossed my mind he'd actually fallen for you until I saw the stupid grin on his face when you walked in the kitchen."
I rest my head between my knees to brace myself for the next wave of queasiness. Haymitch does deserve a prize for illustrating what I try to avoid on a daily basis. Finn loves me more than I deserve and what do I do to show it? Dig a fifty foot cave underground to hide what he desperately wants to shout from the rooftops.
"Please take my advice sweetheart. Tell him sooner rather than later so he can at least get on with the few years he has left to find someone who will love him back."
This Haymitch has all wrong. My head rises up as I struggle not to spit out the words Finn deserves. I do. I love him. I'm his someone and he's mine. "It's not that. It's that…you know. Rowan knows. By now my parents know. I didn't want them to find out like this…"
He laughs once. "They don't know nothing. Rowan took them to pick up Janaya's family at the station. It was another surprise and they were late."
One tiny sparkle of hope dances in my heart. "But you said you didn't know what they were in a huff about?"
"No I didn't. I just didn't tell you what they were in a huff about. One is a lie. One is leaving out the truth." Like not telling my parents about Finn. Just leaving out the truth. Not lying. It's not like they've asked me if I'm seeing Finn or not. I'm starting to like the way Haymitch thinks.
I run back to my parents' house for my shoes and to let Finn know the good news. Our secret is safe with Haymitch and I still have a chance to put things right.