"Aw, honey, you made dinner." My shoulders tense up and I feel the blood race to my cheeks as Finn wraps one arm around me. My mother laughs and turns around to inspect the ovens.
I attempt to shrug off his arm to no avail. He deadens his weight on me and says, "Have I told you how much your daughter means to me Katniss?" My mind is racing. This is not part of the plan. I'm not ready. But Finn has made it impossible for me to run now.
I barely notice the flash of light coming from the entrance way to the kitchen. I am rather preoccupied on how I can possibly survive Finn's badly timed statement and what his next move will be. Did he honestly think I would go along with telling her like this? Rowan must have persuaded him to forgo considering my feelings and just get it over with. The next second I see that little-
Another flash of light jerks my mother's attention away from us and dinner. "Rowan, put the camera away. Dinner is not a moment we're going to be desperate to relive in ten years."
"Mom, I'm engaged. I want to remember everything about this day. And I have a quota to fill for Janaya. Smile sis." I can see the picture now. My mother's famous scowl that I inherited and Finn's winning smile he inherited from his father are forever implanted side-by-side on film.
Finn's proclamation is seemingly forgotten as she turns back to tend to dinner. "What a grand idea." I hear my mother sarcastically mutter in the background and I couldn't agree more.
I planned to stay as far away from Finn for the rest of dinner to prevent anymore impromptu pictures. As far as I'm concerned one is too many. The plans changed when my parents insisted I sit beside Finn in order to protect him from the advances of Janaya's sisters. After his little stunt I'd rather feed him naked to those she-wolves.
I cornered him afterwards and demanded what the meaning of that was. I wasn't going to dive into the whole story. But don't you think we should start showing an interest in each other so this doesn't seem like a shock when we do tell them? I knew it was Rowan's idea the second he said it. So I confronted him next. Hey, I'm on your side now. I'm rooting for you two but you can't just lay something this profound on mom without letting her have an inkling it was bound to happen. I only had a few minutes to protest. Despite my efforts Finn plans to go through with it all night and Rowan's going to be there to immortalize every excruciating moment.
The table before us is a splendid display of the Mellark's finest dining set. This is an occasion to celebrate and my parents have set up the perfect celebratory feast.
My parents sit on either end of our immaculate dining table. I am sandwiched in between Finn and Janaya's parents. Rowan has the best view to capture my misery from across the table sitting next to Janaya and her sisters. Haymitch…well I may have had him crossed off the guest list for this meal. Having to bear the well-intentioned anguish from Finn and Rowan tonight will bring me close enough to the edge without Haymitch jumping on their bandwagon.
We toast to the lucky couple and the Torturing Violet in the Name of Love Game begins.
At first the conversation runs around cute anecdotes of Rowan and Janaya's relationship. His annoying habits, how her parents adored him from the first time Janaya brought him home, how he proposed, etc. Drooling over every detail wasn't high on my priority list. Downing my dinner as quickly as possible without choking and keeping track of every word out of Finn's mouth kept me otherwise occupied. He can say nice things about me. That I'll allow. But if he alludes to anything that could even resemble the fact that he and I are lovers I'll have to be prepared with my own rebuttal.
"Tea?" He practically whispers it so I doubt anyone else heard. "You're looking a little tense. It's not going to be as awful as you think." I eye him suspiciously. Is it going to be worse? "It's chamomile. You always say it helps you at home."
"Fine." I drink it every time he brings up certain subjects. Sometimes I can predict how our evening is going to go when I smell it brewing in the kitchen.
He pours it for me and gives me a crooked smile as I take it. Flash. "Just had to get one more picture of Finn for the engagement book." I'm sure he did. Seems to me that's the only picture he took of his engagement dinner since we toasted to them.
"Oooh, I'd like a picture with Finn." Willow pipes up.
"That's wonderful idea. Would you like to switch-"
"There will be time for pictures after dinner. Rowan, where are your manners? We're at dinner, not a news conference." This is as firm as my father gets but it's enough to get Rowan to put down the camera. Advantage Violet. Now I won't have to put up with picture after picture of a scraggly haired me attempting not to scowl with a gorgeously tanned Finn working overtime on his heart-melting smile aimed at me.
Rowan takes a sip from his wine glass and nonchalantly clears his throat. "So, Finn, I see you're still alive. You and Violet seem to be getting along well enough that she hasn't tried to poison you."
How dare he bring that up? I was seven and he was a brat and it was more of an experiment than anything. And he's still breathing I might add though now that I think of it I could turn the tables on them. No, calm down Violet. This is just a part of their plan. However deluded it is. Who starts a compliment with applauding how I haven't killed someone yet?
"Quite well. As far as I know I haven't been poisoned. I've been working hard to be on my best behavior." Except for tonight. I don't have to poison Finn per say when we get back but it wouldn't be a horrible idea to really show him how much I know about herbs. No, stop it. Drink your tea and stop thinking deadly thoughts.
"We actually eat most meals together. Take turns cooking, that sort of thing. Violet's sort of helped me see the perks of living a grown up life." In what seems to be an attempt to reassure me he brushes his hand against mine...which are clasped in a death grip under the table. This is how I plan to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the evening. I may have no feeling in my hands by the end but it will be worth it if all my parents grasp is that Finn and I are good friends now.
"Weren't you saying earlier you were thinking of settling down? Janaya and I were both excited when you mentioned-"
"Well some habits are harder than others to break. It was really just a passing thought. Some of us are just meant to be bachelors." I unclench my jaw out of surprise which I didn't realize I was clenching. He's backtracking, fabricating his earlier conversation with Finn completely disregarding the irritation growing on my brother's face.
Now the discussion turns into It's ok, Finn. There's someone for everyone. And so on and so on. He soaks in the attention from every member of the table and plays the poor soul who has accepted the fact that no one will ever love him. No one even mentions my name again until dessert is passed out.
My father has made an exquisite cake with pink and white flowers lining the edges. Congratulations Rowan and Janaya is iced in perfect handwriting in the center. It's chocolate, Janaya's favorite. Rather than accept a piece I tell the truth, I'm not felling well and excuse myself to make more tea.
Before I can even fill the kettle Finn has followed me into the kitchen. He's holding an empty plate. He must have eaten it in two bites. Desserts are rare for us in four. Neither of us can bake and we usually end up just wanting each other for dessert.
"Are you ok?" He says in a hushed voiced.
"Fine. Why? Is there some reason you think I shouldn't be?" My voice is more biting than I want but I can't hold back anymore.
"Violet…I didn't go through with it. I had them all eating out of my hands. They think I'm still the same old Finn with the same old girl problems. They suspect nothing."
I heard every word, every sympathetic gesture. My mother patting him on the back. My father telling him to visit more. The she-wolves salivating at the idea they could have a chance with him no matter how fleeting. And he thinks that's what I wanted. No, he knows that's what I wanted. So why can't I shake this feeling like I'm poisoning my own relationship with Finn? He's actually doing what I've asked of him all along. Lying to protect what we have.
I peek over his should at the doorway. "We're leaving in the morning, right? Then it will be just you and me?"
He takes a step closer and lowers his voice. "When will you ever learn Mellark? There is no escaping me."
Against my better judgment I jump into his surprised arms. He nearly drops the plate but manages to keep his grip on it and wrap his arms around me just as tightly as I have mine wrapped around him. "I can't promise we won't have two unexpected guests though. I mean what can I say? Women love me."
I choke back a laugh. He picked up on it again. I'm over thinking everything. I need him to bring me back down to a sane level every time. I can't imagine I'll ever stop needing him. His calming demeanor, his sweet scent of the ocean, his unwavering patience, his warmth and love he saves only for me.
"Just remember I love you more."