I was running for Lilith knows how long until my legs ached and my lungs screamed for my to stop.

But I still kept running, pushing my legs to limit. I was scared. It felt like all my veins were filled with panic and fear – fear of something I didn't know. Fear of finding something I didn't know either.

I run until I have to stop and take deep breaths – I feel like my heart might burst out or stop between them two. I feel myself shaking. It feels like my heart beats faster one moment and painfully slow next.

I feel my knees buckle and I let myself slide down wall I was leaning against just a moment ago. I don't know where I am or what I am doing – everything is so confusing. I just lie on cold ground and try to get air back in my abused lungs I feel like I am underwater it is so hard to breath...

My entire core feels like it might collapse. I am shaking that badly even my teeth are chattering. I know I need to calm down – I still can feel blue flames bursting out of my fingers.

I feel like I am set on fire – but next moment I am so cold. I cant get air – every single gulp I try to inhale just makes me gag I cant get my breath back – I feel like I have ran miles and miles in hot sun. But I am so scared – something inside of my tells me not to panic tells me I still need to see someone – it feels like my heart is aching towards something I don't know. I don't know what to do. I try to pry my eye open, but dizziness hits me like train and I feel world spinning even when I am lying on cold ground. I try to choke out someone to help, but I stop before anyone notices me – I still cant get my magic under control. It feels like every single second it is getting even more and more wider. Like beast is slowly getting out of his shelf. I lift my arms as much I can and hold them close against my own chest – like I am trying to make blue flames disappear in my like they should.

But it feels like they are even getting stronger. I never notice tears running down my cheeks. I cant stand up I cant shout or scream it is like someone is choking my – my chest hurts so much.

I pry my eyes open once again and I am hit again with dizziness, but I still try to keep them open. I try to see if anyone is coming this way – so I could warm them or do something. Anything. But it is only empty street and cold wind blowing in my face – numbing my cheeks. I want to scream for Tessa I know she would know what to do – I am so scared. My mind is numb I blind rapidly and see black spots appear in my vision. I am still holding my hands close to my chest, but I feel like I cant hold them any longer – I suddenly feel so tired like I just want to close my eyes and slip away.

I don't care any more about people saying blue flames dancing around me. I don t any longer pain in my chest. I feel so numb... I can feel myself slipping, I close my eyes – I can taste sore metallic taste on my tongue like I have bitten it... maybe I have?

I don't know...

I cant feel anything – only hear my own heart beats and they are starting to sound so silent to me. I can feel it getting slower and slower, but I don't feel any pain... I cant think of anything.. My mind is so numb – I cant feel coldness I felt or this burning feeling.

It feels like my heart is beating last beats – still trying to pump blood around my body.

I wonder how I look outside... Probably like homeless person – person who was set on fire. But it feels numb my mind cant proceed things like mundanes can see you – they can see flames...

I don't care. I just want to slip away.

But suddenly I feel like electricity flows in every single part of my body and I am jolted awake. My eyes pop open, I feel my head is above ground, but as soon I feel this sensation in my it rushes away. My mind goes blank once again and I feel my head hitting ground with loud "thumb" , but before I slip away I see him... I know I need him. I open my mouth and scream in cold night his name.

"Magnus!"

And everything fades away...