I ran down street while mundanes shouted at my because I knocked some of them down – if they did move out of my way. How could this Ash person let a warlock that is going out of control leave – let alone a young warlock, who just barely received his immortality.

I was frustrated and pissed off – which was something I did not like. How could this creature or whatever this Ash person was let Gideon go when that poor kid probably was in panic with everything inside of him.

Magnus knew how it felt being out of control. It was like burning and at same time drowning. The more you tried to calm down as it seemed the more you actually would go out of control. But scariest and most worst point was if in the end you could not control your power – you would die. All magic inside you would burst out of you while taking also soul of that person – the more magic faded away – soul faded away until nothing but body is left.

Magnus was scared for some unknown reason. He never realized... next thought made him stop in his wild run – almost knocking out some stupid mundanes once again. Words Ash told him made his insides twist into unpleasant worry and panic. It was name... God no.. Name. It was same name as Alec's middle name. No, no no! Magnus spent all day trying not to think about his Angel with baby blue eyes. NO! He felt his eyes start to burn. It was only damn name! Name not his angel! Magnus wanted to slap himself. Dammit! Alec My heart was taken by you... broken by you... and now it is in pieces because of you! Frustrated tears started to fall his cheeks hundredth time in this week. Magnus grunted his teeth and angrily shakes his head while tears are still falling down his cheeks making him remember what he tried to forget for so long – forget and keep waiting for his Alec to return... Even when it felt like it would never happen and his spell which stopped Izzy, Jace and Clary age for 20 years would go waste and they would age rapidly in one week – while they would have wasted 20 years of their life.

Magnus knew only 2 years were left... where Jace would wake up next day looking around 35 same went for others. Magnus was still standing in shock and frustrated tears still running his make up free cheeks. But Magnus heard scream – scream that made him remember voice he missed so much – longed so much.

It was him! It was his angel screaming his name in cold night – without thinking Magnus ran towards voice he missed so much. He wanted to scream out his lovers name, but it was like someone had taken away his voice, only whisper came out.

Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet.

Magnus ran for God knows how long – pushing everyone out of his way. Not listening to curses that were sent in his directions. All he could think was about holding his angel again close to his chest. Begging for forgiveness. For leaving him alone in tunnel. For letting him get hurt. Magnus kept running. Only trail of tears left in wind behind him.. Magnus remembers his mistake... He asked himself so many times this question "why did I broke up with him? Because of Camille? Was it really because of that? Or it was because of something else? Like puzzle... was it like everything they had was broken and lying on floor waiting for it to be put back together, but none of the pieces fit together... even when they tried really hard, the pieces, well they were two different puzzles maybe that's why?" Magnus now knew they both had problems to be fixed, but he missed his angel so much. All small things like driving with his hand resting on my knee and the way they would always share this big goocey ice cream and Chairman Meow would give them death glare. But Magnus especially missed the nights when his angel was all around him, the taste, and the scent and the feel of him. Magnus missed how he would fall asleep in his angels arms, with sound of his heartbeat being the last thing before he would fall asleep with knowing that his angel would be there beside him in the morning.

So Magnus pushed all questions and what if away – he just started to run faster.

He rounded corner and felt something – before he even saw. Magic. Like his – it was everywhere all around him. In air. In plants. It was incredible feeling it made him forget about what hurt him most. But only for second. Then he was jolted awake from it. He saw figure lying on ground not moving. Not moving – like it was before... Panic and fear almost knocked Magnus over. His mind kept showing him images of night – night that made is life into nightmare without a way out.

He walked in slow walk like a zombie towards figure – he was scared to face and know he was to late. Once again.

His knees felt like they could buckle, so Magnus crouched beside not moving figure. He never saw it was not his angel – Magnus thought it was him. Same pale skin – raven black hair. Same cheekbones – same straight nose. He never noticed small differences. His tears were making him see blurry. Like he was under water.

Magnus slowly lifted the boy he thought was his angel and held him close in tight embrace.

He felt like everything finally was fine. Like he finally found his angel his meaning in life once again. He never noticed that it was not same person.. in a way.

He slowly kissed pale cheeks – brushing away tears with his thumb. Tears that were his own.

Tears of sorrow. Tears of hope.

Magnus felt boy in his arms stir and he felt like his hear might burst he wanted so much to see his angel blue eyes – eyes he longed so long.

Magnus gently lifted boys face upwards and kissed his pale lips.

Then cupped pale cheek and brushed tears away softly with his thumb.

Tears he could not stop falling. Magnus felt like part of his heart was returning to him – like part of his soul was coming back to him...

Just to be crushed away, but he did not know that yet. His angel slowly opened his eyes. Baby blue met his green golden ones – it felt like hope was building in him. Creating bridge between him and his angel. Magnus wanted to see both baby blues eyes so he gently moved away hair that hid right eye.

Eye that shattered his hope once again.

He was met with baby blue eye, but it was not his angels eye it was same eye as he carried – with cat slit pupil even when it was same shade blue... Magnus heard voice even when it was similar to one he longed it was not the same..

"Please...Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars..."

Magnus felt like remains of his heart were ripped apart into pieces he could never find again. He didn't notice how he dropped boy to the ground – how he stood up and backed away like it was poison... Magnus felt his entire core shaking. He never noticed how confused and broken boy looked while trying to stand up, but his legs being to weak only dragged him down...once again, Magnus never noticed how boy wanted to say something, but it seemed like his voice was somewhere else, not with him.

Magnus only saw his angel there where this boy was – Magnus tried to reach to him with hope but it shattered once again. Leaving him hollow, empty, devastated and lonely like never before. Magnus felt like it was that horrible night like before...

But Magnus noticed how boy slowly scrambled to his feet – even when it was wobbly and weak. Magnus noticed how boy reached his hand towards him – while having tears in his two different eyes. Eye that were meant to be his angel and eye that meant it was only a dream – only a dream... that broke Magnus even more. Magnus flinched and slapped boys hand away like it was poison.

Still with tears running down his cheeks and crashing into cold ground.

Like hope crashing all around him, Magnus turned around and ran as fast as he could. Even when tears in his eyes were making it hard to see – Magnus kept running. He never noticed boy shouting his name.

He never noticed how boy once again fell down to the ground and stayed there – while tears running down his pale cheeks, that were so much similar to his angels.

Magnus never saw heart broken look on boys face.

He never did...

Magnus never saw recognition in boys face – never saw stormed blue eyes that were filled with emotions and feelings Magnus knew so deep, and longed for so long.

Magnus never knew he was so near his angel once again.

He never noticed how close he was to his love again. He never saw how heartbroken his loves face was – with emotions pouring down his pale cheeks. Crashing into ground where he hugged his knees close to his chest and sobbed his broken heart.

Magnus never did. He kept running... Running more and more away from his love he longed for so long, and pushed away just couple minutes ago.

Magnus never saw how his love tried to stand up , but crashed down to ground. This time without moving...

He never did.

Magnus was so close to his angel – but he pushed him away...

Without knowing what it might bring...

And what it took away...

He kept running with tragic trail of tears behind him the cold wind...

DEAD. FLops down to bed. This chapter made my stay awake till 01:22 because icould not stop until i wrote all feelings and ideas down.. so yea i am screwed tomorrow in lectures but ! i hope you guys like this chapter.

Sorry about previous two chapters T_T