I can't run anymore,
I fall before you,
Here I am,
I have nothing left,
Though I've tried to forget,
You're all that I am,
Take me home,
I'm through fighting it,
Broken,
Lifeless,
I give up,
You're my only strength,
Without you,
I can't go on,
Anymore,
Ever again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
I can't run anymore,
I give myself to you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
In all my bitterness,
I ignored,
All that's real and true,
All I need is you,
When night falls on me,
I'll not close my eyes,
I'm too alive,
And you're too strong,
I can't lie anymore,
I fall down before you,
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
Constantly ignoring,
The pain consuming me,
But this time it's cut too deep,
I'll never stray again.
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love,
My only hope,
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace,
(To walk away from you)
My only joy,
My only strength,
(I fall into your abounding grace)
My only power,
My only life,
(And love is where I am)
My only love.
-October by Evanescence
Kanone rose out of bed, memories of that night came flooding back to him. In the end it had went badly. He couldn't keep his mouth shut, and now Ayame was probably out of his life for good. That's what he wanted though, right? Right now nothing made sense to him it was too early in the mourning for him to think about such things. After getting dressed he headed down into his kitchen and got something to eat. Jade, his big fluffy Himalayan cat rubbed up against his leg to get his attention and stared to his gold eyes with her pure green ones. Kanone knew what she wanted, she wanted Ayame. Jade had grown quite fond of Ayame and vice versa.
"She's not coming back." Kanone said.
The cat looked at him a bit longer then gave up and left presumably to find a place to take a nap. Grabbing his coat Kanone went out the door to try and get the events of that night out of his mind.
Ayame looked out the window watching the clouds pass by. She would occasionally pick one out and try to make out its shape. She had been doing this since the sun had come out. Why couldn't he have just stayed quiet? What's the big deal about me being near him? Ayame thought. Looking at the clock she realized she had to get ready for school. With a sigh she got up and started getting ready for school.
After she threw her shoes on she grabbed her coat and went out the door. Ayame stopped dead in her tracks and turned the other way. She was going to do what he wanted her to do, stay away from him. So that also meant she shouldn't go near his house, right? The detour she took would make it where she would be a bit early than usual, but that didn't bug her. It took about five minutes to get into town and meet up with her friend Mitsuki. Mitsuki was about an inch taller than Ayame. She had white hair that framed her face and light blue eyes.
"Hey how you've been?" She asked cheerfully.
"Good I guess." Ayame mumbled.
Mitsuki Watched Ayame closely, she was anything but good. She looked like a mess, a big one. It had been a long time since she seen Ayame in her old disposition. Last year was when she no longer had the gloomy air around her.
"Is something wrong Ayame?" Mitsuki asked.
"No…nothing wrong…I'm just tired." Ayame said.
Ayame technically wasn't lying she was tired. She was tired of being lied to and having secrets kept from her. It was obvious that after that night there was something that Kanone was hiding from her and had probably been hiding ever since they met. Whatever it was it seemed to make Kanone think that Ayame would be in terrible danger if she knew the truth. Before Mitsuki could ask or say anything else they heard the bell ring from across the street, making Ayame run across the street. While doing so she bumped into someone and quickly apologized and made her way into the building leaving Mitsuki behind.
Kanone had been walking around town for most of the day deep in thought not knowing where his subconscious was taking him. The moment he realized where he was at, he cussed under his breath. He had betrayed his self. It was the very place where was standing that he had met Ayame, and come to think of it, it was on this very day a year ago that he had met her.
"Damn it!" He yelled.
"Should I come back another time?" A voice said.
"Eyes what are you?" Kanone said after he turned around to see who it was.
It had only been a couple of weeks since he had last seen eyes. Any other time Kanone would have been happy to him, but now he wasn't. He was vulnerable and miserable.
"I figure I would see how you were doing but I can see you're anything but good." He said
Kanone didn't know what to say his mind had just all of sudden went blank for some reason. This made him angrier. Eyes looked at his friend with a mixture of concern and curiousness. It had been a long time since he had seen kanone lose his composer. There were very few things that could do that. All of which he didn't think happened.
"It's going to rain soon is there somewhere we can go?" Eyes asked.
Kanone walked into his kitchen to make some tea both of them were a bit wet, for they didn't beat the rain. Maybe caffeine will calm me down. He thought. Opening the cabinet to get some mugs he felt Jade rub up against his leg again. He knew what she wanted, but he wasn't going to say anything not with Eyes being here. Jade then hopped up on the counter and began to rub against his arm and let out an array of chattering noises. (IDK if all cats "chatter" but mine does…so yeah.) Kanone finally had it and looked at Jade glared at her making her hiss and spat, but before she ran she managed to strike him on the arm with her claws. Moments later Kanone went into the living room with his and Eyes tea.
"I take it you and your cat had a disagreement." Eyes said looking under the couch at the angry cat across from him.
"You could say that." Kanone replied then looked at Jade who promptly hissed at him baring her fangs. "So why are you here?" He continued.
"I need take care of some things here and figured I would pay a visit, but it seems I've caught at a bad time." He said looking at him. "What's going on?" He asked before Kanone could reply.
"Nothing that I should be burdening you with." Kanone said trying to make it seem like it was nothing. "I take everyone has settled down since my visit?" He said desperately trying to change the subject.
"Yes, Kousuke is still attending tsukiomi." (I think that's how you spell it) He said.
"That's no surprise." Kanone said dully.
After an hour of conversing with one another Eyes stood up to leave. He was careful to not go anywhere near Kanone's cat in fear that she too would try to swat at him. That and he hated the cat. When Kanone was still in Japan he and the others would come over to hang out. Everyone would try to pet Jade and be friendly only to have her bite, hiss, spat, and/or scratch one of them. She would only let Kanone pet her and show affection towards her. Kanone looked at the fire place as Eyes was leaving he said one last thing.
"Kanone we may be damned, but that does not mean we do not have the right to love."
Kanone's eyes widen then he quickly turned to see the front door shut. He sat there looking at the door for a good twenty minutes before he looked under the couch to see jade looking back at him. Before he could ask himself how Eyes found out he spotted the broken picture frame he had thrown the morning after their fight. Looking back at him was himself and a smiling Ayame. (OMG I managed to not make a sentence like this: Eyes's eyes were staring back at him. XD VICTORY! Oh as far as I know Eyes will not show up in the story again too bad.) Kanone then grabbed his coat and an umbrella then headed out the door to look for Ayame
Ayame began to walk home from school. She was tired, which that was nothing new she would always be tired after school ended. She looked up at the sky, there were giant gray clouds. It was going to rain again pretty soon. She didn't care; right now she didn't care about anything. Ayame walked aimlessly around the town until she found herself to be at the last place she wanted to be. Why here? Out of the whole town I end up here? It's not fair. She thought as she dropped down on the bench no longer able to stand.
What made it worse was when she realized today was the same day that she met Kanone. Thunder rolled, she didn't care though, normally she was scared of thunder, but she was too depressed to be scared. A moment later rain started fall; she flinched when she expected to get wet, but she never did. Looking up she seen a yellow umbrella the closer she got to looking at the more she realized it was hers. She then spun around to meet a pair of golden cat like eyes.
"Funny how you're the one who needs the umbrella now." Kanone said smiling.
"I thought you didn't want me to be near you because it's too dangerous." She said.
"Awhile back you're the one who told me that live for danger." He countered. "At least come inside until the rain lets up…please?" He begged
"Fine, only till the rain stops." She said.
Both of them began to walk towards his house and used the umbrella to keep them dry. (In japan it's considered very romantic for a boy and girl to walk under an umbrella. ^_-) Ayame looked at Kanone from the corner of her eye then blushed and looked straight ahead when Kanone caught her. When they made it into the house Jade instantly ran and jumped into Ayame's arms and licked her nose making her giggle.
"I missed you too, Jade." She said still giggling somewhat.
"You better have, she gave me hell all day today. She even scratched me." He said.
Ayame let Jade hop down onto the floor and watched her make her way up stairs. She then went into the kitchen to see Kanone making tea. Kanone then turned and looked at her with an emotion on his face that she could not read, but she knew it wasn't a positive one.
"Why don't you go sit down, the tea is almost done." He said.
Ayame then left the kitchen and sat down with a low sigh. She wanted to understand why Kanone didn't want her to be near him. She wanted to sooth whatever worry he had about her. Kanone sat down next to her and gave her a cup tea. She silently thanked him and took a big gulp of it like she always did. She felt Kanone's eyes linger on her as she sat looking into the fire place. It made her blush in embarrassment. He then looked away when she looked at him from the corner of her eye.
"I hate this… why won't tell me why you don't want me near you? Is it that bad? Do you think I'll hate you if I know the truth?" She asked with tears threating to fall.
"Ayame it's not that. It's if I tell you it will put you in more danger then you are already in by just being near me." He said looking at her sympathetically.
"It's not fair." She gasped out as tears slide down her cheeks.
~Lemon starts here don't like don't READ!~
Before she could say anything else she felt his warm lips on hers. The kiss was once again passionate, but there was something else. She couldn't identify it at the moment she was too lost in the kiss. Kanone pulled her into his lap leaving no space between them. Ayame ran her fingers through his soft brown hair as his tongue slid in her mouth. Moments later he pulled away and began to kiss and suck on her neck, making her moan. Kanone moved his hand to first button on her shirt and glanced up at her silently asking for permission, she gave a small embarrassed nod. As he was undoing her shirt he kissed and nipped at the crook of her neck.
After taking her shirt off he laid her down on the couch and began placing tender kisses on her lips again as he ran his hands all over her exposed skin. His hand slowly slithered up her back and was resting on the clip of her bra. Pulling away he once again silently asked for her permission and was granted another nod. After removing her bra he simply looked down and admired her, making her blush even more.
"Umm…I…I think you've lo-looked at me…enough now." She said stumbling over her words making him smirk.
Before she could think about changing her mind his mouth latched onto one of her breast making her cry out in pleasure as he sucked on it. He then began to fondle the other making her moan louder and her back arch. A couple minutes later he began to kiss down her stomach and all the way back up to her mouth. As he was kissing her soft lips he felt her hands on the ends of his shit, they were trembling. He smirked into her mouth and removed his shirt which was discarded in the pile of other clothes somewhere on the floor. Instantly his mouth found hers and he shoved his tongue into her mouth and kissed her a bit more roughly.
His lust for her was starting to get the better of him, but he knew he had to control himself otherwise he might end up hurting her. This time he didn't ask for her permission for he knew he would have it, quickly but gently he pulled her skirt and underwear off then started to suck on her breasts again. Without warning he slide a finger in her making her gasp. As he pumped his finger in and out of her she began to moan uncontrollably only making him want her more. With that he slid another finger in, making her gasp and cringe in pain slightly he immediately stop and looked at her.
"Go on, I'm fine." She said reassuringly.
Pumping his fingers in and out of her faster he could feel her walls tighten. She was close, with that he pulled his fingers out of her and licked them clean, while doing so she whimpered in complaint. A smile formed on his lips; first he kissed her lips, then her breasts, and went lower and lower until he was at her entrance. As soon as he shot his tongue in her he felt her hands run in his hair as she moaned louder and louder. Once again he pulled away when she was close and thought he was going to get the same whimper of complaint instead she said something else.
"I…I want...you." She said between her uneven breathes.
Kanone looked at her a moment. He was unsure of not only himself but her. He didn't want to hurt her, even though he knew it was obvious he would for this was most likely going to be her first time. After making his mind up he threw his pants and boxer off and positioned himself at her entrance.
"Ayame are you sure you want this, because if we start and you change your mind I'm sure that I'll be able to stop." He said.
Ayame nodded and braced herself the best she could. Slowly he slid into her and stopped to see if she was in any pain yet, she wasn't. She looked back at him with faint smile on her face and gave a nod. The moment he thrusted up into her he felt her nails scrap down his back as she cried out in pain. He tried not to move the best he could so she could get used to him while he whipped and kissed her tears away. After a few minutes past she told him it was ok to continue, he slowly thrusted in and out of her. It still hurt her bit, but she didn't say anything.
Small moans of pleasure left her lips as he continued thrust up into her. Kanone could no longer control himself for he began to pound himself in and out of her making her moan his name in pleasure louder and louder. Feeling her walls tighten around him started to thrust into her harder and faster. A couple minutes later they both screamed out in ecstasy.
~Lemon has ended~
Kanone got off top of her and pulled her close to him and placed a tender kiss on her forehead while she snuggled into his chest.
"I love you, Ayame." He said
"I love you too Kanone." She said before she fell asleep.
Kanone looked up at the clock while Ayame rested his arms. It was time for her to leave, he didn't want her to go and he knew she wouldn't have wanted to leave either. With a sigh he woke Ayame up which was harder then he thought it would be, but he finally managed.
"What is it?" She asked.
"You have to go home. Mika will worry about you if you're not home soon." He said smiling.
Ayame frowned at him; he woke her up for that? She thought. With an exaggerated sigh she sat up and started to gather her clothes and put them on with a frown on her face. She could feel Kanone's eyes lingering on her watching every movement.
"You want to take a picture it might last longer." She said grinning making the brown haired boy laugh.
"It does sound like a good idea, but it would never be the same like it would be in person." He said while putting his clothes on.
Ayame replied by sticking her tongue out at him then plopped down in his lap and cuddle into him. She then felt his arms wrap around her. She felt safe in his unbreakable iron vice grip. She sighed as Kanone placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Come on I'll walk home." Kanone said.
"You sure I can't stay?" She asked.
Kanone shook his head and smiled sympathetically. He did have to give her some credit about attempting to stay with him.
"Come on lets go I'm sure people at the orphanage is wondering where you're at."
Ayame and Kanone then walked out hand in hand while Kanone silently told himself he would never leave her side.