Thorin and the others watched in stunned silence as the tiny dog left the room.
"Well. That was something else." Nori said.
"Sam, dear boy. How many lives in this house?" Balin asked, remembering Sam mentioning a pair of twins.
"Oh, well," Sam kneaded the hem of his apron, suddenly seeming nervous by the stranger in the room. "There's dad, Frodo, the twi-"
A bellow of pain from the backyard washed over the house, making Sam stop his headcount and stare wide eyed down the hallway.
"BILBO! YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A DOG BIT ME. AGAIN! I SWEAR, THIS TIME I'LL BREAK ITS FUCKING NECK! I'LL SKIN IT ALIVE! CRUSCH ITS SKULL AND DRINK ITS BRAIN! RIP THE MEAT OF ITS BONES AND FEET IT TO MITS! PLUVERIZE ALL OF ITS TINY BONES WITH MY TEETH AND DIG IT'S HEART OUT OF ITS CHEST WITH MY BARE HANDS!"
The outburst was followed with the unmistakable sound of shattering porcelain which was swiftly followed by gun shots and shouts from several different voices.
"Not again," Sam breathed, before bolting down the hall, towards the kitchen. He was back mere seconds later, with a freshly baked Apple pie in his hands. He looked franticly around the room, before leaping to one of the small tables, where he grabbing a small container of icing sugar. He purred it harshly over the still steaming pie before sprinting down the hall. Leaving the once again, stunned company of former dwarves.
As the next shot sounded, Thorin sprang to action. He ran down the hall, steering after the sound of raised voices and angry barking. Thorin burst through the door and into the yard, mere seconds after the shooting had stopped.
"You can't just shoot at him whenever he annoys you!" Frodo's shirked, he was standing a few feet away, with Sam by his side, cuddling the small dog protectively in his arms. It whimpered and nuzzled into his chest.
Thorin looked around. The stone terrace's floor was littered with bits of broken China, a few empty bullet shells and spilled tea that was slowly seeping through the cracks between the stones. Bilbo was standing beside a small table, a chair lying by his feet.
Thorin was surprised by how much Bilbo looked like the hobbit he remembered. The other members of the company had all changed in their appearances, mainly because none of them had their enormous beards anymore. And the few that still had beards, had nothing like the ones they used to have. But Bilbo still looked like himself; he still got the mob of golden curls and he was still smaller than anybody else. The only one smaller than him was Sam; even Frodo was taller than Bilbo. Bilbo didn't see Thorin. His eyes were shut and he was pinching the brim of his nose between two fingers.
"Could you please stop shooting the dog?" Bilbo asked, turning to look at the other chair where a man was sitting. Thorin was surprised that he hadn't seen the stranger as soon as he entered the garden, the man stood out like a beacon. He was a giant, at least seven feet tall with broad shoulders and a bald head. His skin was pale, not the kind of pale that some people who spend too much time indoors tends to be, no. It was an unnatural sort of pale, almost completely white. He wore a perfectly fitted three-piece suit, the shirt was pitch black and the rest was startling white. Something about him made Thorin's skin crawl.
The pale man was sitting calmly by the small table, eating a piece of the fresh apple pie, not seeming to have a care in the world. At Bilbo's irritated plea, he looked up at him and growled angrily.
"That little beast started it. It bit me first, Bilbo. I wouldn't have shot at it if it hadn't done it." The man turned his head to sneer at the tiny dog in Frodo's arms, Gollum growled in response.
Bilbo slapped the man across his bald head. "Still, it's a dog! Yes, he is smarter than an average one, but you're supposed to be the clever one! You own the greatest lay company of all times for god's sake!" The man glared at Bilbo, it wasn't an angry glare, it was like a kid that had done something wrong, got caught by his parents and was proud of it.
"Thorin!" Sam turned and spotted him, Just as the pale man opened his mouth. All heads snapped in the direction of the door, where Thorin stood.
"We meet again Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thor. As I once swore, I have come to kill you." The pale man smirked, and as Thorin looked into those icy blue eyes he felt fury roll in the pit of his stomach.
"Azog." He greeted.