Sorry for the super late update, school's just been kinda crazy lately :/
My Quiet Riot: Thanks so much!
Crimson Endings: Thanks so much
HopelessRomantic1994: Thanks so much!
Mozzi-girl: aww, really? That means so much, same to you!
I can feel something warm next to me as I wake up, wrapping itself around me like a blanket. Outside, I can hear the heavy taps of raindrops on my window, but I still don't open my eyes. I cling to sleep like I did as a kid on a early Saturday morning; hoping for a few more minutes before I have to crawl out from the covers and face the world. After a few minutes I give up, admitting defeat to consciousness and opening my eyes.
It's dark, but I can still tell that I'm in my living room. The clock on the wall tells me that I've woken up in the early hours of the morning, much too soon to get up and start my day. Beside me on the couch, still sitting up, I can feel Mal surrounding me in his arms. We had slept together, in the most literal sense of the phrase. For some reason this doesn't strike me as odd or strange…it feels natural. Like some unspoken agreement was passed between us that meant Mal wasn't just a partner or a friend anymore. That somehow, he's become so much more than that.
He's asleep, his chocolate brown hair messy and his mouth slightly ajar. I can't help the smile that forms on my lips, despite the events that brought us to this point. I would give anything to stay in this moment, but I can't. I have to face the reality that Mal was right.
There is something wrong with me.
As gently as I can, I ease Mal's warm arms off of me, the ghost of their warmth resting on my shoulder long after I leave the safety of the couch. I pull the blanket that's resting there onto him, as if this can compensate for my absence.
But after that, all I find myself doing is pacing. Worry has my throat in a chokehold, depriving my brain of oxygen and making every doubt possible blown way out of proportion.
I'm not myself anymore. At least…I don't feel like myself. I can't think straight. I don't have that drive I always had to do something anymore. This is the second time I've had one of those…hallucinations…or whatever they are. I don't want to live like this, I can't keep living like this. I need answers, I need to either find someone to fix me or find a way to fix myself. I need help. I need…Mal.
I steal a glance over at my partner, who's still fast asleep on the couch. He stayed with me, he didn't even leave after I fell asleep. He wanted to make sure I was alright.
But his constant presence still worries me. What if, one of these times, he reaches across the bed and realizes that it's not Natara that's lying next to him? What if he starts trying to find help for me? Sure, he didn't take me to a hospital this time; probably because he knew I would be find just like my 'fit' last time. But what if I got worse? There's no doubt in my mind that he would take me to the hospital, get me help. But what would that do? I wouldn't be able to find the answers I need, or even find out what happened. And God knows how long they would keep me there. Months, maybe even years, if they think I'm just crazy.
Suddenly, the phone rings, forcibly snapping me out of my thoughts and making me nearly jump out of my skin. Who could be calling at this hour? After a moment I realize it's Mal's phone, and before I can even move a muscle he's awake and already answering it.
There's no greeting as he does. No smile as the caller apologizes for calling so late, no look of blatant annoyance. His rather sleepy and confused expression is replaced by one of shock and possibly even anger. I sit down on the couch next to him as he listens, hoping to catch a piece of the conversation. But whoever's on the line is either taking very fast or very quickly, because I don't hear a thing.
After a minute or two Mal hangs up, an unusually grim look replacing his normally playful smile. I know something is wrong, even before I open my mouth and ask.
"What was that?".
He hesitates for a moment, as if trying to avoid the question. When he does answer, I can hear the uncertainty in his voice.
"Natara…Shawn's gone missing from the hospital".