Thanks so so much to mozzi-girl, HopelessRomantic1994 and My Quiet Riot for the reviews!
I'm just going to apologize in advance in case I disappear off the face of the Internet for a while. I've just been under so much pressure lately, and it's really getting to me. I have exams this week and finals next week, I have a lot going on right now so I might disappear for a while (I haven't even been on Tumblr in a while…so sorry if I miss stuff), but I swear I'll be back as soon as I can.
I take a bus.
Since it's the middle of the day, most of the people who take the bus are at work. Because of this, I'm almost alone as I pay and sit in the farthest corner of the bus.
It barely takes ten minutes to get to the nearest stop to where I'm going, but it feels like a matter of seconds. As I get off, I find myself staring at the bus driver for a few moments, unable to look away. He's an older man; with greying hair and squinty eyes.
He could be the last human face I ever see.
It takes me a while to realize what I'm doing; and after what feels like an eternity I step off the bus. I can see the few passengers peer at me curiously from the windows as the bus pulls away; unknowing that they'll probably see me again on the morning news. Only then, it'll be some stiff picture of me, probably taken from my ID. I have to wonder if they'll realize that the strange woman they saw on the bus was living the last few hours of her life.
I find the address four blocks away from the bus stop. It's a nice residential area, one that is most likely filled with families. It's empty now with the kids at school and the adults at work, making it easier to snoop around. Not that I need it, since the place where Shawn wants me to go couldn't be more obvious.
It's the only shabby house on the street. There's a chain-link fence erected around it, and the few rain-worn papers that hang around tell me that it's scheduled to be demolished next week.
Ignoring the caution tape, I take a quick glance behind my shoulder before I scramble up the fence and over to the other side.
As I land, I find myself panting as if I've just run a mile. It takes me several minutes to recover, and as I do I can feel a terrible sense dread creep in my mind. The poison must be starting to take effect, which means I have to hurry.
Bursting into the decaying front door, I take a minute to allow my eyes to adjust to the darkness before I plunge in further, pulling my gun from my holster as I walk.
"Mal?" I whisper through barely parted lips. I don't dare say it louder, who knows where Shawn could be now. "Mal?".
Most of the doors in the tiny house are open, revealing rooms so dirty and broken I can't even tell what their original purpose was. Eventually, after carefully sneaking down the hallway, I find the basement. The door is ever-so-slightly ajar as if on purpose, and as I slip down the stairs I can see a huddled shadow in the dim light of the small and grimy window at the top of the wall.
"Mal?" I whisper. For a moment, my heart skips a beat when the figure remains still and silent. And then I see the figure's head turn, and in the dim light I can make out the figure's messy chocolate-brown hair.
I don't hesitate. I nearly kill myself running down the steps as I approach the figure, kneeling down as to wrap arms around him. I can feel him hold me close, his skin cold, his face more stubbly than normal.
Mal seems speechless, and when he does manage to utter a single question he still have a streak of disbelief in his voice. "Where did you come from?".
"Long story, no time. We need to get you out of here" I say quickly, rising to my feet to help him. There's a cut under his eye and a bloody bandage over his left leg, but otherwise he seems okay. He's handcuffed to a support beam, and as I start to study the lock I notice how his wrist has been rubbed raw from the rusted metal.
"Any idea where Shawn is?" I whisper cautiously as I search for something to break the rusty metal.
"Some kind of church…I think" he answers with renewed strength in his voice. "I heard him mumbling about it while he was locking me up".
Suddenly, white-hot pain erupts in my head, nearly making me crumble to the ground. I shut my eyes and in a moment it passes, but I must have made some kind of pained expression because I can almost feel Mal's eyes on me.
"What's wrong?".
"Nothing, I just—". I stop right there as I stare right into his cerulean blue eyes. All I can think of is me, dying in front of Mal. He would never forgive himself. The last thing I would ever hear is him screaming my name.
"Listen to me, Mal" I finally build up the nerve to say through the lump in my throat. "I—We—don't have much time".
"What are you—?".
"Listen!" I snap. "I need you to know that…no matter what happens…" I choke up, unable to finish my sentence. It takes every ounce of strength I have left not to burst out in tears.
"Natara…what are you talking about?". I can't take it anymore. Hot tears steam down my face, and I can hear my own pathetic attempts to breathe. My shoulders shake and I can feel Mal's arms wrap around me, stroking back my hair. I don't want this to me his last memory of me…but I can't help it. The last few days in hell come back as a rush. Mal's abduction. The people I hurt. The times I got hurt. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this…
"I never loved you" I whisper quietly.
"What?".
"I never loved you". I push myself away. I can see confusion in Mal's angelic blue eyes, and I find myself avoiding his gaze. This is what Shawn wanted all along. He wanted me to do this…and I played right into his hands. He knew I would do anything to make it hurt a little less for Mal when I died. He knew I would do anything to keep Mal from the pain. And I fell for it. Like a loser.
Mal will live on. If I leave him here, I can still catch Shawn before I die. He'll never hurt anyone again. Soon, someone will look in my apartment and find the note. They'll find Mal and fix him. He'll be fine. Sure, he'll go on thinking I never loved him. He might still love me back. He'll be hurt. He'll be heartbroken. But not as much as if I told him and loved him. Not as much as if I held my last breath just to feel his lips on mine one last time.
I pick myself up, brushing the tears off my face. "Goodbye, Mal" I say quietly, keeping the words on my lips as cold as ice.
"Tell me the truth". He barely manages to stand up. This almost brings more tears to my eyes. His leg must be really hurting him, since I can see the pain flash across his face as he makes the effort to move from the place where he's been sitting for days. "Tell me what's going on".
I almost snap at him to sit back down, but stop myself just in time. I can't make it seem like I care. No matter what he does…a doctor can fix him. Someone will make him better. It's too late for me. I'm a as good as dead. "Good luck". And with that, I walk outside, ready to make my final act one of justice.
Please review so I can see it when I DO become fanfictually active again? ;)