"Talk to me."

"I am talking to you."

The fork drops and Yuri half turns, seeing Flynn stare at the utensil as it clatters once more and settles on top of the empty plate. The edge of the plate was now chipped.

Yuri knows he chipped off the last bit of Flynn's patience. His heart races, even though he isn't afraid.

"Why?" Flynn asks, not looking at him yet.

Yuri hates it when Flynn won't look at him. When he looks away like this, asks in that low, defeated voice of his. It infuriates him. He thinks it's partially a guilt-trip trick. He also knows that if he defeated Flynn now, then the charade was up. He was counting on Flynn to be that unshakable wall.

But in hindsight, Yuri realizes the foundation of the wall has to be unshakable. And all he had done was shake that floor.

"Why, what?" Yuri asks, going back to the stove and feeding it a small log. It was inconvenient, but that was life without blastia. He adapted.

If only he could adapt to this as easily as he did the loss of blastia.

"Why are you like this?" Flynn asks, looking to him now. "Why can't you tell me what's going on? Why…"

"Why are you sticking your nose where it doesn't need to be, Flynn?" Yuri interrupts, giving the contents of the pot a stir. "I can have a life without you constantly in it."

That was probably harsh, and by the silence following it Yuri knows he might have been misunderstood. He doesn't want to, but he ends up slowly turning to look at Flynn. Flynn sits at the table, head bowed so Yuri can't read his face, his eyes. But he can see the frown his lips were set in, and he figures Flynn is trying to decide which meaning of his words to take.

Yuri only gives him silence. Let him figure it out.

The silence goes on for a while, even as Yuri brings the finished curry to the table and doles out rice for them both. He portions out a scoop of curry for Flynn, sets him a glass of water, and gets his own plate set. Still it was silent, and Flynn was immovable.

Yuri gets halfway done with his plate before he finally breaks the tense silence, "If you're not hungry, you can just say so." Because Yuri would be damned if he wasted food on someone who doesn't want it.

"I'm thinking." Flynn mutters, but he looks at the food, slowly getting his spoon.

"Eat and think." Yuri suggests. No, he practically commands him. If Flynn isn't so still, it isn't so obvious he hurt him.

Yuri wonders if he just splashed dirt over that lovely window. He wonders how he can clean it, without it being obvious.

Flynn fears the worst, and his heart clenches, because Yuri remains quiet. He wishes he could explain things that won't put him on the defensive.

It's a draw. Tense silence covers them both as they eat, and both feel like they should have done better at their respective flaw to prevent this from happening.

"Am I smothering you?" Flynn finally asks when Yuri finishes his last bite. He timed it; Yuri can't hide behind food to avoid answering.

Yuri curses him for that. "Not smothering but you don't need to know every damn thing going on. You're my friend, not my keeper."

"What have I done to make you think I was trying to be?"

Nothing really. Yuri scowls. "You keep asking me, 'what's wrong?' 'What's going on, Yuri?' 'Tell me everything, Yuri.' Maybe I don't want to tell you."

Flynn slowly lowers his eating utensil and wipes his mouth with a napkin, finished with his own food. He doesn't thank him for the meal yet, that would mean he was done. "You used to tell me everything, eventually."

"Don't you play that goddamn card, Flynn. We're not kids. Don't treat me like I am."

"Even as adults, Yuri. Something is going on that you're hiding from me. From everyone." Flynn looks to him and Yuri's eyes focus on that centimeter of skin to the left, just so eye contact wasn't absolute. Flynn had an arresting gaze and Yuri was not going to get caught in it.

"I wouldn't worry if you told someone." Flynn continues. "But you have this thing, Yuri. You take on problems and try to shoulder them alone. I thought your adventure taught you better than that?"

"Some problems you have to solve alone."

"I'm not asking to make you let me try to solve it," Flynn interjects. "I just… don't want you to feel like you're alone, okay?"

Yuri laughs. He can't help it. That was the stupidest thing he ever heard. "I know I'm not!" Yuri manages between snickers and chuckles. "I know I got people if I need them. I got Repede, Karol, Estelle, Judy, even Rita and the old man."

Flynn waits, but the list ended there. He doesn't say a word, but he can feel his chest ache. It wasn't physical; it was so much deeper than that. "But you let yourself suffer in silence." he whispers.

"You won't let me." Yuri admits. "Even if I don't need you, you're there anyway."

What did that mean? "Be straightforward, Yuri."

"I am being straightforward."

"You're trying to distract me, Yuri."

Yuri laughs again, because this time Flynn was right. And sadly, he was caught. The laughter goes on, slowly tapering off the snickers and then to silence all over again.

Stop dimming. You're such a bright light, the perfect stained glass portrait of an angel. You're whole and reflective and you bring out the light that sorely needs to shine. Don't dim for me. Let me be the shadow. If I'm anything else…

Flynn suddenly moves and Yuri tenses, but he was too slow to prevent Flynn was grasping his hand. A part of Yuri wants to stab him with a fork. The rest of his is horrified by that aspect. He had bruised Flynn before. Bruised and possibly broken a couple of his bones.

But Yuri never made Flynn bleed. Not out of such petty emotions like annoyance.

"Let go." Yuri mutters, trying to pull away.

To his surprise, Flynn lets him go. In his mind Yuri feels like the shrinking shadow, the window too bright to approach. He wishes he could shrink away. He wishes after tonight he leaves Zaphias and does not return until he gave up on these stupid feelings.

But he knew better than that. Flynn knows. He knows Flynn knows.

"Say something." Flynn murmurs, his hand still out stretched for him. "Yuri, you're the most important person to me. You always have been. I know I'm not your keeper and we don't have to know everything about each other… but I know you better than anyone. If it's about me and you won't say it…"

"Well now I have to, don't I." Yuri says dryly, not bothering to ask. "Because you know. You damn well know but, you want me to say it. You wanted to spare me whatever stupid idea you have about what I'm thinking or feeling so you played oblivious until now, when it's getting to both of us."

"I know something is going on. But I'm asking you what." Finally Flynn retracts his hand. "And… if it was something I did. If I can fix it."

Because you're the most important person to me.

"You can't. I have to."

He isn't perfect. I wish he was. If he was perfect than my validation would stand.

"But can't I do anything?"

"No."

If he was a real angel it'd be great. But no. He fell from grace long ago. You fell with me when you stood by and understood my crimes. You didn't punish me like you were supposed to.

"But if it's about me—"

"I said I'll fix it, okay? Don't worry so damn much, Flynn."

I knew it was wrong, even if I was right. I appreciate you understanding that, but you have to stick to your laws too. But you didn't. You fell with me. That's why the window gets dirty and I can creep closer.

Flynn takes his hand again and holds tighter when Yuri tries to pull away. With some struggle Flynn gets his fingers between Yuri's and holds on, his eyes shifting so they could lock on Yuri's.

He was caught.

Or maybe this is my punishment. And so it's also yours.

"Talk to me." Flynn pleads, looking lost. He was lost. He was at a loss because everything points to him being the source but he has no direction.

He can't just pick one and hope for the best. He doesn't want to risk what's here, what's left, what's still the same.

Yuri is talking to him, but in a way Flynn can't understand. He tries to get through this way, but Yuri tries to pull away. Flynn doesn't let go. Because if he lets go he knows he completely lost. He rarely lost to Yuri, and it was in this he knows he absolutely can't.

Something in the air cracks. Flynn can see it in the subtle shift of Yuri's face, the way he goes still and lax. It sounds like a shattering glass in Flynn's ears even though reality dictates its only silence between them.

Don't be silent. You were always so loud, so open. Why are you so quiet to me now?

Yuri's hand is relaxed in Flynn's, but not in a reassuring manner. It was limp, with no will, as if it had died because Flynn touched him.

You didn't say everything to me, but your actions, paired with the little you said, told me everything. You knew it did. That's why you were comfortable with me.

He finally willingly makes eye contact with Flynn, but his eyes hold nothing. He was hiding it, even now, and Flynn wants to yell, to hit him, to do something to bring that life back to him.

So why not anymore?

"I shouldn't." Yuri admits quietly. "You don't deserve this, I know. But I know I shouldn't."

"Shouldn't what, Yuri?"

If we're going to change I want it to be for the better…

"Not now, Flynn." Yuri tries to pull his hand away, but Flynn remains steadfast. "Flynn, not now!"

"If not now then when, Yuri?" he asks. "When another world crisis comes? When something else challenges the way you do things?"

Yuri is silent, staring at him, but Flynn doesn't let go. At this point, he can't. If he does, if Yuri slips away, it really might take all of that to bring him back like before.

Slowly Yuri grips Flynn's hand back, and to Flynn's amazement, he turns their joined hands so he can press a hesitant kiss to the back of Flynn's.

I'm talking to you now.

Thank you.